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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:02 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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The reality is, of course, that this section is fucking irritating; is mechanically a bag of shit; adds nothing to the world building; adds nothing to the relationship between Cloud & Aerith and slows the pace to an emergency stop.

Adding upon those bullet points:

Before this section you have to lift Aerith up on a hand on two separate occasions. Each is time consuming and a time waste as the laboured animations of the hands unfolding and Aerith climbing aboard take forever with no input from the player.

Then when you get to this section, you can only drop Aerith & a container is the designated spaces so, like I do in the video, if you drop Aerith out the way but she’s in a spot that you want to drop the container you’d expecting her to fuck off or have a container smash her head in, but no she just stands in place like a moron and you have to sloooooooly move the container back to a spot; slooowly go back and get Aerith; slooooowly drop her; sloooowly grab a container etc etc. It’s just a tedious pile of shit.

And the hand placement doesn’t even make sense. If the hands were there to help the containers or other heavy goods through the tunnel system passing between sectors then how come there’s never any opposing hands on the side you’ve just come down? It’s always a sheer drop down down a ladder so you’d never get anything through the tunnel anyway.

And why must we repeat the same shit 3 times? it’s not like Cloud hasn’t demonstrated his willingness to help Aerith because he’s done the same thing twice already. And there’s no dialogue between all this shit to keep you entertained while you do the busy work. It’s the worse kind of time wasting. The fucking pointless kind.

And eight minutes of this shit is utterly indefensible. If they wanted to make the journey longer, let me smack shit in the face for a bit. If they wanted to build the relationship have something meaningful take place or have some conversation during this nonsense. If they wanted to build the world have some dialogue about the world between these boring sections. No one could, in their right mind, play this bit and think yeah that needed to be there.

So, no, it’s not me.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 18:09 
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Bad Girl

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I don’t know which is best. All of Sylvando In Dragons Quest XI or that dance off.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 0:06 
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Bad Girl

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Up to chapter 15 and I’m well into this. It’s got problems of course, but the story of the plate is pretty good.

The anime dialogue is annoying, and Cloud himself is about as interesting now as when the game started. He’s stopped saying “I’m only in it for the money” so his ‘arc’ is more of a 90 degree turn.

The whole plate thing was pretty darn cool I reckon. Shame about the dead people on the way up dying from no visible wounds and yabbering away like only anime characters do before they die. It’s all pretty cliché, but I did enjoy that part of the story immensely. I’ve even settled nicely into a rhythm with the combat which still isn’t fantastic but it’s enjoyable enough. The lock-on isn’t though, which is stupidly fiddly but at least you can pause and then take a few seconds to actually find the area you want to hit.

If Remake only has part of the story, it’s intrigued me enough that I even might play the original game after all this is done. Kinda like reading the next book of Game of Thrones while you wait for the next season. Mind you, I’ve a feeling that this is going to go right up it’s own arse real soon...talk of The Ancients; ghosts; those flying things that aren’t ghosts that keep cropping up; Sephiroth turning up in headaches spouting utter bollocks; that Resident Evil facility section being a bit crap and a completely fucking random scene when the plate falls which has a cat in a crown which has never been seen before drop to his knees for some inexplicable reason. That last one was so fucking random it annoyed me intensely during this big climatic moment. I’m sure those who played the original probably spaffed in their underoos when cat with crown showed up, but after playing so many hours and having zero anamorphic cats or animals show up it was jarring.

It’s been quite good going in blind though. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen next.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 0:43 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Ah, I somehow missed that you'd never played the original. I suspect there are definitely things in there that make less sense if you haven't.

I will say that the original story is great, but certainly not unacquainted with the interior of its own rectum.

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 13:39 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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Turns out you can use multiple items without accessing the menu time and time again. Hold L1 in the menu to use. Fucks sake. I found that out in a loading screen... turns out there’s even a tiny tiny icon in the tiny menu that says L1 multiuse or something like that. Lord knows how many hours I’ve been playing before I found that. Many hours. Thanks Final Fantasy 7 Remake.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 14:05 
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Hello Hello Hello

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This thread is such a roller coaster of emotions.

Vicariously experience the thrills of one man's highs and lows via the medium of FF7 Remake.

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 18:58 
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Bad Girl

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Hang on, Scar from The Lion King has joined the party and we’ve drifted back into Resident Evil territory; the shit parts in the labs that always happen at the end.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 12:19 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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So I screwed up last night as I was playing this reasonably late and got to that dream monster at the end of Chapter 17. He was being a tanky shithead and I thought I'll just get to the end of this chapter and I'll save it and go to bed. It must be the end because this chapter has been going on for AGES. Mostly due to swapping back and forth between two parties and having to constantly run back and forth making telephone calls in the blandest way possible.

But no, it went all JEPG on me and this isn't the final boss - this guy you've never heard of, right up until now, is actually the final boss! Yawn. There's so may different villains in this game and most of them have very little to do beyond a cutscene where they show up for something inconsequential (well, to this story at least). Some sexy woman has two cutscenes, one of them is just her doing some experiment where she's using a bloke as a footstool.

