I think he prefers to be called Kov 
Giphy "git":
https://media0.giphy.com/media/MccXoMrOhrpRe/giphy-loop.mp4
https://media0.giphy.com/media/MccXoMrOhrpRe/giphy-loop.mp4
DavPaz wrote:
I think he prefers to be called Kov
Pfft!
I thought I'd actually said something offensive!
PCR test was negative. Must have just had a bug, or cottaging tried to kill me. 
It was my birthday on Tuesday. Half way through the day, we had a call from the school as my eldest daughters class had a few confirmed cases of the 'rona.
She came home and tested negative on Tuesday, positive on Wednesday so that's 10 days isolation from there. We were supposed to go to St Ives on Saturday so you can imagine how great everyone is feeling right now!
She's absolutely fine though, maybe a small cold but apart from that... Fine so that's good at least.
She came home and tested negative on Tuesday, positive on Wednesday so that's 10 days isolation from there. We were supposed to go to St Ives on Saturday so you can imagine how great everyone is feeling right now!
She's absolutely fine though, maybe a small cold but apart from that... Fine so that's good at least.
Sooty to hear that 
it’s a really unfortunate set of circumstances. I hope she stays as well as possible and that the rest of you do, too. Can you get the money for the holiday back on insurance?
It’s good that the school told you. As I understand it, most aren’t informing parents of positive cases. Ridiculous that we get told when someone in the class has nits so that we can be alert for symptoms, but not for Covid.
it’s a really unfortunate set of circumstances. I hope she stays as well as possible and that the rest of you do, too. Can you get the money for the holiday back on insurance?It’s good that the school told you. As I understand it, most aren’t informing parents of positive cases. Ridiculous that we get told when someone in the class has nits so that we can be alert for symptoms, but not for Covid.
I got my booster yesterday. I was booked in to have it last week but got turned away from the booking because they said that my medical conditions meant I needed a ‘third primary’ jab rather than a booster, which they were not licensed to give. So I was booked into a different place yesterday and got my shot. Was quick and easy but I’m pretty achey/sore headed today.
How does the feeling after the 3rd jab compare to how you felt after the 1st one? and the 2nd one?
Hard to tell as I’ve been tired/had a migraine/achey due to a symptom flare up 10 days ago, but I think pretty much the same, despite it being a different flavour/brand of vaccine.
Sore arm, headache, very achey and tired, but most of those are how I was already feeling.
Sore arm, headache, very achey and tired, but most of those are how I was already feeling.
Yuck, I hope those pass soon for you.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Yuck, I hope those pass soon for you.
I’m actually feeling much better tonight than I have in the past ten days, so maybe things are going that way. Thank you!
I have my booster booked for Monday..
Your borchestershire?
Booster done. A bit of a sore arm today
My sore arm went on a long while, surprisingly. No other side effects, but I couldn’t sleep on my left for four days afterwards. A small inconvenience to pay for superpowers.
That is how I see it..
At least you can shop in Tesco now
DavPaz wrote:
At least you can shop in Tesco now
Have they lifted my ban?
KovacsC wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
At least you can shop in Tesco now
Have they lifted my ban?
As long as you promise not to wear the Mankini again.
EVER
I promised
Mimi wrote:
My sore arm went on a long while, surprisingly. No other side effects, but I couldn’t sleep on my left for four days afterwards. A small inconvenience to pay for superpowers.
I am at that.. sore arm 3 days and counting
Having a tough few days with this. I got a bit upset the other day with someone telling us that they were going to come to our house to visit on X day, would be staying for lunch, that we’re going to have to learn to just live with Covid. I don’t know if it was the idea of the visit (which I will not enjoy) so much as the loss of any kind of agency or control in my own home. Someone has told me that they will come over, into my home, that it’s time we let people visit indoors (until now we’ve kept visits to outside meetings) and that I am to cook for them, without checking first to see if we had other plans (which we did). I think the thing that’s bothered me most is the idea that because someone else has decided that they are now going to do the whole visiting indoors bit, that it’s automatically time that we do, too, and that they are going to force it on us. There’s been a lot of that throughout, where I’ve found that if someone decides that they are ready for a certain level of exposure they dictate that everyone else should be, too.
