Be Excellent To Each Other

Tw3lve

4our

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Crying

Tw0

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Eleventy one

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Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal

Moi?

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LLOL

It was just a matter of time

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EDIT: forgot to scroll down.

Was there mod abuse involved in that? Not that I fucking care! Grim... wins.

I was going to make a rule that no one poster could post 2 of 3 consecutive numbers, but...

1

There was not! It was unexpectedly tense.

So, Grim..., as it's Thursday...

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It's not the cottage anymore. You can stop playing one.

Hello!

Write a micro story (typically 300 words or less) about drunken Internet nerds who get together for an annual piss up in a big house.

A longer story is fine, if you want.

"Fewer!"

Fin.

Once upon a time there was a cottage. Deep in the dark woods and fields it yearned to be wanted. To be filled with merriment and joy. Its creaking stairs and faded carpets had seen fun once, but no more.

No more.

It used to be that each year a merry band of nerds had made the cottage their home for a long weekend: drinking, playing games, eating, shouting, drinking, getting sick, drinking again, and high-fiving. The cottage missed the nerds. Sure, there were other people who came by, but their existence barely registered with the cottage. They watched the tiny TV, and sat, grey, staring at the screen. Not like when the nerds were there.

Not like when the rooms were filled with the smells of amazing curries, or the shouts of joy of a game being won. A wry smile rolled around the - the eaves? - of the cottage. It was perhaps the memory of a smile. A group of merry revellers playing and laughing. The cottage played the phrase "Johann Sebastian Push You Over" through its mind and the smile continued.

It seemed like it had been many months since the nerds had been, and the cottage watched as the snow on the ground began to accumulate. "Soon", it thought. "Soon the nights will draw in, and The Asdas will put out their Halloween gear again."

Soon the cottage would be filled with foam darts, cake and alcohol, but most importantly, the nerds who made it feel alive.

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Derby

In west Southampton born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some beer pong outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, "You're movin' with your auntie Grim... and uncle Craster at Stenson Hill Farm."

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it."

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking port at 4am
Is this what the people of Derby living like?
Hmm, this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Derby

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a Scotsman standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get teabagged yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare (from Nottingham)
But I thought, "Nah, forget it."
– "Yo, home to cottage."

I pulled up to the house about 12 or 1
And I yelled to Joans, "Fancy a game of One?"
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my porcelain throne as the Prince of Derby

Aw! Bring it in, guys. It's group hug time.

If nothing else comes in before midnight it's a win for Russ!