1st world problems

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

Kern wrote:

To the quack chiropractor who was advertising his neck-breaking snake oil by sticking an advert onto my windscreen, so when I tried to peel it off the top layer came off easily, but there's still sticky stuff stuck on the glass: please go and commit an anatomical impossibility, then throw yourself down a well. Grrr...

Was he selling a sticky-stuff-on-glass remover chemical?

Kern · **Posted:** Sun Jun 24, 2012 19:28

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Kern wrote:

To the quack chiropractor who was advertising his neck-breaking snake oil by sticking an advert onto my windscreen, so when I tried to peel it off the top layer came off easily, but there's still sticky stuff stuck on the glass: please go and commit an anatomical impossibility, then throw yourself down a well. Grrr...

Was he selling a sticky-stuff-on-glass remover chemical?

If he were, I'd force it down the throats of his loved ones before throwing them down the well too.

And no amount of squirting as I went down the M40 at 70mph shifted it either. Bah, going to have to get the sponge and bucket out later.

MaliA · **Posted:** Sun Jun 24, 2012 23:47

Daily info, room to let, DSS and pet friendly, Headington £200 PCM. Stick his number on the advert.

YOG · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 13:59

Just opened a tube of toothpaste. It's some horrible artificial "citrus" flavour. It says absolutely nothing about this anywhere on the tube.

Alarm · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 15:14

YOG wrote:

Just opened a tube of toothpaste. It's some horrible artificial "citrus" flavour. It says absolutely nothing about this anywhere on the tube.

My current toothpaste is blue and has cyan squares in it for some reason. This is not on the packaging/tube.

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 15:18

Still no TiVO remote control! The cat keeps jumping on my back when I crouch to use the on-box controls. Grr.

myp · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 15:20

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

Still no TiVO remote control! The cat keeps jumping on my back when I crouch to use the on-box controls. Grr.

Stop carrying bottles of Dettol around.

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 15:24

Edit: Just realised that next week will be a whole week of recited bad jokes with Joans and Sam seeing you at the weekend! :facepalm:

GazChap · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 16:15

Grim... wrote:

Can they do that? I thought there were distance selling rules.

Wouldn't count with Argos unless he opted for home delivery.

Joans · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 8648

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

:P

Edit: Just realised that next week will be a whole week of recited bad jokes with Joans and Sam seeing you at the weekend! :facepalm:

How is that different to every other week?

myp · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 18:52

I'm trying to write an email, but I'm not quite sure how to start.

Wait, wrong thread.

GazChap · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 19:13

The Last Salmon Man wrote:

I'm trying to write an email, but I'm not quite sure how to start.

Wait, wrong thread.

Quote:

Dear Fascist bullyboy,

Give me some more money, you bastard.

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman,
Myp.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

GazChap wrote:

The Last Salmon Man wrote:

I'm trying to write an email, but I'm not quite sure how to start.

Wait, wrong thread.

Quote:

Dear Darling Fascist bullyboy,

Give me some more money, you bastard.

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman,
Myp.

FTFY. Dear sounds a bit too much like, "Will you go to bed with me?"

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 20:35

Joans wrote:

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

:P

Edit: Just realised that next week will be a whole week of recited bad jokes with Joans and Sam seeing you at the weekend! :facepalm:

How is that different to every other week?

They get far worse when you've been with myp.

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 20:43

GazChap wrote:

The Last Salmon Man wrote:

I'm trying to write an email, but I'm not quite sure how to start.

Wait, wrong thread.

Quote:

Dear Fascist bullyboy,

Give me some more money, you bastard.

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman,
Myp.

Darling, not dear.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25588

I bought myself a spinning wheel as a gift, from me to me. Site said delivery could be anything up to 10 days, but usually 2-3.

After a week I asked how long it might be and they basically said 'none in stock, in order from suppliers, could be days, might be months.

They've not charged the card, so that's not the problem. Just nowhere else sells them and it's something I've so been looking forward to, and I bought it for a very special celebration for myself but now it just seems to make me feel a little flat and disappointed.

I think because every day I've hoped it will be the day it arrives.

GazChap · **Posted:** Tue Jun 26, 2012 22:54

Curses!

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4668

FML - It's really hard work getting up at 5.30am to go and exercise with a personal trainer.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:35

Sir Taxalot wrote:

FML - It's really hard work getting up at 5.30am to go and exercise with a personal trainer.

I've considered becoming a personal trainer. I think it'd be really, really, funny making acocutnants run up muddy paths and heaving medicine balls up hills.

Morte · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:58

Mimi wrote:

I bought myself a spinning wheel as a gift, from me to me. Site said delivery could be anything up to 10 days, but usually 2-3.

After a week I asked how long it might be and they basically said 'none in stock, in order from suppliers, could be days, might be months.

They've not charged the card, so that's not the problem. Just nowhere else sells them and it's something I've so been looking forward to, and I bought it for a very special celebration for myself but now it just seems to make me feel a little flat and disappointed.

I think because every day I've hoped it will be the day it arrives.

To be honest Mimi, I'd be using this as the perfect excuse to buy myself an 'interim gift' to make up for the disappointment of the initial gift being delayed.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:01

Morte wrote:

Mimi wrote:

I bought myself a spinning wheel as a gift, from me to me. Site said delivery could be anything up to 10 days, but usually 2-3.

After a week I asked how long it might be and they basically said 'none in stock, in order from suppliers, could be days, might be months.

