Pub rules
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There's a question on Reddit's ASKUK today about what to do with your empty glass in a pub. I always thought the rule was: by yourself, always return; if with others, only return if you all are only having the one.

Any other pub rules? Is there a regional disparity on any of these? Are we just going to crib content from Reddit now to start conversations? Who knows?
I'll always take glasses back myself if it's empty and I'm heading to the bar for another / on my way out.

I've not been to a pub for ages :(
I smash my glass on the ground and shout for another
DavPaz wrote:
I smash my glass on the ground and shout for another


Is that the local custom? I don't want to mark myself out as a tourist when I'm next down that way.
Kern wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
I smash my glass on the ground and shout for another


Is that the local custom? I don't want to mark myself out as a tourist when I'm next down that way.


You'll blend in. I do.
Return glasses if on my own, or if group buying another round.
Only tip barmaid if criteria are met and very rarely.
MaliA wrote:
Return glasses if on my own, or if group buying another round.
Only tip barmaid if criteria are met and very rarely.

Do you tip if you eat in a pub?
DBSnappa wrote:
Do you tip if you eat in a pub?


If paid upfront at the bar, no. If table service (thus making it NOT A PUB), then yes.
DBSnappa wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Return glasses if on my own, or if group buying another round.
Only tip barmaid if criteria are met and very rarely.

Do you tip if you eat in a pub?


Yes. Generally by way of apology,. 5% more if pretty.
DBSnappa wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Return glasses if on my own, or if group buying another round.
Only tip barmaid if criteria are met and very rarely.

Do you tip if you eat in a pub?

No, I keep my plate as level as possible.
Zardoz wrote:
DBSnappa wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Return glasses if on my own, or if group buying another round.
Only tip barmaid if criteria are met and very rarely.

Do you tip if you eat in a pub?

No, I keep my plate as level as possible.


Look at Mr FancyPants!
I always try and make the effort to return glasses to the bar when leaving, and I’ll even return tables that other twats have left on their tables.

Just polite, innit?

See also - clearing your tray away yourself when eating at a McDonalds, KFC, IKEA etc.
GazChap wrote:

See also - clearing your tray away yourself when eating at a McDonalds, KFC, IKEA etc.


Yeah, this is a must surely?
Here's a personal one.

If you date a landlord's daughter, don't be surprised when his regulars tell him that they've just seen his <insert daughter's name> in another local pub with that hippy lad she's knocking around with.

If you're lucky, her dad will be the sort to say, 'Yes, I know where she is and who she's with,' even if he doesn't.
HOWEVER, don't do this in coffee shops. Most do their clearing straight to the kitchen out back, and don't have counter space for dirty plates and mugs. All you're doing there is forcing someone to clear down the counter so they can get on with serving customers.
Don't take your dirty things to the counter, not don't date the owner's daughter.
Cras wrote:
Don't take your dirty things to the counter, not don't date the owner's daughter.


Instructions unclear, now dating dishes daughter.
Cras wrote:
Don't take your dirty things to the counter, not don't date the owner's daughter.


Dirty the owner's daughter, got it.
GazChap wrote:
....and I’ll even return tables that other twats have left on their tables.


The entertainment in your local must be lacking if they're stacking tables for fun.
Warhead wrote:
Here's a personal one.

If you date a landlord's daughter, don't be surprised when his regulars tell him that they've just seen his <insert daughter's name> in another local pub with that hippy lad she's knocking around with.

If you're lucky, her dad will be the sort to say, 'Yes, I know where she is and who she's with,' even if he doesn't.

Are you the landlord or the hippy lad?
Mimi wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Here's a personal one.

If you date a landlord's daughter, don't be surprised when his regulars tell him that they've just seen his <insert daughter's name> in another local pub with that hippy lad she's knocking around with.

If you're lucky, her dad will be the sort to say, 'Yes, I know where she is and who she's with,' even if he doesn't.

Are you the landlord or the hippy lad?


Or that sitcom with craig Cash that was great set in the pub, Early Doors
devilman wrote:
The entertainment in your local must be lacking if they're stacking tables for fun.

Broseley, innit... not been that long that they got electricity.
MaliA wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Here's a personal one.

If you date a landlord's daughter, don't be surprised when his regulars tell him that they've just seen his <insert daughter's name> in another local pub with that hippy lad she's knocking around with.

If you're lucky, her dad will be the sort to say, 'Yes, I know where she is and who she's with,' even if he doesn't.

Are you the landlord or the hippy lad?


Or that sitcom with craig Cash that was great set in the pub, Early Doors


I was the hippy, Mrs. W was the landlord’s daughter, and for Early Doors they could have just filmed what went on in their pub in the early evenings. We recognised all those types of drinkers and the coppers popping in for a quick one, er, I mean to check that all was well.
A lot of the pubs round here are quite small and nice, with friendly staff so I will take mine back (and the rest from the group if we are doing rounds). I'll also take the empties back just as we leave - it just seems a bit rude not to.

When I was younger, at some of the larger chain pubs (like wetherspoons) we'd just leave the empty glasses on the table - that was just the way it was, barely anyone took glasses back. *shrugs*
A lot of pubs used to have pot men, whose job it was to clear the tables of empties and empty the ash trays continuously. Often some old geezer doing it for free beer or a bit of pin money. There may be some that still do.
I used to do that at the British Legion in Surbiton when I was around 15/16.

Shit, it was.
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