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The Lovely Bones is a 2002 novel by Alice Sebold. It is the story of a teenage girl who, after being raped and murdered, watches from Heaven as her family and friends struggle to move on with their lives while she comes to terms with her own death. The novel received much critical praise and became an instant bestseller

Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite.

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite.

Oh, so many times :this:

I may well be derided for this, but I hated Catch 22.

The characters were just so annoying, and the whole thing seemed so pointless (possibly part of the point, futility of war or something), and it pissed me off. It wasn't badly written or anything, but the way it seemed to jump around didn't appeal.

I wish I could write something long, detailed and well-reasoned that tore it to pieces but I can't. It just irritated the piss out of me and took ages to read. I actually put it down for quite a long time, even reading A Brief History of Time for some light relief.

Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Boring Twat. Even the punctuation was bad.

sinister agent wrote:

A Portrait of the Artist as a Boring Twat. Even the punctuation was bad.

Is this sarcasm?

Mr Dave wrote:

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite.

Oh, so many times :this:

And a big

from me as well.

A Brief History of Time

Any one of those books about a woman moans about her idiot husband (and not in a fun, normal way that people who genuinely love each other do, but with genuine contempt, as though her marrying him wasn't entirely her own stupid fucking fault), who along with every other character in the book (teenagers score double points here, because market research indicates that the target demographic probably has one) is nothing more than a paper-thin stereotype, and then chucks him in a manner designed to get the witless to shout "you go girl", and goes on to have some excruciatingly middle-class adventure like starting an 'interior design' (never decorating, oh no) business, or doling out bland and obvious articles/relationship advice to other people whose first nugget of advice should really have been "never pass on your genes or idiot opinions to some poor defenceless infant". She'll usually be called Jridget Bones, and these books prove further that you really can judge a book by its cover, because every single one looks exactly the same.

The equivalent books targeted at men, which are all called things like HONOR OF THE DEATH KILL PRESIDENT (the capitals are important, also the font must be either metallic or near-futuristic computer HUD-like). I have less contempt for these because while they're just as insulting and crap as the above ones, they tend to at least tend to be somewhat researched (anything to do with the military, basically), and something actually happens in them.

The Suspicions of Mr Whicher. It just never fucking started.

Anything by A E van Vogt. Similarly, I thought the basic plots were OK, but he'd introduce a random concept without explaining it sufficiently as a kind of 'get out of jail free' device.

Anything by David Eddings. I read The Belgariad series and although the plots were OK, it was his writing style that got on my tits, e.g. having one of the characters 'swing by' to visit someone. I think it's inappropriate for 'epic fantasy' to use contemporary expressions.

Kern wrote:

Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk.

I do wish he'd stick to writing books on Biology rather than sticking his nose in some sort of atheist movement, where he does more harm than good. I've really enjoyed his non-religious books.

Malabelm wrote:

Kern wrote:

Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk.

I do wish he'd stick to writing books on Biology rather than sticking his nose in some sort of atheist movement, where he does more harm than good. I've really enjoyed his non-religious books.

I was lent it by a friend and I can't bring myself to read it.

I second Steig Larsson. Genuinely the dullest book I've ever started to read. Gave up after 100 pages of tedious family history.

myoptikakaka wrote:

I was lent it by a friend and I can't bring myself to read it.

Always have to bring religion into it, no wonder you can't read it.

Conversely, I liked Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver, it has a very subtle humour, that appeals to me. Plus, I like the period aspect of it (don't tell the wife!).

Zardoz wrote:

myoptikakaka wrote:

I was lent it by a friend and I can't bring myself to read it.

Always have to bring religion into it, no wonder you can't read it.

Wow - tenuous ?:|

I'm fairly sure I just heard Sinister Agent exploding.

"Unchained Melanie", but yes, :spew:

There's a recording that needs to be made!

Author:	Mimi [ Sat May 14, 2011 11:21 ]
Post subject:	Books
Someone once gave me a copy of The Lovely Bones, by Alice Seabold. I disliked it to the point that instead of passing it on or giving it to charity I tore it up and put the pages in the recycling bin Quote: The Lovely Bones is a 2002 novel by Alice Sebold. It is the story of a teenage girl who, after being raped and murdered, watches from Heaven as her family and friends struggle to move on with their lives while she comes to terms with her own death. The novel received much critical praise and became an instant bestseller It wasn't just cynically written to prompt emotional guilt, but the writing was pretty shoddy, too. Also, the Stieg Larsson 'Girl with the too many novels written about her' series, which is just a middle aged man's fantasy of being some kind of sex magnet writ large and read by too many people. Goodness me it is awful, turgid stuff. He merely walks into a room before every woman appears naked in the doorway, demanding sex. I try to avoid anything that remains in a bookshop window for more than two weeks for this reason, now.

