Mince pie review season
hohohoho
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Value should be cost, surely? The value is determined by the cost, when viewed in light of all the other scoring criteria.

I saw two versions of Co-op mince pies in the shop yesterday, I was extremely tempted to buy a box of each but I'm going to hold off for at least another two months.
Grim... wrote:
So we went from 7/10 to 68%.
Thanks for that, Trooper.


Indeed. It's almost as if the original questioning of the 7/10 mark proved to be unfounded.
flis wrote:
Value should be cost, surely? The value is determined by the cost, when viewed in light of all the other scoring criteria.


But that would ruin my easy to remember mnemonic. Pretty Transvestites Fornicate Squelchy Vaginas...

oh... no it wouldn't...
Sainsbury's "Taste the Difference" Brandy Rich Mince Pies

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P : 15 : Pretty nice, if obviously mass produced.
T : 18 : Really really good, even for someone like me who isn't a huge fan of brandy.
F : 18 : Full to the brim
S : 17 : Bit bigger than the usual size, but still small enough to scoff easily
C : 7 : At £2 these are getting towards the Rolls Royce end of the market, even with them on offer. £2.50 normal price!

Total : 75

We have a new leader!
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... on=gallery

Seriously Independent, is this the best you got? A few photos and a couple of lines each.
Christ, those comments are like the appalling captions which are added to photos of "celebs" in Heat magazine and it horrendous ilk.

Edit: And what are the odds that the author got a kick back from Morisons.
Bobbyaro wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
I recall Heston's ones from Waitrose being lovely.

Really? I thought they were terrible, far too much pastry, not enough mince, and they tasted of toilet duck when sprinkled with the pine fresh toilet cleanser.

A trap a number of mince pie makers fall into with their higher quality versions is to use low sugar mince meat which has aged, so is very vinegary. Also Waitrose use far too much pastry.


Had some of these a couple of weeks ago, first one I didn't like but I really liked the 2nd one I ate!

http://www.waitrose.com/shop/ProductVie ... mince+pies
I had some puff pastry mince pie from M&S. Quarter filled mince and they were twice the price of the standard cheap ones. Do not recommend at all. However the standard 1 pound a box version are pretty awesome.
I have recently tried:
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Hestons, but not the vile pine things...
these come with a pack of tangerine flavour icing sugar. Quite generous amounts of it too.

I don't understand the formula, so here are my scores out of 10 (out of 20 is plainly ludicrous):

Mince meat - succulent & rich, just about right! 9/10

Pastry - here's the thing.
It's thick, crunchy, and moist.
It has a lattice top!
It has straight sides!
It's dark brown!
Technically, it is not a traditional mince pie, but...
It tastes incredible! The very pastry has been infused, suffused and possibly confused with spices.
As a mince pie fanatic, I loved them. Mrs Dom hates mince pies. She loved em too: 12/10

Price...
HAHAHAAAA!!!! about a billionty pounds per pie. 1/10 (82.3p each. yeah EACH)

Size & weight..
These things are HEAVY. Like 2 of any 'normal' mince pie.
You could stun a goat at 30 paces with one. Any dwarf baker would be proud.
It makes up for needing a mortgage to buy a pack of 4: 11/10 (80+g each!)

So: 33/40 (82.5%) - feel free to scale to your preferred range

They look wrong, they feel wrong, but they taste so right I expect them to be banned in case they cause the vapours, hysteria, and possibly male menopause.
See, The Independent, that's how you review a mince pie!
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P : 15 : Pretty good, plain but well executed
T : 19 : Gosh, these were lovely, very nice filling and the tiniest of alcoholic fire to them
F : 18 : Packed with filling, not too bad at all.
S : 15 : Good size.
C : 5 : £2.50 for a box, blimey.

Total : 72
Drive by review time, no picture.

Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think..
Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity.

Ummm... 70/100
Trooper wrote:
Drive by review time, no picture.

Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think..
Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity.

Ummm... 70/100


worst review evar!!

Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do
Sponge topped? What fresh hell is this?
Slightly Green wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Drive by review time, no picture.

Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think..
Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity.

Ummm... 70/100


worst review evar!!

Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do


I didn't feel it necessary to go into too much depth, as they aren't really mince pies, they are some sort of pie with mince meat in it, which is vastly different, as i'm sure you'll agree!
Trooper wrote:
Slightly Green wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Drive by review time, no picture.

Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think..
Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity.

Ummm... 70/100


worst review evar!!

Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do


I didn't feel it necessary to go into too much depth, as they aren't really mince pies, they are some sort of pie with mince meat in it, which is vastly different, as i'm sure you'll agree!


I agree to nothing!

And furthermore a so called 'Mince Pie with Sponge' is no Mince Pie in my book!

Would be nice to see your marking scale worked out by someone who isn't clearly insane though.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
:kiss:
Slightly Green wrote:

And furthermore a so called 'Mince Pie with Sponge' is no Mince Pie in my book!



That was entirely my point!

Slightly Green wrote:

Would be nice to see your marking scale worked out by someone who isn't clearly insane though.



No chance of that on this forum.
Tsk, you guys should have just waited for Custom PC's annual Mince Pie Custom Kit Megatest!
Where is the scale! What's the difference between 38% and 40%? What were they rating? Taste, texture, presentation, what?

