Be Excellent To Each Other

*Throws £200 in the Beex hot tub*

This just reminds me of the talk of a cottage hot tub tbh

They were spinning round (like a kiddie teacup ride rather than Waltzers) and going up and down, but the piston was off to one side, so the hot tub would tilt slightly and water would splash a fair bit (I have no idea how the plumbing was working)

Well, you were in charge of organising them in my dream...

'Overseeing'. She just wants to see these smoking jackets come off

*throws another 12 pound coins in the Beex hot tub*

Bizarre.

Three days ago was two years to the day since I was first in hospital when I had my heart attack and I had a dream that I was making a presentation to some hospital staff about my experience as a patient throughout my whole cardiac experience.

I watched Gemini Man on Saturday, and then dreamt that I was Henry Brogan (the main character) that night.

We're having a replacement boiler installed today, and last night I had a dream about that as well.

There seems to be a pattern emerging.

Only if you dream that you're the boiler. Then it goes all inceptiony.

Could you BE any more pre-emptively insensitive?

A weirdly great dream last night. I’d discovered that if you walk without taking your feet off the floor, basically a forwards moonwalk, I could travel at roughly three times my normal speed. I was powering past people on my way along an unfamiliar high street (somewhere in the lakes, rather than a busy city) on my way to meet up with my wife and kids. I took a turn off and then realised I was approaching Cleveleys seafront (but it wasn’t) and I noticed some furtive activity in a kind of bandstand on the edge of a park. I slid over and delightedly realised it was The Northern Boys taking a break between shooting a video! They obligingly agreed to a quick selfie but I couldn’t get them all in shot with me. Fin.

Please can you video the speedy forwards moonwalk? Would like to see.

It looked as good as it felt.

Ah, fuck. You've reminded me I used to regularly dream along the lines of hitchhiker's - forgetting to fall over so essentially just flying around a few inches off the ground. That started before I read the books so I can only assume Adams stole it from me. I miss that glorious feeling - I can almost remember the sensation now, physically.

On a significant other tangent, spoilering for not niceness

I had one of those dreams where you fall asleep after trying to wake up for the day.

BACKGROUND: I dreamed about Chris, who I knew as ‘Mott’. Chris was a real person I met eight years ago in real life. A massive guy who I met when having surgery. I’d had Darwin and needed quite complex surgery afterwards (again, all this really happened). I had to have an epidural for the surgery (after the birth, thanks hospital), and was taken to theatre. Because of my injuries, they couldn’t lay me on my front to administer the epidural, and because I was so weak, both due to labour but also blood loss, I couldn’t hold myself on my side. There was a lot of discussion about how to administer the epidural safely, and in the end, in desperation, they asked if I would be comfortable with this big fuzzy bear of a man who was assisting the surgeon getting in the gurney/table with me and holding me in position.

I said yes, because what other choice was there?

So this big guy gets onto the table with me, on his side, and wraps his legs around the outside of my legs, and his arms and body round me in a full body ‘hug’, and had to hold me like that. My face was buried in his massive chest and he kept asking if I was ok. To be honest I was kind of amused by the whole situation and felt *completely* at ease, but that’s because during this whole thing, being so weak and tired, for some reason my mind kept slipping into thinking it was @grim... that was with me. I kept calling this guy Mott. I apologised when I said it for about the eighth time, and one of the biggest memories I have is of him saying ‘that’s ok, you can call me ‘Mott’ if you like.

Anyway, all that actually happened eight years ago, that’s not the dream.

Last night I dreamed of Mott/Chris. He was holding me in that exact position and I was totally immobilised but felt completely safe. Every part of me was being held firmly still, but I wasn’t panicking about it. I was totally relaxed, and we were sort of slowly just moving through the universe, and I could see *everything*, (even though in real life I had my face to his chest so just had a face full of scrubs). I could see all of the galaxies and every star in the universe. I could very specifically see every good dog that existed. Every colour of the universe was there, and it was like the ‘real’ truth of things. Maybe I was dreaming I was on mushrooms or something, I don’t know. But anyway, ‘Mott’ was there just kind of supporting me through this amazing trip. It was brilliant.

Wow. In fact 'wow' to both the real story AND the dream.

Yeah. I do t think I appreciated how weird the real life bit was at the time as I was exhausted and just meeting my new baby, but it was the first thing I relayed to Russell as they wheeled me out of the theatre.

