Royal Mail/courier company moany moany thread
every forum's gotta have one
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Do we have a case for finding him and punching him in the back of the head for being a pain?
Yes, Squirt. I can cite the case law on that, too.

Common Sense v. Lazy Good For Nothing Fuckers Who As Well As Thinking It's Their God-Given Right To Be Lazy And Incompetent Believe They Should Be Striking About Keeping Their Out Of Date Skiving-Off Perks [1856] 2 All ER 256
Mr Chris wrote:
Yes, Squirt. I can cite the case law on that, too.

Common Sense v. Lazy Good For Nothing Fuckers Who As Well As Being Lazy And Incompetent Believe They Should Be Striking About Keeping Their Out Of Date Perks [1856] 2 All ER 256
9.7/10.
Nooooooo! >:(

Email wrote:
We are pleased to inform you that your order has now been despatched. Your consignment number is <removed> and your parcel can be tracked via the City Link website


Also:

City Link wrote:
These goods have been scanned at the collection branch and are now on route to the delivery branch.


On route?
Ah. Well you didn't really want it that urgently did you?
Mr Russ wrote:
Ah. Well you didn't really want it that urgently did you?


Not particularly, but I did want it!
Uh-oh... Citylink?

Did the goods arrive, or do you have any clue of where they might be?
Mimi wrote:
Uh-oh... Citylink?

Did the goods arrive, or do you have any clue of where they might be?


The goods have been loaded onto a van, apparently. But I'm at work, anyway, so unless someone at home takes delivery*, it's all irrelevant.

If it does get delivered, I'll more than likely get another "What the fuck is this massive parcel?" phone call again. I really punish these delivery companies.


*if City Link even bother trying, natch**.

**haven't used that word in a while. Seems more of a WoS thing now.
It is, so passe... :p
Mimi wrote:
It is, so passe... :p


Hm. I was never one to keep up with any times.
Holy shit, it has been delivered.
nynfortoo wrote:
Holy shit has been delivered.


From a sacred cow FTFY

Malc
I ordered something from the website dealtastic. They use a courier called Hermes (Fry and Leela obviously on holiday). It would apear they have a perfect scam set up, DT state, we can take up to 20 days to deleiver, do not contact us until that time has ended. Hermes state, if you don't answer, we keep your stuff.
I have a tracking number, and allegedly, there has been two attempted deliveries, neither time has a card been left. (Also, it is easily small enough to fit through the letter box).
Now, I tired to contact Hermes through their website, guess what? They won't talk to me, as it is nothing to do with them, and I have to contact the people who posted the parcel. WTF? Basically, they can just steal my stuff!

I ordered through Paypal, so am considering just trying to claim the money back through them.

Anyone used, or even heard of Hermes before?
They can't just steal what belongs to you... that's illegal surely?
Bobbyaro wrote:
I ordered something from the website dealtastic. They use a courier called Hermes (Fry and Leela obviously on holiday). It would apear they have a perfect scam set up, DT state, we can take up to 20 days to deleiver, do not contact us until that time has ended. Hermes state, if you don't answer, we keep your stuff.
I have a tracking number, and allegedly, there has been two attempted deliveries, neither time has a card been left. (Also, it is easily small enough to fit through the letter box).
Now, I tired to contact Hermes through their website, guess what? They won't talk to me, as it is nothing to do with them, and I have to contact the people who posted the parcel. WTF? Basically, they can just steal my stuff!

I ordered through Paypal, so am considering just trying to claim the money back through them.

Anyone used, or even heard of Hermes before?


We get stuff delivered from Hermes when we order from next. They aren't too bad. Certainly no hdnl/yodel anyway in my experience.
Well, I take it back, they deliver on Saturdays. However, the courier did say, this was my last chance. At nio point did he leave a contact card through my letterbox.
I mentioned in B&B that I needed the ice age dvds for today, well I hear the letterbox go think "shit, not here" go downstairs to see and red redelivery card by the door, dogs didn't bark so no knock was made. Fucking Saturday postman strikes again. Also I swear royal mail used to redeliver on a Monday if you missed on Saturday - not any more. >:(
Delivery from a fun new courier company today, DPD (who are apparently part of La Poste). Apparently lobbing a box quite clearly labelled fragile over the side gate in the pouring rain is "Leaving your parcel in a secure place - your rear porch".
Craster wrote:
Delivery from a fun new courier company today, DPD

We use them. They are pretty shocking.
Craster wrote:
Delivery from a fun new courier company today, DPD (who are apparently part of La Poste). Apparently lobbing a box quite clearly labelled fragile over the side gate in the pouring rain is "Leaving your parcel in a secure place - your rear porch".


A few months ago, a postie left one of my parcels in next door's empty wheelie bin, presumably because it was pissing down and he couldn't be arsed knocking (I was in). I had to tip the bin upside down to get at it, as it was layed flat at the bottom, and I was rewarded with a handful of black sludge. >:|
Huh. I like DPD, but I get stuff delivered to work I suppose.

