Be Excellent To Each Other

See, The Independent, that's how you review a mince pie!

P : 15 : Pretty good, plain but well executed
T : 19 : Gosh, these were lovely, very nice filling and the tiniest of alcoholic fire to them
F : 18 : Packed with filling, not too bad at all.
S : 15 : Good size.
C : 5 : £2.50 for a box, blimey.

Total : 72

Drive by review time, no picture.

Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think..
Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity.

Ummm... 70/100

worst review evar!!

Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do

Sponge topped? What fresh hell is this?

I didn't feel it necessary to go into too much depth, as they aren't really mince pies, they are some sort of pie with mince meat in it, which is vastly different, as i'm sure you'll agree!

I agree to nothing!

And furthermore a so called 'Mince Pie with Sponge' is no Mince Pie in my book!

Would be nice to see your marking scale worked out by someone who isn't clearly insane though.

That was entirely my point!



No chance of that on this forum.

Tsk, you guys should have just waited for Custom PC's annual Mince Pie Custom Kit Megatest!

Where is the scale! What's the difference between 38% and 40%? What were they rating? Taste, texture, presentation, what?

Amateurs.

They've been doing the mince pie megatest for years man, they're established and trusted professionals in the field of mince pie reviewing.

They clearly explain their mark in the text for each pie.

I had one of those Costco "mince pies" the other day, they are kind of a cross between a bakewell tart and a mince pie, they are nice.

Woolworths mince pies. 4 for $1.85 so that's about 30p a pie.



Packaging leaves little to the imagination. Lots of ingredients in there too.

Now the pie.

Pastry, not too thick, not too thin, strong enough to hold the pie together once a bite was taken.



Filling, not enough of it as you can see. I would hope a pie would have filling all the way in the middle, not 40% of air in it. Filling tasty enough, just not enough of it.

Value: 10/10 for the price, you cannot complain
Pastry: 7/10 Good quality pastry
Filling: 5/10 whilst delicious, nowhere near enough of it
Overall: I'd give these pies an 8/10. Would buy again.

My colleague removes the lid from the mince pie and asks if anyone is home. Apparently the number of currants stuck to the roof represent the number of people "home". I've never come across this before strange.

Good review Nick!
Ange, your colleague is mental.

Yeah. That's not strange, that's batshit crazy.

Useless for any of you lot however, but it was fun eating mince pies.

Eh? Didn't Woolworths go bust three or four years back?

Not in Australia.

Where Nickachu now is.

Living.

Nick's in Australia?

Bought some of the winning Sainsbury's So Organic pies based on this.

They're good, no doubt. There are a few issues, though:

* There's considerable air gap between the mince and the lid - at least 1/3 of the pie's depth.

* Though the ingredients list claims the mince contains brandy, I can't detect even a trace.

Tis the season people!

Current leaderboard

1. Heston's 4 Spiced Shortcrust mince pies 82/100
2. Woolworths mince pies 80/100
3. Sainsbury's "Taste the Difference" Brandy Rich Mince Pies 75/100
4. Tesco finest deep filled mince pies with courvoisier 72/100
5. Costco mince pies 70/100
6. Sainsbury's deep fill mince pie 68/100

Get your reviews in folks, who will take the title this year?

It's SEPTEMBER!!!

Which is the start of mince pie season.

Fuck OFF.

Have you not seen the shops, mince pies everywhere!

Asda's standard 6 mince pies for a quid:



The box art is pretty faithful to the pie inside, I'm sure these will be the same as other supermarkets own brand offering but there's not much wrong with them - the right amount of currenty fill, quite sweet. The pastry is pretty decent, not greasy like other value pies, and it responds deliciously well to heat.

75%

Actually, sod it, 78%

#accidentalpartridge

Straight in at number 3! A good showing from ASDA there.

Is it wise to keep last year's list? What if something changes?

The world ends.

So, what's the best type of pastry for a mince pie? Puff or short?

Short, no contest.

Short, always!

Whichever is in front of me.

I'm putting you down as a puff, Dave.

Short.

Heston's are puff pastry, and delicious, but to be honest they're not exactly mince pies.

Spar 6 mince pies for a quid. Vegetarian.



Pastry: short. rather crumbly and dry. Does not take well to a microwaving, disintegration ensues.

Filling: No air gap but filling is shallow with the lid placed well below the upper edge of the casing, in fact the pies themselves are somewhat stocky. Flavor is lacking, the pies are described as fruity and that is at least accurate, the currants are juicy but there is little in the way of peel. No discernible spice is present which is the real letdown.

Description: The picture on the box shows the pies with a glaze, this is not the case in reality.

In addition it was a struggle to pry the pie from its foil case, resulting in multiple crust fractures and even exposure of the filling in one case. Complete collapse was avoided but only through careful handling.

Overall they are a reasonable but forgetful pie that more or less tastes of textured sugar.

a poor showing getting a score of 7/16ths

Oooh! Lets see what that does to the leaderboard!

1. Heston's 4 Spiced Shortcrust mince pies 82/100
2. Woolworths mince pies 80/100
3. Asda's standard 78/100
4. Sainsbury's "Taste the Difference" Brandy Rich Mince Pies 75/100
5. Tesco finest deep filled mince pies with courvoisier 72/100
6. Costco mince pies 70/100
7. Sainsbury's deep fill mince pie 68/100
8. Spar 44/100

Poor showing from Spar there, well down at the bottom of the table, they've got some work to do to avoid relegation.

The judges are coming back to me... hold on...

Krazywookie, can you confirm that it was actually "party time" when you ate the pies?

I can't believe people microwave mince pies. Tut! Heating should be done in an oven, or with the warmth of love from family and cherished ones at Christmas.

Based on my experiences of food from Spar*, that should be "0.4375 out of 100."

I wonder if they do sliders, it would certainly explain things.

* - barring their mint ice cream.

the pies were consumed at lunch time with a friend and with quantities of fizzy juice, i believe that technically makes it a minor party yes.

It's that time again!

Morrison's deep fill luxury ones were nice.

There is a rating system, you know. Put some fucking effort in.

I'll give them a B+.

Oooo excite, it might be tricky this year as I'm on a health thing. Maybe I'll try for healthy pies? The hunt begins.

for the information of the panel: I WILL be continuing my controversial practice of micro waving, you have been warned.

This might be my new favourite thread.

Nom nom mince pies!!

Waitrose Deep filled shortcrust mince pies

P: 15. Nice looking pie, box could be better. Would benefit from a picture of a mince pie on it!
T: 10. Too much pastry; bad meat to crust ratio. The meat was nice but not incredibly flavourful.
F: 10. The meat portion isn't exactly stingy but the pie was only half full... Don't call it deep fill if it ain't; it scores poorly for promising and not delivering.
S: 15. Quite large but too much of that is pastry and air.
C: 18 £2 for six so quite cheap.

Mr. Kipling Exceedingly Merry mince pies

P: 17. Pretty decoration on the pie. Box is as you'd expect from Mr. Kipling, it's the smallest, flimsiest box of the lot but does it's job. And has a picture of a pie.
T: 13. Too dry. The meat was flavourful.
F: 9. The meat portion only half fills the case, which is quite shallow.
S: 13. Would be a great size if they had more filling.
C: 20. £1 for six (on offer).

Waitrose All butter mince pies

P: 17. Nice large box, very pretty decoration. But the pies are boring looking.
T: 19. Lovely pastry and very flavourful filling. A lot less liquid then the other fillings.
F: 18. Completely full to the top!
S: 18. Good, large size and all in proportion.
C: 17. £3 for six so the most expensive.