Alan Wake
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I am sending it back to Gamefly. Congratulations, Alan Wake, you broke me. I lost the will to game.

But seriously. There came a point for me when the dullness of the repetition outweighed the entertainment value. I don't have it in me to finish for the achievement points.
Yeah, by the time you've seen chainsaw dude, you've seen everything the game can throw at you.
I am still looking forward to playing this... my reckless enthusiasm will remain unfettered!
So that's what just lashed my forehead...
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
I am still looking forward to playing this... my reckless enthusiasm will remain unfettered!


I didn't like it, but it admittedly wasn't the worst game I've ever played or anything. I mostly felt like I was in a shitty relationship with a mildly irritating person. Alan Wake and I got off on the wrong foot, then every little annoyance drove me batty. "God, Alan. Why do you speak in cliches and mix your metaphors? Stop narrating everything. Come on, duck -- did you even SEE that fucking huge evil spirit thing? Oh good. Talk some more. No, it's fine. Whatever. MOVE FASTER YOU SLACK JAWED SONOFABITCH."
The moving faster bit annoyed the arse off me. I'm sure I could find a little bit more energy to lunge out of the way if somebody was swinging a sledgehammer at my bonce. You know, from that adrenaline stuff. Instead of, oh I don't know, opening my flappy mouth breathing gob and gasping a bit before drunkenly and slowly hobbling away.
Also "The Taken" is a shite name for the things attacking you. He's never even heard the phrase before but shouts down to his no-neck friend "BARRY! IT'S A TAKEN!" Such a stupidly dramatic name. But I suppose it's better than Alan shooting "Darkies".
shoesonwrong wrote:
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
I am still looking forward to playing this... my reckless enthusiasm will remain unfettered!


I mostly felt like I was in a shitty relationship with a mildly irritating person.


Do I know you?
Seems to me that if they'd been taken somewhere, they wouldn't be much of a threat. "The Takers" sounds more ominous. Unless they're taking you out to dinner at a nice steakhouse. That's not creepy either.
They should have been called The Shadows and then the final boss could have been Cliff Richard.

I'm still playing this despite it really getting on my tits now. The other night I fought my way through some more forest, a ghost town and a construction to site to make it to point A only when I got to point A
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
The fucking kidnapper didn't turn up and so I now have to go to point B. Oh you fucking wankers


One thing that really nips me up (and it's not just this game it's many others) is the plot and the dialogue indicate a need for urgency yet the game encourages you to bugger off the main path to find collectables like coffee flasks. "Yes I know you are in the clutches of a homicidal maniac dear but 2 more flasks and that's 20g baby"
Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Seems to me that if they'd been taken somewhere, they wouldn't be much of a threat. "The Takers" sounds more ominous. Unless they're taking you out to dinner at a nice steakhouse. That's not creepy either.


Takers sounds like a certain catergory of friend who take much more than they give. This, in and of itself isn't too much of a problem, it's just when you notice that the main dynamic of your friendship seems to be them only getting in touch when they want something, and it starts to smack of dependency that my more than ample generosity gets ground out like a candle dropped lighted end first into wet sand. Why would I want to play a game which is populated by people like that?
That reminds me, can I borrow twenty quid?
Can I borrow £20 for the first time?
Yeah, sure.
get it off Doccy G
Trousers wrote:
'm still playing this despite it really getting on my tits now. The other night I fought my way through some more forest, a ghost town and a construction to site to make it to point A only when I got to point A
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
The fucking kidnapper didn't turn up and so I now have to go to point B. Oh you fucking wankers


One thing that really nips me up (and it's not just this game it's many others) is the plot and the dialogue indicate a need for urgency yet the game encourages you to bugger off the main path to find collectables like coffee flasks. "Yes I know you are in the clutches of a homicidal maniac dear but 2 more flasks and that's 20g baby"

:this:

So many things go wrong for Alan Wake. So. Many. Things. But does he learn? No, he never learns. I can only assume that instead of thinking thoughts, "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret is on a loop in his head.

