Be Excellent To Each Other

Anyone who saw my blisters at the cottage will testify that my DMs needed breaking in!

Ouch!

Malc

I bought my soft leather DRS from Liverpool One. The staff are as far from 80s skinheads as you can get in every way apart from footwear

Took me a while to realise you weren't talking about buying a sofa.

Or appealing against being given out lbw due to a faint nick off the gloves.

Heh. Stupid autocorrect. DMs, natch

Or trying to go faster on the straights - assuming you were within two seconds of the car in front, natch.

I don't think it's your blisters they were looking at...

After a silly and needless breakup in the past, all you had to do was stick a photo album in a drawer in order to remove all reminders from your daily life. Thanks to social media, I've had to tediously go through my sinister Facebook account and either manually delete photos or remove myself from other people's pictures we are both tagged in. And nowhere near as satisfying as ripping the pictures up and throwing them in the fire.

We have two people in our department who were brought in effectively to create and run a major application that our entire business now uses, and which will be shortly sold to Tesco for their entire business to use as well.

The project lead is going into hospital for 12 weeks, and the week before she went (today) the only developer on the project handed in his notice.

It now falls to me and one other person to attempt to learn this entire project that two people have spent two years making, modding and improving.

I am not in a good place in my head right now.

You'll be reyt.

I made a inventory/infantry based pun and no one noticed.

You just need to soldier on regardless.

He might need to take stock beforehand though.

I wasn't looking for a medal, just wanted it to be counted.

Oh fuck I have to do that!

I get around all this by using Google+.

Do they have a "bonfire of the photos" app then?

Nope, just no users.

Having got used to a 4G signal for the past month, I'm really struggling with the fact that I can only get a 3G signal today.

12 minutes to download an episode of a TV show is too long. Especially when it's the season 3 finale of Walking Dead, and I'd got to within the last ten minutes of that particular episode before the audio fucked up. Gah!

My son's current favourite plaything is my harmony One remote control, not any of the nice toys we've bought for him.

Our old wardrobes don't fit in our new bedroom.

Loaded up a new series of a TV show onto my tablet. First episode doesn't work

My new deodorant has made my armpits all tingly, like I've smeared them with toothpaste.

I looked at the can and it has 'built in air conditioning'. WHY WOULD I WANT THAT IN WINTER?

Resale value.

My moisturiser does that. It's really weird and I only bought it because I realised I had forgotten my normal one when we got to the cottage.

I mean it makes my face tingle. Not my armpits - that would be weird.

Actually, it only makes my eyes tingle. Not my eyeballs, just around my eyes. Like toothpaste.

You out toothpaste around your eyes?

My healthier more active lifestyle and resulting weight loss means my winter coat is too big and I need to spring for a new one. Woe!

I am having to get two suits altered as I have lost too much weight

Wear an extra jumper under it. Problem solved.

Get the price of the coat, and the spend half of the amount on pizza.

Ye...nope.

What on Earth is a roz pocket?

I'm guessing it's what I call a Poacher's Pocket, which is a large pocket on the inside of the coat for smuggling game.

Got stung by customs for VAT on a tshirt from the US of A.

The VAT was £3.14. Their own charge was £8.

Fucking cunts.

Tshirt was still wrapped inside and the limited edition prints I got were all 250/250 which was cool.

Decided to educate an American friend about Britpop, so sent him a link to Pulp's 'Common People' on Youtube . Only later realised that the link I'd sent was a version that omits the last two words from the classic line 'dance and drink and screw'. Grrr....

Been getting more hours at work than expected. So I'm making more money. Now I'm tired.

I left my wallet on a plane on Friday, and it hasn't been handed in.

So now I get to try and convince the travel insurance people that it had £350 in cash in it.

I'm guessing the ATM receipts will also be in your wallet.

Could you send them a copy of your bank statement with the withdrawn cash showing?

I guess we'll find out.

Arses, sorry to hear Grim..., what a ballache.

Hardly comparable, but one "First World Problem" thing that's always irritated me: people who flash you for having xenon headlights. Man, I get so pissed off with driving at night, on normal beam, having a faceful of high beam from oncoming cars... surely people know that xenon headlights are brighter, right? You can spec 'em on virtually any car these days and they're hardly unusual; I've even had the alignment etc. checked just in case there was something amiss, but they're tickety boo.

Apart from anything else, it's bloody dangerous deliberately trying to dazzle an oncoming driver, especially on a narrow, unlit country lane, in the middle of the night.

In other news, I spent the second half of my morning commute with a National Express coach driver giving me "The Full Audi", mere milimetres from my arse, for reasons unknown. When I filtered into another lane, he craned his neck out of his cab and gave me the finger, which was nice of him. Gah.

Then maybe it was a mistake to spec your car to dazzle oncoming drivers at night. Just an idea.

They don't though, they're just brighter (and a slightly different colour). You can easily spot them coming toward you and I've seen other drivers flash cars that aren't doing anything wrong.

Yeah, and lights dazzling drivers is little to do with brightness and everything to do with angle. That's why even dim lights on full beam dazzle - because they're not pointed at the ground.