Be Excellent To Each Other

Hello there! I am an Englishman. I also absolutely loathe the taste of lime, and have to fight back intense nausea if I get a strong taste of it.

How are YOU flunking stereotypes and breaking out of the mould / you ain't never gonna change me / so don't try and cage me ?

No hat, no monocle, no moustache. I'm an embarassment.

I once went to a Chinese restaurant with a bona fide Chinese dude and he spent the whole meal eating with a knife and fork. I was most unimpressed.

As for myself, I pretty much am a stereotypical English guy, right down to shouting loudly and Johnny Foreigners when they can't understand the Queen's English and wearing a hanky on my head when sunbathing.

I am an Englishman who does not drink tea!

Though CUS is wrong about limes. Limes are the number one bestest fruit/taste/smell.

They are clearly the worst Chewit.

What's English about a liking for limes?

I am blonde yet I'm pretty sure I don't have more fun.

I have small feet, but an incredibly large cock.

And I have huge feet, yet have a tiny cock.

We are known as limeys, are we not?

Is having big feet an English thing?

I've got big feet. And you know what they say about people with big feet, eh? EH?

That's right! They can't find shoes that fit!

Oh, they can be any stereotypes really. Feet and cocks are all good.

No wait I-

I thought that was to do with limestone, not the fruit.

Nah, it's to do with fighting off scurvy.

What CUS said. On sea voyages we warded off scurvy by having barrels full of limes to suck on.

Mmmm, limes.

I love sucking limes.

I thought it was lemons we had to hold off scurvy but johnny foreigner couldnt tell the difference between yellow and green. Also lemonys doesnt have the same ring to it either.

My teeth are perfect.

jonarob, earlier today.

I'd just like to give google immense credit. When doing a standard search for 'english teeth', it gives me a few thumbnails from image search, of which the third picture is a topless girl with slightly wonky teeth. The credit here is given because I can't find the topless girl anywhere in the first 5 or 6 pages of regular 'image' results, making me marvel that they'd find the porn just for me, it seems.

In a mojito!

I'm a young straight english male, but don't like football much, don't go out to get drunk (rarely drink, in fact), think cars are ugly and tedious and one of the major reasons future generations will laugh at us, hate almost everything that's aimed at young men and don't consider fucking anything remotely female the pinnacle of existence.

I do, however, play video games. Damn.

I got soul but...no wait.

I'm white (and fat), but I'm very good at basketball.

Yeah, but then so are people in wheelchairs.

Their slam dunks are pretty crap though.

I dunno man, they slam back down into the ground pretty impressively for me. It's managing to chuck 'em into the air in the first place that's tricky. Grabbing the back of their belt is the trick.

if it was you probably wouldn't think you had big feet, as everybody else there had? and what's big anyway?

I am unsure of what sterotype I should be battling against.

I'm a lawyer, yet I'm not Denny Crane.

This, ultimately, saddens me.

DENNY CRANE!

You've got what, 35 years to work on it? You can get there.

When was it that you got the impression that me and the concept of patience were within nodding distance of each other? Was I really drunk and couldn't remember anything?

You mean was it a weekday?

I used to work in one of (supposedly) the UK's larger law firms. For six months or more. Lawyers, in my experience, by and large, are the hardest-living, longest-working, least-patient alcoholics you can ever hope to find. Oh, and 90% of them see the Spearmint Rhino as their spiritual home.

No playing on school nights, man. Unless it's a special occasion.



The top-50 global law firm I worked at at the start of my career was sort of like that, yes. However, most lawyers aren't. Well, the hard working bit seems to be a bit of a feature wherever you are, but a number of us manage to avoid that. What with not hanging our entire self-worth on whether we're the last out of the office.

I'm fat, balding with long hair, and always wear t-shirts of metal bands. Yet i'm not a roadie for Saxon.

That song always reminds me of

I've got soul, but I'm not in SOLDIER?

I'm Canadian, but cannot ice skate or speak French very well.

I'm a man, yet I hate most sports, especially football.

Hang on - going in personal experience, 75% of men don't actually give a shit about sports. Why is it then that the popular stereotype has us liking football, rather than cursing at the news every time sports comes on and complaining that if sports gets 5 minutes out of 30, why doesn't the latest goings on in literature or theatre?

Coz sports are awesome!

North American FTFY.

"Did you see the sports at the weekend, Stewart? Did you see the wonderful sports?"

Love that Stewart Lee bit on the subject.

And supposing one is the sort of person who supports a "local" team, rather than Man United even though you're a Cockney, you're paying money to watch a bunch of Frenchmen kick a ball at a bunch of Brazilians. So, you may as well pick a team at random for all the connection they'll have to you or where you live (which may explain the Man United Cockneys). And you see people *crying* at this nonsense when "Their" team wins.

The only sports worth watching are :

(1) Ultimate X Games or whatever it's called (the one with 100 metre sprint in a very small circle, underwater shotput and the excellent "who can fall on their face the quickest" events)

(2) Touring Car racing or other bumpy bumpy crashy racing

(3) Dwarf tossing

Both and a whole lot of other fruit rich in vitamin C too, as it's anti-scorbutic. But lemons and limes are considered amongst the best. There used to be concerns on the ships as to them going off, but replenishments in ships eventually were effectively organised. Other nations used limes as well, but since we had the big navy and France had to rely on its army in lieu, we were called the limeys.

And Jesus-Christey-Christ, what is it with this forum and the posting of distressing images? Comical Gnomes, no more Gavin Estler mouth-image posting please. PLEASE. Such icky images freak me out.

Re: the lemons and limes thing. Was it not the case that we were at war with most of the lemon producing countries at the time, so limes were easier to come by? OR HAS STEPHEN FRY LIED TO ME?!

You're a lemon.

No YOU'RE a lemon.

I agree with Myoptika.

I notice your Hobbs is turning more yellow there, Chris. A sign I think of... YOUR LEMON SYMPATHIES.