Those stupid fucking piece of shit goddamn useless coffee thermoses. *shakes fist*
"Hey Alan, I hear you're off to Cauldron Lake for a big showdown with a tornado. Want to take this hunting rifle you had last night?"
"Nah."
"Well how about a full supply of ammo for that pistol you're carrying instead?"
"Nah."
"More batteries? You can hold another twelve in your pocket."
"Nah."
Dimrill wrote:
"Hey Alan, I hear you're off to Cauldron Lake for a big showdown with a tornado. Want to take this hunting rifle you had last night?"
"Nah."
"Well how about a full supply of ammo for that pistol you're carrying instead?"
"Nah."
"More batteries? You can hold another twelve in your pocket."
"Nah."


I've not got to the end yet , but maybe he opens up a store to sell all the stuff , i'm suprised that he's not tripping over boxes of batteries by the end of about chapter 3 or 4
I don't know about you, but I could really drink an Energizer around about now.
I ran past the bulldozer and missed the cheevo. Doh. Can i really be doing with chapter 3 again?
I finished it. It's really not very good and the ending went down with me like a cup of cold sick.

I don't think I can even be arsed to go back to the episodes to mop up the easier cheevos.

Thing that annoyed me the most in the end? The fact that he could change batteries in a torch quicker than he could reload a gun.
I'm still trying to find the button on my torch at home that makes it "more". I mean, obviously that batteries recharge themselves while I'm using it, but where's the "more" button?
Yerpgonks: "Remedy has great ideas for Alan Wake 2!"

Yeah, Sam Lake's been watching season 2 of Twin Peaks and Salem's Lot while writing it down line by line. Coupled with the gameplay of... phh... Mario Kart.
I've started this now and am actually really liking it. All the "rip-offs" are more paying homage to really cool stuff that the writers obviously liked, imo... it's not a lack of imagination, it's a tribute. But if you don't think so then fine. I like the ambience, I like the story-telling method, and walking into places that I instantly recognise from Twin Peaks despite not having been there before in the game gives me a slight erection, I'm not going to lie. The torch/gun dual weapon thingy is a bit fiddly but I respect the effort at doing something different, in the same way that I found Bullettime when they did that in Max Payne. All in all I'd say it was a 7/10 game based on my experience so far. And I seem to have a code for the Signal DLC lurking inside my manual :)
get to fuck are they homages. they're clear rips.
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
But if you don't think so then fine.


Wait wait wait wait wait. Wait.

Dimrill didn't like this game?
shoesonwrong wrote:
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
But if you don't think so then fine.


Wait wait wait wait wait. Wait.

Dimrill didn't like this game?


Dimrill got bored of the game quite quickly then played it non stop for about another 24hours to max all the cheevos in it

I'm bored with bits of it but I will return to finish it just taking a break from it at the moment

It doesn't strike me as "bad" just not all that polished
shoesonwrong wrote:



I woke up outside fully clothed in a residential grassy area with my shoes on wrong once.
zaphod79 wrote:
shoesonwrong wrote:
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
But if you don't think so then fine.


Wait wait wait wait wait. Wait.

Dimrill didn't like this game?


Dimrill got bored of the game quite quickly then played it non stop for about another 24hours to max all the cheevos in it


Based on the fact that Dimrill is the only person in this thread to piss and moan about the game more than myself, I gathered as much.

I feel as though I need a special online indicator for when I'm being sarcastic. In real life I just wear my usual deadpan expression and ring this little bell.

:D
I feel like there's a use for :boots: somewhere here, but I'm not quite sure where and for whom.

Also, I regard disagreeing with Dimrill about games as a sign that I'm probably right. In this instance however I will bow to the fact that he is clearly capable of reading the creators' minds in a way that I cannot, so when he says their thought process was "I can't be arsed to design a whole game and plot and stuff, let's just watch some DVDs and steal bits we like" then my much more plausible theory of game designers having fun referencing pop culture must be swiftly discarded :roll:

Anyway, my free Signal DLC just finished downloading so :p
If they were "homages", then they would be subtle and fleeting. These are battered over your head and face repeatedly for the full course of the game, even going so far as to include in the mouth breathing flappy gobbed dialogue him spelling it out in no uncertain terms. Homages in themselves irritate me. You stole that you fucking plagiarist! No, no, it's a "homage". Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Be it homage or plagiarism what they've done is taken the original inspiration, shat on it, pissed on that shit then put that mix in the microwave and poured the resulting sludge onto paper to create the script.

