Be Excellent To Each Other

He talks like a complete twat but is pretty well respected in the hip-hop community for being one of the first mainstream UK DJs championing the music over here. I'm glad he exists.

I think there's a 5th stage, where you appreciate his self-aware mockery of the persona. He used to turn up on the Chris Moyles show, and did a feature called "Where am I!" which was occasionally the funniest thing in the world.

"I like sausages!!"

That is the very catchphrase I'm talking about.

The scary thing about Westwood: he's been doing the same shtick since 1985... and that's just counting his legal broadcasts. He was a pirate DJ before then.

He's 54 years old.

He has 12 toes and is the son of god.

Only from the edges of his house to the centre line. I've decided the best course of action is to knock on his door, apologise for any inconcenience caused, give him a bmxh of flowers. Ask him which bits are his, show him the title plan then park on the bit he doesn't own outside his house. I'm a bit aggrieved over his conduct especially as MrsA started her new job this morning.

I read that as you had a note when parking outside the pub... Is that not the case? Was it outside your house?

I'm having a cup of tea in the Wetherspoons in Bingley. It is a third full of half cut pensioners. Already. The boarded up building society is opposite.

Oh, on Saturday when I drove through the town centre in the Transit, I had to stop at a pedestrian crossing. On the other side, waiting for the lights to change was a Veryon. I told MrsA it was an up and coming area.

She's also letne gave thebasement as a playroom, so the spare TV, XBox, PC, guitar And amp are going in there. We're short on bookcases, need a new sofa as one broke, and some other stuff. Living in a house with four floors is ace, though. I'm very happy.

Sorry, it was on the road we now live on, outside the next door but one neighbours place. I'm half tempted to ask him for a licence to park a car there and offer him a fiver for it. I like to be helpful, me.

I'm sure he'd love a Floral BMX for the inconcenience caused.

Better still, just do:



Then have him prosecuted when he illegally clamps or tows your car. It's the only language they understand, etc.

I'd do a mea culpa bit, frankly. "Sorry about that, we've just moved in, didn't know. It's pretty unusual for someone to own title to the curbside outside their house. It's interesting, tell me about it..."

From: The 6 Weirdest Jobs in China | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-weird ... z1XvT6geoJ



Sorry for the spammy post, but the quote struck me as shareable.

Apology accepted.

But not forgiven.

New job is .... interesting. It's kind of a mixture of tracing agent and automatic questioning machine.

I'll probably end up doing this. No sense crossing any rubicons just yet, and he might have friends on the road, so making a pariah of myself within 24 hours, although an achievement, would be bad.

I'm getting interesting service up here, though, probably because of my accent. Tim Taylor's Best is £2.85 a pint, cheaper than the internet cafe. Honest. Yum.

Some mates went on this for a stag do, said it was ace:

http://www.nottinghamdriving.com/

£92.00 per person
Rage Buggies
Quad Bikes
Chuckle Buggies
& Bungee Run
VIP Night Club Entry
One Nights Accommodation

Pretty cheap for all that and accommodation and everything. BeeX meet, maybe?

Defo.

Probably have to be next year though.

Yep.

Heh, I see that for £8 more, you can also have "Laser Pigeon Shooting" and "VIP Lap Dancing" included.

When are you getting married, our kid?

I imagine the £4 lap dancer in Nottingham is Myps.

Now you've made me imagine that.

Sounds like a blast, i'd be up for that

Nottingham isn't that far from me.. I may be interested.

Wait. Why the fuck is 31 'over the hill and made of fail'? Eh? Bastards?

Blame the person who started the thread :-)

I put it down to a lack of life experience :-)

Oh look it's the flu, hello flu.

Flu-hello Benjamin.

Brushing The Girl's hair.
"ow!"
"It doesn't hurt"
"How do you know that."

Henry Winkler's just got an OBE for his goodly works with dyslexic children!

Henry Winkler was of course world famous for his role as Barry Zuckerhorn, an immensely popular character who, more than any, was considered a zeitgeist for his time. ["Subs please check," - ed.]

Excellently, the Beeb felt it necessary to add this at the end of the article:

Heeeey.

It's a fair point!

FTFY.

Maybe you were getting him confused with Hong Kong Phooey.

Is... is this a joke, or not?

http://www.dazsampson.co.uk/

Being in a strange town, not knowing anyone and only being able to get net access in cafes and pubs is an odd existence. Today I went to a Launderette, which is a bit like a games arcade, except the only game is make clothes slightly less dirty. As I was the only one there, I didn't want to use all the machines in case some more people turned up, so I did three loads sequentially, and as the third was finishing, a lady came in and used the remaining two machines. I have learnt something today. We think the fleas have all gone, although MrsA is still worried as they prefer her to me, but I assume that this is what life in the North is like. Beer is fairlhy cheap, at under £3 a pint, but you don't get a pint, you get about 7/8 a pint and the rest is froth. There was an article in the paper about someone who has found a ferret and wishes to trace its owner, which amused me.

So, to compensate for that, here's a picture of the basement of the pied a terre:



It's a work in progress, but the ceiling is too low for someone of my height to use a kinect, and enthusiastic rock band stuff might end up with a sore bonce. However, I think it is suitably soundproofed to allow me to play games loud and late at night. I need a wireless doodah for the XBox, though, once SKY makes the internet work for me again. I want to get a large table in there, too for board games, but suspect it'll get limited use. The basement smells slightly of damp, but I think after a while it'll go away, if the XBox churns out heat.

Sleeping on the top floor means that making MrsA tea in the morning is a long trek back upstairs.

So, apart from the threat of fleas, people treating me with slight suspicion, and being slightly lonely, it's OK. I'm going to help a friend move a sofa tomorrow in Leeds, so that will be an exciting trip out.

Overall, I really like the house, it's awesome, and, once we get sorted properly, it'd be a pleasure for people to drop around if you are in the area.

Super stuff Mali. Have you done anything about the parking Nazi?

I've decided to ignore it, as, frankly, I'm far too busy and important to deal with the likes of him. For the time being. The man over the road sunbathes in his speedos for most of the day. Reading a book. I suspect most people on that street are quite mad.

They're not mad, they're Northern.

Glad you like the house, I'm sure a charismatic chap like you won't be lonely for long, either

Heh. When you mentioned your original plan all I could picture was David Mitchell trying to offer a bunch of flowers to a confused and quite angry Brian Glover.

I have the same chair as MaliA.

Always ask for a top up if there's too much head.

Glad you're settling in ok. Basement looks cool. Have to meet up, now you're in the North there's no excuse.

Yeah, when *is* the housewarming?

L-LOL

Now all the pensioners in Wetherspoons think I'm mad.

Christ knows, like I've a say in what I do with whom and when.

Sage advice in most of the brothels in MaliA's new town too, I should imagine.