Be Excellent To Each Other

Hello boys and girls, I have been asked to do this weeks Beex Weex and after some initial reluctance I decided to accept the challenge, this is the first article I have written since about 2004, so I might be a little rusty (what do you mean it shows?).I used to write for various quake 3 websites, doing round ups of online tournaments and reviews of clan matches and so on, so if you see any of that seeping in please excuse it*.

So I've been thinking of how to start this, and I think I should start with a "Previously on..."

So here we go:

Previously on Beex Weex...

Actually, I changed my mind, that's a silly idea, and very hard to get working with the format we have, it might work on big tv shows, helping you to refresh your memory of what happened last week, but I don't think it will work on a forum review (especially as you can just click the relevant links to see what happened any way)

So, given that I'm not starting with a "previously on..." what should I start with? Oh, what's that? You just want me to get on with it? Okay then, why didn't you say so?

I understand that I don't actually have to do any work here, I just collate the articles that have been submitted, and that's it done yeah?

Well if that is the case, here's your lot:

[*]Kalmar Arrests Mr Wendal's Development

[*]Malbelm manages his moneyshot

[*]Kissyfur wants Murdoch to be more Nicklesonesque

[*]Zardoz is as Zardoz does

[*]Zardoz chooses a good example

[*]Zardoz (nominated twice for this hattrick post) again

[*]Plissken allows Kissyfur to get straight to work on his new policy

So, there we go, all done.

What do you mean I've got to do more?

I really don't have time for this, I've only got 50 minutes of my lunch left, and I've not eaten anything yet... I know I said I was going to do this last night, but a 30 minute blast on portal2 turned in to a 4 hour marathon. Ok, here are some of the more notable topics of the last week.

[*]Doctor Glyndwr wanted to find out where the cheapest place to buy onions was.

[*]Kern marked the 150th aniversary of the first battle of Bull Run by reviewing "North and South"

[*]Zaphod79 launches week1 of the C64 challenge

[*]Malc (hey that's me) gets people recalling their childhood (poor Mimi)

Right, unfortunatly I'm going to have to end this here, it's not as good as I would have liked, but hey, trying to fit this around a 9-5:30 job with 12 hours of commuting a week, 4 kids, a partner, TV time, xbox time etc is quite hard work, I hope you're not too disappointed in it, I guess I'll end with the photo of the week:



Stop the press, last minute addition:




Malc


* I didn't get the time to work this joke in, please ignore it

Well done Malc, good going for a lunch break.

Heh, thanks, not really happy with it to be honest, it's basically the minimum level of effort required

I did do some before I started work as well, so it's probably about 90 minutes worth of work, but there is so much more I wanted to do, so disappointed

Malc

For the "previously on ..." I'd have googled for the opening credits of any episode of Soap , and said you should simply watch this but replace the names with Beexers

Zardoz = Burt
Malia = Jessica
etc etc

Confused ? , you wont be after this weeks episode of Beex Weex

The main thing is I got a hattrick.

Well done Zardoz. If there was a prize, you'd have won it.

*adds rule to stop Zardizzle nomming himself*

He can do what now? Does he have all his ribs? That's sick.....You should definitely make that a rule. And actually enforce it.

Zardoz, you sick bastard.

*Sets up script to nominate all of Zardoz's posts from Friday at 13:38 till the end of time

If I could do you honestly think I'd be wasting my time here?

Well done Malc.

Now which poor sod has to do it next week?

I'd like to see a concept BEEX week entirely in Japanese.

I'd like to see a concept BEEX WEEX done as a performance art video.

Can it be publicly announced each week who is doing next weeks BEEX week?

This not only means we can help them more, but also that if it's MaliA's turn I won't post any amusing pictures of David Mitchell passing them off as him.

Nooooo - the surprise is the best part!

Cograts at being awesome enough to post at the right time, Malc.

...apart from when I found out I was 'randomly' selected.

"Mmm... Titanium White...

Oh, hi there! I'm Bob Ross.

Your moderators have chosen me to pass on a message. I suspect I was chosen for my soft, non-threatening voice and awesome hair, but who knows for sure. Anyway, on with the message.

This week so far has been a bit unfriendly and lacking in excellence. The mod team would appreciate it if you could all return to being funny so the Beex Weeker can have something to write about on Friday. Perhaps you could nominate a few posts from other fine contributors. Yes, that'd be nice. Apparently all you need do is send a PM with the post details to the 'Beex Weeker' group and you're all set.

You know what, I think I'll go and do that now. After I've added a few pine trees in the foreground.

Mmm... Pine Trees...."

Fucking Hell Bob, are you varnishing your picture with that brush?

I've never heard of Bob Ross, but he looks like the Traveling Wilburys have somehow merged into one person.

I've been fucking hilarious on the report post button today.

I nominate Amy Winehouse.

1) This is not particularly true.
2) THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SUBMIT A POTW.

1) Yes it is
2) When did that change, then? Did we vote on it?

Do it properly or we'll have you killed.

FFS

What? We should have some sort of message board for important announcements.

Or you could just remember the last time you queried it a couple of weeks ago.

viewtopic.php?p=572389#p572389

Do you not remember what I said a few minutes ago, about me having the world's worst attention span and memory?

In all seriousness, I'm starting to wonder if I'm suffering from early onset Alzheimer's or the early stages of dementia.

He looks like a bent DLT.

Everyone does, after a certain age

Instructions for submitting POTW are in the Bob Ross post, you belmer.

I know, I wasn't being entirely serious.

You are playing a dangerous game, man. A couple of posts you've made recently has made me wonder if you were ever serious when I thought you were...

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm as innocent as a child.

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. Mankind will surely not deny to Harold SkimpoleMr Kissyfur what it concedes to the butterflies!