Jem, I'm so sorry. It sounds like you may have already psychologically distanced yourself from her, but the mind is a funny thing and you may find yourself feeling upset when you least expect it.
Either way, if you need anything, you know where we are.
xxx
Either way, if you need anything, you know where we are.
xxx 
Really sorry to hear that Jem.
I'm so sorry to hear that Jem. Grief has a way of biding its time and ambushing sometimes. Thinking of you, and sending hugs.
Kovacs, Zardoz, my sympathies for your losses as well. Hugs to the both of you too.
What a grim week for the Nay! thread.
Kovacs, Zardoz, my sympathies for your losses as well. Hugs to the both of you too.
What a grim week for the Nay! thread.
Thank you all
It's horrible to lose a parent, Jem, my sincere condolences. The death of my Step-Father took a few months to register completely and I'm still trying to recover from it some 12 years later. Don't be afraid to talk to someone if you need to unburden. xx
Sorry to hear that Jem. 
Sorry to hear that, Jem.
Jem wrote:
My mum died yesterday morning after being in and out of hospital lately.
My relationship with my mum has been virtually non-existent in recent years and I kinda feel like I've grieved that loss a hundred times over. I had decided to visit her regardless of the state of things but was an hour too late.
I just feel ... nothing. I have a feeling it'll hit me at the funeral maybe. I don't know. 2020 has been a rollercoaster.
My relationship with my mum has been virtually non-existent in recent years and I kinda feel like I've grieved that loss a hundred times over. I had decided to visit her regardless of the state of things but was an hour too late.
I just feel ... nothing. I have a feeling it'll hit me at the funeral maybe. I don't know. 2020 has been a rollercoaster.
I am so sorry to hear this.
I'm so sorry Jem, hugs
I had a bad relationship with my father and he died so I had my own weird time with that
I had a bad relationship with my father and he died so I had my own weird time with that
I'm really sorry to hear this Jem.
Deepest sympathies.
Really sorry to hear this Jem. Whatever you feel over the coming days, weeks and months, all of those feelings are valid so don’t feel expected to feel a particular way.
Sorry for your loss too, Jem. x
So sorry to hear that Jem,
Pauline had similar experiences when her Dad died (she kicked him out of their family house when she was about 12, and had very little to do with him since then).
I don't think there is a "normal" way to deal with the death of an estranged parent, so just do what feels best.
Pauline had similar experiences when her Dad died (she kicked him out of their family house when she was about 12, and had very little to do with him since then).
I don't think there is a "normal" way to deal with the death of an estranged parent, so just do what feels best.
Sorry to hear of your news, Jem, and may I echo SDG’s words. It sounds an emotionally confusing time. Make time to care for yourself x
Kovakc’s and Zardoz, sorry to hear of your losses and the circumstances in which you found out, Kov.
Kovakc’s and Zardoz, sorry to hear of your losses and the circumstances in which you found out, Kov.
Erk! So sorry to hear your news Jem.
I suspect you may be in shock, and you’re right, if the funeral doesn’t hit home, then it will sometime after. Hope you’ve got some good friends to unload with.
Take care
I suspect you may be in shock, and you’re right, if the funeral doesn’t hit home, then it will sometime after. Hope you’ve got some good friends to unload with.
Take care
Damn. I got them after Christmas Break, don’t wanna go back to work blues.
And I overslept.
And I overslept.
Warhead wrote:
Damn. I got them after Christmas Break, don’t wanna go back to work blues.
I've just come in to a completely deserted Head Office. Gonna be a quiet day for me
I am not back till the 4th 
I shouldn't complain too much, I have a few calls so I won't be sitting in a freezing van all day, unlike my team mate yesterday.
I've just had a filling fall out. That's somewhat annoying.
TheVision wrote:
I've just had a filling fall out. That's somewhat annoying.
That lost filling has turned into a root canal booked in for next Monday. £282.80... Pah.
ooof...
Sorry to hear that. Try to think of it as money to prevent future pain and I hope it all goes well.
Ouch. Dental things are never pleasant, either in your mouth or your pocket. Fingers crossed it's fast, quick, and relatively painless.
My one and only crown fell out ......... last March, I think it was. I know my dentist wasn't open at the time and when they did open later in the year they were only dealing with "emergencies." As I haven't been in any pain and it wasn't visible because it's round the side, I didn't attempt to make an appointment. It's been a bit of a nuisance as there is quite a hole in the root in which detritus tends to get stuck, but I'm able to get it out with a cocktail stick.
