Mince Pies?
Fuck that.
Mince and Onion Pies!
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| Mince pie review season https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8887 |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:36 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Curiosity wrote: I recall Heston's ones from Waitrose being lovely. Really? I thought they were terrible, far too much pastry, not enough mince, and they tasted of toilet duck when sprinkled with the pine fresh toilet cleanser. A trap a number of mince pie makers fall into with their higher quality versions is to use low sugar mince meat which has aged, so is very vinegary. Also Waitrose use far too much pastry. |
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| Author: | WTB [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:41 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
This is getting deep. Deeper than a deep-filled mince pie. |
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| Author: | Zardoz [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:42 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Mince Pies? Fuck that. Mince and Onion Pies!
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| Author: | Trooper [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 13:02 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Zardoz wrote: Mince Pies? Fuck that. Mince and Onion Pies! Start your own bloody thread then. |
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| Author: | Zardoz [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 13:13 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Nah. About time this was derailed. |
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| Author: | BikNorton [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 13:48 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Bobbyaro wrote: A trap a number of mince pie makers fall into with their higher quality versions is to use low sugar mince meat which has aged, so is very vinegary. And you know what works well with that? Fat. Ice cream, double cream, brandy butter, clotted cream.
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| Author: | Trooper [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 13:54 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
BikNorton wrote: Bobbyaro wrote: A trap a number of mince pie makers fall into with their higher quality versions is to use low sugar mince meat which has aged, so is very vinegary. And you know what works well with that? Fat. Ice cream, double cream, brandy butter, clotted cream.And also what works well? Heat. Oh, your list? Yes, Yes, No, Yes. |
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| Author: | Zardoz [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 13:54 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
BikNorton wrote: Bobbyaro wrote: A trap a number of mince pie makers fall into with their higher quality versions is to use low sugar mince meat which has aged, so is very vinegary. And you know what works well with that? Fat. Ice cream, double cream, brandy butter, clotted cream.Onion gravy. |
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| Author: | Firefox [ Thu Sep 06, 2012 22:10 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Sainsbury's in-store bakery ones are usually pretty awesome. They're quite wide and thus shallow, made from nice shortcrust pastry, and have granulated sugar liberally sprinkled on the (hard) top. The mincemeat is nice but ordinary - none of that "luxury" rubbish. I haven't seen any this year yet, though - fingers crossed they don't "improve" / recession-ise them! |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Thu Sep 06, 2012 22:37 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
None in tesco yet 
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 16:25 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
 Sainsbury's bog standard deep fill mince pies. On offer for 82p. Review to follow tonight 
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 18:07 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Sainsbury's deep fill mince pies. Presentation : bog standard mince pie, nothing to write home about. Taste : pretty good, could do with a bit more sugar as the pastry was slightly bland, filling taste was good but also a bit bland. Filling : very full, top marks. Size : standard small size Value : bargain! Rating : 7/10 |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 19:48 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
7/10 for bland pastry and bland filling? Doesn't leave too much room for improvement. 
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| Author: | Cras [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 19:56 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
What this review tells us is that trooper is cheap. |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 20:11 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Extra points were given for the very full filling and bargainous price! Plus I did say it tasted pretty good, just a bit bland. |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 20:12 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
We need a formula: MP=F(0.8P)(1/Pr)(0.5S) Where F = filling taste out of 10 P = Pastry taste out of 10 Pr = the price of an individual pie in pence S = is weight of an individual pie in grams. |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 20:39 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
I think I'll remark, 20 points for each category, giving a mark out of 100. Sainsbury's deep fill mince pie P : 10 T : 13 F : 18 S : 10 V : 17 Total : 68/100 |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 21:06 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
I gave you a formula and everything!
