More blandy bland band from Hungary.
Curiosity on keyboards for Hungary there.
I SAW BEWBS!
Austria. It never gets enough crap for it's complicity in the rise of Nazism and the Holocaust...hopefully after this year's Eurovision entry that will all change.
A slightly harder Jedward.
Boo Last song...I demand more Eurovision
The male presenter appears to come off the same autobot production line as George Osbourne.
"Hey Joe, whadya know?"
Dimrill wrote:
Curiosity on keyboards for Hungary there.
This I must see. Every lookalike I get is always a hideously ugly geek.
THERE'S A REASON FOR TH... *dragged away from keyboard*
So they're putting through all the dull songs?
...apart from screechy woman
...apart from screechy woman
Aargh, why do they always put all of the boring songs through? Hungary, for fucks sake! I've heard more interesting Nickleback songs. Gutted for Israel - thought they were very funny.
Also, I really do have a bit of a soft spot for Jedward. I find their funny little jumps endearing. They were very excited when they were put through, weren't they?
Also, I really do have a bit of a soft spot for Jedward. I find their funny little jumps endearing. They were very excited when they were put through, weren't they?
Jedward are in it again?
Ireland basically insuring that they don't have to host it next year.
Yes. This year they're wearing gay Power Rangers spandex armour while being hosed down with water.
I never both with the semi-finals: I like the thrill of being surprised/shocked on the big night itself.
Kern wrote:
I never both with the semi-finals: I like the thrill of being surprised/shocked on the big night itself.
<suspicious>
It's this Saturday night, isn't it? What time is kick off?
I like looking out for the anonymous backing singers on stage. Loads of the acts have them as I think they're allowed a maximum of six people on stage as part of their group.
They stand at the back of the stage, dressed in dark colours and not dancing or moving.
They're kind of creepy!
They stand at the back of the stage, dressed in dark colours and not dancing or moving.
They're kind of creepy!
MaliA wrote:
Kern wrote:
I never both with the semi-finals: I like the thrill of being surprised/shocked on the big night itself.
<suspicious>
A friend of mine always throws fantastic Eurovision parties, but he's away this weekend so it's not happening this year. Shame, as they've always been one of the highlights of the year.
You do it, then.
Grim... wrote:
You do it, then.
Wouldn't be the same.
I've got to go to the wifes cousins 21st birthday party on Saturday, thus missing the song contest.
Gutted.
Gutted.
21st birthday parties are the best kind.
Kern wrote:
Grim... wrote:
You do it, then.
Wouldn't be the same.
We'll get some beers in on Saturday evening and play that music loud. After we dive into Fanny's, natch.
Yay it's back
The Dutch entry is proof that de-criminalising pot is probably not the best idea.
Nice hat though
Nice hat though
And I am here - ready to blog!
Right, big spangly stadium, Serbia opening with woman on her shoulder-guitar, um, violin.
"Kenny G's playing the bassoon!" - Lord Rixondale.
Very slick, but the lead should be wearing a tie. And now he's getting over-excited... wait - Kenny G's switched to a flute!
"This is shit." - Lord Rixondale.
They look scarily focused. I assume the song is about invading ethnic enclaves or something.
AND VIDEO!
Mindless woman wibbling over creamy visuals of sheiks and women, like some Fry's Turkish Delight advert. And here comes Macedonia with... "Black and White". Oddly not a cover of Jackson's opus. More over-wroughtness, soulful singing, dark looks...
And then! Shonky poor camp rock-out! Who's that fool on the drums in the hat? Jimmy Sommerville? And an excruciating guitar solo too!
Nederlands next. We see shots of Baku, a rather fine looking city with wavy buildings. Let's go visit there. No tilt shift photography though. What will they bring?
Right, big spangly stadium, Serbia opening with woman on her shoulder-guitar, um, violin.
"Kenny G's playing the bassoon!" - Lord Rixondale.
Very slick, but the lead should be wearing a tie. And now he's getting over-excited... wait - Kenny G's switched to a flute!
"This is shit." - Lord Rixondale.
They look scarily focused. I assume the song is about invading ethnic enclaves or something.
AND VIDEO!
Mindless woman wibbling over creamy visuals of sheiks and women, like some Fry's Turkish Delight advert. And here comes Macedonia with... "Black and White". Oddly not a cover of Jackson's opus. More over-wroughtness, soulful singing, dark looks...
And then! Shonky poor camp rock-out! Who's that fool on the drums in the hat? Jimmy Sommerville? And an excruciating guitar solo too!
