Be Excellent To Each Other

You just need to move forward and realise you're racing for Mercedes now. Let Ferrari go.

I wish I could remember more of mine.

I know at one point last night I was on holiday with the Mrs in a bar looking at all the pumps to see what they had for sale, but all they had were draught wines that looked like Lambrini, I then spotted a Guinness pump but they had non left so they offered me this sparkling stout that was in a big fat wine bottle.

After last Tuesday when we met Myp in That London, I had a very odd dream that we all went somewhere and played this really complex board game called something like "Soldier and Sheep - Clean up after Dirty Pig!" where each player took control of a US Civil War solider and a sheep, and had to move them around a constantly changing board, trying to dodge various hazards ( including alligators ) whilst carrying out a mixture of military and pig related tasks. Scout out that hill! Bring Dirty Pig some turnips! Carry messages to commander! Scrub Dirty Pig! We played for ages, but I woke up before we worked out who had won.

That sounds ace. Make it!

I have a horrible (in that it freaks me out and feels really creepy as I am dreaming it) recurring dream where someone gives birth to a baby that is about an inch long. They bring it over, or I am visiting and they say how perfect the baby is, not realising that it is not the normal size for a baby, but I can't say this. Then they want me to hold it and I get freaked out and can't because it will be too light, and I may drop it.

Sometimes it is me that has the tiny baby and nobody else can see how small it is and nobody seems to realise but me and I get terribly upset.

Poor Gaywood.

Last night I was trying to install a kitchen in Bart Simpson's tree house. The kitchen was too small, but with a massive worksurface that took up 2/3rds of the space. He didn't want it and asked for a dance floor with multicoloured lights instead. I pointed out that the massive hole in the floor he used to get in the tree house would be dangerous in a disco dancing competition and suggested he got me to make a trapdoor to cover it. Then he transmogrified into a different kind of dog when I saved his life by lowering him on to the roof of the house, and refused to talk to me. I tried to explain to Grampa Simpson that he was a different kind of dog and not actually Bart Simpson then I got in to a rage and destroyed the front of the house by running through it and then it was mrrmmbrmrmrbbbrbrebbrbrmrmrmm.

Don't watch Eraserhead.

I had a fairly scary dream last night involving vampires, Terminators, newsagents, terrible food hygiene and controversial Penny Arcade comics. Fascinating at the time, but probably not very interesting to relate.

What was odd was that normally in dreams when I ask myself if I'm dreaming then I realise that, yes, I am. Last night, though, I thought I was dreaming - my main argument was that vampires don't actually exist, so it must be a dream - but it felt so natural and real and undreamlike that it actually had to be real life. I kept trying to find something that would make me know I was dreaming, but everything was so solid that it just didn't feel anything like a normal dream.

Very strange.

I had a dream about Nirejhenge. I travelled down to see him recording his radio show, only to find he was holding two burglars hostage and torturing them with sticks.

Odd.

No? I have heard the title but have no idea what the film is about. I shall make a mental note to avoid it (alongside all films with talking/dancing babies or animals).

This half man half biscuit music video tribute gives a flavour of the nightmarish qualities without the terror of watching the actual film. If you like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6gI7CHY ... ata_player

Weird one last night.

I was on a training course in that London and Grim... posted on the forum that he was in the building next door. Throughout the 'day' I kept looking out of the window and seeing new additions to Grim...'s building, in a Minecraft style. So, I dreamt about Grim, but he wasn't actually in my dream.

I had a dream yesterday that I'd somehow bought a shiny new Civic Type-R. I'd had a go starting the engine and all that and was really excited about taking it for a spin as I hadn't driven it yet, but I'd only just got up and really needed a shower. So I decided I'd have the shower first and then go out in it. But before stepping in to the shower, I woke up.

The gradual realisation as I came round that I didn't really own a shiny new Type-R was awful. I felt genuinely bitterly disappointed!

Not had a dream along those lines since I was about 8 years old!

I had a dream last night that I was doing some decorating, putting up wallpaper. But it was an old house and therefore due to planning and stuff you had to do it the way it was done in the olden days, when instead of wallpaper paste they would use a mixture of cement and human excrement. I don't recall actually hanging any paper, all I can remember is mixing up the 'paste' with a trowel and retching over and over. I woke up feeling physically sick

Did you, by any chance, wake up with your bedroom walls covered in shite?

