Be Excellent To Each Other

don't forget what my mum used to tell me - many sultanas have spiders growing inside them, ready to burst out.

Instructions unclear; urethra now full of spiders.

I have.

Whereas, thanks to my daily genital electrocution, my urethra is entirely clear of all invertebrates!

Meanwhile, one long, glossy spider's leg is gracefully uncurling itself from Z's jap's eye. It hooks into the fleshy folds of Z's perenium, securing a solid purchase to pull from. The spider yanks itself forward, the awkward bulk of its plump torso straining against Z's urethral walls. With one succulent plop, the spider bursts free, landing on the bed. It shakes itself free of Z juice, breathes in the fresh air. Freedom. It's time for his thousands of spider buddies to come out and join him.

:Vomit:
Wasn't there something about Zardoz's inside out sleeve last week? I have a fairly worrying mental image forming now.

Okay, okay! The electro-magic fat scales work great and the science makes perfect sense!

Ha ha

Well a good weekend of tests.

45 seconds off my swim - down to 8:44 for 400m
1 min of my 5k
Ftp increase from 218 to 228 watts

Happy halstead

Using my magic scales.. I have finally dipped under 100 kilos.

I am 60 days from my big race, I don't feel ready..

If you were ready now, it would be a bit early.

Both flippant and serious, that.

Similarly, I aimed to do my long run yesterday, and baled 2 miles short of what I wanted to do (and 4 miles short of the railway station I was aiming for, too flipping far). Disappointing, and I wondered if that means I'm not really in shape. But really it's fine, marathon's not till the end of August.

Flirious!

cheers... i need to work on my swim..

Seripant!

I survived the gym last night! First session back after my hols... tough going but still enjoyable.

To be fair, while I was away I did a lot of walking (and swimming) and didn't drink half as much as I normally do (usually go All-inclusive)

...am I growing up?

Well done.

I am trying not to grow up, i just can't drink like I used to.

I just did some Wii Fit U but I messed up at the start so now it thinks I weigh nothing and every time I stand on the board it tells me I've put on weight.

So as reliable as Kov's Magic Scale then?

I guess it helps if you stand on the scale when it tells you to rather than stepping off at exactly that moment by mistake

I had a similar thing happen to me the other week, it really messed up the targets and the progress graphs etc. You'd think it would have some logic in there to prevent that, or at least a warning that the weight has changed dramatically, are you sure you are doing right?

mine are reliable, they measure weight. Just the other figures are magic

Taken a few years.

Hell of a job, man. Well done.

Cheers.

Impressive work, sir.

You're still fuck ugly, though. Any plans to do anything about that?

Gaywood and i have a solution

That is scary

Very well done.

That is some very impressive work Kov, well done.

If we're doing progress pics, I don't have any to show me as I went along; just a couple of very fat me and a recent-ish one of less fat me.

Mate. You got younger. Nice work.