We ordered raspberry canes from Suttons. They eventually turned up... at Hel's old house, during its clean-out for her ex selling it. Apparently if you order online from them after moving, the system fucks up and uses the original address (despite the invoice and everything having the correct one). They know about it, but seemingly can't be bothered fixing it.

Of course, if Yodel hadn't just dumped the box in the alley down the side of the house it might have become apparent earlier.

Amazon use HDNL for most stuff for us now, because of Prime, and those bastards leave stuff with a neighbour... without carding us. Every single bloody time. So the neighbours wait for us to come and pick stuff up... and we don't, because we don't know it's been delivered, or where. But usually stuff gets delivered to work where it's not a problem, so Prime's still worth it.
BikNorton wrote:
Huh. I like DPD, but I get stuff delivered to work I suppose.

You're not looking at it from a client point of view. They are terrible.
I sent an iMac off for repair last week and it was picked up by the fattest man I have ever met in an APC Overnight van. I asked for a receipt and he said "Nah, mate. We don't do paperwork". Bit nervewracking that, but thankfully Apple acknowledged delivery the next day.
YOG wrote:
Craster wrote:
Delivery from a fun new courier company today, DPD (who are apparently part of La Poste). Apparently lobbing a box quite clearly labelled fragile over the side gate in the pouring rain is "Leaving your parcel in a secure place - your rear porch".


A few months ago, a postie left one of my parcels in next door's empty wheelie bin, presumably because it was pissing down and he couldn't be arsed knocking (I was in). I had to tip the bin upside down to get at it, as it was layed flat at the bottom, and I was rewarded with a handful of black sludge. >:|


At least you got your black sludge in the end.
myps pies wrote:
BikNorton wrote:
Huh. I like DPD, but I get stuff delivered to work I suppose.
You're not looking at it from a client point of view. They are terrible.
What? Yes I am! Stuff for me, delivered to work instead of home. I like that they email an hour in which the parcel will be delivered, that they haven't missed yet.

I'll be more concerned about having stuff delivered to home by them now.
DavPaz wrote:
the fattest man I have ever met in an APC Overnight van.
Meet lots of fat men in APC overnight vans, do we?
BikNorton wrote:
myps pies wrote:
BikNorton wrote:
Huh. I like DPD, but I get stuff delivered to work I suppose.
You're not looking at it from a client point of view. They are terrible.
What? Yes I am! Stuff for me, delivered to work instead of home. I like that they email an hour in which the parcel will be delivered, that they haven't missed yet.

I'll be more concerned about having stuff delivered to home by them now.

You're not sending stuff out then? Because that's who the couriers have their contract with.
BikNorton wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
the fattest man I have ever met in an APC Overnight van.
Meet lots of fat men in APC overnight vans, do we?

More than I'd like to admit to.
As we don't have a 'courier praise' thread I'll stick this here. Ordered a new phone yesterday and tracked it via the DHL website up to the expected point of delivery failure because I'm at work rather than at home. Fearing the usual nonsense, and having already worked out a train + taxi route to their nearest depot, I phoned them up to check my options. It turns out that DHL have contracts with what they call Service Points; which are other businesses like Homebase stores, WH Smiths and, most bizarrely, local newagents. If your delivery fails you just nominate any one of these service points and they'll redeliver there the next day. They'll even send you a text/email to let you know when your package has arrived and ready for pick-up. So rather than fucking around with taxis in Paisley I just walk from my work up to a Trongate newsagent (which is open until 11 at night!) and get my phone. Also, when I phoned DHL up to sort all this, I was through to an incredibly cheerful, helpful, English-speaking Real Life Human Being within two minutes of dialing the number. Holy shit.
Typing that up reminded me of Amazon's alleged plans which I hope they do as it would make my life significantly easier when it comes to online shopping.
Digital lockers would be unnecessary if the pub delivery network actually gained traction.
Bamba wrote:
Typing that up reminded me of Amazon's alleged plans which I hope they do as it would make my life significantly easier when it comes to online shopping.


That would be awesome :)
Bamba wrote:
Typing that up reminded me of Amazon's alleged plans which I hope they do as it would make my life significantly easier when it comes to online shopping.


Already done - there's one in the Glades shopping centre in Bromley.
Rudolph's Dick wrote:
Digital lockers would be unnecessary if the pub delivery network actually gained traction.


I just had a look at that and it does seem like an awesome idea. Reading the process on the site it sounds a bit complicated as it adds a secod tracking number to the equation but it's probably pretty straightforward in practise. Without any pubs seemingly actually willing to accept parcels though it's a bit theoretical at the moment.
Orange are sending me a new phone. I got a phonecall to my fortunately still working mobile, it was the courier phoning from the depot, asking if I was in, as they were sorry but the sender insists it's signed for. That's a first! He then offered to leave it at the local pub (which he knew the name of), if I thought it would be open at 11AM on a Monday. I suggested it probably wasn't, but thanks for offering. Getting it redelivered on Friday instead, and I'll be interested to find out which company it is.

I have also had good results from DHL Bamba, I mainly use them for sending stuff now.
Bamba wrote:
Without any pubs it's a bit theoretical at the moment.