Author:	Cras [ Sat May 14, 2011 11:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Appleseed by John Clute. It's like he swallowed a thesaurus and shat it out all over the page. There are perilous few books in my life I've ever started and not finished, but that's one of them.

Author:	MaliA [ Sat May 14, 2011 11:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Atomised.

Author:	Doctor Glyndwr [ Sat May 14, 2011 11:58 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite.

Author:	Mimi [ Sat May 14, 2011 11:59 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I didn't even bother trying with Dan Brown.

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Author:	Mr Dave [ Sat May 14, 2011 12:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Doctor Glyndwr wrote: Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite. Oh, so many times

Author:	sinister agent [ Sat May 14, 2011 14:20 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Heart of Darkness. There are approximately seventy words in the entire book that are not some permuation of "heart" or "dark". Also, almost nothing happens, very slowly. Every time I turned a page, I heard Bernard Black's line, louder and louder of "enjoy! It's dreadful, but it's quite short." A Portrait of the Artist as a Boring Twat. Quite the most tedious pile of nob I've ever read. I spent almost a month trying to find something interesting enough about it to get more than 100 pages in and failed miserably. Even the punctuation was bad. Any of of those "misery memoirs", which are mostly complete fabrications and all entirely geared towards sadistic voyeurism masquerading as shock and sympathy. I wouldn't mind so much if the people who read them just admitted that they're fascinated by the sadism (which is a pretty normal human thing), but no, they have to pretend it's about how 'inspirational' they are. The pansy arse fucking nonces. Any one of those books about a woman moans about her idiot husband (and not in a fun, normal way that people who genuinely love each other do, but with genuine contempt, as though her marrying him wasn't entirely her own stupid fucking fault), who along with every other character in the book (teenagers score double points here, because market research indicates that the target demographic probably has one) is nothing more than a paper-thin stereotype, and then chucks him in a manner designed to get the witless to shout "you go girl", and goes on to have some excruciatingly middle-class adventure like starting an 'interior design' (never decorating, oh no) business, or doling out bland and obvious articles/relationship advice to other people whose first nugget of advice should really have been "never pass on your genes or idiot opinions to some poor defenceless infant". She'll usually be called Jridget Bones, and these books prove further that you really can judge a book by its cover, because every single one looks exactly the same. The equivalent books targeted at men, which are all called things like HONOR OF THE DEATH KILL PRESIDENT (the capitals are important, also the font must be either metallic or near-futuristic computer HUD-like). I have less contempt for these because while they're just as insulting and crap as the above ones, they tend to at least tend to be somewhat researched (anything to do with the military, basically), and something actually happens in them. Dan Brown. The very first page conjured an unshakable image of a man sat at a computer hollering "HEY MAW! I PRESSED THE BUTTON AND THE WORD DONE CAME ON THE SCREEN!", then spending an hour trying to decide which of his young children's homework he should plagiarise before copping off for a wank (which he'd later pass off to a journalist as research).

Author:	Zardoz [ Sat May 14, 2011 17:43 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I hated the Necronomicon when it fell on my face. But I like it again now.

Author:	Four_Candles [ Sat May 14, 2011 18:15 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Mr Dave wrote: Doctor Glyndwr wrote: Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite. Oh, so many times And a big from me as well.

Author:	Sir Taxalot [ Sun May 15, 2011 8:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I may well be derided for this, but I hated Catch 22. The characters were just so annoying, and the whole thing seemed so pointless (possibly part of the point, futility of war or something), and it pissed me off. It wasn't badly written or anything, but the way it seemed to jump around didn't appeal. I wish I could write something long, detailed and well-reasoned that tore it to pieces but I can't. It just irritated the piss out of me and took ages to read. I actually put it down for quite a long time, even reading A Brief History of Time for some light relief.