Then of course Bean is ill, and has been sent home from school after developing a cough, and has to have a clear PCR before being allowed back to school. I’m absolutely fine with this and it is the right thing, and I’d absolutely want the same if it had been another child that developed the cough, it’s just another stress in the meantime. And this is the 4th cough since September and it feels never ending.
Then of course Bean is ill, and has been sent home from school after developing a cough, and has to have a clear PCR before being allowed back to school. I’m absolutely fine with this and it is the right thing, and I’d absolutely want the same if it had been another child that developed the cough, it’s just another stress in the meantime. And this is the 4th cough since September and it feels never ending.
Mimi wrote:
Having a tough few days with this. I got a bit upset the other day with someone telling us that they were going to come to our house to visit on X day, would be staying for lunch, that we’re going to have to learn to just live with Covid. I don’t know if it was the idea of the visit (which I will not enjoy) so much as the loss of any kind of agency or control in my own home. Someone has told me that they will come over, into my home, that it’s time we let people visit indoors (until now we’ve kept visits to outside meetings) and that I am to cook for them, without checking first to see if we had other plans (which we did). I think the thing that’s bothered me most is the idea that because someone else has decided that they are now going to do the whole visiting indoors bit, that it’s automatically time that we do, too, and that they are going to force it on us. There’s been a lot of that throughout, where I’ve found that if someone decides that they are ready for a certain level of exposure they dictate that everyone else should be, too.
Then of course Bean is ill, and has been sent home from school after developing a cough, and has to have a clear PCR before being allowed back to school. I’m absolutely fine with this and it is the right thing, and I’d absolutely want the same if it had been another child that developed the cough, it’s just another stress in the meantime. And this is the 4th cough since September and it feels never ending.
Then of course Bean is ill, and has been sent home from school after developing a cough, and has to have a clear PCR before being allowed back to school. I’m absolutely fine with this and it is the right thing, and I’d absolutely want the same if it had been another child that developed the cough, it’s just another stress in the meantime. And this is the 4th cough since September and it feels never ending.
Don't let them in. If they enter your house by force, that's literally a crime.
I agree with Mr Paz, I would not let them in. It is my home and I have say who comes in, so should you.
Well, it’s mine and Russell’s, and Russell just replied with ‘ok, we can make that day free’, so I think that boat has sailed somewhat. We’re both conflict averse, so end up going along with a lot of stuff that we don’t want to at times.
The thing is, if they’d said something like: ‘hello, we’d like to see you but wondered how you might feel about meeting up? We’d love to visit but understand that now it’s colder that this would probably mean meeting indoors, and wondered how you might feel about that. We’d understand if you weren’t ready to meet indoors yet, but thought we’d ask.
If you were amenable to meeting indoors, we’d love to see you. We are free on X day, but can discuss diaries when you’ve both had a chat about how you feel’.
Or, honestly, just anything that wasn’t a demand, I’d feel a lot more comfortable and also a lot more confident that they’d do the right thing if they weren’t feeling 100%, etc.
It’s hanging over me like a big rock right now.
See also the people in my life who keep telling me it’s time I started going supermarket shopping again. I’ve not been to a supermarket in about 5 years. That’s not a Covid thing. Go enjoy your Tesco, leave me to my internet groceries.
The thing is, if they’d said something like: ‘hello, we’d like to see you but wondered how you might feel about meeting up? We’d love to visit but understand that now it’s colder that this would probably mean meeting indoors, and wondered how you might feel about that. We’d understand if you weren’t ready to meet indoors yet, but thought we’d ask.
If you were amenable to meeting indoors, we’d love to see you. We are free on X day, but can discuss diaries when you’ve both had a chat about how you feel’.
Or, honestly, just anything that wasn’t a demand, I’d feel a lot more comfortable and also a lot more confident that they’d do the right thing if they weren’t feeling 100%, etc.
It’s hanging over me like a big rock right now.
See also the people in my life who keep telling me it’s time I started going supermarket shopping again. I’ve not been to a supermarket in about 5 years. That’s not a Covid thing. Go enjoy your Tesco, leave me to my internet groceries.
