Be Excellent To Each Other

I don't fit.

Airasia have started doing 'No children' cabin sections on longhaul flights, and it looks like it may be the beginning of a trend. I for one, welcome this.

I'd imagine they'll get told they can't do that at some point.

The building I used to live in couldn't actually say it had a 'no children' policy, but was clearly desperate to. I had a natter with someone still there the other day, and we're still the only people there that had a kid

No children cabin sections, rather than no children flights. I reckon they'd be OK with that as a policy. I also imagine they'll charge more for that section

I guess you can get 'no children' hotels, right?

There are loads of 'no children holiday destinations', so I guess so. Sandals are like this, aren't they?

The Cavey that exists in my head has definitely been to Hedonism, I reckon.

The real one has too mate, and is still very much In Da House.

Haha! Spot on!

more

1, The "Oh look, I just got an expensive flashy new gadget and I'm going to do my darnedest to make sure everyone in the carriage knows about this." Most commonly seen after a new iPad or iPhone is released, but hardly limited to that, and desperately tedious. (Particularly when siri was new. A day or two after the 4s as released, there was someone who was deliberately using siri as loudly as possible to show off his new iPhone. The man who then sat next to him and then asked his phone equally loudly "Does talking to your phone make you look like a twat", only to have the phone reply 'yes' got a fair amount of laughter from the rest of the train)

2, The "I speak foreignese so I can talk about whatever I want without you understanding" Except of course when I can understand exactly what you're saying. One time a couple of Japanese girls got on the tube and started talking amongst themselves about me after I smiled at them - one rather complimentary, one really very much not so much, neither saying something you would do if the person you were talking about could understand. When my stop came up next I made sure to amuse myself by thanking them for their comments... the reaction amused me greatly.

Oh and 3, The crazy bald guy who gets on what used to be my usual train home and spends much of his time muttering under his breath about how much he dislikes me. I now try and get an earlier train if I can.

Another crazy guy on the way home today This time a large well dressed South African guy, going on nonsensically about sex, violence and racism in a loud voice, to no-one in particular.
There seems to be something about the Circle line that attracts them.

This thread has reminded me how much I used to hate commuting.

The problem with commuting is that a minority of the general public, albeit an annoyingly large minority, are absolutely intolerable cunts.

I haven't commuted on public transport ever since I came to the IOM, but we do quite often use the bus to get around on a Saturday trip out with AE Jnr. I have lost count of the number of times I've had to ask a group of children/teenagers to stop effing and blinding two rows behind us because it's inappropriate language for a public place.

Them playing their godawful music through the world's worst speakers on their mobile phones I can live with, but please don't make every other word 'fucking' on public transport. It's just not nice.

The scene: Your hero Grim... is on a busy bus with the Grimlet. Some kids are playing music on their phones.
The driver sticks his head out of his little door at one of the stops, and calls down the bus.
Driver: Can you turn the music off, lads?
[They do]
Old man sitting nearby: TURN THAT BLOODY SHIT OFF!
Rest of the bus: Startled silence
Grimlet (loud enough for everyone to hear): Why is that man so cross, daddy?
Grim...: I guess he's not into dubstep, buddy.
Rest of the bus (except for the old man): Much laughter

13. Mr 'Won't move until the vehicle has come to a complete stop'.

If you want to sit next to me, be my guest. Take a look at what I'm reading, it might be educational or amusing. Or both. But please, as we approach the station, get up. Please don't trap me in my seat. Not only does it induce a mild claustrophobiae, but I like to be out the door the second it opens rather than get caught in the crush by the wretched ticket barriers.

I can't remember which podcast that I heard it on, maybe Phil jupitus, but they came across a shaver on the tube.

Not a male shaver though.

A lady, doing her legs.

Have we done The Lister yet? That person who sneeringly studies his fellow commuters, mentally categorising then for later discussion...

Two more sleeps!

You do realise there's a 90% chance it's going to be unspeakably, horribly awful?

My favourite fellow commuter was a small middle-aged East Asian woman who tried to break my arm while on the train down to Liverpool Street. I should say that I am tall and thin, so don't tend to take up much space across the seats and also that I am considerate, so tend to lean away from the person next to me and hold my arms against my body rather than flailing all over the place. I am also highly tolerant. To a point. Nevertheless, when the aforementioned woman got onto the train she sat next to me on a double seat with me next to the window. She got a book out and began to read. With her elbows stuck out sharply, and one of them right against the outside of my elbow at its nobbliest point. I had my eyes closed and was dozing off, but then I felt a definite jabbing sensation. She was jabbing me with her elbow. She then began to shuffle and sigh and harrumph. Then the jabbing turned into a grinding motion, right into my arm. Grinding, jabbing huffing. Thing is, she was so tiny that it really didn't hurt at all, it was like a bird's wing flapping against me, but it was really weird. It continued for a good half an hour. I sat there with a little smirk on my sleepy face which I could sense was winding her up even more. Then came the coup de grace. At Stratford she prepared to get off the train. She got up, put on her coat then body slammed me as she sat back down, elbow first into my arm. It still didn't hurt and I totally ignored it. She was fuming as she alighted. I could sense her fury leave the area like a spotlight passing across me and away again.

I should have picked her up and thrown her into the aisle or something.

