Be Excellent To Each Other

I had a brilliant dream I was with all my friends and we had hit upon a scheme whereby we were going to charge billionaires millions for trips into space. But lacking rockets or anything we were actually just going to convince them they had been into space. So we had hired out a function room in the Imperial Hotel in Blackpool and we'd made this black tunnel out of cardboard and stuff which we were going to push them through on office chairs. And then we were stood outside arguing because nobody could remember the number of the room we had hired out and I had left my shoes in there too.

They did that on Space Cadets with Johnny Vaughn. Not billionaires though. Morons.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Cadets_(TV_series)

That was superbly cruel.

I dreamt I was in a takeaway getting a burger and the chap in front of me ordered a large donner kebab with "long strips". Turns out that this meant instead of cutting the bits of donner vertically, they'd cut it in a single spiral so this man had a donner kebab made out of a single, 30ft long, strip of kebab meat. Very odd.

This is what I want at MeatUp 2 Electric Boogaloo

Ah yes, that reminds me...

Two or three nights ago I had a very vivid dream. Mark, Baz (Tinkers) and I were on holiday in Mexico.

We got split up one evening as Mark was hungry, Baz wanted to score some Peyote and I wanted to walk out onto the beach (in the near dark) to take photos of the sand sculptures. After much admiring and snapping I walked back up the beach to the bar they said they were going to try their luck in. I found them at a table with plates and plates of weird food. Mark said "No one understands a work of English here and this is all the stuff they've made as I've tried to describe a bacon and egg sandwich to them!" The closest thing they made, which Mark offered to me, was two fried eggs with bacon in between. Baz hadn't scored any peyote but their were glasses of local booze on the table. Which was nice.

Sounds good, when are we going?

We're still there, man.

*Ron Howard Narrator Voice*

Baz did, in fact, find some peyote.

I had a dream featuring loads of people last night. It was Cottage, but Cottage was this huge mansion/castle. We were all around a big log Fire in a candlelit stone fireplace. I hadn't been sleeping properly. MaliA said he could help anyone fall asleep because he could talk so calmly. He knelt beside me and started telling me a story about a frog that lost his voice, and I nodded to sleep. I was warm and wanted to get to bed, but Grim was laying in the doorway and said that if anyone came or went from the room they had to slide along his body. I tried, but he was difficult to get by do I felt more tired. Craster said he'd take me to a circus instead, as trying to climb over Grim had woken me up. We went to a big theatre where there was an artistic circus troupe and were in the front row, then everyone else sat behind us and had giant hotdogs and massive burgers, and Curio gave me a milkshake that was four different colours in a spiral of colours.

Oh, like I did at Cottag3.

The one in the photo on the hallway wall?

Two more years!

Very surprised that I wasn't mentioned.

Did this happen? Was my dream just a deep buried memory that I've blanked out of my consciousness?

Russell had to endure about ten mornings in a row where I woke up and said 'huh, I dreamt about Zardoz and Mark G again!' I think it was because I had been watching Mr Bloom.

It did not.

Maybe a consideration for the next one, then?

FTFY

Very vivid dream this morning about Theresa May resigning after some farce to do with the Queen's Speech today. It started off with the DUP saying they were not willing to do a deal with the conservatives as they didn't think they were competent enough to govern. Then there were emergency meetings among the Conservative MPs which ran into the Queen's Speech. This disrupted the normal order of the speech and actually made the whole thing invalid due to some minor technical rule written hundreds of years ago. At this point there was some disturbance outside parliament, and everyone got into a panic. the disturbance turned out to be a false alarm.

This lead to the Queen being visibly displeased and ended up with the PM resigning, and stepping down with immediate effect.

Maybe you're a new Oracle, Malc!

Last night I dreamed I was in a student house and woke up to see ants running on the walls. They were coming from a small crack that had appeared on the bedroom ceiling. I was weak and unwell, and could barely move, and I had dark red/purple/black pinprick marks literally all over my body. I looked purple-red as I looked at my arms. I tried to wake my house mate to tell her that we had a problem. She just said no, WE didn't have a problem, only I did, as she wasn't being bitten, and that I should go away as she was sleeping. I had to get the ants off me as they were poisonous or I was allergic to these bites, but I could barely move. I tried to drag myself to the bathroom to run a bath to get them off my skin, but needed to phone 999. I asked my housemate to please, please call an ambulance for me, but she said it was too early and she was going back to sleep. I was dying, and desperate for help and woke up whilst still dreaming of watching the water fill into the bath but not having the strength to get in

Sorry I couldn't make it to your dreams last night. I'd have called the Drs AND put Matey in your bath.

Sounds like a clip from the cutting room floor from "Un Chien Andalou"

S'ok. I know you're in high demand. Would it be sailor boy Matey? He's the best one

I like the idea of having a sailor in my bath too.

(Seaman joke)

It doesn't allow mobile playback, but probably best that I don't have any more nightmare fuel right now.

Yesterday's new Sarah & Duck adventure was about an ant that stole bread biscuits to make himself a new house as a flower had grown in his ant hill. Not wanting to assign blame or anything, but...

Kern, MaliA.

Tut tut