Yes. It was better than when I dreamt I ate a Mars bar, though.

I had a dream about decorating, too. My mum's going on holiday tomorrow for two weeks for her birthday, so Miss Malabar and I are decorating her hall, stairs, landing and bathroom as a present for when she gets back.

Not only did my dream involve spilling the beans to my mum by starting to paint the hall before she'd left, but the only paint I'd bothered to buy was several tins of the awful mint green she has in the bathroom already.

Waking up to realise I was dreaming was a bloody good relief.

The fridge broke a couple of days ago. So instead of having Red Leiscester I had cheddar.

My dream started out with me back in my hometown. My cat (Dolly, the white one) got out and was missing for three months. I was beside myself with worry.

Then one day I was walking along the street and saw her in some one's living room. I kicked the door in and they came running in shouting at me.

THAT'S MY FUCKING CAT ! I yelled. We then got into this big argument and they were refusing to give her back so I went home and got her pedigree and photos of her and got the police to take her back. Took her home and my friend and cousin were there.

We found a hatch in the back room of my house that I hadn't noticed before. We opened it and there was a ladder about 200 metres long that went down into the ground. When we got to the bottom there were rusty diamondplate walkways similar to Doom 3 (only they're not rusty in Doom 3). It looked a lot like the sewer level in L4D2, aswell.

We found this big machine with a wall panel. I asked my cousin what the fuck it could be and he said it was a time machine. We decided to go further and it turned out we had discovered the entry to hell. As we turned to walk away a demon came out and fucked us all up. Somehow I managed to escape with half of my life left (obs videogame based) but my cousin and friend vanished. My cousin turned up dead in a flat about 90 miles away and was under the living room carpet. Not rolled in it, but under it. The carpet was still nailed down and hadn't been lifted. We were then trying to work out why the fuck he was there or how he got there.

My other friend never returned.

Note to self: read thread title before reading latest posts in thread.

Looking forward to your nightmare post tomorrow then

You've been watching Lost!

I tried that SleepTalk app on my iPhone the other night for shits and giggles. It picked up hour after hour of me snoring my head off, intertwined with my gf occasionally coughing her lungs up.

I had no idea I snored as badly as that.

I can sometimes hear myself snoring, if I'm just snoozing.

In related news, after a bit of experimentation, I am able to have somewhat lucid dreams when I'm in the not-quite-asleep state. I am able to conjure up some excellent imagery that sometimes follows me into deep sleep.

It's all a bit trippy really.

I don't think I've ever had a lucid dream.
Closest I came was a few weeks ago when I dreamt that I knew it was a dream so could start controlling it, yet nothing I tried to make happen occurred. Hello Dr Freud!

Just remembered my dream from over the weekend, well part of it...

Me and the Mrs had started smoking again and decided it would be great to let Baba Z have a couple of cigs a day at specific times to keep her calm . Anyway I was carrying Baba Z through Blackpool with Markg and another mate of mine and Mark sparked a couple of fags up and passed one to Baba Z. I was horrified, I turned to him and said, "Look Mark I don't mind you crashing your fags, but she's just had one, I wish you'd ask me first".

Years and years ago, when I was at Uni, I'd use a radio alarm clock (to give you an idea of how many years ago this was, I'd normally wake up to Chris Evans on Radio 1). One day they played 'Enjoy The Silence' by Depeche Mode, and in my half awake state I had this excellent lucid dream that I was totally suspended in calming, blue-coloured water. I could breathe underwater and everything, and I was just suspended there, totally relaxed, with Depeche Mode providing the soundtrack.

Most bizarre, but it was a nice way of starting the morning.

Never ever seen it mate

I'm pretty sure now it was the level of Left 4 Dead 2 where you go down into the sewers on a long assed ladder, crossed with Doom 3 lol.

Last night I dreamed that Dame Maggie Smith had tied Craig and I back to back on a child's playground roundabout and was spinning it at hight speed. When she eventually stopped it and cut us free I woke up and I felt really nauseous!

Really? Whenever I wake up from a breathing underwater/able to fly dream I'm always really disappointed when I remember I can't actually do it.

That sleep talk recorder app is ace. The other week it got me saying "Dirk on a bee... I want you to get.... pushhhh."

And then a couple of instances on other nights of just humming.