Then, a couple of weeks ago I got a text telling me that my dental appointment was confirmed for the following Monday, which was odd because I hadn't made one. As it came at the weekend I couldn't call them until Monday morning.
I called them on Monday morning first thing and they said they were sorry but it was a different Mr Hargreaves. I took the opportunity to ask if I could make an appointment about my crown, so I have an appointment next week I'm on leave. I don't know when I would have got around to dealing with it if they hadn't texted me.
Then, a couple of weeks ago I got a text telling me that my dental appointment was confirmed for the following Monday, which was odd because I hadn't made one. As it came at the weekend I couldn't call them until Monday morning.
I called them on Monday morning first thing and they said they were sorry but it was a different Mr Hargreaves. I took the opportunity to ask if I could make an appointment about my crown, so I have an appointment next week I'm on leave. I don't know when I would have got around to dealing with it if they hadn't texted me.
Ermagerd!!! I'm turning into a zombie or something.
Attachment:
20210221_115727.jpg
ARGH what happened?
By the looks of the photo... HE'S GOING INTO THE MIXED RECYCLING!!!
Grim... wrote:
ARGH what happened?
No specific event that I'm aware of and it's not painful. I've not even been peeping through any keyholes. If I hadn't seen it in the mirror I wouldn't have known anything about it. I assume it'll sort itself out in a couple of weeks.
Warhead wrote:
Grim... wrote:
ARGH what happened?
No specific event that I'm aware of and it's not painful. I've not even been peeping through any keyholes. If I hadn't seen it in the mirror I wouldn't have known anything about it. I assume it'll sort itself out in a couple of weeks.
I didn't even spot that looking on my phone.
Hope it clears up quickly.
Goddess Jasmine wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Grim... wrote:
ARGH what happened?
No specific event that I'm aware of and it's not painful. I've not even been peeping through any keyholes. If I hadn't seen it in the mirror I wouldn't have known anything about it. I assume it'll sort itself out in a couple of weeks.
I didn't even spot that looking on my phone.
Hope it clears up quickly.
I didn’t notice it either. A woman I used to work with had exactly the same once, but it was over the entire white of her eye. It was back to normal about ten days later.
I just assumed that was a photo of you in the waiting room to have your COVID jab or something, didn't even notice your Rage infection.
GazChap wrote:
I just assumed that was a photo of you in the waiting room to have your COVID jab or something, didn't even notice your Rage infection.
Me, what, four by now? At least we know not to assume that video chatting on a Tuesday is a useful extra check on any appearance changes.
JBR wrote:
GazChap wrote:
I just assumed that was a photo of you in the waiting room to have your COVID jab or something, didn't even notice your Rage infection.
Me, what, four by now? At least we know not to assume that video chatting on a Tuesday is a useful extra check on any appearance changes.
Never gets commented on
I should have put the word "useful" in there again. Or "non-derisory".
GazChap wrote:
I just assumed that was a photo of you in the waiting room to have your COVID jab or something, didn't even notice your Rage infection.
I had jab 1 a couple of weeks ago.
I got a new credit card, with 20 months 0% on purchases.
activated it this afternoon, went to buy a TV (got the otp), and it got declined. Apparently it triggered a fraud alert, even though it had the otp....
activated it this afternoon, went to buy a TV (got the otp), and it got declined. Apparently it triggered a fraud alert, even though it had the otp....
Nothing unusual there. It's surprisingly common for people to get a new cc and immediately max it out on impulse purchases, so banks will often ask the shop to call and confirm
DavPaz wrote:
Nothing unusual there. It's surprisingly common for people to get a new cc and immediately max it out on impulse purchases, so banks will often ask the shop to call and confirm
Even though it generates a one time password via a text.
It was curious.
Most of the customers I meet are generally nice people, which makes an occasionally shitty job a bit less shitty.
Then there are the odd few who make on occasionally shitty job even shittier.
In January I overstayed at a customer car park, just long enough to get a PCN. I've had these before at this site, when I should have finished a job well within the limit, but over ran because of complications. If I get a PCN at any of this customer's stores I usually just need to call and ask them to get it cancelled and they are happy to do it because they know I stayed the extra time to fix a troublesome proble!m.
I received a PCN yesterday from a job I did in January. So I called the store to ask them to arrange cancellation. The guy I needed to speak to wasn't on shift so they asked me to call back in the afternoon. I called in the afternoon and the guy was in, but busy, so they took my number and would get him to call me back. I didn't get a call back so I called them again today and got the store manager. He's a miserable scrote at the best of times and always sarcastic in any dealings that we have with him.
