Bits and Bobs 50

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Dec 02, 2019 22:26

Trooper wrote:

I had the music on while I was walking home today, started walking in time with the beat, then when the song stopped I'd forgotten how fast I normaly walk, and had to stop and start again to reset.

I find Teenagers by My Chemical Romance exactly matches my walking speed.

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 4843

Never try walking with Tool playing. Walking in the weird time signatures they use is often confusing.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 13248

Just discovered that the awesome jam that was Yub Nub was cut from Return of the Jedi in the Blu-ray release. Dicks.

And they CG’ed out Darth Vader’s eyebrows.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

My daughter just made me a cup of tea. Parenting is starting to pay off!

Mr Chonks · **Posted:** Tue Dec 03, 2019 21:40

DavPaz wrote:

My daughter just made me a cup of tea. Parenting is starting to pay off!

Was it any good though? I’m betting not

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

Mr Chonks wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

My daughter just made me a cup of tea. Parenting is starting to pay off!

Was it any good though? I’m betting not

A tad milky. Otherwise acceptable. I've had worse at work

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 13733

From Chinny

https://twitter.com/chinnyhill10/status ... 9927193603

I have fallen down the rabbit hole of one of the most vital web pages I have ever come across. The Chairs Of Blakes 7. https://t.co/s2P0hU07SG
— chinnyhill10 (@chinnyhill10) December 1, 2019

Quote:

I have fallen down the rabbit hole of one of the most vital web pages I have ever come across. The Chairs Of Blakes 7.

https://watchingblakes7.wordpress.com/2 ... -blakes-7/

(the whole website is worth reading if you are a B7 fan)

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 21136

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

1,1,1,2...repeat

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

Trooper wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

krazywookie · **Posted:** Thu Dec 05, 2019 14:58

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

krazywookie wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Nah mate, man size tissues with balsom to prevent unpleasant chafing.

krazywookie · **Posted:** Thu Dec 05, 2019 15:05

Warhead wrote:

krazywookie wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Nah mate, man size tissues with balsom to prevent unpleasant chafing.

I prefer a hand woven silk cravat, but each to their own.

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

krazywookie wrote:

Warhead wrote:

krazywookie wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Warhead wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.

1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Nah mate, man size tissues with balsom to prevent unpleasant chafing.

I prefer a hand woven silk cravat, but each to their own.

Only as a special treat.

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

My favourite @fesshole posting today, "My lazy boyfriend never helps out when we get our shopping delivered. So when he's in the other room on the PS4, I flash my tits to the delivery driver. Every time."

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

Warhead wrote:

My favourite @fesshole posting today, "My lazy boyfriend never helps out when we get our shopping delivered. So when he's in the other room on the PS4, I flash my tits to the delivery driver. Every time."

And today's is "For some reason I've started shouting 'THE AYES HAVE IT' in the style of the Speaker of the House when I ejaculate."

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 21136

My thermostat battery died today, I came home to a flat that was 32C and the boiler was still on full whack.

It's a bit warm in here....

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 48212

Christ. Mine is set to 16 and it's sometimes too hot.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 21136

I usually have it set to either 18 or 21 depending on the time of day.

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8265

Our cleaners will frequently “polish” our nest and we’ll return home to find it on some ludicrously high or low temperature.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

Is this the First World Problems thread?

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:25

I like that Riles has such a huge house that it requires more than one cleaner.

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 3033

Grim... wrote:

I like that Riles has such a huge house that it requires more than one cleaner.

And that he refers to his home as his nest. So kooky.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 48212

That's actually what he calls his penis.

Jem · **Posted:** Wed Dec 11, 2019 13:30

Our thermostat occasionally gets stuck at full whack for no apparent reason, and it's always when we're out or asleep so we end up using a fuckton of gas for hours on end. :roll:

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 48212

Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 3033

Ah I was getting confused there. I thought it was fuckton.

Jem · **Posted:** Wed Dec 11, 2019 16:34

Cras wrote:

Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

I wish Gaz's penis got stuck on full whack. :DD

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

Any more than 4 hours and you're supposed to call the doctor

GazChap · **Posted:** Wed Dec 11, 2019 17:03

Cras wrote:

Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

Well, it is depressingly old and has a mind of it's own.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11758

GazChap wrote:

Cras wrote:

Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

Well, it is depressingly old and has a mind of it's own.

And your Dad moans when you touch it.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 20997

Wait, what?

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11758

Mimi wrote:

Wait, what?

Thermostat. Don’t adjust the temperature

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 20997

Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

Mimi wrote:

Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

Grim...'s your dad?

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 3033

Findus Fop wrote:

This is a wonderful thread about, among other things, the importance of tea:

https://twitter.com/garius/status/1190244042665271296?s=09

He's at it again, making me sob at my desk. This time on the topic of the Underground, loss, and kindness.

https://twitter.com/garius/status/1204795961731629058

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:58

DavPaz wrote:

Mimi wrote:

Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

Grim...'s your dad?

Such a fucking disappointment.

Nik · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 1912

Grim... wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Mimi wrote:

Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

Grim...'s your dad?

Such a fucking disappointment.

Harsh! If my daughter turns out anything like Mimi, I'll be absolutely delighted!

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:52

This plot twist is up there with the Star Wars one.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Dec 12, 2019 13:18

Kern wrote:

This plot twist is up there with the Star Wars one.

"...as if millions of thermostats suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly turned up to full. I fear something terrible has happened."

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 21136

I took a bus for first time in ages this week. It also smelt of piss, who are these people pissing on buses?

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

Trooper wrote:

I took a bus for first time in ages this week. It also smelt of piss, who are these people pissing on buses?

Tories. Probably

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:46

DavPaz wrote:

Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long

I'm out in town tonight.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 21136

MaliA wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long

I'm out in town tonight.

Where are you planning to piss?

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 35711

MaliA wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long

I'm out in town tonight.

Where are you drinking?

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Dec 13, 2019 12:04

DavPaz wrote:

MaliA wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long

I'm out in town tonight.

Where are you drinking?

Tops off down Matthew street la

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

Today's @fesshole confession that made me giggle.

I used to regularly dial into important meetings at a big four bank in a high pitched voice as 'Hitler' so the system would say 'Hitler...has joined the conference'. As soon as someone said 'sorry, who has joined?' I would leave, so it said 'Hitler...has left the conference"

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:37

Happy birthday mimi!

Nik · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 1912

MaliA wrote:

Happy birthday mimi!

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 50
50 shades of bits

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Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 50 50 shades of bits

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Bits and Bobs 50
50 shades of bits