One that I sent to Perkies earlier this year. The "you" in it is him, natch. cba to edit it.
Zardoz was lobbying for the immediate release of a (I'm going to use this work because it was in the dream, which of course is completely separate from my own subconscious and everything) retarded man from custody so that he could "roam free" and live like a cow in a field. He did this by making incredibly complex equations proving that he wasn't a threat to anybody, and transcribed them into a Geocities era website using a rented-by-the-hour PC at his local library.
The, ahem, retard had just killed his tiny frail mother, and for some reason you and ("Mrs Perkies" -Ed), Zardoz, and me and my Ma were invited to her funeral. Upon arriving at the venue, Zardoz insisted on going to meet the, oh lordy, retard at his tiny flat where he'd beaten his mother to death. It was like a gorilla enclosure at a zoo. Crap and food scattered all over the floors. He was the size of the Incredible Hulk, and was feasting on endless plates of plain boiled rice while eyeballing us. Upon seeing me, he launched himself onto a piggyback position on me and shit and vomited all over my back between our two bodies. We were like a cack sandwich. Suddenly a load of tiny lady nurses appeared shouting about the "epi pen" they use to calm him down. As I fell to the floor slowly being crushed by the weight of the... retard, they injected ME with the tranq so that I wouldn't be too distressed while they levered him off.
After that I had to be stripped off to my kecks and hosed down of the three inch thick patty of poo and sick that had congealed all down my back, all the while I was high off my tits on tranquillisers. It was at this moment that you appeared from your flight from Canacia for the funeral. You were dressed as a dapper cowboy (probably my RDR2 playthrough sourced that one), and tried to introduce me to ("Mrs Perkies" -Ed) while I was still half covered in shit and being blasted from the hose. My Ma was fretting around me going "don't worry, don't worry, I always carry a spare set of your clothes with me".
We attended the funeral and the.... hnnngh retard was hauled in on a chain to pay his last respects before being took back to his flat. Then you offered me a lift back home in your Morris Minor
I'm quite happy with it.