I asked him if he could arrange for the PCN to be cancelled and he started a long tirade about being a repeat offender, knowing what the time limit is and making sure that I leave the car park in time, to which I replied that I stayed on site to finish a particular troublesome job. Then he asked if I was on MS Teams and if I could mail the PCN to him but I said that previously the manager had just taken the PCN number, my name and registration number and sent email and got it cancelled. He reluctantly took the details to pass on to the other manager, but it wouldn't surprise me if that note got lost.
I'll just have to wait to see if I get a further PCN for the same event.
Then there are the odd few who make on occasionally shitty job even shittier.
In January I overstayed at a customer car park, just long enough to get a PCN. I've had these before at this site, when I should have finished a job well within the limit, but over ran because of complications. If I get a PCN at any of this customer's stores I usually just need to call and ask them to get it cancelled and they are happy to do it because they know I stayed the extra time to fix a troublesome proble!m.
I received a PCN yesterday from a job I did in January. So I called the store to ask them to arrange cancellation. The guy I needed to speak to wasn't on shift so they asked me to call back in the afternoon. I called in the afternoon and the guy was in, but busy, so they took my number and would get him to call me back. I didn't get a call back so I called them again today and got the store manager. He's a miserable scrote at the best of times and always sarcastic in any dealings that we have with him.
I asked him if he could arrange for the PCN to be cancelled and he started a long tirade about being a repeat offender, knowing what the time limit is and making sure that I leave the car park in time, to which I replied that I stayed on site to finish a particular troublesome job. Then he asked if I was on MS Teams and if I could mail the PCN to him but I said that previously the manager had just taken the PCN number, my name and registration number and sent email and got it cancelled. He reluctantly took the details to pass on to the other manager, but it wouldn't surprise me if that note got lost.
I'll just have to wait to see if I get a further PCN for the same event.
Somehow, my mum and her husband seem to have got themselves into financial shit, despite being a very comfortable position 10 years ago.
It’s all a little vague, but a long series of stupid ideas seems to be part of it.
It’s all a little vague, but a long series of stupid ideas seems to be part of it.
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
Somehow, my mum and her husband seem to have got themselves into financial shit, despite being a very comfortable position 10 years ago.
It’s all a little vague, but a long series of stupid ideas seems to be part of it.
It’s all a little vague, but a long series of stupid ideas seems to be part of it.
Oh dear, hopefully when they can sit down and look at everything, it won't be too difficult to sort out.
Goddess Jasmine wrote:
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
Somehow, my mum and her husband seem to have got themselves into financial shit, despite being a very comfortable position 10 years ago.
It’s all a little vague, but a long series of stupid ideas seems to be part of it.
It’s all a little vague, but a long series of stupid ideas seems to be part of it.
Oh dear, hopefully when they can sit down and look at everything, it won't be too difficult to sort out.
If only. Despite not doing much and him having a reasonable pension, they have burnt through a fairly substantial inheritance, remortgaged the house and now run up an overdraft that's costing £160 a month in interest.
Bogging chuff. That is rough. It sounds like you or they have done the job of accounting for it, which is good. There used to be really helpful people at the Motley Fool dealing with debt forums, nudging people into a realistic accounting for expenditure and income, but they closed and lemonfool.co.uk looks a bit quieter. https://debtcamel.co.uk/ might be another thing to add, if they're in the mood to deal with it.
I think money saving expert has debt advice and the money advice service.
Part of me is quite impressed, have they being living the life of Riley?
Part of me is quite impressed, have they being living the life of Riley?
Goddess Jasmine wrote:
I think money saving expert has debt advice and the money advice service.
Part of me is quite impressed, have they being living the life of Riley?
Part of me is quite impressed, have they being living the life of Riley?
No, which makes it all the more frustrating. They’ve subsidised my brother who has had to move back in with them, and had health problems which has meant they’ve spent money on taxis and other costs, but I genuinely don’t know where it can have all gone.
They’ve got some assets which will allegedly be enough to clear the overdraft when sold but that’s it.
It might be worth doing a full overhaul and going through bank statements.
There may be stuff that can be cancelled or sold if it's no longer needed.
There may be stuff that can be cancelled or sold if it's no longer needed.
Sorry to hear that, Doctor Z. Have you just found this out. I’m sure it’s causing them quite some stress, so I’m glad they’ve told you so that you can put your sensible hat on to advise.