Emo zombies? I don't want to live in this world any more.
The concept is actually quite interesting, and gives a reason why zombies want people's brains - they crave the memories. However, beyond that, the entire thing is utter gash.
Zombies eating brains was invented by Dan O'Bannon for Return of the Living Dead. It was explained in that film why they wanted them.
Dimrill wrote:
Emo zombies? I don't want to live in this world any more.
You want to die so you can become an emo zombie too?
Dimrill wrote:
Zombies eating brains was invented by Dan O'Bannon for Return of the Living Dead. It was explained in that film why they wanted them.
Ooh. Why?
"Life-energy" specifically brains that are dying while they eat em. Old brains not good. Brains. Send more paramedics.
An Zombie wrote:
The pain! The pain of being dead.
An Zombie wrote:
Makes the pain go away.
Mr Russell wrote:
Dimrill wrote:
Zombies eating brains was invented by Dan O'Bannon for Return of the Living Dead. It was explained in that film why they wanted them.
Ooh. Why?
So people would better understand the zombie's motivations.
Mr Russell wrote:
Dimrill wrote:
Zombies eating brains was invented by Dan O'Bannon for Return of the Living Dead. It was explained in that film why they wanted them.
Ooh. Why?
Because Vampires already eat dick.
I hope the emo zombie finds a teenage girl who's just discovered masturbation and who is convinced she can stop the zombie being an zombie with the power of Wicca and love her and stop eating flesh and then they find a werewolf who is angry and more troubled but the zombie doesn't like him and so they stand about two inches apart from each other looking hurt and angry and flicking their focus from one eye to the other and nearly crying and face actering like no face acter has ever actered before while the teenage Wiccan witch is frotting herself all over both their legs but they're just so into the face actering that they don't notice her and this goes on for about 5 films or something.
I think once Zombies learn how they can learn to love themselves again the spell will break.
And they will return to the water as Mermaids.
And they will return to the water as Mermaids.
Weremaids.
You might be, I'm not.
Dimrill wrote:
I hope the emo zombie finds a teenage girl who's just discovered masturbation and who is convinced she can stop the zombie being an zombie with the power of Wicca and love her and stop eating flesh and then they find a werewolf who is angry and more troubled but the zombie doesn't like him and so they stand about two inches apart from each other looking hurt and angry and flicking their focus from one eye to the other and nearly crying and face actering like no face acter has ever actered before while the teenage Wiccan witch is frotting herself all over both their legs but they're just so into the face actering that they don't notice her and this goes on for about 5 films or something.
You need to get this commissioned!!
... and then he eats her brains.
Because he's a zombie.
Because he's a zombie.
But he's not unreasonable. He's not going to eat her eyes.
Her beautiful, delicious eyes...
On nom nom... Oops!
You wouldn't trust a zombie during sex though, something might break off and you definitely wouldn't want one going down on you...Also, imagine that morning breath, no amount of Listerene is going to help with that. Jesus. Wouldn't be worth it, no matter how emo or good at eye actering they were.
I think I'd rather have a zombie go down on me* than go down on a zombie. Assuming all their teeth had been taken out or something.
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
Be careful, dick for brains.
Grim... wrote:
I think I'd rather have a zombie go down on me* than go down on a zombie. Assuming all their teeth had been taken out or something.
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
Really? Fuck that. Have you ever put your finger in a teething babies mouth? It's like a gummy vice. The crushing strength of a determined mouth would not be all that pleasurable. And they'd be all cold and dead-eyed. Be like skull-fucking your dead Nan.
Grim... wrote:
.
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
Duh. Ex-Heroes. *especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
flis wrote:
Grim... wrote:
I think I'd rather have a zombie go down on me* than go down on a zombie. Assuming all their teeth had been taken out or something.
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
Really? Fuck that. Have you ever put your finger in a teething babies mouth? It's like a gummy vice. The crushing strength of a determined mouth would not be all that pleasurable. And they'd be all cold and dead-eyed. Be like skull-fucking your dead Nan.
Yeah, but can you imagine what one would taste like?
Bacon, right?
Grim... wrote:
flis wrote:
Grim... wrote:
I think I'd rather have a zombie go down on me* than go down on a zombie. Assuming all their teeth had been taken out or something.
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
*especially Jessica Alba**.
**Anyone get that?
Really? Fuck that. Have you ever put your finger in a teething babies mouth? It's like a gummy vice. The crushing strength of a determined mouth would not be all that pleasurable. And they'd be all cold and dead-eyed. Be like skull-fucking your dead Nan.
Yeah, but can you imagine what one would taste like?
If it tasted rotten, would you want to fuck it? You'd be up to your arse in squelchy zombie before you knew it. It wouldn't matter if it wasn't in, you'd just make a new hole. Aslove love wsuming it was recently undeaded, it wouldn't be that bad. I'd rather do that to a male one than a female one, I think.
flis wrote:
Aslove love wsuming it was recently undeaded, it wouldn't be that bad.
Yeah.
DavPaz wrote:
flis wrote:
Aslove love wsuming it was recently undeaded, it wouldn't be that bad.
Yeah.
What? That makes perfect sense to both myself and Mr. Dave...
flis wrote:
If it tasted rotten, would you want to fuck it?
If the issue was how it tasted, I'd rather stick my cock in it than my tongue. Maybe girls can taste stuff with their runny love-hole? If they can, I'll add it to the list of things I didn't know about the female anatomy
Grim... wrote:
flis wrote:
If it tasted rotten, would you want to fuck it?