Nederlands next. We see shots of Baku, a rather fine looking city with wavy buildings. Let's go visit there. No tilt shift photography though. What will they bring?
Malta: Crap song but the lads have some cracking footwork on show.
Fantastic winkle picker action from the Malta lads
Fantastic winkle picker action from the Malta lads
Joan Franka I love you. She's wearing an indian headdress and a lovely blue dress and looks completely zoned out, strumming a guitar.
And wow - she's got a band. "Backed by the Wurzles," informs Rixondale. They appear to be segregated from her by fire. Perhaps there'll be human sacrifice. Everyone looks terribly happy. Prozac happy. And then she sings, "Eye," and it crash zooms into her eye. Awesome!
And now they're all together. Lovable.
Rating:
Rixondale: 7/10
Lady R: 5/10
Me: 8/10 - Cos it's lovely.
And wow - she's got a band. "Backed by the Wurzles," informs Rixondale. They appear to be segregated from her by fire. Perhaps there'll be human sacrifice. Everyone looks terribly happy. Prozac happy. And then she sings, "Eye," and it crash zooms into her eye. Awesome!
And now they're all together. Lovable.
Rating:
Rixondale: 7/10
Lady R: 5/10
Me: 8/10 - Cos it's lovely.
Belarus entry sniffs of corruption.
...and made of bland fail...quite like the mad max extra costume choice and tilting action figure action.
Malta wants us to look at him and see that he's here for us. Thanks for that. "All I need is one more chance," and then he leers at us.
Rixondale is excited by his little dancing feet. As well we all are. Incredibly camp backers, obv, and Ikea furniture. He appears to be wearing driving gloves. Once again foolish looking man on mix. With red mohican. He just jumped over someone! He looks like if the ginger baddy from Robocop was kidnapped and turned into a scissor sister.
Synchronised stupid feet dance! This seals the deal, despite awful woman singing.
Rixondale: 8/10 - "For the feet."
Lady R: 8/10
Me: 7/10 - Also for the feet and inappropriate leering.
And more insider political corruption info from Scott Mills regarding Belarus. Ta for that. Horses run about and now for the song.
Belarus's bloke looks... awful. Chainmail shirt. Further gayness. "I can really see why the President of Belarus wanted this in." - Lord Rixondale.
They sing, "We are the heroes, we are the winners." Modest. Oh wait - they're doing amazing leaning backwards - incredbile! And lead bloke did Power Rangers move. Tron background is nice. Three guitars, one drums, and the sound of none of them in generic bippy Europop. Basically it's one long chorus. Bored now. And fireworks.
Lord Rixondale: 5/10
Lady R: 7/10
Me: 4/10
Rixondale is excited by his little dancing feet. As well we all are. Incredibly camp backers, obv, and Ikea furniture. He appears to be wearing driving gloves. Once again foolish looking man on mix. With red mohican. He just jumped over someone! He looks like if the ginger baddy from Robocop was kidnapped and turned into a scissor sister.
Synchronised stupid feet dance! This seals the deal, despite awful woman singing.
Rixondale: 8/10 - "For the feet."
Lady R: 8/10
Me: 7/10 - Also for the feet and inappropriate leering.
And more insider political corruption info from Scott Mills regarding Belarus. Ta for that. Horses run about and now for the song.
Belarus's bloke looks... awful. Chainmail shirt. Further gayness. "I can really see why the President of Belarus wanted this in." - Lord Rixondale.
They sing, "We are the heroes, we are the winners." Modest. Oh wait - they're doing amazing leaning backwards - incredbile! And lead bloke did Power Rangers move. Tron background is nice. Three guitars, one drums, and the sound of none of them in generic bippy Europop. Basically it's one long chorus. Bored now. And fireworks.
Lord Rixondale: 5/10
Lady R: 7/10
Me: 4/10
Vocal harmonies...nice.
Good lord this is terrible.
Ukraine seem to be trying just a bit too hard, shame as the intro was excellent, then the eurodance drums ruined it.
The Portugese entry was lovely.
The Portugese entry was lovely.
Now for Portugal and Phillipa Sousa. More warbling. They look awfully pleased with themselves. Nothing to really say about this yet, so we talk about how Sarah Cox went to school with one of Rixondale's friends. Apparently she was very pretty. Nope absolutely undistinguished. They even walk slow. By the way, doesn't it look to everyone else that the stage is one giant oven grill?
Lord Rixondale: 1/10 - "And that's only because with the slit in her dress you can see a surprising amount."
