Trooper wrote:
Pundabaya wrote:
Also, Slaughterhouse Rulez. Which was a movie. 5/10. A horror-comedy that is neither funny or horrific.
That was proper shit. It had some proper actors in as I recall, but I have no idea if they were going for the 80s b-movie style or if it was just... shit.
It had Nick Frost and Simon Pegg! I think it's safe to assume it wasn't meant to be taken seriously!
Brightburn is a film.
It’s the one about the real life upbringing of superman. He’s found as a wee baby in a rocket that comes to earth and as he grows up he starts to discover his powers. And like most children, he’s a right little shit. Now give that hormonal lil bastard super powers. Now try telling him it’s bedtime when he wants to stay up. People would die, right? Well that’s exactly what happens.
And y’know what, after watching The Boys I can firmly say that this was spaffy wank.
Don’t waste your time. Oh, mind you, there’s a couple of amusing deaths in it. But they’re amusing for all the wrong reasons though.
It’s the one about the real life upbringing of superman. He’s found as a wee baby in a rocket that comes to earth and as he grows up he starts to discover his powers. And like most children, he’s a right little shit. Now give that hormonal lil bastard super powers. Now try telling him it’s bedtime when he wants to stay up. People would die, right? Well that’s exactly what happens.
And y’know what, after watching The Boys I can firmly say that this was spaffy wank.
Don’t waste your time. Oh, mind you, there’s a couple of amusing deaths in it. But they’re amusing for all the wrong reasons though.
Cube is now available on Amazon Prime Video. Unfortunately I'd already given up waiting for it to be available to stream and bought it a few weeks back. Great film though.
I saw Into the Spider-Verse.
It's brilliant.
It's brilliant.
Sure is. Pretty sure it's in my top 5 Marvel movies (along with Endgame, Civil War and Deadpools).
The Fast & The Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
It’s a bloated mess of a film:
It’s 40 minutes too long because...
Too much of the typical “family” nonsense you get from this series, utterly superfluous Helen Mirran scenes, an excruciatingly long A-Team style montage of Samoans, an over long helicopter sequence, repetitive exposition, and some other crap. It could have been much more tightly edited.
You’ve seen the best bits in the trailer because...
They released two long trailers, that I’m sure I posted links to here, with almost the entirety of (a) the external lift and (b) the parallel room fight sequences. These are by far the best bits of the entire film. These sequences work since they play off the rivalry between the titular meat-heads. There should have been much more of this than there was. This was unforgivable in my eyes since when it was funny it was really good.
You’ll want to avoid this if you’ve got epilepsy because...
There’s 4 or 5 sequences with just fucking awful annoying flashing lights. At the beginning it’s a constant flashing blue light for no fucking reason in a Statham fight; then a constant flashing red light during a second Statham fight; during a prolonged escape from an army base there’s another flashing red light...etc. The flashing is constant and throughout entire scenes. It looks shit, stupid and just fucking amateur.
There’s far too little Statham because...
It’s weighted in favour of The Rock. Statham takes a huge backseat in the final third when he’s hardly in it. The best bits are the interactions between the leads, and also it’s the fucking title of the film, so make that be the whole film next time please. The “bantz” is pretty funny so do more of that.
The entire Samoan bit was piss poor because...
It was unnecessary. The film could have ended without any of that and been better for it. The new characters introduced aren’t interesting and the film is too long by that point with the audiences patience run out for more needless backstory. The acting takes a dive too. Statham fades into the background. The bantz is nonexistent. There’s some car porn. But the worst offender is the fight sequence. I couldn’t tell what the fuck was going on, the camera was too fucking close so it felt like there was a strobing effect; plus the fight involved a bunch of random people fighting who I didn’t care about. Which reminds me...
The fight sequences were piss poor because...
