KovacsC wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Mind to contain the mint otherwise you’ll have an entire mint garden by this time next year.
It sounds like you have Sunday dinner sorted, plus a nice soup starter.
It sounds like you have Sunday dinner sorted, plus a nice soup starter.
How do you contain mint? Electric fences!!
Yep
Don’t be embarrassed, Bik (I don’t understand the seat of your embarrassment, mind. If it’s important to you and you love your space, rejoice in it), it’s lovely to see the pictures.
We’ve got my in-laws coming over in a fortnight, weather depending, and I’m really nervous about criticism and judgement (past experiences playing a massive hand here), and I know I’m going to work too hard trying to get as close to spec as possible, so I’m worried that this will steal the joy away from this space for me. It’s on my mind a lot.
We’ve got my in-laws coming over in a fortnight, weather depending, and I’m really nervous about criticism and judgement (past experiences playing a massive hand here), and I know I’m going to work too hard trying to get as close to spec as possible, so I’m worried that this will steal the joy away from this space for me. It’s on my mind a lot.
I spent 2 days this weekend chopping bits in the garden and it was somewhat rewarding as it has re-opened some spaces but also it's hard work.
One part was really overgrown and it felt a bit like exploring a jungle. I found a couple of fairly big holes covered by much and leaves, so something is probably living down there, and I also found a dead mouse stuck up in one of the palm trees
At the moment I am also finding gardening a bit frustrating as it seems like I'm just 'keeping on top' of things (or even catching up) rather than actually getting ahead and changing anything. I also realise that I need to spend yet more money on more new tools - I need a pole trimmer to get to some very high branches and hedges.
Isn't it amazing how much green waste can come from just one corner of the garden. I now have LOADS of stuff to try and get rid of
I think I know what you mean. I worry about sounding like a braggart when really I'm just excited/proud/happy/fortunate
But really - good for you in achieving something that you both wanted
One part was really overgrown and it felt a bit like exploring a jungle. I found a couple of fairly big holes covered by much and leaves, so something is probably living down there, and I also found a dead mouse stuck up in one of the palm trees
At the moment I am also finding gardening a bit frustrating as it seems like I'm just 'keeping on top' of things (or even catching up) rather than actually getting ahead and changing anything. I also realise that I need to spend yet more money on more new tools - I need a pole trimmer to get to some very high branches and hedges.
Isn't it amazing how much green waste can come from just one corner of the garden. I now have LOADS of stuff to try and get rid of
Quote:
I'm always embarrassed to say (but I'm drunk and a load of meat is just about cooked so I'm excited), but land was what we wanted when we moved to the Midlands so we focused on it, there's about half an acre
I think I know what you mean. I worry about sounding like a braggart when really I'm just excited/proud/happy/fortunate
But really - good for you in achieving something that you both wanted
Sir Taxalot wrote:
I think I know what you mean. I worry about sounding like a braggart when really I'm just excited/proud/happy/fortunate
Neither of you should feel worried/embarrassed about coming across as braggarts. I’m going to say this as someone who likely grew up in absolute poverty with probably less than anyone or the vast majority of people here and who has been homeless as an adult: I have never, ever tired of seeing beautiful things and happy people achieving and having wonderful things. It does not come across as bragging, it comes across as happiness.
Honestly, you get to a point where things are so far ‘beyond’ your personal reality that it’s a different thing all together. When we were in a flat we really wanted a garden. We would never dream of having acres of land, so that wasn’t even in our heads to be envious of, but we also weren’t begrudging of people with a garden, big or small.
Please show your spaces and your enjoyment of them, because it’s fun, and so nice to see people excited and happy x
@sir Taxalot exactly that!
@mimi I'll try to stop feeling embarrassed. It's pretty deeply engrained but I'm not sure where from...
@mimi I'll try to stop feeling embarrassed. It's pretty deeply engrained but I'm not sure where from...
Quote:
At the moment I am also finding gardening a bit frustrating as it seems like I'm just 'keeping on top' of things (or even catching up) rather than actually getting ahead and changing anything. I also realise that I need to spend yet more money on more new tools - I need a pole trimmer to get to some very high branches and hedges.
this is our last 4 years. We've made some changes but are, overall, significantly behind where we took over. Even with all the power tools including a pole trimmer (and pole chainsaw!)... 
I have stuff growing.
The spuds are taking over
The spuds are taking over
I've got spuds taking over and I've not even planted any this year...
Is your shed felt kept in place with scarab beetles?
You should paint the shed pink!
Jem wrote:
I've got spuds taking over and I've not even planted any this year...
