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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 17:05 
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MaliA wrote:
The Big One requested a house rabbit, this morning. It is suspected that she has been briefed by Fifth Columnists.


Real shame about those allergies, eh?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 17:08 
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"Accidentally" leave this film playing. They'll soon change their mind.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 17:17 
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Kern wrote:
MaliA wrote:
The Big One requested a house rabbit, this morning. It is suspected that she has been briefed by Fifth Columnists.


Real shame about those allergies, eh?


Yeah, that card is still in hand.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 17:18 
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Bobbyaro wrote:
I am staying in a hotel room, and there is some pipe, airlock/Aircon feedback noises going on. It sounds like something from a GSYBE album! It is kinda awesome, but I feel it will be annoying come sleep time.


I used to stay at the Ibis in Stevenage a lot when I was running courses down there, and at night it was like being on the bridge of the USS Enterprise unless you were at the opposite end of the corridor from the lift lobby. The dog damn lifts would go 'Whooosh, clunk' randomly all fucking night long. And apart from that, the Tesco store next door use to take deliveries in the small hours and the drivers would ring the doorbell on the loading bay, which rang just like an old fashioned fire alarm bell. I stayed there so often that I eventually managed to sleep through it all.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:14 
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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:17 
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I just had to call a company in France as I've ordered some games that haven't turned up. The guy on the other end of the phone spoke English brilliantly.

I feel a bit dumb now...


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:18 
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TheVision wrote:
I just had to call a company in France as I've ordered some games that haven't turned up. The guy on the other end of the phone spoke English brilliantly.

I feel a bit dumb now...

Tête de merde.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:24 
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DavPaz wrote:
TheVision wrote:
I just had to call a company in France as I've ordered some games that haven't turned up. The guy on the other end of the phone spoke English brilliantly.

I feel a bit dumb now...

Tête de merde.


I'm guessing that's the only bit of GCSE French you remember as well then?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:27 
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TheVision wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
TheVision wrote:
I just had to call a company in France as I've ordered some games that haven't turned up. The guy on the other end of the phone spoke English brilliantly.

I feel a bit dumb now...

Tête de merde.


I'm guessing that's the only bit of GCSE French you remember as well then?

Fermé la bouche!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:29 
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Mon Dieu! Le chat est mort!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:32 
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Le singe est sur la branche!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:35 
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Le singe est sur la autobus!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 
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Brilliant... Also, in fairness to them, they're sending out new games for me today and they're going to include a free gift for the inconvenience which is nice of them. I guess they're cowering in the wake of my bargaining power now that Brexit is happening.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:41 
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Grim... wrote:
Le singe est sur la autobus!

...et Sandra Bullock est dans l'autobus!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:46 
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Il y a une bombe dans l'autobus!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:49 
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Gogmagog

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Nothing I like more than brushing up on a foreign tongue.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:51 
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MaliA wrote:
Nothing I like more than brushing up on a foreign tongue.


Heh.

Thinking of Samantha, I only realised this week the double meaning in the title of the ISIHAC round where they have to carry on singing after a record fades out.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:21 
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Can't abide his music, but always admired Dan Le Sac's moniker.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:44 
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https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/d ... en-to-kill

Interesting article about those two girls that stabbed their friend to get on Slenderman's good side.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 13:07 
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MaliA wrote:
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/dec/07/slender-man-into-the-woods-how-an-online-bogeyman-inspired-children-to-kill

Interesting article about those two girls that stabbed their friend to get on Slenderman's good side.


Fascinating, thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 13:17 
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Yep. Fascinating and scary all at the same time.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 14:49 
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TheVision wrote:
Fascinating and scary all at the same time.

Le title de ton "Sex-Tape".

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 16:04 
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MaliA wrote:
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/dec/07/slender-man-into-the-woods-how-an-online-bogeyman-inspired-children-to-kill

Interesting article about those two girls that stabbed their friend to get on Slenderman's good side.