Lady R: 3/10
Me: 1/10
Arm-wrestling! Disappointingly not with Chas and Dave. And now for everyone's corrupt favourite, Ukraine.
'Be My Guest', looks like they're reaching for the gay anthem. Eurovision tradition, absolutely terrible lyrics. "Do you think she owns a hotel and invites everyione this way?" - Lord Rixondale.
"Be my friend," she asks, in a very needy way. And now the flouncy men are doing the sort of dancing we all applauded in the Gay Exchange adverts. It's all very cheery and completely irrational. And a gloriously lame computer generated dancy people backdrop. They do seem happy. "You've got to give props to the guys in the dress," - Lord rixondale.
Lord R: 6/10
Lady R: 6/10
Me: 6/10
Lord Rixondale: 1/10 - "And that's only because with the slit in her dress you can see a surprising amount."
Lady R: 3/10
Me: 1/10
Arm-wrestling! Disappointingly not with Chas and Dave. And now for everyone's corrupt favourite, Ukraine.
'Be My Guest', looks like they're reaching for the gay anthem. Eurovision tradition, absolutely terrible lyrics. "Do you think she owns a hotel and invites everyione this way?" - Lord Rixondale.
"Be my friend," she asks, in a very needy way. And now the flouncy men are doing the sort of dancing we all applauded in the Gay Exchange adverts. It's all very cheery and completely irrational. And a gloriously lame computer generated dancy people backdrop. They do seem happy. "You've got to give props to the guys in the dress," - Lord rixondale.
Lord R: 6/10
Lady R: 6/10
Me: 6/10
The Pete - Rixondale axis is completely wrong about Portugal.
Bulgaria is appalling as usual. Not sure if I had her thighs I'd wear that dress.
Bulgaria is appalling as usual. Not sure if I had her thighs I'd wear that dress.
Bulgaria!
She's scaring me.
Lady R: "She IS like an older ugly Cardassian!" (I think that's what she said.)
Lord Rixondale: "She's a robot!"
Ahh! Too much flashing. Frankly terrible, although oddly compelling because of its entusiastic wrongness. What's wrong with the Wonder Woman girdle? "And wristbands!" - Lord R.
Catherine wheels fail to add value for money. And a lame "I love you so much," from scary robo woman. Too late.
Lord R: 5
Lady R: 3
Me: 4
She's scaring me.
Lady R: "She IS like an older ugly Cardassian!" (I think that's what she said.)
Lord Rixondale: "She's a robot!"
Ahh! Too much flashing. Frankly terrible, although oddly compelling because of its entusiastic wrongness. What's wrong with the Wonder Woman girdle? "And wristbands!" - Lord R.
Catherine wheels fail to add value for money. And a lame "I love you so much," from scary robo woman. Too late.
Lord R: 5
Lady R: 3
Me: 4
Gianna Michaels for Slovenia is hawt. Quite a decent song too.
Slovenia. "I Believe," an appropriately generic title. Lady Galadriel informs the backing dress sense. "So far, so Lord of the Rings." - Lord Rixondale. "Well, it's worthy," sighs Lord R.
We all agree that she is pretty. "She has a whimsical fey look about her."
"AH AAAAAH AAAAAAAAAH AAAH AAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" And then Galadriel strokes her shoulder. Disappointingly not quite in a lesbian way.
It's a bit ayran. "Domineering sexy woman!" cries the Lord. I concur. They stride masterfully. Song largely forgettable.
Lord R: 6/10 - "And one point of that for backing singer cleavage."
Lady R: 6/10
Me: 7/10
We reckon it's a contender.
We all agree that she is pretty. "She has a whimsical fey look about her."
"AH AAAAAH AAAAAAAAAH AAAH AAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" And then Galadriel strokes her shoulder. Disappointingly not quite in a lesbian way.
It's a bit ayran. "Domineering sexy woman!" cries the Lord. I concur. They stride masterfully. Song largely forgettable.
Lord R: 6/10 - "And one point of that for backing singer cleavage."
Lady R: 6/10
Me: 7/10
We reckon it's a contender.
Didn't quite know what to make of the Slovenia one...might be a grower...but the they were very nice looking ladies.
The Croatian male dancers are not improving the song...but have good 'duvet' technique
The Croatian male dancers are not improving the song...but have good 'duvet' technique
Sweden. Whmoaning Celine Deon style vocals, average song, euro beats. Yes, this is blaverage enough to win.