Everyone else read that in a "You're The One That I Want" style, right?
Zardoz wrote:
Is your shed felt kept in place with scarab beetles?
I am going to replace the shed. I think it is beyond saving.
KovacsC wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Is your shed felt kept in place with scarab beetles?
I am going to replace the shed. I think it is beyond saving.
Depending what n the size you need, ours might be of interest - we’re looking to get a bigger one, be a shame to scrap the old one.
Mimi wrote:
Don’t be embarrassed, Bik (I don’t understand the seat of your embarrassment, mind. If it’s important to you and you love your space, rejoice in it), it’s lovely to see the pictures.
We’ve got my in-laws coming over in a fortnight, weather depending, and I’m really nervous about criticism and judgement (past experiences playing a massive hand here), and I know I’m going to work too hard trying to get as close to spec as possible, so I’m worried that this will steal the joy away from this space for me. It’s on my mind a lot.
We’ve got my in-laws coming over in a fortnight, weather depending, and I’m really nervous about criticism and judgement (past experiences playing a massive hand here), and I know I’m going to work too hard trying to get as close to spec as possible, so I’m worried that this will steal the joy away from this space for me. It’s on my mind a lot.
If they always have a dig at you (pun intended) then it’s them that have a problem. I know you can’t easily just ignore it, our next door neighbour, Cynthia, has exactly the same problem with her mother-in-law, and it’s entirely unjustified. No matter how well she prepares for a visit, the woman will find something to comment on, like not having napkin rings on the dinner table, ffs. And she ALWAYS makes some comment about how she’s raising her kids. It may only be one thing that she picks on during a visit, but Cynthia always takes it to heart. Every time her M-I-L is coming, she tells us that she’s going to let any comment just pass by, but it’s not easy, even with support from her husband, the rest of her family and us.
You’ve done wonders with you garden. WE all know that, and we’ll still be here being positive after your visitors have gone. I hope that’s some comfort.
Warhead, that was the loveliest and kindest thing to say, thank you. It really helped this morning. I had a bad dream last night, which I told to Russell this morning, about a meeting with the in-laws, which I think has been prompted by the upcoming visit.
To be fair they’ve been a bit better on the last couple of visits, but many years of criticising our home, parenting and *especially* Russell and his choices/personality/existence have just made it a huge anxiety pinch point for me, so with a new house and garden and a whole new range of things to find fault with, it’s a feeling I have looming over me.
Russell, with help from my ma’s husband who drove up for the day to help, has been clearing a large area at the back that had been used as a dumping area. A piano frame, fireplace, swing set, huge tree, etc had all been dumped there along with loads of other stuff. Ma and Jon, her husband, are coming back up this weekend to help again and I feel a huge pressure to get that finished for when my in laws visit. I’ve got a short picket fence to delineate that area, where I want to have a wildflower meadow for bees, etc, and I’m painting lengths of it every day just desperately trying to get it done. It’s so tricky and finnicky to paint between all of those slats, too, and now I’m sort of hate-painting because, really, I want to take my time.
Anyway, we’ll get there. I’ve just got to remember that we’re supposed to be doing this for us, nobody else.
I have all my responses planned out in my head. I know I won’t use any of them.
To be fair they’ve been a bit better on the last couple of visits, but many years of criticising our home, parenting and *especially* Russell and his choices/personality/existence have just made it a huge anxiety pinch point for me, so with a new house and garden and a whole new range of things to find fault with, it’s a feeling I have looming over me.
Russell, with help from my ma’s husband who drove up for the day to help, has been clearing a large area at the back that had been used as a dumping area. A piano frame, fireplace, swing set, huge tree, etc had all been dumped there along with loads of other stuff. Ma and Jon, her husband, are coming back up this weekend to help again and I feel a huge pressure to get that finished for when my in laws visit. I’ve got a short picket fence to delineate that area, where I want to have a wildflower meadow for bees, etc, and I’m painting lengths of it every day just desperately trying to get it done. It’s so tricky and finnicky to paint between all of those slats, too, and now I’m sort of hate-painting because, really, I want to take my time.
Anyway, we’ll get there. I’ve just got to remember that we’re supposed to be doing this for us, nobody else.
I have all my responses planned out in my head. I know I won’t use any of them.
I would have said you could use the age old "If you're offering to help, then we could really use it!" thing, that usually shuts people up.
But they may be the sort of people that would willingly dive in and help, only to then mould everything into what *they* want rather than what *you* want.
But they may be the sort of people that would willingly dive in and help, only to then mould everything into what *they* want rather than what *you* want.
