Iran, then.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22288

It was always going to come after the invasion of Iraq. So, lets start a sweepstake on when the invasion will happen.
I'm betting March 2013.

Or is this too cynical...

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16575

Heh, I dunno. I think that the current economic climate might force a postponement. What the fuck are we going to send in anyway? Two Tornadoes, the Red Arrows and the Battle Of Britain Memorial Flight?

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:24

Iran is a really, really good place to go skiing in. I think September, as otherwise you'll be fighting through the hotter part of the year?

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

We (the West) would never ever invade Iran. How would we do it? Even the US is short handed at the moment because of current "commitments". There's no short term exit from either of the sandpits we and they are currently playing in, and we've barely got two blokes and an icecream van left spare. The most likely thing is that there would be a nudge nudge wink wink conversation between the US and Israel (assuming Obama has made up with Binny by then) and then the IAF would drop a metric fuckton of munitions on Iran's suspected noookleor weponz sites.

myp · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:31

I don't understand what's happened between the UK and Iran, because we used to be so chummy. USA's fault, I guess.

Now they're expelling ambassadors willy nilly.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38489

I have an Iranian friend. He thinks the UK is too warm. He lived in the mountains back home.

His name is Roozbeh.

myp · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:36

I have an Iranian friend. He likes good music.

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:36

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

We (the West) would never ever invade Iran. How would we do it? Even the US is short handed at the moment because of current "commitments". There's no short term exit from either of the sandpits we and they are currently playing in, and we've barely got two blokes and an icecream van left spare. The most likely thing is that there would be a nudge nudge wink wink conversation between the US and Israel (assuming Obama has made up with Binny by then) and then the IAF would drop a metric fuckton of munitions on Iran's suspected noookleor weponz sites.

We wouldn't, but we'd sure as hell set up the Commonwealth nations to go and do it. And those military power houses such as Afghanistan
Albania
Angola
Australia
Azerbaijan
Bulgaria
Colombia
Czech Republic
Denmark
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
Eritrea
Estonia
Ethiopia
Georgia
Honduras
Hungary
Iceland
Italy
Japan
Kuwait
Latvia
Lithuania
Macedonia
Marshall Islands
Micronesia
Mongolia
Netherlands
Nicaragua
Palau
Panama
Philippines
Poland
Portugal
Romania
Rwanda
Singapore
Slovakia
Solomon Islands
South Korea
Spain
Tonga
Turkey
Uganda
Ukraine
United Kingdom
United States
Uzbekistan

to hop on board, in exchange for Bratz Dolls and a cheerleader

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

You mean like all those times anyone other than us, the US and Australia have done something like this?

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:38

When was the last time any one of them lost an away fixture?

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6534

Great big air strikes on Iranian nuclear research facilities I can see, although they've probably buried them under a mile of mountain by now, but a full-on invasion would probably be an horrendous, never-ending attrition-tastic slogging match. The Iranian military must be in miles better shape than the Iraqi one was before the invasion.

itsallwater · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 13:05

I also heard [Citation needed] that they spend more on military than any other current country per head. They've invested in hundreds if not thousands of automated defensive artillery. They are ready for an invasion. They are nails! Invade and be guaranteed to be destroyed.

itsallwater · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 13:10

Actually I'm talking bollocks but an invasion would still be pretty hard work [WIKIP]:

Quote:

GlobalSecurity.org estimates Iran could mobilize "up to one million men". This would be among the largest troop mobilizations in the world.[200] In 2007, Iran's military spending represented 2.6% of the GDP or $102 per capita, the lowest figure of the Persian Gulf nations.[201] Iran's military doctrine is based on deterrence.[202]
Since the Iranian Revolution, to overcome foreign embargo, Iran has developed its own military industry, produced its own tanks, armored personnel carriers, guided missiles, submarines, military vessels, guided missile destroyer, radar systems, helicopters and fighter planes.[203][204][205] In recent years, official announcements have highlighted the development of weapons such as the Hoot, Kowsar, Zelzal, Fateh-110, Shahab-3 and Sajjil missiles, and a variety of unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs).[206] The Fajr-3 (MIRV) is currently Iran's most advanced ballistic missile, it is a liquid fuel missile with an undisclosed range which was developed and produced domestically.

kalmar · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 13:18

"Hoot, Kowsar, Zelzal, Fateh-110, Shahab-3 and Sajjil missiles"

Good work by the missile naming dept. there.

Hey, I hope Iran has an entertainingly in-denial information ministry guy like Iraq did. Remember him?

Sorry, sorry, the war thread is no place for levity.

NervousPete · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 13:45

If they launch a barrage of SAM's I demand they call it a 'Hootenanny!'

And that they also shout out, "Shabab!" on each launch of the titular missle, whilst creating a special name for the operators of said delivery system entitled the 'Shabab Ranks'.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5205

markg wrote:

Heh, I dunno. I think that the current economic climate might force a postponement. What the fuck are we going to send in anyway? Two Tornadoes, the Red Arrows and the Battle Of Britain Memorial Flight?

Aren't the Red Arrows grounded again?

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11845

Dr Zoidberg wrote:

markg wrote:

Heh, I dunno. I think that the current economic climate might force a postponement. What the fuck are we going to send in anyway? Two Tornadoes, the Red Arrows and the Battle Of Britain Memorial Flight?

Aren't the Red Arrows grounded again?

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6534

Just they wait until 2030, when we may well have an aircraft carrier! We'll see who's so smart then!

kalmar · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 16:31

We've canceled the aircraft carrier, we're spending the dosh on more clarksons or something.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

kalmar wrote:

We've canceled the aircraft carrier, we're spending the dosh on more clarksons or something.