Author:	Lord Rixondale [ Sun May 15, 2011 10:13 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Sir Taxalot wrote: I may well be derided for this, but I hated Catch 22. The characters were just so annoying, and the whole thing seemed so pointless (possibly part of the point, futility of war or something), and it pissed me off. It wasn't badly written or anything, but the way it seemed to jump around didn't appeal. I wish I could write something long, detailed and well-reasoned that tore it to pieces but I can't. It just irritated the piss out of me and took ages to read. I actually put it down for quite a long time, even reading A Brief History of Time for some light relief. If anyone has made it past the first five chapters of Catch 22, they're a more patient person than I am. That book is impossible to read.

Author:	Kern [ Sun May 15, 2011 11:21 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Malcolm Gladwell's 'Blink': because frankly I could have taken a few anecdotes, quoted the first few papers that appeared on 'Google Scholar' for 'quick decision-making' and become a billionarie intellectual. Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk. Ayn Rand's 'Atlas Shrugged': just say 'no' kids. Orwell's 'Animal Farm' works as a political allegory because he didn't stop the action every so often so Benjamin the cynical donkey could tell us what to think, and he didn't have horrifically disgusting yet somehow stilted sex scenes either. Man, that's a month's reading I'm never going to get back.

Author:	Malabelm [ Sun May 15, 2011 12:10 ]
Post subject:	Books
Kern wrote: Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk. I do wish he'd stick to writing books on Biology rather than sticking his nose in some sort of atheist movement, where he does more harm than good. I've really enjoyed his non-religious books.

Author:	YOG [ Sun May 15, 2011 12:14 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Yeah, Atlas fucking Shrugged. The Fountainhead is minging, too. It's one long, boring meditation on the virtues of selfishness, the acquisition of wealth, and projectile vomiting at the thought of sharing that wealth. She writes in a shrill, haughty and didactic voice, and presents a morally black-and-white world full of characters with weird and unbelievable motivations. What's not to love? I hate the fact that I have American friends who think Rand was right about everything, too. She was of some value as a proponent of freethinking, but otherwise, bleeergh.

Author:	Derek The Halls [ Sun May 15, 2011 20:32 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Some big thick sci fi book I was given as a birthday present about 10 years or more ago. Far too trendy 60s. I can't remember who it's by or what it's called now, sadly. The Unconsoled by the bloke who did Never Let Me Go and Remains of the Day. Bizarre goings off which are interesting at first but ultimately amount to nothing as far as I could tell and it just left me wondering why I'd bothered getting through it. I kept waiting for something to happen and it just didn't seem to. Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett. About 50 pages in and it was still all over the place seemingly offering no coherent plot at all, I gave up. Small Gods, The Truth, Going Postal and Making Money remain excellent though.

Author:	Pundabaya [ Sun May 15, 2011 22:08 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson. I love Snow Crash and Zodiac. This blows more goats than Zardoz trapped on a goat farm for a week and a half. It doesn't get going. At all. I

Author:	sinister agent [ Mon May 16, 2011 1:53 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I have no problem with pulp - I like Matt Reilly, for a start, and his books are bloody ridiculous. But there's a brand of cynical, lazy, insultingly dull tat that gets put out and it's all so utterly generic it makes me want to puke. Same way there's a difference between good pop and by the numbers pop, good silly action films and bad silly action films.

Author:	Mimi [ Mon May 16, 2011 7:12 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I have a school friend with, I can never quite remember, 400 or 600+ Mills and Boon books. She has six delivered by mail every month, plus she regularly tops up her (I think we can call it) addiction with additional books, and they are always in offer, 4 for the price of 3, or whatever, so she'll never just buy one... She likes particular series, such as the medical romances (?) and keeps them all pristinely organised into the biggest walk-in cupboard you ever saw. She studied English Literature at university, so I'm sure she's in tune with what makes a good literary work, she just loves them! I only see her once every year or two, but it's always one of the first things I find myself asking her about

Author:	Decca [ Sun May 15, 2011 12:22 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
There is a very very good audio book of Catch 22, my dad used to have it on in the car every day and loved it. The one you want is read by Peter Whitman and seem to only be available on cassette.

Author:	WTB [ Sun May 15, 2011 12:26 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
sinister agent wrote: A Portrait of the Artist as a Boring Twat. Even the punctuation was bad. Is this sarcasm?

