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Eurovision Song Contest
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7126
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Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

['Czechia' - Ed.]:

"Hey everyone, let's pretend to be a really annoying group of sixth-formers in a band and do things like having the singer prance around or the drummer take each hit with glee. People will love us for our sense of irony. Oh, and lets all wear primary coloured jumpers too".

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Seriously, fuck that act.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Hungary:

I really liked this. Not too slow, nice unfussy orchestrations, pleasing fireworks, and a pretty good voice.

Let's pretend the giant rising head thing never happened.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Belarus:

Minsk's foremost Doctor Who impersonator and some breakdancers. More high boots, but white this time.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Serbia:

The sexier, edgier reboot of the Scottish Widows ad.

She's a good singer, but she's being let down by the orchestration. This needs proper power chords. And dragons. And some sense of urgency. This could be a great metal piece, but it's not. It just never takes off.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Belgium:

Love the big drums and the effort the drummers are making. Not so sure on the singer however. No passion in the voice or the choreography. I think this is the first time a Eurovision nation's ever entered a robot.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 20:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Georgia:

I think the techs have accidentally cued up the Windows 10 log-on screen for the visuals.

I'm also slightly bored, and not even the fire or the monotone backing vocals is making me give a toss. Still, at least it's not the Czech entry.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Australia:

Disney cosplay on stilts.

The dance beat is really incongruous with everything else. The song just seems a mix of different and disparate elements, with no real underlying theme or purpose.

I'll be kind. The physicality of the dancers is really impressive. Even if they end up looking like giant corndogs.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Iceland:

Last time I watched something like this, I kept on getting the buffering symbol at key points.

No need to feel bad about being away on Saturday. For sheer showmanship, ladies and gentleman, Iceland have won Eurovision. All the Eurovisions.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Estonia:

This is great pop. He's clearly enjoying himself, and for once the arrangement fits the song well.
Oh, I'd totally be singing along to this on a motorway in high summer.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Portugal:

A PVC beard. Well, it's novel. But looks like the 1970s Doctor Who artistic designers have been out in force this year. Seriously, what is up with those bird costumes? The dancer is showing a suitable amount of chest, which would normally be distracting, but I just can't take my eyes of those outfits. What are they? The Shit Silurians?

Oh, and the tune is a mediocre blend of standard Europoppy beats overlaid with the odd 'traditional' instrument.

And now he's doing a fake dying bit.

Seriously folks. This is why Eurovision has a reputation.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Greece:

Opening tableau is rather pleasing. Don't often get fencing swords on Eurovision.

Giant White Ball Bonus Activated!

The song isn't great, but the staging, the dresses, the choreography all fits the music well in a pleasant, cohesive, and dreamlike way. The Yin to Iceland's Yang, perhaps.

The TLDR: it's all rather lovely.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

San Marino:

Catchy beat, easy lyrics ('Na na na; na na na; na na na), fun disco staging, but the lead singer is playing the role of creepy brothel owner perfectly and I think we should down our drinks and leave.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

FFS:

Quote:
If you're feeling lonely, we can take it slowly


No. No. No.

But at least you aren't the Czechs.

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Well, the Kern verdict is either Hungary or Estonia.

But Iceland have won Eurovision forever.

Author:  DavPaz [ Tue May 14, 2019 21:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Worth everything for "The Shit Silurians!"

Author:  Kern [ Tue May 14, 2019 22:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

BBC4 just fell off the air. Probably in disgust over Czechia getting through.

Author:  Cras [ Wed May 15, 2019 0:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Kern wrote:
Iceland:

Last time I watched something like this, I kept on getting the buffering symbol at key points.


:DD

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

And here we go again for another Eurosemi!

The EBU ident is always the highlight of this farrago.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Aremnia:
Ooo, that was good.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Ireland:

That was good too. I think the staging kind of detracted from it. But, y'know, Eurovision.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Moldova:

Again, very listenable with a good song and vocals. Seriously guys, if the only thing I can be snarky about is the whole woman-tracing-shapes-in-sand thing that was big on Youtube 8 years ago, I'm might as well stop now.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Switzerland:

Oh hello.

And the song's pretty decent too.

I'm really struggling for things to say now. Maybe this is all down to the fact that Iceland have already won?

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Latvia:

Double bass! Great singing voice. Fun, catchy tune. Atmospheric and low-key visuals.

Stylistically very different to the previous acts, yet still charming and listenable . Oh God, who will rid me of this parade of acceptable acts cease? You're doing Eurovision wrong!