They are not the kind of people to offer help. Or never have been, anyway. I think even responding with something to that effect would be met with ‘well it’s not for us to do! You ought to get on and *opinions go here*.
I remember when Darwin was a really small baby being lectured on a walk to the park about how much better Russell’s brother would raise his own kid if he had one (he didn’t have any) because he wouldn’t stand any nonsense and make it quite clear from the beginning that he snd his partner were in charge snd that the baby would fit around their lifestyle and not be a barrier. Darwin was a really easy going baby, and really happy, and even when there is nothing to find fault in it has often been the case that you have it drilled into how others would do it better, be better, that because you were caring for your baby someone else would be better at it by way of their less gentle approach. So, even if I worked flat out every day at the garden , it would still be wrong, compared to something that didn’t even exist.
I remember when Darwin was a really small baby being lectured on a walk to the park about how much better Russell’s brother would raise his own kid if he had one (he didn’t have any) because he wouldn’t stand any nonsense and make it quite clear from the beginning that he snd his partner were in charge snd that the baby would fit around their lifestyle and not be a barrier. Darwin was a really easy going baby, and really happy, and even when there is nothing to find fault in it has often been the case that you have it drilled into how others would do it better, be better, that because you were caring for your baby someone else would be better at it by way of their less gentle approach. So, even if I worked flat out every day at the garden , it would still be wrong, compared to something that didn’t even exist.
I'd hit them with "This is my fucking house, my fucking garden and my fucking life. Shut up or fuck off"
But I feel I'm a bit more confrontational than you are, Meems
But I feel I'm a bit more confrontational than you are, Meems
Russell and I are both very non-confrontational, which doesn’t help either of us. We actively avoid confrontation. I think that gives people more freedom to ride roughshod over us, so we tend to just bow heads, agree with things to keep the peace. Or we try to explain our ‘failings’, which aren’t really failings, but we acquiesce to the idea that they are just as it makes for a quieter life. Sadly these things are ingrained from a lot of past experiences on both our sides.
I'm on my way.
Probably easier said than done but it sounds like they'll always find something to moan about no matter what you do so try to look at the visit like something you can't really change, like a rubbish weather forecast. It'll be over, make some plans for then.
That sounds horrible 
I actively avoid conflict too, it's why I only occasionally (like, every few months) talk to my mum and have to force myself to ring my dad in father's Day, his birthday and Christmas. And don't always manage. I know it upsets them but I struggle to feel bad about it when they spent more than 18 years upsetting me.
I had a burst of enthusiasm about doing more on the greenhouse list night but then had a sudden swing to strop. We're down to finishing sinking one block before the base can go down for the last time though! Just in time for days of thunderstorms and rain!
I actively avoid conflict too, it's why I only occasionally (like, every few months) talk to my mum and have to force myself to ring my dad in father's Day, his birthday and Christmas. And don't always manage. I know it upsets them but I struggle to feel bad about it when they spent more than 18 years upsetting me.
I had a burst of enthusiasm about doing more on the greenhouse list night but then had a sudden swing to strop. We're down to finishing sinking one block before the base can go down for the last time though! Just in time for days of thunderstorms and rain!
GazChap wrote:
KovacsC wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Is your shed felt kept in place with scarab beetles?
I am going to replace the shed. I think it is beyond saving.
Depending what n the size you need, ours might be of interest - we’re looking to get a bigger one, be a shame to scrap the old one.
That might help... I want to down size the shed
DavPaz wrote:
I'd hit them with "This is my fucking house, my fucking garden and my fucking life. Shut up or fuck off"
But I feel I'm a bit more confrontational than you are, Meems
But I feel I'm a bit more confrontational than you are, Meems
I am the same as you, it is why I have not spoken to my mum in years..
KovacsC wrote:
That might help... I want to down size the shed
Feel free to pop around for a look, although I'd have no clue how to take it apart (well, at least not in a way that doesn't involve a big axe and some source of flame)
If you're lucky, bolts. Less lucky, nails. Really unlucky, an ancient curse of sticking only breakable with a sacrifice to UHU the adhesive God
markg wrote:
Probably easier said than done but it sounds like they'll always find something to moan about no matter what you do so try to look at the visit like something you can't really change, like a rubbish weather forecast. It'll be over, make some plans for then.
It is a shame, but I do look forwards to it being over and done with. As I say, the last couple of times haven’t been so vela’s, and I hope that maybe there’s been a change in the way they communicate to us, in that they don’t have to tell us all their unsolicited opinions about us and everyone else in comparison to us (the comparison has never so far been a kind one).