If the issue was how it tasted, I'd rather stick my cock in it than my tongue. Maybe girls can taste stuff with their runny love-hole? If they can, I'll add it to the list of things I didn't know about the female anatomy
The two go together, no? If it looks like I don't want to put it in my mouth, I'm sure as fuck not putting it anywhere else.
I thought we only had the two choices?
We're wandering into Nekromantik or Porn of the Dead territory here.
After re-watching the first three Return of the Living Dead flims yesterday, today I'd thought I'd suffer through the Day of the Dead remake. It's started with teenagers making out. Not a good start.
Oof, now they've driven off while listening to Paramore on a boom-box.
Dimrill wrote:
After re-watching the first three Return of the Living Dead flims yesterday, today I'd thought I'd suffer through the Day of the Dead remake. It's started with teenagers making out. Not a good start.
Oof. Good luck.
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
Flying zombies... spiderman zombies... oof
Dean Learner wrote:
There's a lot of slow-motion. The episodes were running up to 8 minutes under. The only way to stretch them out was with slow-motion. And, we, tried to keep the slow-motion away from the dialogue as much as possible, but anything without dialogue was considered for slow-motion.
I've watched too many terrible zombie films. I shall post my worst three later. Be afraid.
Children of the Living Dead takes some beating. Especially when you're part of the really ridiculous backstage internet rumblings while it was being made.
Dimrill wrote:
Children of the Living Dead takes some beating. Especially when you're part of the really ridiculous backstage internet rumblings while it was being made.
Spoilers!
Oof, that flim was bloody awful. I was wise to put it off for so long. Now onto Day of the Dead 2: Contagium, which I've also put off for years.
Zombocalypse 3D
"OK Genius, let me explain this in terms you can understand: the thing that you did, it woke up the dead. And they're ticked off"
"OK Genius, let me explain this in terms you can understand: the thing that you did, it woke up the dead. And they're ticked off"
There are no less than three Night of the Living Dead 3D films now. I bet Trevor and Simon are almost out of balloons and jelly.
Dimrill wrote:
We're wandering into Nekromantik or Porn of the Dead territory here.
Or Deadgirl. There's a zombie film I feel no need to watch 
Dimrill wrote:
Oof, that flim was bloody awful. I was wise to put it off for so long. Now onto Day of the Dead 2: Contagium, which I've also put off for years.
I've put that off for years too. I've flicked through the DVD and it looks dreadful.
Not too bad, actually. Really hamstrung by having Day of the Dead added to the title. Quite decent zombage.
Come on Alarm! I'm waiting for these worst zombages list 
Dimrill wrote:
Come on Alarm! I'm waiting for these worst zombages list
Tomorrow. Ideally, I would sift through them again to tear them apart, but I won't. Will just give some reasons as to why they are so poor.
*rubs hands* I'll have a rummage through my collection and pick my worst too.
Right, here is Alarm's quickly cobbled together worst zombie films (that he's seen).
3. Flesh Eater (also known as Zombie Nosh)
Written, directed, produced, everythinged by Bill Hinzman. Who, you ask? The zombie in the graveyard in Night of the Living Dead. Yes, somebody decided to throw him some money so he could bring that zombie back to life (sort of).
I know this film has a following, but it's really poorly edited, and the plot is nonsensical and nothing special. I wish I could remember more about it, but fortunately I've blocked most of it out.
2. House of the Dead
Uwe Boll's infamous masterpiece of trash cinema. Laughably poor characterisation, ludicrous plot, dire acting; full of "look, I can imitate bullet time, I am a great director" moments. It even badly shoe-horns clips from the game in the film, to no good effect.
The director later released a director's cut, which tried to make out that it was intended as a comedy horror all along. He added fart jokes and even worse stabs at humour.
1. Children of the Living Dead
Executive-produced by the co-writer of the original Night of the Living Dead, this "spin-off" is woefully inept in all regards. It would be difficult to make a worse zombie film.
I shall end with the director's words on the film.
There are a few other films which almost made the grade (Redneck Zombies was almost in third place, but at least that was intended to be a comedy. I think).
3. Flesh Eater (also known as Zombie Nosh)
Written, directed, produced, everythinged by Bill Hinzman. Who, you ask? The zombie in the graveyard in Night of the Living Dead. Yes, somebody decided to throw him some money so he could bring that zombie back to life (sort of).
I know this film has a following, but it's really poorly edited, and the plot is nonsensical and nothing special. I wish I could remember more about it, but fortunately I've blocked most of it out.
2. House of the Dead
Uwe Boll's infamous masterpiece of trash cinema. Laughably poor characterisation, ludicrous plot, dire acting; full of "look, I can imitate bullet time, I am a great director" moments. It even badly shoe-horns clips from the game in the film, to no good effect.
The director later released a director's cut, which tried to make out that it was intended as a comedy horror all along. He added fart jokes and even worse stabs at humour.
1. Children of the Living Dead
Executive-produced by the co-writer of the original Night of the Living Dead, this "spin-off" is woefully inept in all regards. It would be difficult to make a worse zombie film.
I shall end with the director's words on the film.
Quote:
I am writing to you to offer my sincerest apology for the 90 minutes of your life wasted watching the movie Children of the Living Dead. I read your review on the internet and would like to thank you for understating its worthlessness. You see, I did in fact direct Children of the Living Dead, and you know what? It really does suck!!!!
There are a few other films which almost made the grade (Redneck Zombies was almost in third place, but at least that was intended to be a comedy. I think).