The one little bit where I put my foot down is by absolutely insisting that I will not be cooking. Though I’ve only said this to Russell, so it’s not exactly standing up for myself.
Also, by ‘not cooking’ I mean I’ll serve sandwiches only.
… though I’m also balancing this with the possibility of maybe making a really complex and elaborate meal which keeps me stationed in the kitchen away from it all. It’s a small kitchen so I would have to work alone.
Also, by ‘not cooking’ I mean I’ll serve sandwiches only.
… though I’m also balancing this with the possibility of maybe making a really complex and elaborate meal which keeps me stationed in the kitchen away from it all. It’s a small kitchen so I would have to work alone.
It's a reflection on them that they've put this on you knowing that you're taking precautions to keep yourselves safe, Mimi; not that they're going to take any notice of this by the sounds of it. I'm sorry you feel forced into it. It's always harder when it's family, too.
For what it's worth, I'm 100% with you on supermarket shopping!
For what it's worth, I'm 100% with you on supermarket shopping!
Sorry, but that sort of behaviour would get them added to my shit list. No excuse for imposing their potentially germ ridden walking corpses into your home like that.
It’s already the case, but I think I’m more upset at myself for just feeling like I’m following along behind a situation that I should have some control in. That’s a particular kind of self-loathing.
Mimi wrote:
Well, it’s mine and Russell’s, and Russell just replied with ‘ok, we can make that day free’, so I think that boat has sailed somewhat. We’re both conflict averse, so end up going along with a lot of stuff that we don’t want to at times.
The thing is, if they’d said something like: ‘hello, we’d like to see you but wondered how you might feel about meeting up? We’d love to visit but understand that now it’s colder that this would probably mean meeting indoors, and wondered how you might feel about that. We’d understand if you weren’t ready to meet indoors yet, but thought we’d ask.
If you were amenable to meeting indoors, we’d love to see you. We are free on X day, but can discuss diaries when you’ve both had a chat about how you feel’.
Or, honestly, just anything that wasn’t a demand, I’d feel a lot more comfortable and also a lot more confident that they’d do the right thing if they weren’t feeling 100%, etc.
It’s hanging over me like a big rock right now.
See also the people in my life who keep telling me it’s time I started going supermarket shopping again. I’ve not been to a supermarket in about 5 years. That’s not a Covid thing. Go enjoy your Tesco, leave me to my internet groceries.
The thing is, if they’d said something like: ‘hello, we’d like to see you but wondered how you might feel about meeting up? We’d love to visit but understand that now it’s colder that this would probably mean meeting indoors, and wondered how you might feel about that. We’d understand if you weren’t ready to meet indoors yet, but thought we’d ask.
If you were amenable to meeting indoors, we’d love to see you. We are free on X day, but can discuss diaries when you’ve both had a chat about how you feel’.
Or, honestly, just anything that wasn’t a demand, I’d feel a lot more comfortable and also a lot more confident that they’d do the right thing if they weren’t feeling 100%, etc.
It’s hanging over me like a big rock right now.
See also the people in my life who keep telling me it’s time I started going supermarket shopping again. I’ve not been to a supermarket in about 5 years. That’s not a Covid thing. Go enjoy your Tesco, leave me to my internet groceries.
Sorry, I did not mean it that way. It is your house and it is down to you is in it. It is not great if you are made to feel uncomfortable.
I don’t know what you’re apologising for, Kovacs 
I agree with you completely. I’m just not very good at asserting myself. You said nothing wrong or disagreeable x
I agree with you completely. I’m just not very good at asserting myself. You said nothing wrong or disagreeable x Can anyone order me a can of this?
