Curiosity wrote:
Wait, you think that this is a good thing that races and creeds are demonised? Surely if you recognise that this is bad and that it is the government at fault, you'd vote remain rather than ally with the far right and get a more right wing government hellbent on increasing austerity and further screwing over the poor?
What can I do? vote? yeah right lmao. That will make all the difference, like.
The UK fucking loves to demonise people. We just fucking love hating some one. Right through the papers and onto the TV screens. Load up 5OD or whatever the fuck they call it now and have a look at what the majority of their documentaries are. They're about the poor, people on benefits and so on. However, due to the fact that watching some poor cunt in a real jam doesn't make good TV they instead pick all of the foul mouthed lazy cunts and demonise them to the people watching. They also have shows on ASBO and god knows what else.
This is going to be quite a long post and the reason for that is that I usually stay far away from anything to do with politics because to me it's all just fail. No matter how I vote some cunt is going to fuck me over. I've never known a politician who I actually liked and would want to share a room with for more than ten seconds. They're putrid things, vile and disgusting to me. And that includes all of them, even the ones who wanted to vote out. They only fucking did that for more control, more power. I would bet that deep down some of them didn't even want to come out as it would screw them over but getting to the top means taking a loss sometimes.
OK, so now that I've covered that and the reason why I
never involve myself in politics let me explain why I would have voted out. I know full well that people are going to come back at me and say "but that was no reason to vote out !" but trust me, when you are backed into a corner and things feel like they really couldn't get any worse you resign yourself to not caring. I would imagine this feeling of self deflation comes from having the shit end of a stick in your hand.
Honestly I could turn this shit into a book, so I will try and be brief talking about key points in my life.
Childhood. OK so after many heart wrenching conversations with my mother I found out that I wasn't right even before my dad died. She remembers clear key points in my childhood before the age of 7 where I displayed some incredibly odd behaviour.
One of the most prevalent things was rocking. Be it rocking in a chair (my dad made me one due to how obsessed I was) to rocking on a rocking horse (four corner spring type) and so on. All to music. If I was taken off/told to stop I would scream and cry.
One of the toughest things in my life is trying to understand if I was like this before my father died or after. After speaking with my entire family I now understand that it wasn't something like PTSD it was Aspergers and Bipolar disorder, that started in my early teens.
At school they didn't care. When I started to exhibit signs of Autism or Bipolar disorder (refusing to work with other kids, saying rude and inappropriate things at the top of my voice and loud outbursts) they would simply send me home. At no point did they think that something else could be causing this. They simply didn't care. It got to the point where I was about 15 or so where I would walk into a class, yell something rude like "CUNTOX !" and immediately be sent home. I knew it would work, it was a way for me to hide and get away from everything. At the time our school were offering after school tutoring to immigrants. I didn't care of course, but sometimes when I'm having a bad day I think about my life and how I was failed by some of the key people in my life. I am angry about some of the things that happened, but it can't be changed now. My mother did take me to a private psychiatrist but I threw a paper weight at his window breaking it and stormed out.
My teen years were mostly me self medicating with drugs desperately trying to stop the way my brain was working and how I was feeling. Of course that just made it all worse.
OK, so I am sick. We know that, I've never hidden that from anybody.
I did a big test in my 20s, leaving England just to see if it was my surroundings or the aggressive nature of the people I lived in and around (Ex council but a very rough area). Any way, that all went tits up and I fucked all that up so that answered that question for me.
Before I left the USA I was sick. Hallucinations, delusions, paranoia. The guy who was letting me stay with him until I had sold off all of my belongings and assets went out to work at 4am. I would stay up all night until he left, lock all of the doors and shut the curtains.
I came home looking for help. None of my family are on or have ever been on benefits. They are all hard working prime examples of a good citizen.
It's been absolutely fucking horrible if I'm being honest. All they seem to want to do is stuff me full of drugs and sedate me because there is no funding in place to actually try anything else. And I'm really fucking angry about that.
As with all benefits they give you just about enough so that you can survive on eating shit food that makes you fat and spotty. That's what I lived on for the first few years.
Now? well finally we (my wife and I, Mrs JC has also been diagnosed with Aspergers and Bipolar 1, meaning her bouts of depression are far more severe than ours.
So yeah, we scrimp and we scrape to survive. Both of us are very similar and have basically trashed our lives with our large mouths and aggression but left alone we are actually quite calm.
Any way so yeah, for a couple of years I was desperate to try and improve my quality of life. I asked for CBT but so far I have not even had that (the basic tool used to help many with mental illness) because the cuts in my area mean that basically it just isn't an option. Apparently mental health care and services are far better in areas like London and I would imagine this is why London was yellow as opposed to blue in the "in or out" and many towns dotted around the seaside counties were nearly black (dark blue).
OK, so over the past few years I have had many psychiatrists. All of them apart from one was a locum, and each of them has been little help to me whatsoever apart from the fact that they can write prescriptions. I've been refused certain apparently amazing treatments because the govt won't pay for them. I've been refused a social worker and had to kick up one hell of a stink just to get one because lately I am not coping. Not bathing, not showering, not cutting my hair, not going out, etc. I am really, really sick. That's why I hardly post anything.
