You see, from my point of view, the extreme end of metal (and hardcore punk, too) are a sort of anti-music. It's an artform that despises its listeners, and doesn't want to give them anything remotely enjoyable. The fact that people do enjoy it suggests that either there's some dick-waving going on (which happens in all music, my music is heavier/more avant-garde/more political/faster/crap-unless-you've-taken-lots-of-pills-ier than yours, you prole), some people are wired up wrong in the head, or people train themselves to enjoy it. I suspect all three types are present in the fandom.
Now, personally, I came to guitar music late. I was into electro/rave/new wave/ska and stuff like that when I was a kid, then got into a bit of D'n'B, and stuff like that. Up until 1998 the only rock band I liked was Motorhead, and that was because of the CNC dance remix of Ace of Spades. Then dance music shoved its head so far up its arse that the whole thing exploded in a shower of shite.
Afterwards, gradually, I was exposed to bands like System of a Down, Korn, Limp Bizkit (yes, I know, but shut up a minute) that I realised I liked, not because of their heavyness or lack of it, but because they had interesting rhythm sections. Beats and bass. Mmmm. Then someone leant me a Marilyn Manson CD. Waitaminute, this is just Adam and the Ants for the rock generation. Eventually, I realised that yes, I like rock music, metal and stuff, and for a while devoured all sorts of rocky/metally/punky stuff. Metallica, Pitchshifter, NOFX, Rancid, Skindred, Soil, Sublime, Mad Capsule Markets, Drowning Pool. Some duffers (One Minute Silence, anyone? thought not.) but I've assembled a reasonable collection of rocky/metally type stuff. But I like music with hooks, music that you can dance to, music that has a sense of humour, music that doesn't hate me. Music that wants me to have a good time. Whats the point of music, except to be enjoyed?