Bits and Bobs 49
The end is coming !
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Bingley pensioner jailed for obstructing Isle of Man TT Races

Crikey. I thought this was "hay bales in the road", not "being a knob"
Holy shit. Jail and a 5 year ban, and it wasn't even when a race was underway!
Mr Dave wrote:
On the 29th of January at just past ten in the morning, I left the following memo to myself:

Quote:
Octopus
Grim...
Goose
Craster
Banana bunch
Horse


To my past self: What? What even is this? I don't remember.


It's two rounds of Fuck / Marry / Kill.
Cras wrote:
Holy shit. Jail and a 5 year ban, and it wasn't even when a race was underway!


We don't fuck around.

Some fool on a bike overtook the 'road open' car last night. After the racing is finished and the track cleared of debris etc. they send a car out, and once it passes you the road behind it is then available for the public again, so if you drive off in front of it you're illegally riding on closed roads. He handed himself in, probably hoping for a lighter sentence so we'll see how that goes!
flis wrote:
Cras wrote:
Holy shit. Jail and a 5 year ban, and it wasn't even when a race was underway!


We don't fuck around.

Some fool on a bike overtook the 'road open' car last night. After the racing is finished and the track cleared of debris etc. they send a car out, and once it passes you the road behind it is then available for the public again, so if you drive off in front of it you're illegally riding on closed roads. He handed himself in, probably hoping for a lighter sentence so we'll see how that goes!


Birchings all round!
Fucking BT. Just realised that I've been charged a year for an unused sim that I was told over the phone had been cancelled and they say that there's nothing they can do. They offered to pay the £8.64 cancellation charge as a goodwill gesture but only if I didn't want to escalate the complaint. Piss taking cunts.
Escalate! ESCALATE!
I did. They're going to listen to the recordings and get back to me in 12 days. In a way anything I get back is a bonus, but nobody pays *me* off for £8.64 They're going to need to at least double that or I'll take them all down with me.
I had a fun trip to Morrisons this morning. We had paid and gone out to the car park when I saw a scruffy looking chap scuttling away carrying a bag of shopping. Soon after a young girl that works there came out looking to see where he’d gone, so I asked if he’d nicked something. Yes.

I don’t like thieves so I set off after him, jumping over a wall, crossing a busy road through a perfect gap in traffic and caught him a few hundred meters away in a nearby alleyway. I got an absolutely perfect armlock on him first go and started marching him back to the shop, amusingly while he was still carrying the bag. I think he was that shocked to be chased and caught he didn’t really struggle but he was complaining I’d hurt him. :)

Anyway, a short while later the girl from the shop arrived, and she was more concerned about getting the goods back. I did offer to return him and wait for the police to arrive, but she said to let him go, so after a bit more pressure on his arm, off he went. I’m slightly annoyed I didn’t think to get a photo first, but the shop staff were all really grateful and I got a bottle of wine for my trouble.

Helen was also a bit surprised as I’d just abandoned her in the car park with the trolley.
Good work. Above and beyond.
Went beach, very briefly, on whistle stop trip to check something in house we wish to buy out.
I've certainly never seen a better microwave button than this
What the fuck does it do?
Boring answer, from Panasonic:
Quote:
Chaos defrost is a system that improves the auto weight defrosting process.

Chaos defrost uses random pulses of power to achieve a quicker and more even defrost within the food. This would only be used for Bread, Meat Items or Meat Joints.

Reddit soon turns into animal diet discussion. https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments ... ive_never/
And what in the worls is ‘panacrunch?’
Warhead wrote:
And what in the worls is ‘panacrunch?’


Found it. It’s ‘used for the grill and oven. It's especially good for use in combi mode, where the pan absorbs microwaves and turns them into heat to cook the base of your food; the grill cooks from above.’
krazywookie wrote:
I've certainly never seen a better microwave button than this

Haha! My Ma is up from London for a couple of days, and last night Russell and I went out alone (as in, without Darwin, for the first time since he was born.)

I’d made them a bolognese, but it needed heating in the microwave (we were supposed to be going out Friday night, but had to postpone) and so started explaining where everything was and the way to use the microwave. ‘I’m pretty sure we can work out where everything is and how it works!’ they chuckled. And off we go.

When we return, Ma thanks us for the food, but stepdad is chuckling and tells us things did not go to plan. Firstly, they couldn’t find fridge, so had been searching all over the house: bin... shoe cupboards... freezer... then couldn’t work the microwave because of all the buttons. I wish to goodness that it had a CHAOS button now. I may just re-sticker all the buttons in my house to say CHAOS.

(They eventually found the fridge, disguised in the cupboard beneath the oven, and settled on heating the bolognese at 30 second intervals and letting it beep each time. Pillocks).
We couldn't decide if pressing it would cause chaos or if it was a button for heating some already existing chaos but yes, we both agreed, we need a chaos button.
Did you buy the chaos microwave? If so: heroes.
No, it was about £300.

