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 Post subject: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 23:49 
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Skillmeister

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From B&B 20:

First 15 minutes of Alan Wake.
Quote:
"Remember me? Rumplestiltskin Old Man Person? I'm about to be killed by a contrivance!"

Quote:
"You're a terrible author!"

Indeed.
Quote:
"My wife, Um Bongo, had a phobia. The fear of being ripped apart by contrivances. Unbeknown to her I'd booked a holiday in a contrivance factory."

Quote:
"It's lovely here. Somewhere I could rest and forget about work. Somewhere we could be happy. I was about to be bitterly disappointed"


Quote:
kalmar wrote:
Kafkaesque nightmare innit.

Nah, it's almost directly lifted from The Shining, even going so far to actually say it several times, and Twin Peaks. By "episode" 6 I fully expect Alan Wake to be rampaging through Maine on the back of a Sandworm.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 23:51 
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And tonight...

Quote:
I've always liked Stephen King, as I've mentioned outright before and why this game's plot is lifted wholesale in parts from him, but these inanimate objects what were flying at me weren't like the inanimate objects Stephen King, the writer who I love, wrut about. These were. Dead. Fuckin. Scarey.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 23:53 
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Constant lifting of Twin Peaks by mentioning how good the coffee is. Constant lifting from Twin Peaks in characters (the Lamp Lady! LAMP FUCKING LADY!). Constant lifting from Twin Peaks about evil doppelgangers in wood. At night. With an owl.

These aren't "homages" or references, they're direct lifts. And written so bloody poorly. So bad.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 23:59 
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Yeah, I've heard enough that this is a budget price game for me.

It's strange, because I really liked those "prequel trailers" or whatever they were called. They didn't seem to blatantly copy stuff like that.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 0:52 
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Oh, and after every chapter it finds an arbitrary reason to relieve you of all weaponry.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:51 
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And there's a rope suspension bridge bit lifted from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. This game is shameless.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:02 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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I bought it at £19.99 and haven't played it yet. If anything your comments have made me want to play it even more; anything lifted from Twin Peaks is going to suit me just fine.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:04 
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I insist Kalmar transfer over the discussion we wert having in Bits and Bobs 20 into this here thread. I insist.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:17 
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I bet you read for fun.

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I didn't buy Alan Wake and added it to my Gamefly queue instead. (Do you guys have a UK version of Gamefly?) It arrived at my house a few days ago and while it's not entirely devoid of entertainment value, I'm really glad I didn't buy it. It's like playing a video game amalgamation of Secret Window, Twin Peaks, and Insomnia. Every other line or action makes me groan under the weight of all the clichés.

The controls feel a bit clunky, too. I think they were trying for intuitive but missed the mark and landed right in befuddling. His running stamina is never explained (I spent a few minutes going, "Is he wheezing? What is going on? Why is his flashlight bobbing all over the place while he runs off the road?") and the dodge maneuver (the same control used to sprint/run) is horrendous. I keep trying to get Alan to dodge incoming axe swings but instead he will sometimes do things like scamper a foot away or lower his head and run right towards the axe-murderer. Good job, Alan.

Having said all that, it's still fun so far, and I'm glad I rented it. Plus, I'm a big 'fraidy cat, so some parts have gotten me good and skeered.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:35 
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Is Gamefly a postal rental service? If so, yeah there are a few around. Lovefilm being the first that pops into my lobes.

Agree wholeheartedly about the cliches. I'd actually managed to forget about Secret Window but by the jumping Jeebers it's a good parallelelellellelllll. I can't say I've found anything that's made me scared yet as it's just been so damn predictable so far. His lackadaisical sauntering out of the car while there's rampaging axe twats around has had me bellowing at the screen in frustration at times. Plus Alan's constant mouth breathing in the cut scenes. He's always got his flappy gob wide open.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:39 
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I bet you read for fun.

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Dimrill wrote:
Is Gamefly a postal rental service? If so, yeah there are a few around. Lovefilm being the first that pops into my lobes.