Even without covid, this would be unacceptably rude, you ASK a person if you want to visit, you don't inform people you will visit!
with covid it goes from rude to self centered and uncaring
I think Russell needs to practice "I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know" so you have time to come up with a response you're both comfortable with
I don't know who this is in relation to you but I would gladly bite them for you (covid safe of course)
with covid it goes from rude to self centered and uncaring
I think Russell needs to practice "I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know" so you have time to come up with a response you're both comfortable with
I don't know who this is in relation to you but I would gladly bite them for you (covid safe of course)
As I'm only just down the road, I can volunteer to "pretend" to be a violent stinking tramp that's set up home on your doorstep. You can stand at the upstairs window and shout to them that you can't get me to move and I've got rabies and to run for their lives. Would that help?
miki wrote:
Even without covid, this would be unacceptably rude, you ASK a person if you want to visit, you don't inform people you will visit!
with covid it goes from rude to self centered and uncaring
I think Russell needs to practice "I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know" so you have time to come up with a response you're both comfortable with
I don't know who this is in relation to you but I would gladly bite them for you (covid safe of course)
with covid it goes from rude to self centered and uncaring
I think Russell needs to practice "I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know" so you have time to come up with a response you're both comfortable with
I don't know who this is in relation to you but I would gladly bite them for you (covid safe of course)
We did talk about it before he replied. I’m not angry at him (if I were, I wouldn’t be posting here
I support him and totally understand it), but I think we both felt resigned in that it seemed to be happening, that it was already decided, but not by us.I think I feel disappointed in the both of us.
Dimrill wrote:
As I'm only just down the road, I can volunteer to "pretend" to be a violent stinking tramp that's set up home on your doorstep. You can stand at the upstairs window and shout to them that you can't get me to move and I've got rabies and to run for their lives. Would that help?
I love you so much Dimmers. You are the best of people. But I’d not be able to stop myself hugging you and then the game would be up x
From my past experience, the first time of saying 'No' was really hard and there were tears and wailing, gnashing of teeth etc.
It got easier but it was always a bit like a tug-of-war. Sometimes easier for us, sometimes harder, and it always took effort.
And then we moved really far away. Uh, not sure I'd recommend that part glibly though.
When I did this, with my mum, Lady T had a few concerns that I initially didn't realise or understand. Basically, If mum asks/demands to come over and I say 'wait til I've checked with Lady T' and then later come back with 'no you can't come over' it looks as if Lady T is the one that has said 'no' and this can also lead to Lady T feeling like the bad guy, and/or like mum being pissed off at Lady T.
I can't remember exactly what alternative we reached over this (there was swearing and then eventually moving far away) but the key was the wording, it became something like 'I'm not sure that works for us, so hold on and I'll let you know'
It got easier but it was always a bit like a tug-of-war. Sometimes easier for us, sometimes harder, and it always took effort.
And then we moved really far away. Uh, not sure I'd recommend that part glibly though.
Quote:
"I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know"
When I did this, with my mum, Lady T had a few concerns that I initially didn't realise or understand. Basically, If mum asks/demands to come over and I say 'wait til I've checked with Lady T' and then later come back with 'no you can't come over' it looks as if Lady T is the one that has said 'no' and this can also lead to Lady T feeling like the bad guy, and/or like mum being pissed off at Lady T.
I can't remember exactly what alternative we reached over this (there was swearing and then eventually moving far away) but the key was the wording, it became something like 'I'm not sure that works for us, so hold on and I'll let you know'
I like the phrase "If only you'd asked me sooner..."
When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.
When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
but the key was the wording, it became something like 'I'm not sure that works for us, so hold on and I'll let you know'
We’ve just been speaking about your post here and this is really pertinent. I think this is what we need to do. To bide our time and show some unity.
I think if Russell were to post he’d admit that the way he deals with difficult conversations is basically to ignore them for as long as he can get away with, then just mumble that he’ll fall into line. I’ve started being able to challenge things but that’s because the people that I interact with largely do not not make these kind of assumptions or demands and we talk about what we are comfortable with and allow each other that space to do so.
I think even if we did eventually after, just the thought in that holding message of ‘hold on, this might not be ok with us, we need to decide and have some say in whether it is or not’ is powerful in itself.
But to be on the safe side I’m looking at houses in Australia.
TheVision wrote:
I like the phrase "If only you'd asked me sooner..."
When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.
When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.
If that were happening in real time I can guarantee my conversation would go
“If only you’d asked me sooner”
“Why, what are you doing?”
“Er……… er……. um……..”