We have something booked the day before, which I hope doesn’t get overshadowed. Darwin has an inset day in the middle of term so we’ve booked to go out. It can’t be moved, else I would very much have it on a different day.
As my Brother in law cut his finger off recently (gardening related), Russell has had to take his place on a driving experience day this weekend, and so my Ma and her partner will come back to ours after that to help in the garden again. They live in London, so it’s a really generous of time and effort.
@kovacsC Our shed is held together with nothing but prayer and good fortune.
Well there you go then, just respond to every question and criticism with
"HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"
"HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"
Haha, no, this is the brother-in-law on my side 
(as in my sister’s husband).
(as in my sister’s husband). Do it anyway, confuse them into submission.
It would be a good way to divert most conversation. Especially if you weren’t holding up any fingers but, for example, a toy ambulance and a ripe mango.
GIANT PUMPKIN UPDATE
That’s gonna be a LOT of pumpkin. What are you doing to ensure giant-ness?
Gerald Stratford (who has the best Twitter account) http://twitter.com/geraldstratfor3 has a book coming out called Big Veg which I’ve preordered even though I have no interest in growing giant vegetables. It just makes me smile. He’s so full of tips, etc, too. Everyone should follow him because it’s joyous.
Gerald Stratford (who has the best Twitter account) http://twitter.com/geraldstratfor3 has a book coming out called Big Veg which I’ve preordered even though I have no interest in growing giant vegetables. It just makes me smile. He’s so full of tips, etc, too. Everyone should follow him because it’s joyous.
I am going to choose my words very carefully here. I have been cutting back and shaping the shrubs/hedges. Keeping them the same shapes that they have naturally grown into, but just tidying them up a bit into nice pillowy forms. It’s good fun, and satisfying.
Tomatoes are coming on nicely, too. These are just under a pool ball in size, and should be nice when they’ve ripened.
Mimi wrote:
That’s gonna be a LOT of pumpkin. What are you doing to ensure giant-ness?
Gerald Stratford (who has the best Twitter account) http://twitter.com/geraldstratfor3 has a book coming out called Big Veg which I’ve preordered even though I have no interest in growing giant vegetables. It just makes me smile. He’s so full of tips, etc, too. Everyone should follow him because it’s joyous.
Gerald Stratford (who has the best Twitter account) http://twitter.com/geraldstratfor3 has a book coming out called Big Veg which I’ve preordered even though I have no interest in growing giant vegetables. It just makes me smile. He’s so full of tips, etc, too. Everyone should follow him because it’s joyous.
Will transfer two into the ground at some point, then pinch off all flowers until a female one appears and off we go.
I think.
At least with courgettes you need male flowers to get the female ones fertilised.
I know with some things, like F1 hybrid cucumbers, that's not necessary, so make sure!
I know with some things, like F1 hybrid cucumbers, that's not necessary, so make sure!
Cras wrote:
I'll sketch something.
Just reading back through this entire thread (for advice and inspiration) and noticed @cras was doing free garden sketches at one point and wondered if we could get one so we could go all Ground Force?
Picked my first peas today. They are wonderful.
Made a stir fry from the garden today. Well, and some noodles and tofu.
Most impressed with the carrot-shaped carrot.
Most impressed with the carrot-shaped carrot.
Fresh spring onions and peas/beans are lovely.
I really must try and get something growing in the garden this year. Our daughter is keen and so I want to try and capture that enthusiasm and encourage it. Last year she planted some beans and enjoyed eating them straight after picking, the crunch and the flavour were great.
I really must try and get something growing in the garden this year. Our daughter is keen and so I want to try and capture that enthusiasm and encourage it. Last year she planted some beans and enjoyed eating them straight after picking, the crunch and the flavour were great.
We have radishes.
Braces applied to raspberry frames that we're growing loganberries and Japanese wineberries on, which means we could put the wires on too. So that's a job finished, for a change. We couldn't put the wires on the frame that has blackberries on because that's gone mental so it's not safe to insert arms.
We also finished levelling the greenhouse base, leaving only fastening the corner sat on a wall to that wall somehow (aerated concrete block seems extremely brittle so I'm not sure attempting to drill is a good idea) and we can move on to constructing the greenhouse we bought in December 2017...
We also finished levelling the greenhouse base, leaving only fastening the corner sat on a wall to that wall somehow (aerated concrete block seems extremely brittle so I'm not sure attempting to drill is a good idea) and we can move on to constructing the greenhouse we bought in December 2017...
Fab radishes, Kov.
Glad you’ve got your base levelled out now, Bik. Wineberries sound interesting! Have you grown/eaten them before?