The dream was great though. Much peaceful. Very cosmic. Wow.

omg doxxed

You’ve doxxed yourself on here loads of times, mister.

Edit: I’ve edited to help your anonymity remain intact

I like the sound of this Mott fellow.

Mott brings the big cuddles. Everyone should have a go.

Is he any relation to Mop?

Just similar sounding names and beards.

I very, very rarely remember my dreams, but this morning I do actually recall one so I'm excited to put it here.

Last night I dreamed that I'd just started a new job and it was my induction (or perhaps I was applying and it was part of the interview, I can't remember) at some high tech company, possibly a government agency or something.

They asked me to put my email address into a computer terminal so that it could scan the internet and see what I'd been saying about this new place online, but I put the email address in wrong and yet it still came up with some stuff. The nice but stern lady then asked me what I thought about getting the milk delivery and bringing it inside; of course, I replied, it's important to get the milk so that everyone can have coffee and they don't get all cross because they haven't yet had their coffee, and I want to help everyone. She then asked what else I was good at so I did some backflips and then climbed up a staircase by jumping and climbing like Ezio from Assassin's Creed.

I was in a large marquee with about 20 teams of 5 people. We were being assigned jobs, and each team was choosing the equipment that would be needed for the next job.

I was the team leader of one team, and one of the guys I really work with, Ben, came over and said the van we'd been assigned was too small for our needs. I went and had a look and agreed with him.

So I went over to the Quartermaster who was Mimi, and let her know the situation., she consulted with her assistant, who had a perfect memory, and been fitted with an interface so that he could share those memories with everyone else. Turning him into a walking youtube.

The interface has some predictive ai software installed on it, and he called up the predicted outcome of my teams job using the assigned van, and the ai agreed with Ben, the van was indeed too small, it suggested a different van, however, that van was not available, they'd all been assigned to different teams.

Mimi then said we should go the garage and see what options where available there. So all four of us (Ben, Mimi, the assistant and I) somehow got on Ben's motorbike (a normal motorbike that should seat 2 people) and drove to the garage.

It turns out both the Marquee and the garage were both in Battersea Park in London. The Marquee near the bandstand, and the garage where the tennis courts are, next to the running track.

So, we ask the guy there what vans they have available, tell him the parameters of the job, and he says he will go and have a look.

Whilst he is gone I look at the boats on the river Thames (which in reality you could not do from where we are in Battersea Park) and notice that some of them are firing slow moving missiles, and then others are firing fast moving missiles in order to shoot them down.

I point this out to the others, and Ben says it looks like a missile test, as why else are they moving so slow?
Mimi points out that it wasn't a very successful test as half of the slow moving missiles didn't get hit.

Then one of the boats fires a Saturn v rocket ( the boat was not big enough to do this), which slowly starts taking off. It gets to about 200m and then starts falling down to the ground. It lands on the petrol station that is at the Chelsea Bridge entrance to Battersea Park (there is no petrol station there). It doesn't blow up, but it embeds itself in the ground, and fires start.

We were close enough that if it had exploded we would be dead, so we all get up, and head away from the crater. All I can think of is how do I get home, when I need to go over Chelsea Bridge to do that, and I consider trying to get past the crash site before it explodes, and then I wake up.

Oh, I think I responded to that the day you posted it, but for some reason my post didn’t save (for some reason I was getting an error message each time I posted for a while).

Weirdly, that dream is quite like a recurring dream I have, with the missiles slowly falling to earth. I’ve had it since I was a kid. Sometimes it’s bombs, other times it’s lighting, or meteorites.

That motorbike ride sounds snug!

I had a dream that I was trying to get to St James’ Park (the football stadium), where I was going to meet Russell and someone else.

Darwin and I were on a bus, when we bumped into Davpaz and Zardoz. There were off out somewhere, but they were running an hour or so early, so decided to help us navigate to the stadium. It took ages to get there and we had to hike up a mountain, and when we finally arrived the stadium had been swapped out for a stadium-sized bouncy castle that had been painted to look like stone but was very definitely bouncy. There was a very bouncy London underground train inside, doing loops to take you to your very bouncy seats. Davpaz and Zardoz were still there, bouncing along, seemingly having forgotten they were supposed to be going somewhere else.