Mimi wrote:
Sir Taxalot wrote:
We’ve just been speaking about your post here and this is really pertinent. I think this is what we need to do. To bide our time and show some unity.
I think if Russell were to post he’d admit that the way he deals with difficult conversations is basically to ignore them for as long as he can get away with, then just mumble that he’ll fall into line. I’ve started being able to challenge things but that’s because the people that I interact with largely do not not make these kind of assumptions or demands and we talk about what we are comfortable with and allow each other that space to do so.
I think even if we did eventually after, just the thought in that holding message of ‘hold on, this might not be ok with us, we need to decide and have some say in whether it is or not’ is powerful in itself.
I think if Russell were to post he’d admit that the way he deals with difficult conversations is basically to ignore them for as long as he can get away with, then just mumble that he’ll fall into line. I’ve started being able to challenge things but that’s because the people that I interact with largely do not not make these kind of assumptions or demands and we talk about what we are comfortable with and allow each other that space to do so.
I think even if we did eventually after, just the thought in that holding message of ‘hold on, this might not be ok with us, we need to decide and have some say in whether it is or not’ is powerful in itself.
It's a real minefield, and i think when I was a bit younger I struggled to see it any other way than mine, but I 'get it' a bit more now and it's something we've worked on over time. Sometimes it still goes to shit even with the best efforts, but I think that if it works two-thirds of the time then that's pretty good, and better than not working or trying at all.
The first 'no' was the hardest, but we have got better over time and also I think my mum has learned to respect it.
In a way similar to how you describe Russ, I also am not massively keen on conflict and will tend to gloss over with 'yeah it's fine/ it wasn't that bad after all' and also move on from things quickly. I stay calm (or perhaps just unbothered) for far too long, but then if I do lose my temper it's not nice (it is very rare tho).
Mimi wrote:
TheVision wrote:
I like the phrase "If only you'd asked me sooner..."
When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.
When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.
If that were happening in real time I can guarantee my conversation would go
“If only you’d asked me sooner”
“Why, what are you doing?”
“Er……… er……. um……..”
haha, yes, been there too. I've also had some very awkward questions like "just say if you don't want me there".... (it's a trap) ....
A bag of canned-responses that you can dip into may help, or may just enrage whoever you are talking to.
It does get easier but never easy.
Just go out for the day, and then say you forgot
Or, “I’ve just come down with a really nasty cough and need to get a test, sorry”
Or, “I’ve just come down with a really nasty cough and need to get a test, sorry”
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
Just go out for the day, and then say you forgot
I can just imagine the absolute fallout of shit if we tried to do that
Quote:
Or, “I’ve just come down with a really nasty cough and need to get a test, sorry”
This may yet be a self-solving problem (though I seriously hope not). Poor Darwin is really bad at the moment. He’s absolutely fine and chipper in himself, but that cough is awful.
Just do what we used to do when the loan lady came around: turn off the lights and hide behind the sofa
DavPaz wrote:
Just do what we used to do when the loan lady came around: turn off the lights and hide behind the sofa
That's what the cyclists did when the drugs testers came around too! Work d, as well
I didn't mean to imply Russell did anything wrong
just that if you manage to put the phone down without giving an answer yet, it helps with feeling more in control and gives you time and also sends a signal to the person that it's not up to them but up to Russell and you
I hope you guys can find some way that works for you
just that if you manage to put the phone down without giving an answer yet, it helps with feeling more in control and gives you time and also sends a signal to the person that it's not up to them but up to Russell and you
I hope you guys can find some way that works for you
miki wrote:
I didn't mean to imply Russell did anything wrong
just that if you manage to put the phone down without giving an answer yet, it helps with feeling more in control and gives you time and also sends a signal to the person that it's not up to them but up to Russell and you
I hope you guys can find some way that works for you
just that if you manage to put the phone down without giving an answer yet, it helps with feeling more in control and gives you time and also sends a signal to the person that it's not up to them but up to Russell and you
I hope you guys can find some way that works for you
No, of course you didn’t! I think I’m just sticking up for him in the face of literally nobody implying he’s done wrong because I want everyone and Russell himself to know that I 100% am with him and this is an ‘us’ inability to say no rather than a Russell inability to say no.