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 Post subject: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 21:24 
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Board Mother

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 11357
Location: Mount Olympus
I won't be around in time to post a joke tomorrow, so I'll post any I come up with in this thread and you can use them as you will.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 21:26 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

Joined: 17th Dec, 2008
Posts: 8293
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a
Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an
Indian, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a Dane,
several Americans (including a Hawaiian
and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Slovak,
an Australian, an Egyptian, a New Zealander,
a Japanese, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Uzbek,
a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a
Malaysian, a Croatian, a Cypriot, a Pole,
a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a
Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a
Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech,
an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran,
a Panamanian, an Andorran, a Venezuelan, an
Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Israeli,
an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Liechtensteiner,
a Moldovan, a Syrian, an Aruban, a Mongolian,
a Portuguese, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Cook
Islander, a Norfolk Islander, a Haitian, a
Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Georgian, a Bahaman,
a Tajikistani, an Armenian, an Albanian, a
Samoan, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin
Islander, a Belarusian, a Canadian, a Cuban, an Azerbaijani,
a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a
Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman,
an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Serb,
a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Belgian, a
Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and two
Africans walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maitre d', "but
you can't come in here without a Thai."


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:08 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27343
Location: Kidbrooke
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

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Dr. Dre

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:24 
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Board Mother

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 11357
Location: Mount Olympus
Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.

Maybe I'll just stick to photographs. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:09 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27343
Location: Kidbrooke
I think we go with APOD's, as it is awesome.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:10 
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Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 25594
OK - I am rubbish with jokes.

I love jokes, I just can't remember them! I heard a cracking joke the other day, and tried to remember it the whole of ten minutes whilst Russell was on his way home, but by the time he got here it had gone from my brain. Gnngghhh.

OK, so we need to decide who's joke is funniest, then publish it close to 1pm.

who is going to be in control of publishing the joke?

Let's select one person. I can do it, but I need your help selecting what joke is the funniest among the ones we have put and will put here.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:17 
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Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 25594
Someone sent me this the other day :shrug:

One day a guy is out for a walk when a frog calls out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.

A little while later the frog calls out to him again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for a whole week." The guy takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to his pocket.

A little while later the frog cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want! Forever!" Again the guy takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asks, "What is the matter with you?! I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you forever and do anything you want! Why won't you kiss me!?" The guy says, "Listen, I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:55 
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so far I will be posting APoD joke as the final one if nobody else makes a call...

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:56 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27343
Location: Kidbrooke
Go for it

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