Amateurs.
Trooper wrote:
Where is the scale! What's the difference between 38% and 40%? What were they rating? Taste, texture, presentation, what?

Amateurs.


They've been doing the mince pie megatest for years man, they're established and trusted professionals in the field of mince pie reviewing.

They clearly explain their mark in the text for each pie.
I had one of those Costco "mince pies" the other day, they are kind of a cross between a bakewell tart and a mince pie, they are nice.
Woolworths mince pies. 4 for $1.85 so that's about 30p a pie.

Attachment:
DSC_0193.JPG


Packaging leaves little to the imagination. Lots of ingredients in there too.

Now the pie.

Pastry, not too thick, not too thin, strong enough to hold the pie together once a bite was taken.

Attachment:
DSC_0195.JPG


Filling, not enough of it as you can see. I would hope a pie would have filling all the way in the middle, not 40% of air in it. Filling tasty enough, just not enough of it.

Value: 10/10 for the price, you cannot complain
Pastry: 7/10 Good quality pastry
Filling: 5/10 whilst delicious, nowhere near enough of it
Overall: I'd give these pies an 8/10. Would buy again.
My colleague removes the lid from the mince pie and asks if anyone is home. Apparently the number of currants stuck to the roof represent the number of people "home". I've never come across this before strange.
Good review Nick!
Ange, your colleague is mental.
Yeah. That's not strange, that's batshit crazy.
Bobbyaro wrote:
Good review Nick!



Useless for any of you lot however, but it was fun eating mince pies.
Eh? Didn't Woolworths go bust three or four years back?
Not in Australia.

Where Nickachu now is.

Living.
Nick's in Australia?
AtrocityExhibition wrote:
Tsk, you guys should have just waited for Custom PC's annual Mince Pie Custom Kit Megatest!

Bought some of the winning Sainsbury's So Organic pies based on this.

They're good, no doubt. There are a few issues, though:

* There's considerable air gap between the mince and the lid - at least 1/3 of the pie's depth.

* Though the ingredients list claims the mince contains brandy, I can't detect even a trace.
Tis the season people!

Current leaderboard

    1. Heston's 4 Spiced Shortcrust mince pies 82/100
    2. Woolworths mince pies 80/100
    3. Sainsbury's "Taste the Difference" Brandy Rich Mince Pies 75/100
    4. Tesco finest deep filled mince pies with courvoisier 72/100
    5. Costco mince pies 70/100
    6. Sainsbury's deep fill mince pie 68/100

Get your reviews in folks, who will take the title this year?
It's SEPTEMBER!!!
Which is the start of mince pie season.
Trooper wrote:
Which is the start of mince pie season.

Fuck OFF.
Have you not seen the shops, mince pies everywhere!
Asda's standard 6 mince pies for a quid:

Attachment:
ImageUploadedByTapatalk1380553806.846598.jpg


The box art is pretty faithful to the pie inside, I'm sure these will be the same as other supermarkets own brand offering but there's not much wrong with them - the right amount of currenty fill, quite sweet. The pastry is pretty decent, not greasy like other value pies, and it responds deliciously well to heat.

75%
Actually, sod it, 78%

#accidentalpartridge
Straight in at number 3! A good showing from ASDA there.
Is it wise to keep last year's list? What if something changes?
So, what's the best type of pastry for a mince pie? Puff or short?
Short, no contest.
Short, always!
Whichever is in front of me.
I'm putting you down as a puff, Dave.
Short.

Heston's are puff pastry, and delicious, but to be honest they're not exactly mince pies.
Spar 6 mince pies for a quid. Vegetarian.

Attachment:
WP_20131107_001.jpg


Pastry: short. rather crumbly and dry. Does not take well to a microwaving, disintegration ensues.

Filling: No air gap but filling is shallow with the lid placed well below the upper edge of the casing, in fact the pies themselves are somewhat stocky. Flavor is lacking, the pies are described as fruity and that is at least accurate, the currants are juicy but there is little in the way of peel. No discernible spice is present which is the real letdown.

Description: The picture on the box shows the pies with a glaze, this is not the case in reality.

In addition it was a struggle to pry the pie from its foil case, resulting in multiple crust fractures and even exposure of the filling in one case. Complete collapse was avoided but only through careful handling.

Overall they are a reasonable but forgetful pie that more or less tastes of textured sugar.

a poor showing getting a score of 7/16ths
Oooh! Lets see what that does to the leaderboard!

    1. Heston's 4 Spiced Shortcrust mince pies 82/100
    2. Woolworths mince pies 80/100
    3. Asda's standard 78/100
    4. Sainsbury's "Taste the Difference" Brandy Rich Mince Pies 75/100
    5. Tesco finest deep filled mince pies with courvoisier 72/100
    6. Costco mince pies 70/100
    7. Sainsbury's deep fill mince pie 68/100
    8. Spar 44/100

Poor showing from Spar there, well down at the bottom of the table, they've got some work to do to avoid relegation.
The judges are coming back to me... hold on...

Krazywookie, can you confirm that it was actually "party time" when you ate the pies?
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