Camera too close, too many cuts, it’s the Taken 3 effect that just made the sequences a bit of a mess. I’ve been spoiled after John Wick but we know from The Fate of the Furious/The Transporter 2/etc that these guys can properly fight. They don’t need quick cuts and edits like other actors to disguise the fact that they’re shit at pretend fighting - these fucking guys can definitely fight and look good doing it. So why do we need this shit?! Pull the camera out and let us just watch what is unfolding. It was infuriating because I actually wanted to watch these guys fuck a bunch of red shirts up. The director needs firing for this shit. He basically ruined the film.
What else - some random thoughts:-
The villain isn’t Black Superman (he insists he is) he’s Black Ironman and he’s got a fucking cool ass bike that he sort of melds into instead of a super suit! Essentially for 80% of the film it’s all about him and the bike. Then why in fucks name is his big fight just him sat in a fucking helicopter!? It’s shameful that the last big chase doesn’t involve Black Ironman bezzing around on his bike.
The actual last fight was almost done perfectly though but they fucked it up. It starts off all slow-mo punches and outrageous gurning to camera. They do it 2/3 times and then it speeds up to normal and it’s just a normal fight. No. That whole scene should just have been The Rock & Statham doing daft faces to camera. I’d have fucking loved that.
I loved the airport and airplane sequence. No high octane nonsense, it’s all bantz, just Statham and The Rock riffing, played straight for laughs ... and it’s godlike. It’s a real highlight. Then FUCKING KEVIN HART APPEARS!? Hnnnngh.
So Hobbs & Shaw...should have been 80’s buddy cop film crossed with John Wick fighting Black Ironman. That would have been my pitch, anyway. What we got is disappointing. It promised to be a high octane rollercoaster but it’s bloated and sometimes drags especially in the final third.
5/10
It’s a bloated mess of a film:
It’s 40 minutes too long because...
Too much of the typical “family” nonsense you get from this series, utterly superfluous Helen Mirran scenes, an excruciatingly long A-Team style montage of Samoans, an over long helicopter sequence, repetitive exposition, and some other crap. It could have been much more tightly edited.
You’ve seen the best bits in the trailer because...
They released two long trailers, that I’m sure I posted links to here, with almost the entirety of (a) the external lift and (b) the parallel room fight sequences. These are by far the best bits of the entire film. These sequences work since they play off the rivalry between the titular meat-heads. There should have been much more of this than there was. This was unforgivable in my eyes since when it was funny it was really good.
You’ll want to avoid this if you’ve got epilepsy because...
There’s 4 or 5 sequences with just fucking awful annoying flashing lights. At the beginning it’s a constant flashing blue light for no fucking reason in a Statham fight; then a constant flashing red light during a second Statham fight; during a prolonged escape from an army base there’s another flashing red light...etc. The flashing is constant and throughout entire scenes. It looks shit, stupid and just fucking amateur.
There’s far too little Statham because...
It’s weighted in favour of The Rock. Statham takes a huge backseat in the final third when he’s hardly in it. The best bits are the interactions between the leads, and also it’s the fucking title of the film, so make that be the whole film next time please. The “bantz” is pretty funny so do more of that.
The entire Samoan bit was piss poor because...
It was unnecessary. The film could have ended without any of that and been better for it. The new characters introduced aren’t interesting and the film is too long by that point with the audiences patience run out for more needless backstory. The acting takes a dive too. Statham fades into the background. The bantz is nonexistent. There’s some car porn. But the worst offender is the fight sequence. I couldn’t tell what the fuck was going on, the camera was too fucking close so it felt like there was a strobing effect; plus the fight involved a bunch of random people fighting who I didn’t care about. Which reminds me...
The fight sequences were piss poor because...
Camera too close, too many cuts, it’s the Taken 3 effect that just made the sequences a bit of a mess. I’ve been spoiled after John Wick but we know from The Fate of the Furious/The Transporter 2/etc that these guys can properly fight. They don’t need quick cuts and edits like other actors to disguise the fact that they’re shit at pretend fighting - these fucking guys can definitely fight and look good doing it. So why do we need this shit?! Pull the camera out and let us just watch what is unfolding. It was infuriating because I actually wanted to watch these guys fuck a bunch of red shirts up. The director needs firing for this shit. He basically ruined the film.