Yup. Forgot to mention that bit. I just wasn't sure what you guys have over there and didn't want to assume it's the same as what's in the US (granted, some of the services I use in the US aren't even available to everyone here, what with Alaska and Hawii being so disconnected) or that everyone would know what I was talking about. I suppose elaborating would have really been key there, though.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 3:49 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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Please stop with the spoilers people! Now I will not be amazed and astounded by Alan's flappy gob and lacksadaisical sauntering!

Although I already have one criticism of the game without even putting it in the drive, namely that there is a picture on the back of the box which seems to depict Alan deep in conversation with Norris from Coronation Street :(

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:19 
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EvilTrousers

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I started it a couple of days ago and while it's quite atmospheric it fails to actually scare me most of the time due to the massive telegraphing of the appearance of evilbaddarkpeoples.

Oooh look ammo, oh look it's gone a bit foggy, oh look everything has slowed down and it has showed me where the fucking shadowblobbies are. You feel no fear of exploring some areas because you categorically know there's nothing bad going to happen. I'm hoping it changes later on but so far so obvious.

My hoarding mentality is meaning I'm hardly boosting the flashlight to conserve batteries even though everything gets fucking reset when you switch levels. I can't actually help myself.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:25 
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ShoesOnWrong! Hello!


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:59 
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Comfortably Dumb

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Hmm.. I got this the other day (someone wanted to swap for Jericho.. fine with me) but I've not bothered playing it yet. Dimrill's not exactly making me want to either.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:17 
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I started this the other night as well , only 2 chapters in , and its 'okay' - nothing special.

If you do want to pick it up its only £17.99 at play right now

http://www.play.com/Games/Xbox360/4-/66 ... oduct.html


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:26 
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On hearing your wife scream your name in terror, would you:

a) Run immediately to the house
b) Quickly, without hesitation sprint to the cabin
c) Delaying no longer, return, with pace, to the cottage.
d) Look up from the railing you were leaning on and say "Alice?", turn slowly to the cabin you were staying in to hear more screaming, look at it thickly with your flappy gob open and say "Alice?!", hear more screams imploring you for help, say "Alice!" one more time before jogging towards the house?

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 13:23 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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I'd start singing "Alice What's The Matter?" in a Terrorvision sty-lee and playing the rockingest air guitar ever until the crisis had passed.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 13:39 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

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I enjoyed it. The story was shocking, but the gameplay was fairly solid, and I liked that it wasn't perpetually dark. I played it right to the end, which is rare for me.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 13:42 
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Skillmeister

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Oh look, a scenic hotel with a nice view. An OVERLOOKing view, if you will. And it's got a hedge maze.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 14:03 
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Can't re-member

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Come on, this is from the team that brought you Max Payne. You weren't expecting hackneyed plot devices and cheesy dialogue?


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 14:04 
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Level 2 Wood Gimp

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:DD

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 14:59 
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Skillmeister

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Just finished episode 4 and can now deduce the final moments of the game.

"Alice cried as Alan lay crushed under the book case. The giant darkness laughed 'Ha ha ha!' Then, for no reason, he left Bright Falls, never to return. The end."
There. Now he's trapped in a book I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.
Chief Giant Darkness: The big darkness am winning! I am the greetest! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! I must now leave Bright Falls for no raisin!

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 15:33 
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Skillmeister

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Oh, and the bit with the stage at the farm is probably one of the most out of place and cringe worthy bags of fucking shit I've ever seen or played in a game. And I've played Two Worlds.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:00 
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I bet you read for fun.

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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
ShoesOnWrong! Hello!


Hi! I told you I'd make an appearance eventually.

Another thing that bugs me about Alan Wake (and a few other games, none of which come to mind right now because I just woke up) is the collectible bits. This isn't a sandbox game or an RPG, where you wander around and do stuff at your own pace (even then, when you're not leveling up or really improving your character, it sort of feels like, "Really, John Marston? You want to get back to your family real bad and it's all you ever talk about? Well by all means, pick some more goddamn red sage."), it's pretty tightly constructed, linear game. Alan won't stop yappity yapping about Alice (and every time her says her name in a panic, all I hear is MIchael from Lost screaming, "WAAAAAAAAALT!"), but he keeps dawdling. To pick up thermoses. Thermoses.