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Romania:

Oh, it's Missy!

This is more like it. Gloomy graveyards settings. Goths. Fireworks. Masked dancers. BATS! FUCKING BATS!

And yet the music isn't objectionable or poorly orchestrated or anything that would make me switch station if it came on the radio.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Denmark:

Sexy school girl vibe? Something's visible through that blouse.

Plinky-plonky tune. Check.
Optimistic lyrics about love for everyone. Check.
Swinging backing singers. Check.

This is more Eurovisiony. But still not offensive. They'd be in for a shot at the victory, had Iceland not gone and won.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Sweden:

Oh hello.

Good understated staging.

Unexpected Gospel interlude!

Excellent song. My favourite so far.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Austria:

Good vocals.

Again, minimalist but effective staging. Song isn't doing much for me musically, but I 'm struggling to actually fault it in any way.

Shit, this is the hardest Eurosemi ever.

Author:  Mimi [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

8)

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Croatia:

Oooo, trippy tunnel opening. Bonus marks for the dry ice.

Earnest movements.

Angels! GOLD PLATED ANGELS! Gold plated angels with slightly-too-tight trousers!

Utterly unmemorable song, mind. But this is more like it.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Malta:

Filmed live from a Rhino-Hero tower!

Dancers pretending to swim!

The chorus is, at least, memorable. But I think the verses just aren't working. Perhaps they're taking it too slowly, or not handling the shifts in tempo/mood particularly well?

Author:  Cras [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Kern wrote:
hardest Eurosemi ever.


Obvious title.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 20:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Lithuania:

Hello.

If we're supposed to be running wild, running with the lions, we'd be doing it far faster than this. Also no sense of passion in his singing. I think you're just going through the motions and just want to get the business over with so you can go to the supermarket.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Russia:

Clever staging. Thought they were mirrors but screens. Surprisingly effective.

Singing in a box with water pouring down the front, less so. Yes, we get the visual metaphor. But the artist is carrying all of the performance himself. Very impressed.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Albania:

Flames. Ominous drumming. Random chanting. Black and gold flowing dress. I don't know what this song is about, but I think someone's about to get sacrificed. Painfully.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Norway:

'Spirit in the sky'. But not that one.

Norwegian yodelling!

Giant polygonal reindeer!

Um. They're having fun. I guess.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

The Netherlands:

Oh, this is a good ballad. I think they should have kept the staging with just him and the baby grand, because the flash of light and the orb promised much but didn't go anywhere.
I liked it.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

North Macedonia:

We're supposed to be proud, to raise our voice and shout it loudly, and that's all very well and good but this is a funereal dirge. Could have done so much more with this.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Azerbaijan:

Robots! Robots with lasers! Yes! It's taken 18 songs but we've finally got something worthy of Eurovision.

"She is a killer with the freaking perfume". Quality lyrics too.

Author:  Kern [ Thu May 16, 2019 21:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Well, that's our lot.

Far too many non-objectionable acts made for a rather disappointingly dull competition. I just need to find the big 5s clips then I'll be done for this year as I won't be able to watch the final. But there's no point, because Iceland ran away with the prize a long time ago.

Giphy "eurovision"":
https://media3.giphy.com/media/Angrk3U9gq8OQ/giphy-loop.mp4

Author:  romanista [ Fri May 17, 2019 16:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Kern wrote:
The Netherlands:

Oh, this is a good ballad. I think they should have kept the staging with just him and the baby grand, because the flash of light and the orb promised much but didn't go anywhere.
I liked it.



Apparantly we are by far the top favouriten which will probably result in dissapointment

Last week there were already discussions on which city would be allowed to host it.

Author:  Zardoz [ Fri May 17, 2019 17:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Not heard it yet but I want Iceland to win.

Author:  DavPaz [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Make. It. Stop.

Author:  MaliA [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Just turned it on. Norway were brilliant

Author:  DavPaz [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

UK guy was brilliant.

Nil points, here we come!

Author:  Mimi [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

I think the Uk chap is smashing. He looks like Michael Ball has shrunk back to his teens and gone on Eurovision. It’s a catchy tune, though. A solid nil pointer.

Author:  Mimi [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Hmmm

Author:  DavPaz [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Mimi wrote:
Hmmm

Iceland, right?

Bananas

Author:  DavPaz [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

We've got the subtitles on so we don't miss any Norton Snark

Author:  Mimi [ Sat May 18, 2019 21:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: Eurovision Song Contest

DavPaz wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Hmmm

Iceland, right?

Yes.

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