For a MICROWAVE
We're just going to have to get the label maker out
Mine has a chaos defrost button, i've never used it.
Do people actually defrost stuff in the microwave these days? Isn't a microwave basically a £100 baked bean heater?
krazywookie wrote:
We're just going to have to get the label maker out

Most hero!
Trooper wrote:
Mine has a chaos defrost button, i've never used it.
Do people actually defrost stuff in the microwave these days? Isn't a microwave basically a £100 baked bean heater?

Ours is convection oven and grill, and the wall-set oven we have is awful, so ours is our main oven (though, my mum sent me that halogen oven which now does all of the biggest cooking chores)
Faroe Island postal and other services. Amazing. One island only has two resident families and some islands are connected by tunnels, with more being built. How the hell do they afford to build tunnels and have mail delivered by helicopter with a population of only about 50,000?
Friends of ours popped by earlier bringing their Bassett hound puppy. Its balls were the size of grapefruits. Christ alive.
MaliA wrote:
Friends of ours popped by earlier bringing their Bassett hound puppy. Its balls were the size of grapefruits. Christ alive.

This may explain the depth of their bark when fully grown. It sounds like they’re plugged into the earths core as a boom box
MaliA wrote:
Friends of ours popped by earlier bringing their Bassett hound puppy. Its balls were the size of grapefruits. Christ alive.

This may explain the depth of their bark when fully grown. It sounds like they’re plugged into the earths core as a boom box
For the first time in my life, and hopefully last, I was momentarily curious as to the size of Gaywood’s testes.
ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:
For the first time in my life, and hopefully last, I was momentarily curious as to the size of Gaywood’s testes.

Charmingly asymmetric.
How come I still have working WiFi on the train while I'm in a tunnel?
Tunnel's wired for coverage of whichever network the train WiFi uses? Seems unlikely but I don't have another answer .
Did you confirm actual internet connectivity or just notice that the wifi icon was still showing as being connected?
markg wrote:
Did you confirm actual internet connectivity or just notice that the wifi icon was still showing as being connected?

Strong point. You're never going to lose wifi to the train's network just because you and the train are in a tunnel. Whether it has any cellular for backhaul is a different question.
There are two WiFi whatnot. One on the front of the train and one on the back. Out in the open both work. Entering a tunnel, the front one switches off had the back one is used as it is still in the open. Exiting the tunnel the back one switches off and the front one switches back on as it emerges.
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
I had a fun trip to Morrisons this morning. We had paid and gone out to the car park when I saw a scruffy looking chap scuttling away carrying a bag of shopping. Soon after a young girl that works there came out looking to see where he’d gone, so I asked if he’d nicked something. Yes.

I don’t like thieves so I set off after him, jumping over a wall, crossing a busy road through a perfect gap in traffic and caught him a few hundred meters away in a nearby alleyway. I got an absolutely perfect armlock on him first go and started marching him back to the shop, amusingly while he was still carrying the bag. I think he was that shocked to be chased and caught he didn’t really struggle but he was complaining I’d hurt him. :)

Anyway, a short while later the girl from the shop arrived, and she was more concerned about getting the goods back. I did offer to return him and wait for the police to arrive, but she said to let him go, so after a bit more pressure on his arm, off he went. I’m slightly annoyed I didn’t think to get a photo first, but the shop staff were all really grateful and I got a bottle of wine for my trouble.

Helen was also a bit surprised as I’d just abandoned her in the car park with the trolley.


Good Work! I'd have been a bit annoyed that after all that chasing and arm-locking they didn't call the cops, but I imagine they can't be bothered with the paperwork for a bag of shopping. Still a bottle of wine ain't too shabby!
Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
markg wrote:
Did you confirm actual internet connectivity or just notice that the wifi icon was still showing as being connected?

Strong point. You're never going to lose wifi to the train's network just because you and the train are in a tunnel. Whether it has any cellular for backhaul is a different question.


I posted that message while I was in the tunnel, and refreshed the page and it appeared.
I tested again on the way back, the tunnel is about 20 seconds long, the train is 12 carriages, travelling at approx 80mph I expect, maybe a bit slower.

I lose internet connectivity for about 3 seconds in the middle of the tunnel. WiFi signal stays strong all the way through, as expected.

Without doing the math, that seems impressive.
I reckon there will be WiFi holes drilled into the roof of the tunnel every couple of yards.
They run network signal through pantograph
MaliA wrote:
They run network signal through pantograph


You and your fancy electric trains...
MaliA wrote:
They run network signal through pantograph

I heard that the newer models are moving to panacrunch.
Squirt wrote:
MaliA wrote:
They run network signal through pantograph

I heard that the newer models are moving to panacrunch.


Chaos on Northern.
Downloaded Fortnite a couple of days ago - it's surprisingly addictive for a one map, one trick pony of a game.
They probably are using microwaves.
I didn’t think travelling could get any worse, but not only am I flying BA, but the flight’s delayed and they’ve switched the aircraft for an old unupgraded 747. OH THE HUGE MANATEE
I love big old 747s. Proper planes.
Yes, they are undoubtedly a style icon from the outside. On the inside they’re currently a throwback to the 90s. I think the TV screen is actually a miniature CRT.
Oh and we’ve got some small kids again. Joy. This week is going to be horrible. I’m flying back Thursday night so at least I’ll have my weekend, even if knackered.

D&D is for Nerds is the best podcast.
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