I've been having bad dreams lately, and worse they've been leaving me feeling the same when I wake up. It's hard to dream that your girlfriend's left you then wake up next to her and be convinced for half an hour that it's over. For example.

I suppose it's a good thing that when it happens I generally remember enough of the dream itself to understand why I'm feeling shitty.

When I'm feeling shitty I stop feeling shitty and be awesome instead.

True story.

I've tried this, but I came to realise that I'm always awesome anyway. Hm.

I'm working on it.

Oh, it wears off, not to worry. Having the context is useful for speeding that up.

I dreamed last night that I was walking out of the door of where I used to live, next to the North Circular road, in the snow and ice of dark early evening, as I had to go to a supermarket or something. Anyway, there is a slip road that leads directly of of the North Circular to bring people on to the housing estate. A huge, articulated lorry had either gone down this slip road and clipped something or spun off the NC and over the slip road, but it flipped right up in the air, about 20 meters up and came crashing down I was under its shadow and ran just to the side of it where it came slamming down about 5 feet from me, blocking my way back to the house. I terrified and thought to run around the block to get back t safety, but the NC was suddenly like a sheet of ice and the traffic was going everywhere - I could see another articulated lorry sliding towards me on its side and ran for it, around the back of the block hoping I could make it around but then woke suddenly up.

I have not been sleeping at all well, and I woke up with such a start and racing heart that I couldn't settle at all after that. My eyes are all sore and tired and the lorry in the air crashing down keeps flashing before my eyes.

This is all Perkies' fault!
Sorry you're sleepless Mimi, I know how that feels right now.

I had a dream of awesome last night. I dreamt that the UNSC Spartans and the Colonial Marines (Aliens) were in something of a competition to see who could kill the most Covenant. I was in a big city on a rooftop, thinking how much better the M41-A Pulse Rifle was at killing Unggoy and Jiralhanae than the UNSC Assault Rifle.

As a Marine, we'd managed to secure some vital information that would give us a real lead on the Spartans, and were now trying to escape from this big city (not unlike New Alexandria from Halo: Reach)

Alas, we ended up trapped in a big apartment building and, separated from my squad, I fled down a long stairwell until, with no options, I broke down the door into the apartment at the bottom. Inside resided a woman, a slightly-too-tall, gawky kindergarten-teacher type. She agreed to help me and I hid in her closet.

Dreams being dreams, they knew right where I was and sure enough, her door gets booted open again and a colossal, menacing Jorge-style Spartan stomps into the room, grabs me by the neck, yanks me out of the closet and plants me on a chair, ready to do all sorts of horrible things to me to find out what I know.

I was genuinely, really terrified and told him everything. Satisfied, he stomped out and left me.

With that all done, I crawled into bed with the bewildered woman and that's where it gets all and ends.

Worst marine ever.

You play too many computer games.

I know, eh? Worse than freakin' Hudson.

Last night I was involved with holding down a thief's arm while his hand was cut off. The idiot with the axe hit my hand as well as the thief's, but the injury was only superficial.

The other night I dreamt that I'd found a stray cat but it had "Gilly" on its collar.

And that's all I can remember.

Must... resist... pussy joke.

Dreamt Ange and Myp needed taking to their various new houses they kept buying. Ange just wanted to go to bed but Myp was drunk and making a nuisance of himself.

This went on for HOURS.

I've been playing a lot of Split/Second recently and it led to two consecutive nights last week of dreams of whizzing round a race track full of explosions. The interesting thing is that every time I blew something up it flashed "You wrecked Craster" up on my 'screen'.

Last night I dreamt that I was working as a supervisor in a large grocery store. One of the employees was Trousers, except he was "played" by Michael Keaton. Anyway, this Trousers/Keaton hybrid had developed a crippling addiction to maple syrup, which I was trying to turn a blind eye to, until I found him in the Baking Needs aisle trying to actually crawl onto a shelf to reach the last bottle of syrup at the back. He was knocking various bottles of food colouring and flavouring onto the floor while customers stood by and watched, horrified. At this point I remember making a rather oblique post on Beex, basically informing Trousers/Keaton that he was suspended from work until he cleaned up his act.
Thankfully I woke up before the dream went any further. I think the prospect of Michael "Trousers" Keaton, strung out on maple syrup withdrawal would have been too much to bear.

I love it when you dream about people from here. I've not been able to remember any of mine for ages sadly.

This is probably my favorite thread of the whole forum.