No, we haven't cancelled the carrier, we've just cancelled the VSTOL planes to go on it. And then ordered ones that require steam catapults to launch them, which require expensive modifications to the carrier to put in a separate steam plant as we were too stupid to have a nuke one.

Our military procurement is beyond parody.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5205

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

kalmar wrote:

We've canceled the aircraft carrier, we're spending the dosh on more clarksons or something.

No, we haven't cancelled the carrier, we've just cancelled the VSTOL planes to go on it. And then ordered ones that require steam catapults to launch them, which require expensive modifications to the carrier to put in a separate steam plant as we were too stupid to have a nuke one.

Our military procurement is beyond parody.

I was quite impressed when they announced the carriers would be ready by 2030, and then said that it might be 10 years before then.
How the fuck can they have that much uncertainty about the schedule...?

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6534

As demonstrated by this headline : http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15749136. Spending less on defence made us spend more on defence!

kalmar · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 16:53

It's never wise to tell goons with guns something they don't want to hear. Because they have guns.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

kalmar wrote:

It's never wise to tell goons with guns something they don't want to hear. Because they have guns.

The trick is to tell it to them while you're holding MOAR GUNS.

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11845

reminds me of a story I was told by an ex-colleague, who we shall call Dr P:

He is a world reknowned explosives expert and was in [middle eastern country X], he drove down the military base on the dock and was stopped at the gate by a local guardsman with an AK47. The guard tapped on the window with the gunbarrel and when the window was lowered pointed the gun in and tracked the window as it lowered, while asking for id. After being let in, Dr P stormed into the camp commandant's (CC) office and started having a go at him about the, "stupid and irresponsible nature of the guards and how didn't like having guns pointed in his face." To which the CC responded, "don't be stupid, we don't give them bullets, they'd just shoot each other!".

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

Seeing as we're harking about Iranian friends, I too have one! Mine is much more obscure because he actually lives in Germany.

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Fri Dec 02, 2011 18:23

Bobbyaro wrote:

reminds me of a story I was told by an ex-colleague, who we shall call Dr P:

He is a world reknowned explosives expert and was in [middle eastern country X], he drove down the military base on the dock and was stopped at the gate by a local guardsman with an AK47. The guard tapped on the window with the gunbarrel and when the window was lowered pointed the gun in and tracked the window as it lowered, while asking for id. After being let in, Dr P stormed into the camp commandant's (CC) office and started having a go at him about the, "stupid and irresponsible nature of the guards and how didn't like having guns pointed in his face." To which the CC responded, "don't be stupid, we don't give them bullets, they'd just shoot each other!".

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

myps pies wrote:

I have an Iranian friend. He likes good music.

Alberto isn't Iranian.

Alberto · **Joined:** 28th Jan, 2011 **Posts:** 1198

throughsilver wrote:

myps pies wrote:

I have an Iranian friend. He likes good music.

Alberto isn't Iranian.

But as a child I always used to demand "Make me more dinner Dad!", so that's probably where he got confused.

Alberto · **Joined:** 28th Jan, 2011 **Posts:** 1198

kalmar wrote:

"Hey, I hope Iran has an entertainingly in-denial information ministry guy like Iraq did. Remember him?

That information is a known unknown I'm afraid. They do have the Elite Republican Guard though

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 23:56

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/mobile/world- ... t-16470100

So. Yeah. Um. Enriching heavy metals for peaceful purposes. Underground. I'd hate to be working there right now. Pint says Israel bombs it first.

NervousPete · **Posted:** Tue Jan 10, 2012 1:04

Quote:

In Paris, a statement by the foreign ministry said the Iranian move "leaves us with no other choice but to reinforce international sanctions and to adopt, with our European partners and all willing countries, measures of an intensity and severity without precedent".

British Foreign Secretary William Hague condemned the "provocative act which further undermines Iran's claims that its programme is entirely civilian in nature".

Could be a flashpoint in that Iran has pledged to blockade the straits if additional sanctions are imposed, and since most of America's oil goes through there America could only respond militarily.

Crumbs.

This site has an interesting take on it:

http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Middle-E ... econsiders

Basically Israel posits military strikes mainly to panic Western allies into applying more pressure on Iran in attempt to find solution. At the same time, Iran rattles sabre but actually is more timid than it makes out.

The Atlantic also has some interesting thoughts on the practicality: http://www.theatlantic.com/internationa ... tes/61669/

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22288

I suspect I wasn't cynical enough in my prediction...

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jan 11, 2012 11:37

Oh

That really, really, isn't cricket.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

MaliA wrote:

Oh

That really, really, isn't cricket.

At the bottom of that article

BBC wrote:

Are you an Iranian scientist?

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jan 11, 2012 11:40

Craster wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Oh

That really, really, isn't cricket.

At the bottom of that article

BBC wrote:

Are you an Iranian scientist?

and further:

Quote:

Are you concerned about the pitfalls of such a career?

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38489

Craster wrote:

At the bottom of that article

BBC wrote:

Are you an Iranian scientist?

Nice try, Obama

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jan 11, 2012 11:57

MaliA wrote:

Craster wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Oh

That really, really, isn't cricket.

At the bottom of that article

BBC wrote:

Are you an Iranian scientist?

and further:

Quote:

Are you concerned about the pitfalls of such a career?

Then you need to contact Accident Lawyers Direct!

Be Excellent To Each Other

Iran, then.
oil, what oil?

Who is online

Be Excellent To Each Other

Iran, then. oil, what oil?

Who is online

Iran, then.
oil, what oil?