What else - some random thoughts:-
The villain isn’t Black Superman (he insists he is) he’s Black Ironman and he’s got a fucking cool ass bike that he sort of melds into instead of a super suit! Essentially for 80% of the film it’s all about him and the bike. Then why in fucks name is his big fight just him sat in a fucking helicopter!? It’s shameful that the last big chase doesn’t involve Black Ironman bezzing around on his bike.
The actual last fight was almost done perfectly though but they fucked it up. It starts off all slow-mo punches and outrageous gurning to camera. They do it 2/3 times and then it speeds up to normal and it’s just a normal fight. No. That whole scene should just have been The Rock & Statham doing daft faces to camera. I’d have fucking loved that.
I loved the airport and airplane sequence. No high octane nonsense, it’s all bantz, just Statham and The Rock riffing, played straight for laughs ... and it’s godlike. It’s a real highlight. Then FUCKING KEVIN HART APPEARS!? Hnnnngh.
So Hobbs & Shaw...should have been 80’s buddy cop film crossed with John Wick fighting Black Ironman. That would have been my pitch, anyway. What we got is disappointing. It promised to be a high octane rollercoaster but it’s bloated and sometimes drags especially in the final third.
5/10
We'll accept you have suffered some form of head injury and adjust the score to 10/10.
Satsuma wrote:
The Fast & The Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
You’ve seen the best bits in the trailer because...
You’ve seen the best bits in the trailer because...
I'm hoping this isn't the case as I turned off the trailer halfway through and yet I'm seeing the film on Tuesday.
devilman wrote:
Satsuma wrote:
The Fast & The Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
You’ve seen the best bits in the trailer because...
You’ve seen the best bits in the trailer because...
I'm hoping this isn't the case as I turned off the trailer halfway through and yet I'm seeing the film on Tuesday.
Just got back from watching it and I agree with everything Sat said. I thought the Jack Reacher films had awful dialogue, but this took the awfulness to another level.
We'd inadvertently picked the one showing of the week that was subtitled. Except they were having technical problems showing the subtitled version and asked everyone if they minded if they showed the non-subtitled version instead. At which point one bloke, who had brought his deaf Dad to see it said yes, he objected, so they showed the non-subtitled version anyway and they left. Hopefully there were no other deaf people on their own in there as they wouldn't have heard the damned question in the first place.
If you have Amazon Prime and 99 pence burning a hole in your bank account I'd heartily recommend renting the 2018 movie Arctic (starring Mads Mikkelsen) -
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Arctic-Mads-Mi ... 07RGXJ7TX/
It's bloody great.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Arctic-Mads-Mi ... 07RGXJ7TX/
It's bloody great.
Four_Candles wrote:
If you have Amazon Prime and 99 pence burning a hole in your bank account I'd heartily recommend renting the 2018 movie Arctic (starring Mads Mikkelsen) -
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Arctic-Mads-Mi ... 07RGXJ7TX/
It's bloody great.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Arctic-Mads-Mi ... 07RGXJ7TX/
It's bloody great.
That looks great. I don’t think my nerves could take watching it, sadly, but everything I’ve just read about it makes it sound brill.
Went to see the latest Spiderman film last night. Really good!
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
Watched some old ass fillums
The World's End: I expected this to be crap, as everyone said it was such a disappointment after Hot Fuzz. I thought it was ace, much better than Shaun of the Dead!
IT ( the new one) : pretty damn good, I liked the period update to the late eighties. Takes a while to get going though which is a bit frustrating when you know roughly how the story goes. Pennywise was great! Also Ritchie's speech at the climax was awesome.
Ready Player One: surprisingly watchable. Most of the fun of it is spotting references, but the movie itself isn't bad. The highpoint is definitely the trip to Overlook Hotel. Also: Best Use of The F-bomb in a PG13 film.
The World's End: I expected this to be crap, as everyone said it was such a disappointment after Hot Fuzz. I thought it was ace, much better than Shaun of the Dead!