The only thing I like about the Swedish entry was that the dancer she had with her was carrying a few extra pounds
Croatia.
"Why are there three mannequins standing about?" - Lord Rixondale. Men prance about ginger haired. "When you see dancers like that you wonder what message they actually believe they're trying to convey." "Man's inhumanity to man," I offer. I don't reckon dancers work when they have stupid manchild haircuts either. Why do they lightning when the song is completely unrock?
We agree it's boring. Lady R can scarce summon attention to the screen, scratching the dog instead. Yawners.
Lord R: 3/10
Lady R: 3/10
Me: 3/10
Fancy glowing gas stations in the video thing. Once again they warn us as to the upcoming strobes. And shit! There's loads of them.
Sweden. And she's a brunette! This could hopefully escalate to ludicrous 80's power-ballard Bonnie Tyler style. Her dancing's terrible. Excellent. She dances like William Shatner talks.
"This sounds like Ibiza Hits 2000." - Lord Rixondale.
And frankly those strobe lights are annoying. And to signify Ikea's contribution to Sweden's economy, polystyrene packing materials fall from the sky. Oh wait - someone's turned up! He's a terrible dancer too. For a moment I thought he was accidently going to kick her head off. But she has revenge - and jumps on him and flattens the bugger with her thighs. Like Street Fighter 2!
"Why are there three mannequins standing about?" - Lord Rixondale. Men prance about ginger haired. "When you see dancers like that you wonder what message they actually believe they're trying to convey." "Man's inhumanity to man," I offer. I don't reckon dancers work when they have stupid manchild haircuts either. Why do they lightning when the song is completely unrock?
We agree it's boring. Lady R can scarce summon attention to the screen, scratching the dog instead. Yawners.
Lord R: 3/10
Lady R: 3/10
Me: 3/10
Fancy glowing gas stations in the video thing. Once again they warn us as to the upcoming strobes. And shit! There's loads of them.
Sweden. And she's a brunette! This could hopefully escalate to ludicrous 80's power-ballard Bonnie Tyler style. Her dancing's terrible. Excellent. She dances like William Shatner talks.
"This sounds like Ibiza Hits 2000." - Lord Rixondale.
And frankly those strobe lights are annoying. And to signify Ikea's contribution to Sweden's economy, polystyrene packing materials fall from the sky. Oh wait - someone's turned up! He's a terrible dancer too. For a moment I thought he was accidently going to kick her head off. But she has revenge - and jumps on him and flattens the bugger with her thighs. Like Street Fighter 2!
Oh my christ below...
There is something wonderfully 'Tony Fereno' about Georiga's entry.
"I'm a joker
I'm a Rocker"
"I'm a joker
I'm a Rocker"
This is the most godawful thing I've seen and heard this year.
Georgia!
And the sinister Red Monk is here to sacrifice the virgins in the audience. Lady R reckons he's going to rip his robe off to reveal gold lame pants. Wait, what's this? Burlesque flight attendants? Off with robe to reveal stupid blonde hair camp man?
Crap bongo solo! AWESOME!
And the white Grace Jones with a red ponytail. "Wooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Shake your body up! Get for the dance honey! YEAH!"
And now he;s playing piano, and to celebrate bellowing "YEAAAAAAAAAH! BABY!"
"Well, you've got to admire they're spirit." Lord R.
"Well, they're only getting five from me." Lady R.
"What? WHY?" Lord R.
"Well the girls can't fucking dance." Lady R.
Lord R: 8/10
Lady R: 6/10 (Begrudgingly)
Me: 8/10
And the sinister Red Monk is here to sacrifice the virgins in the audience. Lady R reckons he's going to rip his robe off to reveal gold lame pants. Wait, what's this? Burlesque flight attendants? Off with robe to reveal stupid blonde hair camp man?
Crap bongo solo! AWESOME!
And the white Grace Jones with a red ponytail. "Wooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Shake your body up! Get for the dance honey! YEAH!"
And now he;s playing piano, and to celebrate bellowing "YEAAAAAAAAAH! BABY!"
"Well, you've got to admire they're spirit." Lord R.
"Well, they're only getting five from me." Lady R.
"What? WHY?" Lord R.
"Well the girls can't fucking dance." Lady R.
Lord R: 8/10
Lady R: 6/10 (Begrudgingly)
Me: 8/10
Sorry but that was my favourite so far, won't beat the Russians though.
What's this capes?
...oh and jumping from the Turks.
What's this capes?
...oh and jumping from the Turks.