This was a great read. Especially the twist at the end of Juliet's story.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 20:04 
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https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/lo ... e-officer/

I attended this incident as entry control officer, we were waiting for him to set the place on fire then at about 22:30 the cops flash-banged and stormed his flat. Twas an evening of entertainment.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:26 
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A message from our Big Cheese

Quote:
Dear colleague

Earlier this year, President Supreme Cheese declared that compliance - and, in particular, the prevention of bid-rigging - was one of the most important elements of management. He has now also recorded an interview on the subject, which I strongly encourage you to watch and/or read the English script.

As you know, we operate in almost every country in the world, including areas where bribery and corruption risks are significant. I would like to remind you that we have zero tolerance for wrongdoing, even in areas of high risk where we must be particularly vigilant in our business dealings.

This Saturday, December 9, is designated by the United Nations as “International Anti-Corruption Day”. This day is intended to raise international awareness of the importance of honesty in business dealings, and to showcase innovative ways to fight against corruption.

We are accordingly designating the week of December 11 as “Compliance Week”. We will be launching a refreshed version of our mandatory online compliance training. This training will help you to identify and handle problematic situations, especially those related to bribery, antitrust, and export control. Look out for details on this, and other announcements regarding compliance-related activities, during the week.

We require every one of you, no matter what role you perform, to be familiar with the local laws, internal guidelines and compliance risks in your respective country or sector. Accordingly, all managers should have discussions with their teams, to ensure that everyone has done the training and has the opportunity to ask any compliance-related questions. Please speak with management or the appropriate function (such as EMEIA Compliance, Export Control, Legal & Commercial, Customs, etc.) if you need support.

Thank you for doing your part to embed compliance in our daily business.


The EMEIA Big Cheese


I occasionally get offered a free coffee, fruit or toast on site. Do you think this constitutes an attempt at bribery to elicit a higher priority service?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:33 
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Gogmagog

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If I go out with my contact from A Particular Place, I can't even buy them a drink. Not that I would, go out with them.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:53 
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Warhead wrote:
A message from our Big Cheese

I occasionally get offered a free coffee, fruit or toast on site. Do you think this constitutes an attempt at bribery to elicit a higher priority service?


Well you’d know if you took the training :)

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:57 
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Gogmagog

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Old Man Afterthought tells a story of his need to ship 3 new Jeeps from Place A to Place B. Place B was known for the interesting view of import taxes and their application its customs officers held, so he put 4 Jeeps on the boat. All three on the customs checked manifest arrived at Place B.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:00 
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MaliA wrote:
If I go out with my contact from A Particular Place, I can't even buy them a drink. Not that I would, go out with them.


That's pretty daft. Normally there's a value figure attached before such things are questioned (for us it's $100) and even then it would have to be viewed as having leveraged attached, such as if they were currently in negotiations to choose a new supplier.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:00 
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I don't understand, he put an extra one on there to see if it would get stolen and it did?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:01 
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markg wrote:
I don't understand, he put an extra one on there to see if it would get stolen and it did?


I suspect he put an extra one on there to make sure the original three made it to their destination

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:07 
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Cras wrote:
markg wrote:
I don't understand, he put an extra one on there to see if it would get stolen and it did?


I suspect he put an extra one on there to make sure the original three made it to their destination


Yes. 4th probably insured.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:07 
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I thought it was that they would see that there was an extra one not on the manifest and think "ah free car!"


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:09 
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Gogmagog

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I think they altered it. I'll ask for more details, but I forgot why I told this story now.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 14:58 
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Just received a couple of Christmas cards from aunties. I still instinctively shake them in case they've sneaked a tenner in them, despite that not happening for about 25 years.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 14:59 
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Stop shaking your aunties.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 14:59 
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devilman wrote:
Stop shaking your aunties.


