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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2019 22:26 
SupaMod
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Trooper wrote:
I had the music on while I was walking home today, started walking in time with the beat, then when the song stopped I'd forgotten how fast I normaly walk, and had to stop and start again to reset.

I find Teenagers by My Chemical Romance exactly matches my walking speed.

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 10:50 
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Rude Belittler

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Never try walking with Tool playing. Walking in the weird time signatures they use is often confusing.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 13:53 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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Just discovered that the awesome jam that was Yub Nub was cut from Return of the Jedi in the Blu-ray release. Dicks.

And they CG’ed out Darth Vader’s eyebrows.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 21:15 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
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My daughter just made me a cup of tea. Parenting is starting to pay off!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 21:40 
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DavPaz wrote:
My daughter just made me a cup of tea. Parenting is starting to pay off!

Was it any good though? I’m betting not

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 21:48 
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Mr Chonks wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
My daughter just made me a cup of tea. Parenting is starting to pay off!

Was it any good though? I’m betting not

A tad milky. Otherwise acceptable. I've had worse at work


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2019 16:35 
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Two heads are better than one

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From Chinny

https://twitter.com/chinnyhill10/status ... 9927193603




Quote:
I have fallen down the rabbit hole of one of the most vital web pages I have ever come across. The Chairs Of Blakes 7.


https://watchingblakes7.wordpress.com/2 ... -blakes-7/

(the whole website is worth reading if you are a B7 fan)


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 7:41 
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Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 8:42 
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ugvm'er at heart...

Joined: 4th Mar, 2010
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Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


1,1,1,2...repeat


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 14:51 
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Trooper wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 14:58 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
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Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 15:02 
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krazywookie wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Nah mate, man size tissues with balsom to prevent unpleasant chafing.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 15:05 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
Posts: 2655
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Warhead wrote:
krazywookie wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Nah mate, man size tissues with balsom to prevent unpleasant chafing.

I prefer a hand woven silk cravat, but each to their own.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 15:13 
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krazywookie wrote:
Warhead wrote:
krazywookie wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Sorry, I meant a music.

In other news, my toilet paper is faulty.

Please define the fault clearly and concisely.


1,1,1,2...repeat

I suspect the problem is with the nut on the toilet seat.

The fix is to nut into a sock in future.

Nah mate, man size tissues with balsom to prevent unpleasant chafing.

I prefer a hand woven silk cravat, but each to their own.

Only as a special treat.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 15:14 
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My favourite @fesshole posting today, "My lazy boyfriend never helps out when we get our shopping delivered. So when he's in the other room on the PS4, I flash my tits to the delivery driver. Every time."


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2019 13:27 
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Warhead wrote:
My favourite @fesshole posting today, "My lazy boyfriend never helps out when we get our shopping delivered. So when he's in the other room on the PS4, I flash my tits to the delivery driver. Every time."

And today's is "For some reason I've started shouting 'THE AYES HAVE IT' in the style of the Speaker of the House when I ejaculate."


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 21:54 
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ugvm'er at heart...

Joined: 4th Mar, 2010
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My thermostat battery died today, I came home to a flat that was 32C and the boiler was still on full whack.

It's a bit warm in here....


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 2:02 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Christ. Mine is set to 16 and it's sometimes too hot.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 8:43 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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I usually have it set to either 18 or 21 depending on the time of day.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 8:58 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

Joined: 17th Dec, 2008
Posts: 8293
Our cleaners will frequently “polish” our nest and we’ll return home to find it on some ludicrously high or low temperature.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:00 
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Is this the First World Problems thread?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:25 
SupaMod
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I like that Riles has such a huge house that it requires more than one cleaner.

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 10:26 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
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Grim... wrote:
I like that Riles has such a huge house that it requires more than one cleaner.


And that he refers to his home as his nest. So kooky.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 10:35 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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That's actually what he calls his penis.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 13:30 
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sneering elitist

Joined: 25th May, 2014
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Our thermostat occasionally gets stuck at full whack for no apparent reason, and it's always when we're out or asleep so we end up using a fuckton of gas for hours on end. :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 14:26 
SupaMod
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 14:44 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
Posts: 4296
Ah I was getting confused there. I thought it was fuckton.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 16:34 
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Cras wrote:
Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.


I wish Gaz's penis got stuck on full whack. :DD

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 16:45 
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Any more than 4 hours and you're supposed to call the doctor


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 17:03 
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Cras wrote:
Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

Well, it is depressingly old and has a mind of it's own.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 17:52 
Awesome
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Yes

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GazChap wrote:
Cras wrote:
Thermostat is what Jem calls Gaz's penis.

Well, it is depressingly old and has a mind of it's own.

And your Dad moans when you touch it.

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Always proof read carefully in case you any words out


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 18:52 
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Wait, what?

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 19:14 
Awesome
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Yes

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Mimi wrote:
Wait, what?

Thermostat. Don’t adjust the temperature

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 19:51 
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Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 20:13 
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Mimi wrote:
Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

Grim...'s your dad?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:46 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
Posts: 4296
Findus Fop wrote:
This is a wonderful thread about, among other things, the importance of tea:

https://twitter.com/garius/status/1190244042665271296?s=09


He's at it again, making me sob at my desk. This time on the topic of the Underground, loss, and kindness.

https://twitter.com/garius/status/1204795961731629058


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:58 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

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DavPaz wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

Grim...'s your dad?

Such a fucking disappointment.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:40 
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Posts: 1982
Grim... wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Was going to make a joke about the privilege of growing up with heating and a dad as I had neither, but realised it was grim...

Grim...'s your dad?

Such a fucking disappointment.

Harsh! If my daughter turns out anything like Mimi, I'll be absolutely delighted! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:52 
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This plot twist is up there with the Star Wars one.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 13:18 
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Kern wrote:
This plot twist is up there with the Star Wars one.

"...as if millions of thermostats suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly turned up to full. I fear something terrible has happened."

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:09 
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Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:12 
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ugvm'er at heart...

Joined: 4th Mar, 2010
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I took a bus for first time in ages this week. It also smelt of piss, who are these people pissing on buses?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:14 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
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Trooper wrote:
I took a bus for first time in ages this week. It also smelt of piss, who are these people pissing on buses?

Tories. Probably


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:46 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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DavPaz wrote:
Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long


I'm out in town tonight.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:58 
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ugvm'er at heart...

Joined: 4th Mar, 2010
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MaliA wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long


I'm out in town tonight.


Where are you planning to piss?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 12:00 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
MaliA wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long


I'm out in town tonight.

Where are you drinking?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 12:04 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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DavPaz wrote:
MaliA wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Due to tonight's Xmas drinking, I'm going to work on the train and bus this morning. It feels tonally apt to be on a miserable, windswept, drizzly kerbside waiting for a piss-smelling bus. Don't know how I managed to do this for so long


I'm out in town tonight.

Where are you drinking?


Tops off down Matthew street la

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2019 13:51 
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Noob as of 6/8/10

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Today's @fesshole confession that made me giggle.

I used to regularly dial into important meetings at a big four bank in a high pitched voice as 'Hitler' so the system would say 'Hitler...has joined the conference'. As soon as someone said 'sorry, who has joined?' I would leave, so it said 'Hitler...has left the conference"


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:37 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Happy birthday mimi!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 50
PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 12:11 
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MaliA wrote:
Happy birthday mimi!

:this:


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