And the tonal shifts are all over the place sometimes. I must be near the end of the game and all the stakes are on the table, yet there's a daft bit where some of our heroes get cornered by the baddies and there's about to be a MEGA EPIC BATTLE and it goes:

Baddie: "Who do you think you are?"
Barret: "I'm AVALANCHE!"
Aerith: "I run a flower shop!"
Dog "AND I'M A DOG *WOOF*"

My eyes rolled around so hard in my head I could hear them myself.

And people keep escaping too because ... reasons, I guess. People just run away across very long rooms while the heroes just stare and say "He's getting away" without moving a fucking muscle. ONE OF THEM HAS A GUN FOR AN ARM. Shoot that fucker.

What else? Oh yeah... spoilers for this:

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
President Shinra gets stabbed by Sephiroth and dies to a big cloudly sword wound. Barret gets one moments later but he comes back to life because, well, fuck knows to be sure but his cloudly wound heals itself. Then President Shinra isn't on the floor anymore? I tried looking for him to make sure he was dead but I couldn't see him. Mind you, it was getting late but still I couldn't see his body on the floor at all. It's a bit shit. Oh and before that the Prez holds Barret up with a 1911 and Barret gets all scared. Yeah, like this big guy hasn't been absorbing bullets all fucking game. Some from a HELICOPTER FOR GODS SAKE.


And after all that, there was ANOTHER boss fight with a robot just to pad out this bloody huge chapter. And at no time would the bloody game let me save so I could go to bed.

THEN YOU'RE ON A BIKE AGAIN. JUST LET ME SAVE IT. In the end, enough was enough as another tanky robot boss fight turned up on the bikes and I could barely keep my eyes on. Not least because (a) good god, not another sodding bike ride, and (b) it was late. I just hope it autosaved around there somewhere because I can't be arsed to have Tilda fight another anaemic guy on a roof.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 12:24 
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Hello Hello Hello

Joined: 11th May, 2008
Posts: 13169
Tell me more about this wanting to be able to save your game thing.

/thinks back to the Bioshock Infinite thread.....

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 12:26 
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Hello Hello Hello

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Also, you know, the original FF7 wasn't high art or anything. I played it through back in the day on PS1 and remember thinking even at the time it was rather hokum in some regards, but still a good fun game with likeable characters and some memorable moments.

I'd be lying if I said I could remember much of the original very clearly as it was a long time ago, but the remake 'felt' right to me in terms of its tone.

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 12:38 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 13934
Hearthly wrote:
Tell me more about this wanting to be able to save your game thing.

/thinks back to the Bioshock Infinite thread.....


I’d say your complaints about save scumming are a bit different from having to replay a 5 minute section of a FPS to having to replay 3 boss fights taking 20 minutes each. It might have autosaved, mind, well, I hope so.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 13:00 
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Hello Hello Hello

Joined: 11th May, 2008
Posts: 13169
History begs to differ.

https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/ ... &start=100

In fact, one of my primary complaints there is essentially the same as yours from last night.

Attachment:
history.JPG


You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 13:03 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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Satsuma wrote:
Baddie: "Who do you think you are?"
Barret: "I'm AVALANCHE!"
Aerith: "I run a flower shop!"
Dog "AND I'M A DOG *WOOF*"

That's one of my favourite bits (it was "local florist" and "lab rat dog", I think).

And your spoiler actually makes no real sense unless you've played the original, in which case it's a massive deal and things that are different between the original and the remake start to make sense and when you work it out it's breath-taking.

But, er, you'll feel none of that so, um... :shrug:

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 13:06 
SupaMod
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Look how great it is!

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 14:28 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 13934
I hear that this game is something like just the first 5 hours of the original. How longs that then? Is there much more to it?


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 14:40 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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Ended.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
OMG ZACK!? :meh:

Barret is the worse dad ever.

How the fuck did Charlie Sheen survive?


Ok, cool, I’ll play the next one.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 14:44 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Hahaha well this game ends about a third of the way into disc 1 of 3 soooo....

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 14:52 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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Shit. I didn’t realise that at all.

And how fucking stinghy are the trophies. Finished the game and not even a single silver or gold for the trouble? Silver needs all the fucking dresses, all quests and all music? And to get a gold you’ve got to play the whole fucking thing on hard? Cheap ass muthas


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 14:56 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 13934
And I’ve just noticed it’s got a nice reversible inlay too. Game didn’t tell me shit.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2021 19:33 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 13934
Also turns out that the original Final Fantasy 7 is on Game Pass. I gave it a quick boot earlier to see what it looks like on my Xbox Series X: The Worlds Most Powerful Console.








Looks like dogshit.


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2021 21:42 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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That's not unreasonable, it's 20 years old

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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2021 8:43 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 36926
How many 240p screens would fit on a 4k display?

More than 4 I reckon


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 Post subject: Re: Final Fantasy VII
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2021 17:03 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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1080p on Xbox, apparently. I counted 12 pixels but then gave up. Those twelve made up the entirety of Clouds model.


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