:DD


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 17:12 
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Shaking down your aunties for a tenner. I thought better of you.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 17:34 
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Giphy "shake it out":
https://media3.giphy.com/media/l3q2AbggwMAE7RFra/giphy-loop.mp4


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:14 
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Mr Russell wrote:
Warhead wrote:
A message from our Big Cheese

I occasionally get offered a free coffee, fruit or toast on site. Do you think this constitutes an attempt at bribery to elicit a higher priority service?


Well you’d know if you took the training :)


I’ve taken the earlier versions and will take this one too, and The Rulez are essentially not very different from the ones we had in the civil service. You may think that an low level engineer might not have anything to worry about respect of bribery, but if I was swapping out a part that had clearly been damaged by a customer, they might offer some kind of inducement not to report it as such to avoid being charged for the replacement, or when it’s a ‘no fault found’ call e.g. they hadn’t checked whether a ‘faulty’ printer was plugged in at the mains, for which they are charged for the uneccesary visit. I haven’t been offered anything yet,but I could be.

I did get given a bottle of single malt by the director of the regional DTI Fraud Team a few years ago, after sorting out a lot of niggling I.T. problems they had, but that was just thanks for a job well done, and after the event, so didn’t infringe any regs.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:42 
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Yo Grim... Pages 7 and 19 of the Switch thread appear to be bust.

Edit- they might be best, but I don't know, because I can't read them.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:12 
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Warhead wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Warhead wrote:
A message from our Big Cheese

I occasionally get offered a free coffee, fruit or toast on site. Do you think this constitutes an attempt at bribery to elicit a higher priority service?


Well you’d know if you took the training :)


I’ve taken the earlier versions and will take this one too, and The Rulez are essentially not very different from the ones we had in the civil service. You may think that an low level engineer might not have anything to worry about respect of bribery, but if I was swapping out a part that had clearly been damaged by a customer, they might offer some kind of inducement not to report it as such to avoid being charged for the replacement, or when it’s a ‘no fault found’ call e.g. they hadn’t checked whether a ‘faulty’ printer was plugged in at the mains, for which they are charged for the uneccesary visit. I haven’t been offered anything yet,but I could be.

I did get given a bottle of single malt by the director of the regional DTI Fraud Team a few years ago, after sorting out a lot of niggling I.T. problems they had, but that was just thanks for a job well done, and after the event, so didn’t infringe any regs.

Our bribery training mentions something like “would you mind or be embarrassed if everyone else in the office knew you’d received this gift instead of them” which seems to tug nicely at the bribery guilt heart strings.

Doesn’t stop me enjoying the pastries HP bring in every time we see them though.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 14:46 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Somewhat tearful goodbye with Ruth’s folks. We’re nearly at Heathrow... eeeeep.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 14:54 
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Exciting!!

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 15:12 
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Gogmagog

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Smash it, kiddo.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 15:57 
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Bloody emigrants, going over there stealing their jobs.

Good luck! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 16:04 
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Oh! Wishing you many adventures and a rewarding and fulfilling time for you all!!!! xxxxxxxx

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 16:50 
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Mr Russell wrote:
Our bribery training mentions something like “would you mind or be embarrassed if everyone else in the office knew you’d received this gift instead of them” which seems to tug nicely at the bribery guilt heart strings.

Doesn’t stop me enjoying the pastries HP bring in every time we see them though.


That basically says "if you have no scruples, it's fine to help yourself"


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 17:00 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Thanks all. The kids are currently making the most of the free food in the Singapore lounge AND the Air Canada lounge...

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 17:22 
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Gogmagog

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Dr Zoidberg wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Our bribery training mentions something like “would you mind or be embarrassed if everyone else in the office knew you’d received this gift instead of them” which seems to tug nicely at the bribery guilt heart strings.

Doesn’t stop me enjoying the pastries HP bring in every time we see them though.


That basically says "if you have no scruples, it's fine to help yourself"


"Don't hate the player, hate the game"

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