Glad you’ve got your base levelled out now, Bik. Wineberries sound interesting! Have you grown/eaten them before?
No, it's a plant Helen ordered last year while reading about raspberry/blackberry hybrids - I got her some loganberry places as a random gift while we were in Bromsgrove and the few berries we've had while potbound were gorgeous, and this garden had tayberries already which are mind-blowing, so she thought why not? No wineberries last year but it's looking like we'll get a fair number this year...
They sound brilliant. You must tell us what they are like in the eating. I quite fancy loganberries myself. I’ve got a single raspberry plant, but it won’t fruit this year. Hopefully next year!
I'll try and remember to get a photo of the plant, as you can imagine of anything Japanese it's much more fancy and ornate than our boring functional ones.
Also, if you don't want a garden full of raspberry plants make sure it's properly contained! We know this and still they escaped the enormous pots we'd been moving them around in, and now it's a struggle to stop them taking over the entire fruit and veg cage. In pots stood on concrete is the only way...
Also, if you don't want a garden full of raspberry plants make sure it's properly contained! We know this and still they escaped the enormous pots we'd been moving them around in, and now it's a struggle to stop them taking over the entire fruit and veg cage. In pots stood on concrete is the only way...
Good warning. I specifically got a patio raspberry and it’s living in a huge pot, on the paved patio.
I’d like to get some more soft fruits for next year. I currently only have the raspberries, and some strawberries (though I somehow have five varieties of strawberry).
I’d like to get some more soft fruits for next year. I currently only have the raspberries, and some strawberries (though I somehow have five varieties of strawberry).
When we moved in the garden was nice but had been neglected all over. Decades of people throwing junk in the beds had resulted in a horrible habit of finding broken glass, rusty nails and melted plastic everywhere.
The worst area, however, was an area at the back. Though a small part of the garden, it was strewn with loads of builders rubble, brick, tile, an entire huge felled and rotted tree, and loads of rusted metal and broken glass. All of the gardens here apparently suffered a rat problem a few years ago as one of the neighbours has a junk pile in their garden, but I’m pretty sure this junk pile didn’t help as there were (abandoned) rat runs running through this (they’d all had the exterminators in.
Anyway, there were things like a cast iron piano frame, and a fireplace amounts tall of this, as well as loads of plastic pots that the previous owner had burned on a bonfire and chucked back here. Loads of builders material plastic sacks had been buried, too.
We’ve been clearing it to hopefully put some phlox on the sloping land and some shrubs along the back.
It’s not been without difficulty. The neighbour that backs onto us (and four of our neighbours… their garden and house are huge) had the same rubble/junk/holly/ivy set up at the end of their garden when they moved in. According to them: they can clear the ivy in their garden but we must keep ours. They can clear the rubble in their garden but we most keep ours. They can clear holly from their garden but we must keep ours. They’ve told us what plants they want us to keep and what we are allowed to do with the space, so that’s been… difficult. Anyway, Russell has been working really hard to give us a nice basis to start with. My Ma’s husband borrowed a chainsaw and cleared the fallen tree, and it’s taken a good number of weekends snd trips to the tip, but finally we have something that we can plant some shrubs and phlox into once we get some compost and topsoil on.
The worst area, however, was an area at the back. Though a small part of the garden, it was strewn with loads of builders rubble, brick, tile, an entire huge felled and rotted tree, and loads of rusted metal and broken glass. All of the gardens here apparently suffered a rat problem a few years ago as one of the neighbours has a junk pile in their garden, but I’m pretty sure this junk pile didn’t help as there were (abandoned) rat runs running through this (they’d all had the exterminators in.
Anyway, there were things like a cast iron piano frame, and a fireplace amounts tall of this, as well as loads of plastic pots that the previous owner had burned on a bonfire and chucked back here. Loads of builders material plastic sacks had been buried, too.
We’ve been clearing it to hopefully put some phlox on the sloping land and some shrubs along the back.
It’s not been without difficulty. The neighbour that backs onto us (and four of our neighbours… their garden and house are huge) had the same rubble/junk/holly/ivy set up at the end of their garden when they moved in. According to them: they can clear the ivy in their garden but we must keep ours. They can clear the rubble in their garden but we most keep ours. They can clear holly from their garden but we must keep ours. They’ve told us what plants they want us to keep and what we are allowed to do with the space, so that’s been… difficult. Anyway, Russell has been working really hard to give us a nice basis to start with. My Ma’s husband borrowed a chainsaw and cleared the fallen tree, and it’s taken a good number of weekends snd trips to the tip, but finally we have something that we can plant some shrubs and phlox into once we get some compost and topsoil on.