Be Excellent To Each Other

Grief is the price we pay for love, said someone cleverer than I.

Flop is the best parent ever. He's my parenting role model. Seriously. And yes, he and Amma handled it beautifully.

Why?

You've got me thinking about the Sailor Sue episode of Old Jacks Boat now.... and someone is chopping onions in the office too!

This is a great start to the day.

I recently read Death's Summer Coat by Brandy Schillace. The book looks at various death customs and traditions around the world, and tries to argue that we need to be more open and honest about the inevitable rather than trying to pretend it isn't a thing. Not sure I will go as far as holding "death parties" where we discuss the other side over cheap Chilean chardonnay but the anthropological stuff was interesting.

He slapped Bing around a bit called him a "stupid floppy eared shit" and locked in a box outside for 4 hours.

Standard.

The toilets on our floor at work have been redecorated. They appear to have gone for stripper dressing room chic:

Is that some weird illusion or are the sinks knee-high?

Maybe they're urinals and you get one to yourself.

Do you normally share a urinal with strangers?

How many people work at your place Craster? Are they imagining all those sinks will be in use at one time?

Depends how classy the pub is.

That is something that bugs me so much about our toilets here at work.

There are 5 urinals and three cubicles in the men's, allowing 8 people to use them at the same time.

But then there are only four sinks, so we have to assume that people are twice as quick at washing their hands.

But then there is only one hand dryer, so there's always a queue for the dryer. Just... annoying.

With hindsight, scribbling 'http://www.beex.co.uk/' on a blackboard above a trough in a particular Oxford pub was not one of my better ideas. Late one night a few weeks later, after I'd completely forgotten about it, a friend sent me a photo of it with the note 'was that you, Kern?'.

Still, if you joined because of it, hello there

Superb viral marketing effort there Kern! We need more like this...

Which reminds me of a story. While I was at College I had a part time job in a retail store. We had a sticker printer but I was the only one who knew how to work it so I printed off a shit load of "Ross Rules" and "Ross 3:16" stickers and stuck them everywhere. All my friends had a pile each and was doing the same. I later found out that each roll of stickers cost the company around £65 at the time.

Anyway.. One day, while I was at college, one of the lecturers approached me and asked if I knew anything about these stickers. I denied all knowledge even though I was sitting there in an Austin 3:16 T shirt. He believed me and carried on his investigation.

That's the sort of shameless blatent self promotion I would be proud of. I only ever got as far as filling in a customer comments card saying how great I was and posted it. The next week, regional manager gave me £15 smiths vouchers for being great.

You can't really see where the floor is in the picture

About six thousand. Also many sinks are important in a multicultural work environment when certain religious observances require washing before prayer.

Apart from the floor on the right, you mean?

Oh yeah, you can. Anyway no, low waist height

What's a low waist?

When yo hips near you feet

Recycling culture

Like, waist height for short people

This is how a lot of the young men used to wear their jeans in my part of London. Low waist. Very low. I always wondered what was keeping them up as it must have been something over than gravity.

But you also need to take into account that urinals 4 and 5 overflow if you aren't careful, so they are best ruled out. Your calculations also assume that it takes the same amount of time to wash your hands as it does to complete each type of bodily function, and that's definitely not the case for some people.

The one dryer is a bit poor though.

Also if there are five urinals, then you're only permitted to use 1, 3, and 5.

In the womens' there are three cubicles, four sinks and one dryer.

The women's one at least gets a supply of hand towels.

And flowers by the sink.

What the heck? I want toilet flowers!

It's to cover the smell of the sani-bins, trust me.

One wonders how you know this!

If they smell, they aren't sanitary. They are also fake flowers, so no. And the toilets usually smell of oranges due to the automatic timed spraying things.

The best thing in the toilets there are the automatic sink sensors. I have a top with a reflective edging to the zip, which when I walked into the bathrooms used to make all of the taps spring into action at once.

Wait, you guys are assuming that all 5 urinals can be in use at once... as we all know, this is impossible. A maximum of three can be in use at any one time.

Thinking about it, my work has 2 urinals, 2 cubicles and a shower which means that 4 people can go at the same time.

We also have two sinks and no hand dryer.

My work has three cubicles and two urinals which are just too close to each other for comfort. Again, three sinks and one hand drier. Used to be an airblade now it's a normal one.

My work has 5 cubicles, 4 urinals and 2 sinks with cold water only, and no separate ladies toilet.

The contractor thinks that's fine because the cubicle door closes and so screens me from the urinals. Which is just great. As soon as you walk out of the cubicle the urinals are right in front of you.

How do communal bathrooms work in places? Do they have urinals? Are they behind doors?

I don't like it when there's two segregated toilets, but behind each door is just one throne. Far more efficient to make them both unisex, although from experience the ladies' does smell nicer.

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*my friend Veronica was taught german at a different school by Mummy Afterthought, so calls me "Frau" on occasion and has done for 22 years now.

I particularly enjoyed this men's toilet in Brno in the Czech Republic. This was the gents, it wasn't one cubicle for a gent, there was no lock. Got to know eachother very well that evening.

At the next multi-period I attend, I'm going to ask one of the Romans if they use the sponge stick.

Xylospongium. That's the term.

I hope your phone doesn't make a camera shutter sound when taking pics

Living in the future is great, i am chatting to someone in Myanmar about Hoxton

Ask them what their urinals are like.

And their bin collections.

The toilets in TECHNOPUB are awesome.