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 21:07 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Yeah. It was rubbish. |
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| Author: | Grim... [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 21:36 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
So we went from 7/10 to 68%. Thanks for that, Trooper. |
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| Author: | flis [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 21:56 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Value should be cost, surely? The value is determined by the cost, when viewed in light of all the other scoring criteria. I saw two versions of Co-op mince pies in the shop yesterday, I was extremely tempted to buy a box of each but I'm going to hold off for at least another two months. |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 22:31 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Grim... wrote: So we went from 7/10 to 68%. Thanks for that, Trooper. Indeed. It's almost as if the original questioning of the 7/10 mark proved to be unfounded. |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 22:34 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
flis wrote: Value should be cost, surely? The value is determined by the cost, when viewed in light of all the other scoring criteria. But that would ruin my easy to remember mnemonic. Pretty Transvestites Fornicate Squelchy Vaginas... oh... no it wouldn't... |
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| Author: | Grim... [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:29 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Sun Sep 30, 2012 9:10 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Sainsbury's "Taste the Difference" Brandy Rich Mince Pies  P : 15 : Pretty nice, if obviously mass produced. T : 18 : Really really good, even for someone like me who isn't a huge fan of brandy. F : 18 : Full to the brim S : 17 : Bit bigger than the usual size, but still small enough to scoff easily C : 7 : At £2 these are getting towards the Rolls Royce end of the market, even with them on offer. £2.50 normal price! Total : 75 We have a new leader! |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Fri Nov 30, 2012 18:38 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... on=gallery Seriously Independent, is this the best you got? A few photos and a couple of lines each. |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Fri Nov 30, 2012 18:57 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Christ, those comments are like the appalling captions which are added to photos of "celebs" in Heat magazine and it horrendous ilk. Edit: And what are the odds that the author got a kick back from Morisons. |
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| Author: | asfish [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:00 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Bobbyaro wrote: Curiosity wrote: I recall Heston's ones from Waitrose being lovely. Really? I thought they were terrible, far too much pastry, not enough mince, and they tasted of toilet duck when sprinkled with the pine fresh toilet cleanser. A trap a number of mince pie makers fall into with their higher quality versions is to use low sugar mince meat which has aged, so is very vinegary. Also Waitrose use far too much pastry. Had some of these a couple of weeks ago, first one I didn't like but I really liked the 2nd one I ate! http://www.waitrose.com/shop/ProductVie ... mince+pies |
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| Author: | itsallwater [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:28 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
I had some puff pastry mince pie from M&S. Quarter filled mince and they were twice the price of the standard cheap ones. Do not recommend at all. However the standard 1 pound a box version are pretty awesome. |
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| Author: | Mr Dom [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:00 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
I have recently tried:  Hestons, but not the vile pine things... these come with a pack of tangerine flavour icing sugar. Quite generous amounts of it too. I don't understand the formula, so here are my scores out of 10 (out of 20 is plainly ludicrous): Mince meat - succulent & rich, just about right! 9/10 Pastry - here's the thing. It's thick, crunchy, and moist. It has a lattice top! It has straight sides! It's dark brown! Technically, it is not a traditional mince pie, but... It tastes incredible! The very pastry has been infused, suffused and possibly confused with spices. As a mince pie fanatic, I loved them. Mrs Dom hates mince pies. She loved em too: 12/10 Price... HAHAHAAAA!!!! about a billionty pounds per pie. 1/10 (82.3p each. yeah EACH) Size & weight.. These things are HEAVY. Like 2 of any 'normal' mince pie. You could stun a goat at 30 paces with one. Any dwarf baker would be proud. It makes up for needing a mortgage to buy a pack of 4: 11/10 (80+g each!) So: 33/40 (82.5%) - feel free to scale to your preferred range They look wrong, they feel wrong, but they taste so right I expect them to be banned in case they cause the vapours, hysteria, and possibly male menopause. |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 13:32 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
See, The Independent, that's how you review a mince pie! |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 19:44 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
 P : 15 : Pretty good, plain but well executed T : 19 : Gosh, these were lovely, very nice filling and the tiniest of alcoholic fire to them F : 18 : Packed with filling, not too bad at all. S : 15 : Good size. C : 5 : £2.50 for a box, blimey. Total : 72 |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:17 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Drive by review time, no picture. Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think.. Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity. Ummm... 70/100 |
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| Author: | Slightly Green [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:23 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Trooper wrote: Drive by review time, no picture. Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think.. Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity. Ummm... 70/100 worst review evar!! Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do |
