Be Excellent To Each Other

We ask the questions here.

How many trips to the shop did you make?

So you spent upwards of £60 on porn mags? and on a camping trip with your parents hid 22 magazines, approximately 1.5 kilos of porn mag, hidden in a tent when you were 13? If that's true, good on you!

How did you get that many magazine back?

Well it's about damned time.


Seven or eight, can't remember exactly.

I guess so, yes. And I was in a separate tent to my parents, so hiding them was straightforward.

Just in my suitcase.

How did you come to save £60 as a 13 year old?

Please detail the titles of the magazines you purchased.

What was the name of the shop?

Please confirm with a link to google maps :

A) The campsite
B) The shop
C) The site of the airshow

Also, you took a "suitcase" on a camping trip? Why?

Hard work in the butts.


I don't still have them, jeez. I remember there was a "Club", a "Men Only", a "Mayfair", a "Razzle", a "Fiesta", "Escort", "Men's World", "Playboy", and I'm sure there was one called "Fox" too. Don't know about the rest. I ended up with multiple issues of most as the "next issue" date must have been in the period I was there.


Can't remember, but the name in the Street View below isn't what it was at the time.



A) The campsite
B) The shop
C) What airshow?

Is this a trick question? What else would I put two weeks worth of clothes in?

Gazchap is the poshest camper ever.

You've clearly not seen the suitcase that I had when I was 13 years old.

What else did you take with you for 2 weeks camping?

Did you have your own tent?

Who else went?

Not much, personally. Just toiletries from what I remember, my parents brought the rest of the stuff.


Yes.


My Mum and Dad.

Please describe the dimensions of the suitcase as best as you can remember?

Seriously?
a) How's he going to remember?
b) How is that going to help you know if he's lying?

Just in case saturnalian doesn't post in time:
trooper and gazchap for lying.

have I done it right?

therefore curio is telling the truth.

Yes, seriously.

He's taken a suitcase. The suitcase is filled with, apparently, just "toiletries". I'd know if I'd got a 'big person' suitcase or a wee little one. I never had my own suitcase when I was a lad, for example. It would be implausible that he has a suitcase just for toiletries.

Well, okay! Curio - are you telling the truth, or are you a big liar?

(I will tell you at 12:30 if he's not around).

TLB - start thinking of stories!

I am a...



















...big fat liar!

Seriously, how the hell would I break up a fight between professional footballers?

Who was our angelic truth-teller?

Tap them lightly on the body and watch them fall over?

Should this not be TLB?

Also, I was the angelic truth-teller!

FTFY

I wasn't always a mega corporate lawyer, in fact, I've never been a corporate lawyer, but anyway, onto the story: Between 16-16.5 years of age I got a rather spiffy job with mah pops at Ashby Dairy Company in, duh duh duh, Ashby. Anyhoo, my dad got me in as the carton hall Administrator. I worked in the carton hall where they had the big ass machines doing the milk cartons for the likes of M&S, McDonalds and so on. You don't see milk cartons much these days do you? So one day I was working in this tiny little room with two filing cabinets where I kept the safety check sheets that they did on the machines in the morning. My job was to file the check sheets and photocopy more of them when they needed them. This job took me about 10 minutes each morning but I had an eight hour shift so I got very bored. A lot. I'd go talk to the nutcases that worked on the machines. There was a guy called Jenko who would tell me all sorts of lurid stories. For example, that oriental, um, "lady bits" went 'sideways'. I wasn't exactly sexually active at the time so this guy was warping my little mind. Turns out this guy had spent time in prison and every now and again he'd kick off at the supervisors. He had my dad up a wall at one time threatening to kill him; it all calmed down soon afterwords, mind, cause this was a time when people would work out their differences and be mates the next day. Water off a ducks back" they used to say a lot. Oh, and there was this ugly guy called Swampy. He worked in another department (probably with no direct sunlight) and everytime he walked through the carton hall everyone on the machines would go "SWAMP MONSTER" and "URRGGGGGHHH-SWAMPY". I laughed at the time but they call this bullying these days. It's funny how these little stories stick with you after all these years. It was such a funny place to work as everyone had mindnumbingly dull repetitive jobs and these were the only things that kept them going during the day. Porno pictures in lockers was still "a thing". So one day I'm wandering about and a man fell through the ceiling and landed flat on the floor. Dead instantly. He'd been working on the roof and fell through a skylight. Health and safety wasn't what it is these days either.

This one is GJ's:



Please bear in mind she'll reply over the evening.

I realise I'm not actually playing the game but without knowing what 'stand fast' and 'role' (is that meant to be roll-call maybe?) is in this context it's a bit difficult to know what's even happening there. Some clarification would be nice even for those of us playing along at home.

I am playing, and i'll ask the same please

How old are you now, Saturnalian?

*cough*35*cough*

Does the company still exist?

Yup, but it's called Arla Foods, I think.

Do you only have two stories?

Please describe the dimensions of the company as best as you can remember.

It's a typical pyramid structure: managing director at the top; agency workers at the bottom.

Just waiting on Bobby. He'll be along soon.

Is this the third story?

In which case, this is definitely a lie...

Sorry, got caught up at work:

Right, when I was a young 'un I changed schools from a school in North Wales where I wasn't particularly happy and disliked most of the people, but also a few of the teachers. So, on the day I left, which was the last day of term; for some reason the headmaster was walking around the school seeing off each class in turn which made my form's leaving quite late, I was bored and had no reason to stay so just walked out. Now, my route home took my over the hockey playing fields which were made out of fine "all weather" dark grey gravel with a light clay under layer, meaning there was a colour differential. As luck would have it, my form looked out over the playing fields and I turned around to see them all looking out the window at me. I turned around and as a lonely figure across this playing field scuffed out a 10 foot tall, "FUCK YOU" in the playing field with my foot - it took me ages and i am still amazed I finished it, in time to see the head master looking down at me along with my former class mates.

Tch. Should've drawn a cock.

Arla is a large dairy company based in scandinavia. This could be truth

I find it hard to believe that GJ would be allowed to move a prisoner from one place to another without them being signed in/out at every possible place along the way.

But perhaps I have too much faith in the prison service

Is nickachu playing?

How long did it take to mark out the message Bobby?

Well, obviously I wasn't sat there with a stop watch, and given what I was doing, etc it felt like quite a while, but it couldn't have been that long really. I would say about 2-3 minutes, it wasn't exactly the Sistine chapel, but I wanted to make sure it was legible.

How young were you?

Roll is role call yes, all departments have to call in how many prisoners they have. If the numbers don't add up then the prison goes into a sort of lock down where prisoners aren't allowed to move until they ate all accounted for but staff can.

I was just going into GCSEs, end of third year going into fourth. So that would make me just 15, I think.

I wish I could remember how old you were when we met