They've not charged the card, so that's not the problem. Just nowhere else sells them and it's something I've so been looking forward to, and I bought it for a very special celebration for myself but now it just seems to make me feel a little flat and disappointed.

I think because every day I've hoped it will be the day it arrives.

To be honest Mimi, I'd be using this as the perfect excuse to buy myself an 'interim gift' to make up for the disappointment of the initial gift being delayed.

I think this is a capital idea.

myp · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:08

Sometimes I have have issues with going for a number two. However, subsequent movements that same day are ok.

Oh wait, wrong thread.

Slightly Green · **Joined:** 26th Aug, 2010 **Posts:** 2069

The Last Salmon Man wrote:

Sometimes I have have issues with going for a number two. However, subsequent movements that same day are ok.

Oh wait, wrong thread.

pic or it never happen.....

second thoughts send the pics to Craster so he can verify them for the forum

Curiosity · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:13

The Last Salmon Man wrote:

Sometimes I have have issues with going for a number two. However, subsequent movements that same day are ok.

Oh wait, wrong thread.

Ange,

Can you make him shut the fuck up?

Yours sincerely,
Everyone

myp · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:22

Jupiter has been put under an evil spell or glammer - I'm not sure what to do about this.

Oh wait, wrong thread.

Ange · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 13:54

Curiosity wrote:

The Last Salmon Man wrote:

Sometimes I have have issues with going for a number two. However, subsequent movements that same day are ok.

Oh wait, wrong thread.

Ange,

Can you make him shut the fuck up?

Yours sincerely,
Everyone

At least you don't have to see him on Saturday. OH WAIT.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 14:11

I'm going to rub his face on a hot BBQ grill.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 14:16

Curiosity wrote:

I'm going to rub his face on a hot BBQ grill.

It's going to be me and Curio down by the schoolyard.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 14:19

MaliA wrote:

Curiosity wrote:

I'm going to rub his face on a hot BBQ grill.

It's going to be me and Curio down by the schoolyard.

Oooh, must add that to the playlist.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 27, 2012 14:20

Curiosity wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Curiosity wrote:

I'm going to rub his face on a hot BBQ grill.

It's going to be me and Curio down by the schoolyard.

Oooh, must add that to the playlist.

yeah, if you could think of a way I can shoehorn a proper joke in about it, I'd appreciate it.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25588

Morte wrote:

Mimi wrote:

I bought myself a spinning wheel as a gift, from me to me. Site said delivery could be anything up to 10 days, but usually 2-3.

After a week I asked how long it might be and they basically said 'none in stock, in order from suppliers, could be days, might be months.

They've not charged the card, so that's not the problem. Just nowhere else sells them and it's something I've so been looking forward to, and I bought it for a very special celebration for myself but now it just seems to make me feel a little flat and disappointed.

I think because every day I've hoped it will be the day it arrives.

To be honest Mimi, I'd be using this as the perfect excuse to buy myself an 'interim gift' to make up for the disappointment of the initial gift being delayed.

I'm considering a new handbag

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25588

Dear Mimi

Our supplier has just got back to us. Our order including your wheel is being despatched next week, so hopefully we will be able to despatch towards end of next week or beginning of week after.

Regards
Krystyna

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25588

(forgot to e roti joy)

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38460

Mimi wrote:

:D

(forgot to e roti joy)

I hate it when that happens

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25588

Express joy? Maybe?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

E roti joy!

BikNorton · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 10074

And there's the party banner for Saturday. I don't know anyone who can rattle that off in a day though.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jul 04, 2012 14:27

Rethinking camping this weekend..

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 15:06

Can't find my original avatar. Bah.

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

Can't find my original avatar. Bah.

Note to anyone at work with Safe Search switched off: do not Google Image Search for Goddess Jasmine.

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 15:14

Bamba wrote:

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

Can't find my original avatar. Bah.

Note to anyone at work with Safe Search switched off: do not Google Image Search for Goddess Jasmine.

I'm not sure how to break this to you, but that is her

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 15:23

Oh God, I'm going to have to look now aren't I?

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 15:27

What's with the elastic bands? (At least that's what they look like)

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

Oh God, I'm going to have to look now aren't I?

There's nothing specific, it just starts to get really porny by about the fourth page of results and as I was scrolling pretty quickly through while scanning for anything that looked like your old avatar that was a bit of a shock at work!

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 15:30

Ha, thanks Bamba. I was looking for the scuba diving one anyway, but I think I know where I can grab a copy of the flowers in the hair one.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14489

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

Ha, thanks Bamba. I was looking for the scuba diving one anyway, but I think I know where I can grab a copy of the flowers in the hair one.

I braved the safe search off google images as well and found this

Attachment:

gj.jpg

BTW if you search for ["Goddess Jasmine" scuba] with safesearch off in google , its just page after page of porn and then a link to this picture here

which really looks out of place :-)

And I found the real picture by searching for ["Goddess Jasmine" avatar] and its on the first page

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 6:33

Looks like porn to me!

Curiosity · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:03

That picture really does belong in the 'Bad Album Covers' thread!

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38460

Attachment:

Pinozero.jpg

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

I'm going to pretend I didn't just see you sepia wash one of my pictures.

Be Excellent To Each Other

1st world problems
shit that dont matter but does

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Be Excellent To Each Other

1st world problems shit that dont matter but does

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1st world problems
shit that dont matter but does