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 Post subject: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 14:27 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
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http://longestjokeintheworld.com/


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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 14:28 
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Location: Shropshire, UK
Pah, it's only a long joke because they've restricted the column width.

It's a great joke though, when you spin it out to half an hour and then finish with the punchline. People want to punch you.


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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 14:34 
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DavPaz wrote:
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/


As soon as I read the word desert, I knew what the punchline was going to be. :facepalm:


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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 15:05 
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UltraMod

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DavPaz wrote:
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

Hah!

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:04 
Awesome
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Yes

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It certainly wasn't http://funniestjokeintheworld.com, but it killed a few minutes, so hooray!

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:26 
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Hibernating Druid

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When traveling, I tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and I'm not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to my destination. I also tend to be very attentive, patient and a long lasting lover, I enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:30 
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Sitting balls-back folder

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I read a bit before getting bored and skipping to the end. According to the psyche stuff at the end that means I'm the sort of person who


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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:43 
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Excellent Member

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tl;dr. Obviously.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:43 
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I read it all, as I have had nothing better to do today.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:44 
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Hibernating Druid

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Alarm wrote:
tl;dr. Obviously.

And that is why I would never sleep with you.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:47 
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Est. 1978

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Zardoz wrote:
When traveling, I tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and I'm not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to my destination. I also tend to be very attentive, patient and a long lasting lover, I enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

They didn't have a section for "adjusted the table width so it wasn't so stupidly thin".

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:48 
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Yes

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Grim... wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
When traveling, I tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and I'm not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to my destination. I also tend to be very attentive, patient and a long lasting lover, I enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

They didn't have a section for "adjusted the table width so it wasn't so stupidly thin".


Haar.
"Entered author mode to remove stupid formatting" here.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 17:04 
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Excellent Member

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Zardoz wrote:
Alarm wrote:
tl;dr. Obviously.

And that is why I would never sleep with you.

Good.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 17:12 
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Yes

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Alarm wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Alarm wrote:
tl;dr. Obviously.

And that is why I would never sleep with you.

Good.


He wouldn't get much sleeping done anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:11 
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Est. 1978

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The joke doesn't really work unless you're an American, either.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:13 
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baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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I enjoyed it.

Reminded me of this one. I've heard it told better (and more long-winded) though:

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor.

His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive. Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg and fracturing his skull.

He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told there was no liability and He could get lost!

You can imagine he was very annoyed with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever.

All the posters came down, the toys were given away - tractors were GONE.

Many years later, Joe went into a bar for a drink. Inside, the cigarette and cigar smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at the bar on her own. Tears were streaming down her face.

Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears.

With that, Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again. He goes back into the bar where the air is now clear and sweet and sits down next to the girl.

"That was amazing!" she said, "How did you do that?"

"No problem", said Joe

"I'm an ex-tractor fan"


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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:32 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
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Ouch, that actually hurt my sense of humor. but at least it wasnt so bloody narrow.


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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:34 
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It's also unrealistic, as we have a smoking ban in public buildings.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 19:07 
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Hibernating Druid

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You're assuming the date of the event is 2007 onwards and that the scene is set within the boundaries of the United Kingdom.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 21:05 
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It's a reasonable assumption to make.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 21:18 
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Sleepyhead

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When I did Beex Weex, the punch line to this joke was my subtitle.

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 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 0:28 
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I was half-expecting the punch line to be
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
THE ARISTOCRATS!


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