Author:	sinister agent [ Sun May 15, 2011 16:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Sir Taxalot wrote: I may well be derided for this, but I hated Catch 22. The characters were just so annoying, and the whole thing seemed so pointless (possibly part of the point, futility of war or something), and it pissed me off. It wasn't badly written or anything, but the way it seemed to jump around didn't appeal. I wish I could write something long, detailed and well-reasoned that tore it to pieces but I can't. It just irritated the piss out of me and took ages to read. I actually put it down for quite a long time, even reading A Brief History of Time for some light relief. Ooh, I knew there was one I'd forgotten. Catch 22 got on my tits as well. It was annoying, repetitive, and unbearably smug. The central line about what Catch 22 actually comes from was very clever, and when I forced myself to give it another chance and read the whole thing rather than just half, I found that the bit where Yossarian was walking around the Italian city showed a hint of actual character development and had some quite poignant lines, those two aspects made up about 2 pages. That's not enough.

Author:	GovernmentYard [ Sun May 15, 2011 17:49 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
The Sword of Shannara. I liked all the prequel stuff set now and near future, two trilogies' worth I think it was... so I went for the one that started it all off. Lord of the bloody Clones. Ah yes, but if you give it more time and keep reading and..... NO.

Author:	Goddess Jasmine [ Sun May 15, 2011 18:59 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I'm just reading 'Children Who Kill' and quite frankly it is very badly written. I certainly wont be buying anything else by her. I don't like supposedly factual books that dramatise an already dramatic/awful story any further and it's a shame, because the case studies in it are rather interesting.

Author:	Plissken [ Sun May 15, 2011 21:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
There are only two Pratchetts I've disliked, "Monstrous Regiment" and the one about football, which remains the only one I never finished because I was bored of it. Still, decent hit rate. The Suspicions of Mr Whicher. It just never fucking started.

Author:	Goddess Jasmine [ Sun May 15, 2011 21:31 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I tried his first one (The Colour of Magic?) it bored me so I never got too far into it.

Author:	Sledge [ Sun May 15, 2011 23:51 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Four_Candles wrote: Mr Dave wrote: Doctor Glyndwr wrote: Dan Brown. Cannot stand the stuff. Makes Larsson look erudite. Oh, so many times And a big from me as well. My introduction to Dan Brown was the audio-book of Deception Point. I really quite enjoyed it -- whatever else the man may or may not be, he's a consummate tease. Sir Taxalot wrote: A Brief History of Time Didn't get too far into this one as the accessibility of Dawkins, which I'd just read a wodge of, simply wasn't there. Might give it another look if I can dig it out. While I wouldn't say I hated Tom Holt's Valhalla I did hate the fact that it lacked any sort of clever pay-off, to the extent that it was the first book that popped into my head when I read the thread title. Actually got Catch 22 sitting waiting to be read -- dunno if I'll bother now

Author:	Cras [ Mon May 16, 2011 0:58 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
sinister agent wrote: Any one of those books about a woman moans about her idiot husband (and not in a fun, normal way that people who genuinely love each other do, but with genuine contempt, as though her marrying him wasn't entirely her own stupid fucking fault), who along with every other character in the book (teenagers score double points here, because market research indicates that the target demographic probably has one) is nothing more than a paper-thin stereotype, and then chucks him in a manner designed to get the witless to shout "you go girl", and goes on to have some excruciatingly middle-class adventure like starting an 'interior design' (never decorating, oh no) business, or doling out bland and obvious articles/relationship advice to other people whose first nugget of advice should really have been "never pass on your genes or idiot opinions to some poor defenceless infant". She'll usually be called Jridget Bones, and these books prove further that you really can judge a book by its cover, because every single one looks exactly the same. The equivalent books targeted at men, which are all called things like HONOR OF THE DEATH KILL PRESIDENT (the capitals are important, also the font must be either metallic or near-futuristic computer HUD-like). I have less contempt for these because while they're just as insulting and crap as the above ones, they tend to at least tend to be somewhat researched (anything to do with the military, basically), and something actually happens in them. I have no objection to dumb books whatsoever, of either target gender. They're simply there for a bit of entertainment. Far better that than the amount of shit that's out there by authors who think they're far cleverer than they are.

Author:	Zen-Chan [ Mon May 16, 2011 6:58 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I know a lot of people consider it to be an absolute classic, but I never got on with Gravity's Rainbow.

Author:	Decca [ Mon May 16, 2011 7:07 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Plissken wrote: The Suspicions of Mr Whicher. It just never fucking started. I just read that, it takes a while to get into the style but I found it well worth it in the end.

Author:	MaliA [ Mon May 16, 2011 7:16 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I'm fairly sure I just heard Sinister Agent exploding.