And all the time it's getting worse. At one point they actually had the funds for a proper psychiatrist and he (for three years) was like a father to me. Sadly he has retired, and they don't seem to want to replace him. I wonder why? because they don't have the funds.
When Mrs JC and I married we lost 30% of the benefits we were receiving because we were married. However, unlike the people you see demonised on the TV we did not want to live lying about our status and claiming two flats etc like some of the people shown on the TV do. You constantly see programmes on the TV about women with kids hanging off of them but there's no father in sight.
So as you can imagine, Mrs JC and I are a little upset at the world right now. And then, just as our misery really couldn't get any worse we have that big thing about the PIP in the news recently.
You remember? the disability payment that people with severe disabilities like Mrs JC and I have were being struck off and kicked off of this benefit completely leaving them unable to afford to survive.
I posted a while ago about a "friend" of mine. Actually that wasn't a friend I was too scared to admit that it was actually Mrs JC. They cut her fucking PIP by £230 a month, leaving us struggling. So even after some cunt had resigned and we were promised that the cuts would not go ahead they have. They 100% have, they just managed to sweep it under the carpet.
Add to that a flat that costs far more than we are actually allowed (a dump 1 bed flat) that we have to pay £60 a month out of our PIP for because we simply could not find a single flat in the area for what the allowance covers and we're even more upset. In fact, upset is putting it mildly, we're fucking furious.
And to compound things even further I too now have the dreaded brown envelope of doom ! yup, even though I was given the higher rate of PIP due to me being terrified to even leave the house alone they are now reassessing me TWO YEARS before my award date (you are awarded it in year chunks, I got five, two of those remain). If they find that my situation has changed at all they will stop it completely. Then Mrs JC and I will probably end up homeless, as there are no hospitals in our area for people like us.
Hilariously just to test the water Mrs JC took the photocopies of her last PIP forms and copied them almost verbatim. They stopped £230 a month of her £400. Deeming that her circumstances had changed. Like fuck, they're just making these benefits impossible to get unless you have no arms no legs and no fucking arse.
It's the Tories doing this !
So right now I am under an incredible amount of stress. The last time we moved it took three months to find something we could afford
that would accept people on benefits. Because most of them are stuck up snot nosed cunts who won't allow riff raff like Mrs JC and I to live in their properties because we've been demonised to the point we are being discriminated against. We're about to lose our flat and just as another kick in the guts the Tories will probably deem me less disabled than I was before and cut my allowance too.
And all of this is going on and guess what? we are the silent parties. Most of the time Mrs JC is too embarrassed to even speak of the fact she is on benefits and fucking hates it and herself for it. Yet set loose into society she screwed up her life and ended up bankrupt.
OK, so if you've come this far you can probably understand that right now we are "a little disgruntled". That's putting it fucking mildly. We've also been told
by housing (and they probably shouldn't have told us this but they are upset also) that the reason we can not have a permanent housing association property is because of the enormous influx of immigrants in our area. I live in a reasonably quiet area and there simply aren't enough houses and flats to go around. Not unless of course we make ourselves homeless and stay on hostels and so on. Then they reckon it would take about two years.
I don't dislike Polish people. I dislike the cunt underneath me because he's a rude ignorant fucking pig and shouts and spits when he "talks" to you but that's for the reasons I have pointed out, not because I hold any racist hatred. If I were racist I would have been stabbed to death many years ago. It's kinda hard growing up in Brixton and being racist in any shape or form would have been pretty difficult.
So, even though it could make things worse why would I want to vote "out"? to teach that smarmy snot nosed fucking cunt who is destroying our lives a lesson. To spite him. And I would have, too. I honestly feel so disillusioned right now it's not even funny. I have no voice, but I was actually given one the other day and I tell you what the temptation to lash out was so fucking great that I actually went out of the house alone which took an enormous amount of guts just to fuck that privileged cunt square up the arse !
That's my reason for voting out. I don't speak for every one, and every one will have their reasons for doing so and I really don't need any one pointing out that I'm stupid or made the wrong decision because I would have voted that way simply because I am being fucked and I don't like it.
So there are probably quite a few intelligent reasonable people out there who had their reasons and their ideas who have voted "no" too, yeah? given that like, "yes" lost the vote.
Before this I had only ever voted once in my entire life. I thought it would make a difference, seems I was wrong. I felt a bit gutted for a day or so then said "Oh well". Sadly the reaction has been far from "Oh well". People are angry and I feel that all of that anger is being aimed at me.
Which sucks. These days we have food banks.
Food.Banks. know why? because there are so many homeless people. Also, we've got the Tories sanctioning people on benefits and cutting their money completely. Yup, that awesome amazing £60 a week they were given to live on can be stopped. Exactly what do the Tories think that will achieve? will it bully people into taking the jobs they offer them? cleaning toilets in pubs? or will it simply leave their lives devastated.
People are actually having to queue up and take handouts. Beg, basically.
So yeah, there's two parts of your 52%.