ComicalGnomes wrote:
Just spotted this. I had an invasion of ants in my kitchen not too long ago. One day I came downstairs and spotted an ant. 'What the fuck is an ant doing in my kitchen?' I pondered, and then my eye tracked another ant, and another, and another.
The immediate threat was manually exterminated (squish) and yet more kept popping up. The area under the sink seems to be the culprit, so I prised off my skirting in order to get under the unit, at which point I promptly shat myself.
Literally hundreds of ants, and ants eggs (ewwwww) were facing me, crawling everywhere. After throwing myself backwards to avoid this evil infestation, I reacted quickly and picked up a can of the the only thing to hand - fly-killing spray. Now, I'm not sure if the ants died due to the fly-killing chemicals or if they did in fact drown, such was the extreme refire rate and volume of ammo used.
The area of infection was wide and they appeared to have set up base camp under a section of old underlay, left under the unit from the kitchen installation. Running low on ordinance, I decided to regroup at the local supermarket and bought some ant-killing power. Following some reconnaisance away from the anterior of the battlefield, I located the insertion point - the wall outside had a thin crack in the mortar through which many ant reinforcements could be seen climbing up the wall, and into the kitchen.
Chemical warfare immediately commenced, the reinforcements annihilated in a haze of talcum death, blown deep into the crack to prevent any possible re-entry in future. The plucky survivors on the front line were also hit hard, dying in their tens and hundreds, unable to retreat, the land as far as the eye could see covered in white death.
After several minutes, with no sign of movement, victory was declared. This left the costly and problematic cleanup operation, as the ground was littered with the dead, their corpses and larvae strewn everywhere.
$4.3bn was secured in aid, but in the end I just hoovered up the remains and embezzled the rest on star bars.
I had a Star Bar on Sunday, and very nice it was too.