The main character is a complete cock, the comedy sidekick belongs in a Kangaroo Jack sequel, the wife escaped from a Scooby Doo cartoon and the plot runs itself into the ground quickly so gets padded out with "Oh noes I am miles away from my destination and have to travel through a forest to get there" contrivances.
Dimrill should never watch 'Kill Bill'.

That is all.
Curiosity wrote:
Dimrill should never watch 'Kill Bill'.

That is all.


No one should. it's fucking shit.
MaliA wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Dimrill should never watch 'Kill Bill'.

That is all.


No one should. it's fucking shit.

rongz
I got this around two weeks before it came out because I'm still on Microsoft's journa-list. (Hopefully they'll send me Reach as well, though they might've cottoned on by now.) I finished the first chapter on the day it arrived and couldn't be arsed to play it again until today. I played the second chapter to completion. It's so dull! Does it pick up after Chapter 2? It looks so pretty during the day time when you're in the town or wherever, but I've spent the first two chapters running through tedious forests in the dark with pretty much no fucking ammo for my rubbish revolver. I honestly just can't be arsed to start chapter 3. Please tell me it gets better than this.
Wogan'sTrouserBulge wrote:
It's so dull! Does it pick up after Chapter 2?


No. You've seen all it can throw at you and it's just a matter of grinding through to the end. Try to enjoy the "plot".
But hey, I got a cool Alan Wake branded LED torch from Microsoft.

It doesn't have a booster button.
Dimrill wrote:
Wogan'sTrouserBulge wrote:
It's so dull! Does it pick up after Chapter 2?

No. You've seen all it can throw at you and it's just a matter of grinding through to the end. Try to enjoy the "plot".

I will confess, the gameplay is fairly limited in scope. I happen to enjoy it though. But if you haven't enjoyed it so far then your heathen self probably won't fall in love with it any further down the line.
Quote:
BBC Worldwide says that Microsoft’s horror outing piqued interest at broadcasting giant

In an interview with MCV concerning the BBC’s new focus on video gaming, BBC Worldwide’s vice president for digital entertainment Robert Nashak has singled out Microsoft’s Alan Wake for particular praise.
“It is interesting you mention Alan Wake,” Nashak told MCV.
“Recently the TV people came to me and said ‘We love Alan Wake, we would love to do something like this with you’. There’s a spirit of collaboration right now that I have never seen in any company I’ve worked for.


For fuck's sake you clump of fucking IQ tests. It's Twin Peaks! Cunts.
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
Worst game ever :(

I enjoyed it.
It appears that the new Alan Wake XBLAH thing will involve you battling an evil Wake doppelgänger which totally isn't ripped off even more directly from Twin Peaks at all. These fucks need to get sued.
Dimrill wrote:
It appears that the new Alan Wake XBLAH thing will involve you battling an evil Wake doppelgänger which totally isn't ripped off even more directly from Twin Peaks at all.


Nah, it's only ripped off as much as it already was given that the DLC for the original game had an evil doppelgänger as the antagonist.
Either way: SUE! DOUBLE SUE! Come on Mr Lynch.

Edit: This was a fun thread. It's just missing someone getting personally upset that I didn't like the game and constantly belittling and attacking me for my comments.
Dimrill wrote:
This was a fun thread. It's just missing someone getting personally upset that I didn't like the game and constantly belittling and attacking me for my comments.

Those Lego pieces won't find themselves, Snuffles!
Dimrill wrote:
This was a fun thread. It's just missing someone getting personally upset that I didn't like the game and constantly belittling and attacking me for my comments.


Meh, you went at WTB pretty hard in the Mass Effect thread yesterday because you disagreed with his criticism of a game you really enjoyed. I'm not saying it's quite in the same ballpark as what was said to you in the Dark Souls thread but I think it's worth at least acknowledging that everyone (yourself included) feel strongly about games they love.
I was asking for clarification there. I wouldn't throw around personal insults and slurs because someone doesn't enjoy a game.
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