The subway and streetcar are geared to accelerate extremely hard and brake likewise... something which seems to take a lot of people by surprise. Careful foot placement and shifting of your weight is very helpful (some experienced commuters don't need to hold onto anything) but even that can be overwhelmed by momentum. I've seen businessmen determined to finish an email on their Crackberry fail to counteract the forces acting on them and nearly go flying forwards. Similarly, the other day on the streetcar I found myself standing next to a little Chinese guy with a huge backpack. For some reason he decided he HAD TO be on the other side of me (we were both standing in the aisle near the very rear of the car) and right away too, so he maneuvered past as awkwardly as possible. He managed to get past (he could have just asked, but had done almost the whole thing before I realized) and was standing in the aisle when the streetcar accelerated suddenly and the weight of his bag just pulled him over backwards... his hands flailed in vain for a railing but I caught him... by the backpack... and stopped him falling all the way over. He didn't even look back or thank me.

The new subway trains have huge air conditioners mounted on the ceiling, preventing their being any railings on the ceiling or near the doors to hold onto. On a recent crammed rush hour trip home, two friends and I found ourselves hemmed in on all sides under the air conditioner, and the only thing available to grip... was one of the vents. So I don't feel too bad that part of it snapped off in my grip.

Saltaire roundabout is a bitch.

My commute is ten minutes each way. It's not particularly annoying and pretty much everyone is nice and considerate.

As is mine... In my car.

Am I doing this right?

I say 90% was being damned generous.

My journey is around 4.5km in the car, so it's about 6 or 7 minutes, something like that.

My car is shit though, and the radio reception is not very good in these parts. FML.

The sniffers.

My commute was awesome today.
I'm working from home.

Having suffered from allergic rhinitis for all my life, I can assure it's as mortifying for them as it is unpleasent for you.

Heh, another couple of largely Tube-specific characters sprang to mind this morning:

"Mr Bobby B.O." - fat sweaty bastard with unfeasibly strong B.O., often complete with visibly sweaty pits - just the job for the evening crush. It's like being assaulted by a barrowful of rancid onions that someone's pissed on.

"Ms Garlic Breath" (or other halitosis, such as the I-haven't-brushed-my-teeth-for-a-week "mothballs") - similar to above but even worse. I can't stand bad breath and although a lover of garlic myself, intense curry-breath on the Tube come breakfast time makes my stomach do flip-flops.

"Mr I'm not moving for no twat" - able-bodied inhabitant of Priority Seating who, despite being literally hemmed in by pregnant women and old people, totally refuses to move and makes like he hasn't noticed, staring into whichever few square mm of 'unobserved real estate' is available.

I had one this morning who was a special combo. She was a forrin who talked loudly in forrin into her phone, she had loud clicky noises for texting and boom-tish headphones for music.

HOW?

Is it a spreadsheet?

The trains have numbers on the side.

This is not really about commuting as such, but slightly realted so I'll post it anyway.

Whatever happened to common courtesy? I’m sure it used to exist, but it seems to be on the way out. As an expat I used to think this was a German thing, so when I got my head bashed in by some twat with a rucksack on the train/tram I didn’t think it was unreasonable to expect something along the lines of “oh,sorry mate”. That would have been fine, but it never happened. The one time I dared to comment I got a death stare from a fellow passenger as if I were the baddy.

There seems to be some “cooler than thou” thing going on where having a perfectly reasonable moan about bad attitude and shit behaviour is worse than the actual incondsiderate behaviour. Another example, with neighbours, saying something like “oh, and I suppose you never listen to loud music, you smug “I know better” twat. Well, yes I do like loud music, which is why I have headphones so I don’t have to impose it on you. It’s really not rocket science.

I really like the idea of morality that says “try not to be more of a cunt than you absolutely have to be”. And as usual, I’ll regret posting this after crawling out of my pinball niche into the big bad world of real stuff.

*drum........................drum..............drum.drum.drum.DRUM.DRUMDRUM!!!!
*MrC: "Oh no, it's a Cave Troll!"

Actually, to be fair, your post is entirely fair comment IMO.

Only signed back in to see what pic you posted Cavey....don't get it TBH, but that might be just me living out of the UK for ages, my sense of humour is tainted....

If I was being picky, and I am, I would point out that said picture is of a Balrog and not a Cave Troll. But the point still stands.

It's probably more to do with the fact it was a shit joke on my part mate (at my expense btw), I wouldn't worry about it.

Picky is good, I'm picky, but Mr Stupid (that's me) is still none the wiser.

Very true, on both counts I'd have to say.

I love shit jokes, just didn't get that one....no matter, and I don't worry about anything on here, as you're all clearly lovely (most of the time)

If I were being pickier still, I'd like to point out that it's really strange that cave trolls are "taller than the hill trolls". This makes no sense. It'd be a lot more advantageous to be smaller in a cave and taller in a forest. Normally, troglodyte creatures are smaller than their outdoors counterparts, aren't they?

Well the Welsh are generally taller than English so I am not sure if that holds up...

Since I am Welsh I feel I can get away with the above sweeping statement, which obviously has zero scientific foundation.

Yes, yes they are, vertically at least.

More: http://wharferj.wordpress.com/2012/08/2 ... lla-signs/

The TFL boss has said that commuter trains are "shit".

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015 ... rains-shit

Also, it took me four hours to get home last night, after some genius tried to cross a train track while a train was coming at Hendon.