Bits and Bobs 23

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

Good God. I leave you alone for one morning and you turn into screaming queens.

Man up, Bezzies!

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6515

* scatches DavPaz's eyes out, the bitch *

Curiosity · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 13:46

I'm going to the Friday one at Wembley Stadium.

This will be the third time I've seen Take That in concert.

I have a Take That keyring.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 13:55

Southerners are 50% woman anyway.

Yes, even the women.

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 14:11

Zardoz wrote:

Southerners are 50% woman anyway.

Yes, even the women.

Don't matter. I'm Cornish and MrsA is dirty forrin.

sdg · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 15:26

Squirt wrote:

* scatches DavPaz's eyes out, the bitch *

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:04

Zardoz wrote:

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Has anyone got a confirmation email through yet for Take That tickets?

Quite possibly the gayest thing ever posted on Beex.

No. I think you'll find this is, and ever shall be.

Malabar Front wrote:

Another unusual dream last night saw me, for some reason, in a perfume/cologne shop. I had remembered a discussion the previous day with DBSnappa, with him claiming aside from photography he also created perfumes, and that he'd dedicate one to me. I didn't believe him until in the top right corner of the shop I spied an unusual, glittery box with a signature I couldn't quite make out from afar, but recognised enough to be of Snappa himself.

I asked the clerk to bring the box down, only to see my suspicions confirmed, with a big DBSnappa (for some reason he trades using his forum name) signature in glitter, as well as 'Malabar Front' inscribed in gold script on the front of the box. The box contained quite a few different colognes, as apparently Snappa, according to the clerk, was one of the ‘Pick 'n' Mix’ designers, bombarding the customer with enough options to guarantee they'd like at least one.

Fellow forum girly man MaliA was there, also, in a posh suit.

I think I'm gay.

Why is this the first time I've seen this?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:04

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:11

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Where's your photo of your fish, Doc?

http://m.flickr.com/#/photos/richardgaywood/5125245235/

There's a fish and chip restaurant near me that does portions of similar epic proportions. It was worth visiting as it was an old East End institution and the clientele was people viewing at its best. I was once in there and one of the 'gorblimey' waitresses had burned her arm on hot fat and I recommended lavender oil to treat it. The next time I was in she remembered me and gave me the biggest bit of battered haddock I've ever seen which was comfortably half the size of that again.

I haven't been to this place for several years as it changed hands and became "posh" rather than clean spit and sawdust.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:12

DBSnappa wrote:

The next time I was in she remembered me and gave me the biggest bit of battered haddock I've ever seen which was comfortably half the size of that again.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:13

Zardoz wrote:

DBSnappa wrote:

The next time I was in she remembered me and gave me the biggest bit of battered haddock I've ever seen which was comfortably half the size of that again.

I line them up...

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:13

Sure it wasn't a split kipper?

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:20

Zardoz wrote:

Sure it wasn't a split kipper?

I've only had kipper once and that was enough. It was all those hair like bones that put me off...

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Kippers, Sardines, Anchovies, Whitebait - the best fish all still have their bones in.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:23

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

That's not your arm.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:25

Craster wrote:

Kippers, Sardines, Anchovies, Whitebait - the best fish all still have their bones in.

You're just a big barnacle encrusted walrus with a ginger shock wig, aren't you.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:26

I know.

It's my bone that I keep in your Mums fish pie.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Also, you're not a real man until you've eaten one of these:

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:31

Craster wrote:

Also, you're not a real man until you've eaten one of these:

That's just a meatball with built in toothpicks, right?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:34

I draw the line at eating insects that suck shit off the bottom of the ocean.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

DBSnappa wrote:

That's just a meatball with built in toothpicks, right?

It's the head of a foot-long prawn. And you eat the crunchy bits.

Malabelm · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:49

Craster wrote:

DBSnappa wrote:

That's just a meatball with built in toothpicks, right?

It's the head of a foot-long prawn. And you eat the crunchy bits.

I'm blissfully happy thinking of those crunchy bits as beansprouts.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:50

Craster wrote:

DBSnappa wrote:

That's just a meatball with built in toothpicks, right?

It's the head of a foot-long prawn. And you eat the crunchy bits.

You know that Swiss couple in the news today with the natives taking the piss out of them...

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 16:51

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

Email just received.

Quote:

Hi there, I spoke to a young lady on the telephone earlier this afternoon......

a) He spoke to me.

b) It was 10am this morning.

sinister agent · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 7046

chinnyhill10 wrote:

Email just received.

Quote:

Hi there, I spoke to a young lady on the telephone earlier this afternoon......

a) He spoke to me.

b) It was 10am this morning.

"I spoke to you last week! I spoke to him last week! He said I could do this! I spoke to him last week!"

"No you didn't, because he didn't work here last week, and the rest of the staff are women. Now get out."

Years later, and I still remember this infuriatingly shouty, logic-immune man.

metalangel · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 20:21

chinnyhill10 wrote:

Email just received.

Quote:

Hi there, I spoke to a young lady on the telephone earlier this afternoon......

a) He spoke to me.

b) It was 10am this morning.

Just shut up and transfer him some money so you get a share of his Nigerian gold.

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

sinister agent wrote:

Years later, and I still remember this infuriatingly shouty, logic-immune man.

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

chinnyhill10 wrote:

sinister agent wrote:

Years later, and I still remember this infuriatingly shouty, logic-immune man.

My first thought was, Myp?