South Liverpool Feex
DavPaz wrote:
Bamba wrote:
Without any pubs it's a bit theoretical at the moment.

South Liverpool Feex


Fair enough; I only looked at Glasgow and then, as a quick sanity check, London and got nothing. My testing process was less than comprehensive there admittedly. :D
myps pies wrote:
BikNorton wrote:
Huh. I like DPD, but I get stuff delivered to work I suppose.

You're not looking at it from a client point of view. They are terrible.

Looking at it from a client point of view, we ship ~25 boxes per day with them on average and have done since I started there 3 1/2 years ago, and problems have been few and far between. Sure, the odd one is delayed a day because it wanders off to the wrong depot, and there was the curious case recently of them repeatedly trying to deliver to one customer at 8pm on a business service... but there have been extremely few breakages and nothing has ever been lost, so looks like it's a "your mileage may vary" thing :shrug:
DavPaz wrote:
I sent an iMac off for repair last week and it was picked up by the fattest man I have ever met in an APC Overweight van.


Ohoho etc.
The Albinoel Kid wrote:
myps pies wrote:
BikNorton wrote:
Huh. I like DPD, but I get stuff delivered to work I suppose.

You're not looking at it from a client point of view. They are terrible.

Looking at it from a client point of view, we ship ~25 boxes per day with them on average and have done since I started there 3 1/2 years ago, and problems have been few and far between. Sure, the odd one is delayed a day because it wanders off to the wrong depot, and there was the curious case recently of them repeatedly trying to deliver to one customer at 8pm on a business service... but there have been extremely few breakages and nothing has ever been lost, so looks like it's a "your mileage may vary" thing :shrug:

When things go wrong it's almost impossible to get through to their customer services to get it resolved. If the end user isn't in to sign for it, they're meant to retry once more the next day and then consign it back to us immediately. At the moment we're struggling to get stuff back within three weeks, and no one answers our emails.

They're terrible and we're about ready to bin them off.
Oh, you're right; I was confused. Carry on.
Mohhhhhh. Yodel threatens Twitter to remove negative tweets.
Yodel are hopeless cunts. It's not libellous if it's true, is it?
They are terrible. The only courier service who refuse to leave parcels with a neighbour, which is compounded by their depot being on the other side of Nottingham - not easy to get to on public transport.

Of course, you can't ring the depot directly either, it's a shitty call-centre number. Awful.
And they delivered my fucking touchpad to a non existent address.
I watched the postman try to deliver a parcel to one of the new houses they have built on my street last weekend.

The couple who have moved in have a young kid and the house had balloons all over it, so it was clear there was a kid’s party on. I went over and said I would talk the parcel and offered my driving license up as proof of ID, He just mumbled no and fucked off.

A few minutes later the guy who owns the house came back and I told him what had happened and he caught up with the postman.

A few weeks before something turned up for the previous owners and the postman just left it on the path at the side of my house!

I’m lucky in that I seldom have anything sent home these days, it all comes to work where the Postroom sorts it out.

Next delivery fun for me will be the Raspberry PI that they insist must be delivered to my house, and then I will benefit from the super flexibility of my local collection office that manages to stay open 4 hours a day Mon-Fri.

The service is not good, despite the fact they got a huge increase in the price of stamps I don’t see post until mid afternoon, its recently got later as well. If you send anything valuable and don’t opt for the £500 insurance then you stand a good chance it will go missing.

They should privatize it to get rid of the out of date working practices, but there needs to be a service for the remote areas that don’t make a lot of money, this will be the problem with privatization.
Trooper wrote:
Yodel are hopeless cunts. It's not libellous if it's true, is it?



:this:

They sat on some Amazon Christmas stuff for 10 days last year. The sort of stuff that’s a pain in the arse to find in shops, that’s why you use Amazon.

They just told me they had no idea when it was going to be delivered, so I cancelled and got my money back from Amazon, and then the stuff turned up after Christmas.

They delivered something to me at home and sent it with a couple of tramps who had bought a van for £300. They were a pair of lying fuckers as well, claiming they had tried to deliver 3 times before. I had been off work for the whole week and there was no delivery card ever left.

Worse shower of shit delivery company there is.
asfish wrote:
I watched the postman try to deliver a parcel to one of the new houses they have built on my street last weekend.

The couple who have moved in have a young kid and the house had balloons all over it, so it was clear there was a kid’s party on. I went over and said I would talk the parcel and offered my driving license up as proof of ID, He just mumbled no and fucked off.


Quite right! I'd be well pissed if a delivery driver handed over a parcel to a random Joe who wandered up and said he'd take it!

Quote:
They should privatize it to get rid of the out of date working practices, but there needs to be a service for the remote areas that don’t make a lot of money, this will be the problem with privatization.


Royal Mail is privatised. They are, however, obligated by the regulator to provide a delivery service to all addresses in the UK.
I'm not a fan of this new 'Neighbour delivery' plan. Moreso, because if you don't want stuff left with your neighbour, they will give you a big sticker to put on your door to say so.

I don't want my stuff delivered to my, quite frankly, disturbing neighbour. I want a big sign on my door which says this, that he can see, even less.
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