I have recently tried:
Hestons, but not the vile pine things...
these come with a pack of tangerine flavour icing sugar. Quite generous amounts of it too.
I don't understand the formula, so here are my scores out of 10 (out of 20 is plainly ludicrous):
Mince meat - succulent & rich, just about right! 9/10
Pastry - here's the thing.
It's thick, crunchy, and moist.
It has a lattice top!
It has straight sides!
It's dark brown!
Technically, it is not a traditional mince pie, but...
It tastes incredible! The very pastry has been infused, suffused and possibly confused with spices.
As a mince pie fanatic, I loved them. Mrs Dom hates mince pies. She loved em too: 12/10
Price...
HAHAHAAAA!!!! about a billionty pounds per pie. 1/10 (82.3p each. yeah EACH)
Size & weight..
These things are HEAVY. Like 2 of any 'normal' mince pie.
You could stun a goat at 30 paces with one. Any dwarf baker would be proud.
It makes up for needing a mortgage to buy a pack of 4: 11/10 (80+g each!)
So: 33/40 (82.5%) - feel free to scale to your preferred range
They look wrong, they feel wrong, but they taste so right I expect them to be banned in case they cause the vapours, hysteria, and possibly male menopause.