MaliA · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:46

I can happily report very fit barmaids in the Jericho Tavern and The Victoria Inn.

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

DavPaz wrote:

Man up, Bezzies!

Relax. throughsilver is here.

Went to see Swans last night, and met up with board's own press-up deity, pupil.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

P.S. Take That are better as a quartet.

MaliA · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2010 16:47

Picked a pound and a half of sloes for sloe gin.

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2010 18:36

Well this was odd... So I was on MSN a minute ago talking to a friend of mine about gaming. We both mentioned the ps3 but look what happens to the text when you type it.

I wonder if it's Microsoft having a laugh or whether there is a less sinister (yet less funny) reason.

devilman · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2010 18:42

Does it turn it into a sponsored link?

Anonymous X · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 2046

throughsilver wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Man up, Bezzies!

Went to see Swans last night, and met up with board's own press-up deity, pupil.

In Manchester? Had the offer to go and see 'em, but couldn't for transport reasons unfortunately.

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2010 19:04

No it just greys it out it would seem

Nemmie · **Joined:** 13th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 1643

This is fantastic.

http://blog.craftzine.com/Star_Wars_Day ... ia_wig.jpg

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Sun Oct 31, 2010 11:38

Looks like some form of crab to me.

Wrong page.. I was referring to that thing Craster posted..

Nemmie wrote:

This is fantastic.

http://blog.craftzine.com/Star_Wars_Day ... ia_wig.jpg

Come on Mimi, you can do it

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

FUCKING AMAZON.

I have no money in my bank account. Well, £4 or something. It's pay-day tomorrow, you see? I pre-ordered Beauty and the Beast on BluRay for my girlfriend which comes out tomorrow. Is it unreasonable to expect Amazon to charge me on the day it's supposed to be released rather than FUCKING TODAY? I'm going to get a nice £39 bank charge now for the sake of pre-ordering a fucking Disney film. Fuck's sake.

metalangel · **Posted:** Sun Oct 31, 2010 16:02

At least you noticed it. Amazon tried to charge an out of date card the details of which were still on my account, and so didn't dispatch my mother's birthday present.

Except, at no point during the order process does it make a check, it just assume it's all right and so you do too. So we're both idiots, Amazon and I.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Wogan'sTrouserBulge wrote:

I have no money in my bank account. Well, £4 or something. It's pay-day tomorrow, you see? I pre-ordered Beauty and the Beast on BluRay for my girlfriend which comes out tomorrow. Is it unreasonable to expect Amazon to charge me on the day it's supposed to be released rather than FUCKING TODAY? I'm going to get a nice £39 bank charge now for the sake of pre-ordering a fucking Disney film. Fuck's sake.

Weren't you complaining about Amazon failing to post something out in advance so it would arrive on release day? I thought the point of pre-ordering was that they ship before release so it gets to you on release day, and obviously they bill you when they ship it.

Not sure how they've managed to charge your card on a Sunday, mind.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

Yep! But it's a Sunday, the last day of the month, and the DVD is not "legally" available to purchase until tomorrow. I wouldn't have bothered pre-ordering it had I known they'd charge me today, I would've just ordered it tomorrow. Video games are usually released on a Friday, so if they're charging me on a Thursday, fair play, but charging on a Sunday when I don't have the option to nip into town and put some cash in the bank to cover the charge is more than a little bit shit. I can only hope that my pay goes in at midnight before the transaction is complete and I avoid the charge. Or something.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

How do you know they've charged you? I don't think a debit card transaction can actually hit your account on a Sunday.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

They'd be mental if they waited until someone had picked, packed & stuck it in a cage before they debited your account. If you didn't have funds available to pay it then you'd be wasting everyone's time.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

Craster wrote:

How do you know they've charged you? I don't think a debit card transaction can actually hit your account on a Sunday.

Online banking - I have "Balance" and "available balance". My Balance shows <INSERT SMALL NUMBER OF POUNDS> and my available balance shows 0 (because it obviously took the <SMALL NUMBER OF POUNDS> out and then went even further. This is normal when your debit card has been charged - in my bank at least.

I hope you're right about the Sunday thing, but as far as I can tell, it's no different to any other day when it comes to taking money OUT.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

Wullie wrote:

They'd be mental if they waited until someone had picked, packed & stuck it in a cage before they debited your account. If you didn't have funds available to pay it then you'd be wasting everyone's time.

The thing is - I thought the whole idea of a debit card was that it'd be rejected if you didn't have enough funds available. This happens, embarrassingly, in the supermarket. Why are Amazon different? Why can Amazon send me into unauthorised overdraft but Tesco can't?

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

In that case I've a funny feeling that you'll see that money miraculously re-appear in your account in a few hours. There's an annoying thing that happens from time to time where charging your card fails (not always for any particular reason), but the automated stuff at the bank still earmarks the money until it confirms that it's not going anywhere.

If you were overdrawn it would be giving you a minus number, not 0.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

I never, ever, get a minus number in my account. I don't have any overdraft facility whatsoever. It always goes to 0 and no further.

sinister agent · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 7046

Wogan'sTrouserBulge wrote:

I never, ever, get a minus number in my account. I don't have any overdraft facility whatsoever. It always goes to 0 and no further.

Maybe your bank gave you an overdraft without bothering to tell you yet? Not likely I know, but mine insisted on putting an overdraft on my account twice, until I told them to stop.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 23
The enigmatic number

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Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 23 The enigmatic number

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Bits and Bobs 23
The enigmatic number