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| Author: | DavPaz [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:26 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Sponge topped? What fresh hell is this? |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:31 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Slightly Green wrote: Trooper wrote: Drive by review time, no picture. Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think.. Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity. Ummm... 70/100 worst review evar!! Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do I didn't feel it necessary to go into too much depth, as they aren't really mince pies, they are some sort of pie with mince meat in it, which is vastly different, as i'm sure you'll agree! |
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| Author: | Slightly Green [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:36 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Trooper wrote: Slightly Green wrote: Trooper wrote: Drive by review time, no picture. Costco Mince Pies. 11 for some price or other, I went a bit crazy in Costco yesterday and all I can say for certain is that they didn't cost more than £241. Probably about a fiver I would think.. Sponge topped, so not really a mince pie, but tasted very nice regardless of that, very fruity. Ummm... 70/100 worst review evar!! Trooper you should employ Mr Dom to teach you what to do I didn't feel it necessary to go into too much depth, as they aren't really mince pies, they are some sort of pie with mince meat in it, which is vastly different, as i'm sure you'll agree! I agree to nothing! And furthermore a so called 'Mince Pie with Sponge' is no Mince Pie in my book! Would be nice to see your marking scale worked out by someone who isn't clearly insane though. ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view! |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:39 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Slightly Green wrote: And furthermore a so called 'Mince Pie with Sponge' is no Mince Pie in my book! That was entirely my point! Slightly Green wrote: Would be nice to see your marking scale worked out by someone who isn't clearly insane though. No chance of that on this forum. |
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| Author: | Hearthly [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:39 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Tsk, you guys should have just waited for Custom PC's annual Mince Pie Custom Kit Megatest! |
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| Author: | Trooper [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:41 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Where is the scale! What's the difference between 38% and 40%? What were they rating? Taste, texture, presentation, what? Amateurs. |
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| Author: | Hearthly [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:45 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Trooper wrote: Where is the scale! What's the difference between 38% and 40%? What were they rating? Taste, texture, presentation, what? Amateurs. They've been doing the mince pie megatest for years man, they're established and trusted professionals in the field of mince pie reviewing. They clearly explain their mark in the text for each pie. |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 13:52 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
I had one of those Costco "mince pies" the other day, they are kind of a cross between a bakewell tart and a mince pie, they are nice. |
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| Author: | nickachu [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:29 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Woolworths mince pies. 4 for $1.85 so that's about 30p a pie. Attachment: DSC_0193.JPG Packaging leaves little to the imagination. Lots of ingredients in there too. Now the pie. Pastry, not too thick, not too thin, strong enough to hold the pie together once a bite was taken. Attachment: DSC_0195.JPG Filling, not enough of it as you can see. I would hope a pie would have filling all the way in the middle, not 40% of air in it. Filling tasty enough, just not enough of it. Value: 10/10 for the price, you cannot complain Pastry: 7/10 Good quality pastry Filling: 5/10 whilst delicious, nowhere near enough of it Overall: I'd give these pies an 8/10. Would buy again. |
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| Author: | Ange [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:42 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
My colleague removes the lid from the mince pie and asks if anyone is home. Apparently the number of currants stuck to the roof represent the number of people "home". I've never come across this before strange. |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 13:48 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Good review Nick! Ange, your colleague is mental. |
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| Author: | Cras [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 13:54 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Yeah. That's not strange, that's batshit crazy. |
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| Author: | nickachu [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 14:27 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Bobbyaro wrote: Good review Nick! Useless for any of you lot however, but it was fun eating mince pies. |
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| Author: | Firefox [ Fri Dec 14, 2012 23:14 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Eh? Didn't Woolworths go bust three or four years back? |
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| Author: | DavPaz [ Fri Dec 14, 2012 23:59 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Not in Australia. Where Nickachu now is. Living. |
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| Author: | Bobbyaro [ Sat Dec 15, 2012 11:28 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mince pie review season |
Nick's in Australia? |
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