Be Excellent To Each Other

Laying in bed t'other night, talking with the gf about how bloody freezing the bed sheets were. (Wild and crazy life, I know!) She mentioned that she often flips her pillow in the middle of the night so that she has the cold side to lie her head on.

I told her in no uncertain terms, that she was a lunatic and of course I didn't do the same, only a mental person would.

Out came the iPhones, and it turns out she has started an elaborate scam that has a fake facebook group with almost a million members:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2241554598
and has even gone to the lengths of creating a fake t-shirt selling website:
http://www.chargrilled.co.uk/t-shirts/I ... -t-shirt.m

Either that or she isn't crazy and this is some phenomenon that I have never heard of until now.

2 questions to the members.

1) I'm totally right aren't I? It's a elaborate scam and nobody is that crazy.
2) What else has passed me by that I really should know about?

I flip.

Cold side of pillow = awesome.

You're wrong here, I'm afraid.

I don't flip the pillow, I just remove one from the bed at some point through the night so I am lying on the cold side of a lower pillow. I also like leaving the duvet off the sheet for a while so as when i get in the sheet is cold but I can snuggle up to get warm

You're all part of the scam aren't you? How much is she paying you?

I'm afraid pillow flipping is normal.

You're the deviant, Trooper, my old man.

Wow, Trooper. Were you brought up in a land without pillows? Everyone does this! Those who don't, well, they are broken in the head.

Also brushed cotton sheets are the shizzle in winter, I made the mistake of putting the summer 'cool cotton' ones on the other week when I couldn't be arsed looking for the winter ones. Oh my days, I will never make that mistake again!

Why would I purposely expose my head to a cold pillow, when I have been furiously heating one up all night. Warm pillow = warm head = happy Trooper.

Who doesn't do this? Someone who is broken in the head, that's who!

I turn my pillow over when the coldness of my dribble against my cheek wakes me.

Yeah, I've seen videos of this on Youpron. It's perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of, just don't forget to wash the pillow case afterwards.

Note that this doesn't work very well with memory foam pillows. Which is the only reason I don't have one.

I don't remember being aware of it until I read it in Douglas Adam' 'Deeper meaning of Liff'. Mind you, I think I was 12 at the time.

Kern flip-flops over flipping.

Sadly, .

I was under the impression that absolutely everyone did this. FREAK! YOU DON'T DESERVE A WIFE! Etc.

I've got one of these but I can't remember where it is.

Google search for the saying "as cool as the other side of the pillow" has 419,000 hits. This is because flipping is normal and Trooper is a deviant.

I flip. I'm not a woman, so I overheat in bed.

I have never flipped during the night. I guess that make me a deviant too.

He's calling you a woman, Trooper, don't stand for that!

Also, I flipped your mum and she liked it.

Your mum overheats in bed, particularly when pillow flipping.

What is wrong with you lot?

I was already convinced this place is populated with deviant sub-normals, and now I know it's true. You lot are batshit mentals.

Clearly, like the Lizard on the Rock, you are cold blooded.

i am dinosawesome

The taste of her cherry chapstick?

Is that a euphemism for her love button?

Also

What the fuck? Why would I want to suddenly make my cosy warm face all cold in the middle of the night? I have never in my life flipped my pillow over during the night. You people have the mentuls.

The norm is:

Lie
Sweat
Scrabble at the undersheets
Claw at one's face to fend off the premonitionary swam of insects of your mind's creation
Grumble
Await partner's sympathy
Wait a bit longer
Turn over pillow yourself and exhale joyously against the calming cool of the virgin fabric
Lie still for a bit
Toss and turn as cool dissipates
Huff and puff
Await partner's comment on huffing and puffing
Wait a bit longer
Turn over pillow
Exhale joyously against the calming cool of the only-slightly-damp-fabric
Wrinkle nose as relative fabric-fruitiness becomes apparent.
Stretch legs
Stretch arms
Make a starfish
Wait for partner to wake up
Wait a bit longer
Get cramp in your legs
Get cramp in your arms
Yowl a little
Yowl a little more
Express relief as partner wakes up
Expel indignance at partner finding your appropriation of the entire bed and adoption of the entirely* unnecessary pose you've adopted utterly unsuitable
Sulk while partner goes back to sleep
Stare at ceiling and curse the time you saw those glow-in-the-dark sticky-stars-you-had-as-a-child but didn't buy them.
Nudge partner
Confirm unconsciousness
Trump
Enjoy cocktail of pride and revulsion
Sigh
Turn over pillow
Exhale joyously against the calming cool of the damp fabric
Trump



*extraordinarily

Hmm.

The norm for me is:

- lie in bed, eyes closed.
- open eyes, convinced I'll never get to sleep.
- immediately fall asleep.
- get woken in morning by either: the missus, my alarm or a disturbing dream in which I'm catastrophically late for work (the later is worryingly frequent).

The missus tells me that between steps 3 and 4 I also snore very, very loudly.

FTFY

That was you?

Zardoz's dribble wakes you...


I flip too

Man, that is eerily accurate.

You are all creepily weird.

The norm for me is:

1. Go to bed.
2. Fall asleep.
3. Wake up when the alarm goes off.

Yes, not one of you has mentioned bollock scratching.

Not even your mum?

I bet that's what you tell her you're doing when she enters unexpectedly and asks you why the duvet is moving up and down like that.

I just say I think I saw a Gaywood and I was shoo-ing him away.

When I can't sleep I turn your Mum over. That is all.
\

I usually spend the night squeezing my girlfriend's arse and attempting to initiate sexy time before falling asleep. Sometimes I YouTube on my iPhone. She has a nice arse.

Is her arse on youtube? I like a good arse.

I'll see what I can do.

Don't tease, now.

I have two pillows which I switch throughout the night for coolness. flip, switch, switch, flip, etc.

I am always freezing in bed, though. Craig is hot to the touch, but I am like an icicle for some reason.

I flip and I'm a mental person.

Do I win a toffee?

I tend to arrange mine in an L-shape and sleep on the corner.

Flipping happens. Also waking up after night terrors and finding pillows scattered about the room happens. Woe.

But yeah, if you need a bit of cooling, flip that sucka.

And another thing.

When did they suddenly become night terrors? It's always been nightmares for as long as I can remember?

Night terrors tend to be screaming, thrashing about and panic attacks. Nightmares don't go that far

Yup. I've always called them nightmares - turns out they're a bit worse than that and not exactly normal.

Doesn't happen often these days though, so it's not really a problem. In fact I can't remember the last time it did, which probably means I'm a big drama queen

I wonder how many of our confessed non-flippers will secretly turn their pillows over tonight?