IT ( the new one) : pretty damn good, I liked the period update to the late eighties. Takes a while to get going though which is a bit frustrating when you know roughly how the story goes. Pennywise was great! Also Ritchie's speech at the climax was awesome.
Ready Player One: surprisingly watchable. Most of the fun of it is spotting references, but the movie itself isn't bad. The highpoint is definitely the trip to Overlook Hotel. Also: Best Use of The F-bomb in a PG13 film.
"Old"
Just a quick heads-up for this film, sorry but I can't be arsed doing a proper review after pulling 28 hours of overtime between Fri-Sun, but I did finally get chance to sit down and watch a film yesterday evening.
What I will say is it runs to over two and a half hours and yet it had me engrossed every step of the way, and I generally run out of patience very quickly with films that are stretched out to be overly long.
Yes I know Mel Gibson is 'problematic' as a person but fuck me the man can act, Vince Vaughn gives a great performance, Don Johnson is in there, the sister from Dexter, and that woman from The Walking Dead.
RT summary - DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE follows two police detectives who find themselves suspended when a video of their strong-arm tactics is leaked to the media. With little money and no options, the embittered policemen descend into the criminal underworld and find more than they wanted waiting in the shadows.
What I will say is it runs to over two and a half hours and yet it had me engrossed every step of the way, and I generally run out of patience very quickly with films that are stretched out to be overly long.
Yes I know Mel Gibson is 'problematic' as a person but fuck me the man can act, Vince Vaughn gives a great performance, Don Johnson is in there, the sister from Dexter, and that woman from The Walking Dead.
RT summary - DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE follows two police detectives who find themselves suspended when a video of their strong-arm tactics is leaked to the media. With little money and no options, the embittered policemen descend into the criminal underworld and find more than they wanted waiting in the shadows.
Attachment:
draggerso.JPG
Grim... wrote:
"Old"
I was exaggerating for effect, as a majority of films in here are brand new releases.
Pundabaya wrote:
The World's End: I expected this to be crap, as everyone said it was such a disappointment after Hot Fuzz. I thought it was ace, much better than Shaun of the Dead!
I have been meaning to watch this for aaaaaages. That, and the one with James Franco and his mates in the flat as the world ends, that's been in my Netflix list for a long time too
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Pundabaya wrote:
The World's End: I expected this to be crap, as everyone said it was such a disappointment after Hot Fuzz. I thought it was ace, much better than Shaun of the Dead!
I have been meaning to watch this for aaaaaages. That, and the one with James Franco and his mates in the flat as the world ends, that's been in my Netflix list for a long time too
Isn't the news enough for you?
Findus Fop wrote:
isn't the news enough for you?
I find the pacing uneven, the plot stretches credibility and the actors unconvincing.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Findus Fop wrote:
isn't the news enough for you?
I find the pacing uneven, the plot stretches credibility and the actors unconvincing.
But will you see the twist coming?
We saw ugly dolls, not great, like an Aliexpress version of a Dreamworks film, but miss 9yo liked it as it was brightly coloured and had songs in it
We saw Spiderman far from home, which was great fun, I had asked before if 9yo could watch it and she absolutely loved it - only closed her eyes for one little bit (and the Joker preview) Added funnies because of the cliche Dutchness and the fact that we went to London for a few days last winter and spent a day at the Tower so she was extra excited
We saw Spiderman far from home, which was great fun, I had asked before if 9yo could watch it and she absolutely loved it - only closed her eyes for one little bit (and the Joker preview) Added funnies because of the cliche Dutchness and the fact that we went to London for a few days last winter and spent a day at the Tower so she was extra excited
Saw Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the other day. Really enjoyed it, it looked great and DiCaprio and Pitt were both on good form. It's more of a slower, Jackie Brown kind of a deal but it still kept us both rapt all the way through. 8.5/10 - good, but it definitely needs the big screen I'd say.
Conversely, I tolerated "The Queen's Corgi" on Saturday morning. It was garbage and had some pretty questionable jokes for a kids' movie (Donald Trump telling his dog to go and "grab 'em by the puppy"). Also the main message of the film seemed to be "good breeding wins" which was alarming.