Additionally, when he says stuff like, "The body had vanished, leaving nothing but a lifetime of nightmares behind." My teeth spontaneously fall out because it's that bad and even they want to get away from it.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:12 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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This new person sounds suspiciously like a Dimrill sock puppet account :D And Gaywood is in on it too! Unless Gaywood is just a Dimrill sock puppet too... 8)

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:17 
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TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
Unless Gaywood is just a Dimrill sock puppet too... 8)


He's about the right size for it.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:38 
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I've never once created a sock puppet online. Since the early-mid nineties I've been Dimrill and Dimrill I shall always be.

But yeah. Thermoses of coffee. Coffee and cherry pie. DUCKS! On the Lake! And it's Alice because Det. Cooper's Annie was taken into the Black Lodge at the end of season 2.
"Where's Alice?"
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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:45 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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Dimrill wrote:
I've never once created a sock puppet online.

Ah, but that doesn't mean you haven't done it TWICE, does it now? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:45 
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Skillmeister

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Times created sock puppet account anywhere <= 0.

Edit: added "anywhere" for Flid.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:51 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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Dimrill wrote:
Times created sock puppet account anywhere <= 0.

Edit: added "anywhere" for Flid.

Yeah, cos that one word is totally going to stop me being a dick about it if I choose to :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:51 
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Skillmeister

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*shines torch* GET BACK!

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:54 
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I bet you read for fun.

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I'm not real? This changes everything. Namely, I don't think I should have to repay my student loans.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 16:56 
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Skillmeister

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Post a picture of you standing next to Robocop and we'll believe you :P

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 21:11 
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Skillmeister

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*huffy voiced retard*
"The light stabbed at my eyes. I needed painkillers and my sunglasses. *swallows painkiller* IMMEDIATELY: The pills worked fast."

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 21:23 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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You sure are playing it a lot considering all your moaning...

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 21:23 
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Skillmeister

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It's a g-thang.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 21:29 
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Pyrotechnician!!!1

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Dimrill wrote:
It's a g-thang.

So it's maxable then?

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 21:41 
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Skillmeister

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:shrug:

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 23:01 
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EvilTrousers

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
You sure are playing it a lot considering all your moaning...


It does my tits in with its up its own arse-itus but I guarantee I will finish it because the fundamental luigi's mansion/shooty action is enough for me.

Dimrill managed to finish Prototype so his tolerance for crusty smeg in videogame form is far in advance of mine.

Also I like peas.

Not really.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 23:02 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

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Trousers wrote:
Dimrill managed to finish Prototype so his tolerance for crusty smeg in videogame form is far in advance of mine.


Jesus. Fuck. Really?


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 14:01 
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Skillmeister

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Finished it last night. The gaping plot holes resemble Alan's flappy mouth breathing gob. Sam Lake ought to be sued for plagiarism.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 14:02 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

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Dimrill wrote:
Finished it last night.


Did you actually enjoy it, though?


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 14:03 
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Skillmeister

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The story? No. It was the biggest gush of arse gravy since tubgirl. The game-world? Not really. It's just linear paths through telegraphed contrivances.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 14:08 
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So why did you finish it?


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 14:09 
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Skillmeister

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Because I'm just so damn delicious.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 14:11 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

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Dimrill wrote:
The game-world? Not really. It's just linear paths through telegraphed contrivances.


It was indeed, but I'm fed up of every game striving to be open-world. Sometimes I just want to be led through an experience the developers had complete control over. Alan Wake filled this perfectly for me.


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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 21:10 
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Skillmeister

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Apparently the new DLC has heavy handed product placement corporate shilling cuntswab writing that makes Blade III's iPod bit look good. Might as well read PC Gamer BING!

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 2:42 
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Skillmeister

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Nightmare mode done. One more. One more now.

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 Post subject: Re: Alan Wake
PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 18:51 
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Skillmeister

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*dusts hands*
*sees dusty Signal download*
Sigh.

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You are using the 'Ted' forum. Bill doesn't really exist any more. Bogus!
Want to help out with the hosting / advertising costs? That's very nice of you.
Are you on a mobile phone? Try http://beex.co.uk/m/
RIP, Owen.

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