Be Excellent To Each Other

While that sucks, it's good that you've sought help and had it recognised. I'm sure it'll just be a temporary setback due to your situation, and you'll be back on track before you know it.

yes managed to royally fuck things up with my ex last night...

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm always around if you need to chat.

Thanks

Likewise dude, if you need a shoulder Jem and I are only around the corner

Thanks mate.

It feels bad, but I am still not coping, Read a good term for anxiety. 'Imagine if every small decision felt like it had life or death consequences.'

What i have done is contacted my ex too much, as it was in my head that i needed to make amends, even though i don't want to date any one yet....

My weight has dropped to 14 stone 13, i think i need to eat more

You say that like this has been going on for years and treatment after treatment is failing dude - but it's not, and this is all fresh and new. You've only just started to take steps to deal with what's going on. You will probably go forwards, feel better, step backwards, feel shit (maybe even several times) before you feel like you're back in control.

Christ knows it's taken me 18 months to start to feel reliably stable some of the time and that's with the support of a counsellor, Gaz and people like you guys who are just wicked awesome

Give it time, be gentle with yourself. And grab me later if you need to

Cheers hun

I'm only just now coming out of a major depressive episode that started about two years ago, so be patient mate.

I am not patient...

Nor am I. It's been fucking bullshit.

Cheers.. will try it day at a time..

And remember to eat, and keep away from my ex etc etc

Join a different swimming and running club. I know it's shit but you need to keep away.

I am looking at running, but swimming I can't

You could join another club for running as a start (as in - for the running part of your training) - see how that goes. Plenty of people belong to more than one club, so that's not abnormal in itself. And there may be triathlon types there who train amongst themselves - be a different network to feel out, at least.

I ran with a new club on Tuesday, they seem ok. Will do that for a bit.

My tri club swim times are the same as my ex, but I can avoid..

Even if you need to make changes that you would otherwise rather avoid (i.e. changing or dropping a particular club) in order to achieve something that would make a positive difference like avoiding your ex then you really should consider it. Obviously it's not ideal but you need to prioritise whatever would help you the most and it's not like these need to be permanent changes; just something you might need to do to get the breathing space you need.

That is a good idea.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/word ... .bhgryREY2

These made me chuckle. Like 6, 11 & 12

'What it truly means to be alive'

A friend got me this as an early Christmas present, and asked me to read it... Which I did in 2 nights.

I recommend this if you suffer with 'the black dog' or know some one that suffers with it. It explains anxiety and depression brilliantly, and how to cope with both..

It explains, why I have been odder than normal, but I am on my way back...

A big thanks to all my friends that have just listened to me in the last few months, it has really really helped.

My sister's best friend's husband killed himself, leaving behind two kids (6 and 12.) He hid depression and financial troubles for many, many years. I never met him, but I've spent time with Sam and her children; it took them a very long time to come to terms with. I cannot imagine what it was like for her and them.

She's just had a story about it published by The Sun: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/fa ... mself.html

I thought about it, at my lowest point, I just know it would have destroyed my son.

Some days are a struggle, where i don't even want to get out of bad. Other days I feel my awesome self. Thank fully more good than bad....

Thanks Kov, I have a close friend going through something similar at the moment, I'm going to get her this I think. Xx

Thanks for this. I spent most of yesterday reading it. Unlike similar books it was refreshingly non-patronising and I recognised quite a lot of what he describes. I'm going to keep it nearby in case I need it again. The chapter on how to care for someone else was useful too.

Yes.. I am not lending mine out.. the last few chapters are great.. Will read and re-read.

I think I am using this thread as my therapy, sorry for taking over

Don't apologise. Do what you need to do.

What if he needs to apologise?

Ask Justin Bieber.

Given up on doing that. Can't change the past. Accept it and move on.

It has been nearly 3 weeks and only one dip, sleeping better. Feeling better.