Aquaman: actually really good. I am surprised.
markg wrote:
Saw Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the other day. Really enjoyed it, it looked great and DiCaprio and Pitt were both on good form. It's more of a slower, Jackie Brown kind of a deal but it still kept us both rapt all the way through. 8.5/10 - good, but it definitely needs the big screen I'd say.
Does Tarantino appear on screen roughly half way through the film and drag you out of the story because oh look, Tarantino?
Dimrill wrote:
markg wrote:
Saw Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the other day. Really enjoyed it, it looked great and DiCaprio and Pitt were both on good form. It's more of a slower, Jackie Brown kind of a deal but it still kept us both rapt all the way through. 8.5/10 - good, but it definitely needs the big screen I'd say.
Does Tarantino appear on screen roughly half way through the film and drag you out of the story because oh look, Tarantino?
No, unless I just didn't notice he managed to avoid stinking this one up with his amazing acting skills.
The wüst one was Hateful Eight where he barged in with that narration.
The Art of Self Defense. It's a black comedy. My, it is dark, and subtle (mostly). Odd, but good. Watch if you liked, um, I don't know.
I had the misfortune to watch John Wick 3 last night. I very nearly turned it off halfway through but after a 30 minute break was able to continue to the end. Just.
It has no plot, no characters, nothing to care about, and some of the stupidest action sequeneces I've ever seen, just a relentless wall of light and noise signifying nothing. True Lies did all this kind of thing far better in 1994. (It even had a sequence with a horse in it! Except a good sequence with a horse.)
It's also gratuitously violent, that I found both numbing and discomfiting in equal measures.
I thought John Wick 1 and 2 were fine, (but not great), and even though this is arguably more of the same, something about the whole thing really jarred with me and by the end I was finding it genuinely unpleasant, and was glad when the credits rolled so I could turn it off.
It doesn't even have an ending as such, just sets up John Wick 4.
325/1000 - It gets that for the bits of the action sequences that were OK, and the fact that Laurence Fishburne and Ian McShane gave it a marginal amount of heft in the character department. For me this doesn't even work as a dumb action flick, there's dumb, and then there's fucking braindead. Total horseshit. Avoid.
It has no plot, no characters, nothing to care about, and some of the stupidest action sequeneces I've ever seen, just a relentless wall of light and noise signifying nothing. True Lies did all this kind of thing far better in 1994. (It even had a sequence with a horse in it! Except a good sequence with a horse.)
It's also gratuitously violent, that I found both numbing and discomfiting in equal measures.
I thought John Wick 1 and 2 were fine, (but not great), and even though this is arguably more of the same, something about the whole thing really jarred with me and by the end I was finding it genuinely unpleasant, and was glad when the credits rolled so I could turn it off.
It doesn't even have an ending as such, just sets up John Wick 4.
325/1000 - It gets that for the bits of the action sequences that were OK, and the fact that Laurence Fishburne and Ian McShane gave it a marginal amount of heft in the character department. For me this doesn't even work as a dumb action flick, there's dumb, and then there's fucking braindead. Total horseshit. Avoid.
Hearthly wrote:
It's also gratuitously violent, that I found both numbing and discomfiting in equal measures.
Giphy "nathan fillion":
https://media2.giphy.com/media/d31xeuBpR8qdzWSc/giphy-loop.mp4
Not the one I was thinking if but good work, Giphy.
It, and the one you were thinking of, are highly appropriate here.
Who is this character? My three year old has been asking me for the last 2 hours and I havent a clue.
Help me.
Help me.
General Grievous, from the prequels.
Cras wrote:
General Grievous, from the prequels.
Thank you! What a name.
Findus Fop wrote:
Who is this character? My three year old has been asking me for the last 2 hours and I havent a clue.
Help me Obi Wan, you're my only hope.
Help me Obi Wan, you're my only hope.
FTFY
And it looks like his name is E Lasto Plast, who is always getting into sticky situations.
'The Rainmaker' was added/readded to Amazon Prime yesterday so I thought I'd give it a rewatch. Forgotten how good it was. It's pretty predictable story-wise, but the performances make up for it.
