Why was everyone spaffing their britches over this again? It’s so, so ... tedious and boring.
The Good: Graphics are great and the voice acting is mostly great with some almost AMSR stuff going on. The story is vaguely interesting I guess. The combat is simple and easy to pick up. The animations are good. There’s some nice texture work. The faces and facial expressions on the lead in particular look stunning. It looks a bit like and plays a tiny bit like the nuGod of War.
The Bad: ... except it really doesn’t, cause the combat is basic AF and get repetitive very fast. It desperately needed an action director to come in and turn this shell of a game into something special. The puzzles need jettisoning first: tedious, boring and mundane. You have to look at a door for a shape and then find the shape in the environment. Again. And again. And again. Or maybe you’ll have to look at a thing at the right angle. Yes, it’s children’s “fit the block into the right hole” for adults. They should have just got rid of all that shit and went full DmC (again) for the combat. And done more combat. There’s some here but it just pops up every now and again. The main focus of the game are these shitty puzzles that aren’t challenging, aren’t interesting and serve no purpose for the story. And I don’t know what all this delete the save stuff was because I haven’t died once. There’s no health, no stamina, no pick ups...you just have to survive your enemy encounter and then you’ll have another hour of wandering around. Oh and if you like getting lost and wandering around - there’s a labyrinth - but your run button suddenly doesn’t work and you can only walk around like Marcus Fenix with a cotton bud stuffed in his ear because, well, erm, there’s no reason really, just cause. There’s a daft section that takes place in the dark and you’ve got to feel your way out...actually, you turn your right stick and the Xbox pad simulates a “breeze” you can follow ... by vibrating like a rampant rabbit turned to max setting being aggressively inflicted on a swollen clit. Oh, but you can actually see and the background is just poorly blurred. It’s such a nonsense it drops the pretence about 5 minutes into walking slow as fuck as you walk around monsters that you can hear. Only, there’s no need to listen cause you can see them clear as fucking day. I wish they had tried what they obviously intended and just had the screen black apart from the main character or something. Just...stupid.