I've had chronic bronchitis since I was born, ups and downs, ups where I felt fine without any meds at all, downs to being resuscitated once
over the years convincing doctors of the fact that my main problem is recurring bacterial infections on top of the asthma has been a nightmare, especially in such a antibiotics conservative country as NL
the last two years I have been under lung specialists care again and I have never regretted anything more, as I am worse off then when I walked in
4 weeks ago this came to a new low as I asked for prednisone (which I've had dozens of times) and this one said he wouldn't give it to me because of the side effects (no shit) and when I explained that I was very upset by his decision he looked me straight in the eye and said "just trust that I'm doing this for your own good" the only thing missing was an actual pat on my head, bloody patronising godcomplex man!
So I should have let him have it, being a competent adult not a toddler, but my anxiety and depression hit me like an anvil so I just wanted to leave the room and die
he made a phone follow up appointment for 4 weeks later (today) but couldn't give me a time of day he would call
so for the last 4 weeks I have been absolutely sick with worry because I feel like my life depends on the whim of this man, sleeping rotten, still feeling crap, having this conversation with the guy in my head over and over, been absolutely frustrated with myself that I felt this way for 4 weeks instead of a normal human who would leave the worrying till the day of the phone call, fighting the dread etc
So it's easy to imagine how I've felt today, physically ill waiting for the call that eventually came at 15.45
and then it was a pretty reasonable conversation and he agreed to give me doxycycline (which I wanted) and a 10 day course of prednisolone (albeit a lower dose then usual)
so I feel like an arse again for the wasted worry time, though I still absolutely hate the feeling of relying on the whim of a stranger for the ability to breathe
the times I've been tempted to just order meds from china...