Author:	Warhead [ Mon May 16, 2011 9:29 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Anything by David Eddings. I read The Belgariad series and although the plots were OK, it was his writing style that got on my tits, e.g. having one of the characters 'swing by' to visit someone. I think it's inappropriate for 'epic fantasy' to use contemporary expressions. Anything by A E van Vogt. Similarly, I thought the basic plots were OK, but he'd introduce a random concept without explaining it sufficiently as a kind of 'get out of jail free' device. A few Terry Pratchetts didn't do it for me, either e.g. Nation, Monstrous Regiment, Lords and Ladies and possibly a couple of others that I've forgotten.

Author:	Grim... [ Mon May 16, 2011 9:35 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Yo.

Author:	Curiosity [ Mon May 16, 2011 9:48 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
I second Steig Larsson. Genuinely the dullest book I've ever started to read. Gave up after 100 pages of tedious family history. The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time. Most overrated book in the history of books. OOOOH, I'M AUTISTIC! OOOOH, I'M COPYING PUZZLES FROM OTHER PEOPLE! Dammit man, at least write the book yourself, you idiotic, plagiarising twat! Oh, and the least convincing police officer ever ("I'm here to ensure this boy never leaves my sight, on a train... ah, we're at a station... sure kid, you go to the toilet on your own... oh no, you ran off!"). "The Diamond Age" by Neal Stephenson. Loved his other books, but this just was a load of pretentious wankery. Loved Catch-22 though. Made me laugh.

Author:	Curiosity [ Mon May 16, 2011 9:49 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Warhead wrote: Anything by A E van Vogt. Similarly, I thought the basic plots were OK, but he'd introduce a random concept without explaining it sufficiently as a kind of 'get out of jail free' device. I actually loved him for that very reason. Absolutely hilarious how he'll build up a big world or scenario full of interesting stuff, and then get to the end of the book and almost literally say, "Then the scientist fixed it all".

Author:	Trooper [ Mon May 16, 2011 10:10 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Warhead wrote: Anything by David Eddings. I read The Belgariad series and although the plots were OK, it was his writing style that got on my tits, e.g. having one of the characters 'swing by' to visit someone. I think it's inappropriate for 'epic fantasy' to use contemporary expressions. I loved these when I was 11-12. Re-read them recently, and they are the the most patronising and misogynistic books i've ever read. I even recall thinking at the time, when I was 11, that how come every single woman in the book is "the most beautiful". You can't get more cliched fantasy than Eddings!

Author:	myp [ Mon May 16, 2011 10:16 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Malabelm wrote: Kern wrote: Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk. I do wish he'd stick to writing books on Biology rather than sticking his nose in some sort of atheist movement, where he does more harm than good. I've really enjoyed his non-religious books. I was lent it by a friend and I can't bring myself to read it.

Author:	Zardoz [ Mon May 16, 2011 10:38 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
myoptikakaka wrote: Malabelm wrote: Kern wrote: Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion': a smug, patronising work read by those who want to feel smug and enjoy patronising others. Almost made me renounce my lack of faith and become a monk. I do wish he'd stick to writing books on Biology rather than sticking his nose in some sort of atheist movement, where he does more harm than good. I've really enjoyed his non-religious books. I was lent it by a friend and I can't bring myself to read it. Always have to bring religion into it, no wonder you can't read it.

Author:	Zio [ Mon May 16, 2011 13:15 ]
Post subject:	Re: Books
Curiosity wrote: I second Steig Larsson. Genuinely the dullest book I've ever started to read. Gave up after 100 pages of tedious family history. I rarely do much reading, but I must say I quite enjoyed Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It does start slowly though, and also ends rather slowly, so some definite pacing issues. I enjoyed it enough to start on the second, but then personal issues meant I couldn't really focus on it and I gave up. Currently having another crack at Dune though. I really didn't enjoy Eoin Colfer's 'And Another Thing...' - I appreciate he's not Douglas Adams, but I was expecting something that resembled a Hitchhikers novel in more than just the name of the characters. I too gave up on LOTR about a quarter of the way through Fellowship, just sooooo dull. That was years ago though and I was in my early teens, so maybe I'd need to try again with my adult head on. I always really struggled to get through Lovecraft's short 'At The Mountains Of Madness' - not sure if that counts here, being as it's a short story. I really wanted to enjoy it, but it's so painfully slow moving.