Also, I've taken so long to watch my digitally-bought copy of Blade Runner 2049, that's come out on Netflix anyway before I've even seen it. Taken 3 also added yesterday so I might give that a nose too.
Also, I've taken so long to watch my digitally-bought copy of Blade Runner 2049, that's come out on Netflix anyway before I've even seen it. Taken 3 also added yesterday so I might give that a nose too.
devilman wrote:
Taken 3 also added yesterday so I might give that a nose too.
Make sure you've got literally nothing else to do, or you'll regret wasting your time.
Mrs B and I watched a Spike Lee film called Chi-Raq at the weekend because the local indie cinema was doing cheap films. To say it was polarising would be putting it mildly given that she loved it ("I think it's one of the best things he's ever done.") whereas I fucking hated it ("It was weird, stupid, heavy-handed, uneven and flat-out awful"). It's set in Chicago, hence the name, and it's an anti-gun piece that has the wives and girlfriends of various players instituting a sex ban to get their gangster and politician lovers to the negotiating table. Oh, and it's delivered almost entirely in rhyme; because of course it is. My real issue is that it attempts to balance hard-hitting setup--like someone's child getting gunned down in the street--alongside pure ridiculous clownery e.g. an army general humping a cannon in his pants while hooping and hollering. Needless to say this absolutely doesn't work and almost everything about it was weird and off-putting. As a comedy it wasn't funny (aside from maybe Wesley Snipes who was almost unrecognisable and seemed to be having a whale of a time) and as an anti-gun drama it was predictable, obvious and boring.
Teen Titans Go! To The Movies, It's a silly kids cartoon.. that is really fun. I enjoyed the crap out of it.
Hellboy 2019 - just, why?
The kids chose Bridge to Tarabithia after seeing a preview in Netflix. I don't think it was what they were expecting but it was a lovely, charming story and our nearly 7 year old enjoyed it and the nearly 5 year old got the emotion too. The nearly 3 year old however was far happier pretending to be a dog
markg wrote:
Dimrill wrote:
markg wrote:
Saw Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the other day. Really enjoyed it, it looked great and DiCaprio and Pitt were both on good form. It's more of a slower, Jackie Brown kind of a deal but it still kept us both rapt all the way through. 8.5/10 - good, but it definitely needs the big screen I'd say.
Does Tarantino appear on screen roughly half way through the film and drag you out of the story because oh look, Tarantino?
No, unless I just didn't notice he managed to avoid stinking this one up with his amazing acting skills.
You hear him at the end.
I know this, as I have also seen the film! I liked it a lot.
Most recent film I fell asleep in: The Highwaymen.
It was quite good and I was enjoying it but I was also so so tired. I like Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson. Will try again another time.
It was quite good and I was enjoying it but I was also so so tired. I like Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson. Will try again another time.
Annihilation: a Netflix thing I think, it's about a strange phenomenon to be explored. Its very very weird and quite pretty, but the story is terrible in that it doesn't go anywhere and is internally inconsistent and so bad I mostly felt annoyed from about halfway through, despite some very cool ideas
I think that's my issue, it's ideas but not a story
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword: (also on Netflix) Guy Ritchie version of the legend, equal parts eye roll and entertainment
I think that's my issue, it's ideas but not a story
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword: (also on Netflix) Guy Ritchie version of the legend, equal parts eye roll and entertainment
Hopefully keep him out of some films for a bit.
https://www.vladtv.com/article/257518/k ... n-accident
https://www.vladtv.com/article/257518/k ... n-accident
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
Satsuma wrote:
Hopefully keep him out of some films for a bit.
https://www.vladtv.com/article/257518/k ... n-accident
https://www.vladtv.com/article/257518/k ... n-accident
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
Wasn’t he in a pretty epic smash a few years ago? Or am I confusing him with another comedian?
DBSnappa wrote:
Wasn’t he in a pretty epic smash a few years ago? Or am I confusing him with another comedian?
You're probably thinking of Rik Mayall.