Sweet. I love bouncy castle

Last night I dreamt I was sat at a show but it switched to me being Phil Oakey* playing Macbeth in a nightclub vip seating area. I casually walked up from the rest of the seated crowd to the stage and moved a few seat cushions around then sat ready for the other performers to reach the stage. As they did it dawned on me that I didn’t know any of the script, but before I could panic an alarm went off and everyone (cast and audience) went through a side door into a hipster canteen at the back. The food looked and smelled amazing but I only got to try a chocolate milkshake served in a baby’s bottle and pick up a large plate (from the dirty pile) before I woke up.

*first time I remember being someone else in a dream rather than me.

Cheers for letting us tag along, Mimi

Not at all. Thank YOU for your intimate knowledge of the mountains of Newcastle city centre. I literally don’t know where I’d be without you.

Would you possible say that you and he were together in an electric dream?

He didn't have to try. He just closed his eyes.

Yes, and yes.

I had a dream that Russell and I had to foster twin newborn babies, but no sooner than they were in our care they were kidnapped and taken off somewhere, starting this huge manhunt. They were eventually rescued and returned to us. It was only after I’d relayed the dream to Russell that he pointed out it was likely related to a TV show we watched over Christmas…

I had a dream (I think from playing Cyberpunk) where I was on some sort of mission to stop a wrongun. I was tailing him and watching him to gather intel, his nefarious activity was that he was taking aquarobics classes for old folks at our local YMCA but then murdering one of them each week for money somehow. Then one of our cats knocked over a clothes dryer in the bathroom which woke me up and so I never found out the ending.

I’ve been having the most absolutely unhinged dreams for the last week or so. Every night just full-on, long, completely unhinged, exhausting dreams, so bonkers that they are actually too bonkers to write down here.. The most vivid dreams I think I’ve ever had. I keep also oversleeping and I really do not feel at all rested. I am exhausted and starting to feel really lethargic because I feel so tired. Any ideas/advice?

Cocaine.

And a synth.

Can someone tell GazChap that he left his Mole Grips and some other tools on my bedroom outside window ledge when he finished doing the maintenance on my double glazing last night?

Thanks.

I haven’t worked on Windows for a couple of years now, can’t have been me

I had a dream a couple of nights ago where I was trying to solve some mystery. Then Craster came up to me, hit me round the head with a club, tied me up and then force fed me stew. Not, say a beef stew, or a chicken stew, but a spaghetti hoop stew.

It was awful.

No seasoning?

It had onion in it

Me, my wife, my daughter, my granddaughter and Pixie Lott (she was probably in my head because she was in McDonald and Dodds on TV last night) were on a holiday in the West Country in an old brown Ford Fiesta.

We stopped at a large roadside cafe in a small town, and on opening the boot of the car I discovered that there were several large dog beds in brown paper delivery bags, filling to boot completely. Pixie asked for money to buy dog treats, so I gave her a pile of 20p pieces because that's all I had in my pockets. I followed everyone into the pet shop to find that they'd bought bought 5 large puppies and there was no chance of us getting them in the car with us, AND I didn't want them anyway. I tried to return them and was examining the paperwork we'd been given with them, only find there was mix up with some docs from other other customers. I had to go through the pile of papers, picking out various checks, receipts, etc. belonging to the other customers.

At some point in the middle of all this, possibly shortly after leaving the cafe (but I'm a bit hazy about that), I was pushing someone in wheel chair up narrow hill path, with the rest of the holiday makers along with me. We came to a hairpin turn in the path, too narrow to negotiate with the wheelchair, after which the path just became a steep, muddy track. It was so narrow that I had extreme difficulty turning the chair round to go back down and we then had a big argument about why we'd decided to go on this difficult walk.

Then I woke up in a bad temper.

A snippet from the end of a recent dream came back to me, making ready meals for work with leftovers from the weekend with Tom Waits.

Wait, were you making meals with Tom Waits or was your weekend with Tom Waits? Because, frankly, either option requires more explaination.

Not a dream as such, but this amused me.

Darwin was away for a few days with his scouts group on a camping trip. When he returned home he’d had a reaction or something that gave him a rash. We gave him Piriton before bed and decided to wake him at midnight for a second dose.

When I went into his room at 12, I woke him up and asked him to sit up, and was he ready to take the Piriton. He looked at me for a few seconds and looked really confused, before asking me ‘Do I recognise you from somewhere?’.

I said ‘well, I hope you recognise me’.

‘Yup’.

Who do you think I am?

‘Scout leader’.

Then Russell asks who Darwin thinks he is, and Darwin looks him dead in the eyes and said ‘well you’re Russell’.

I’m still laughing about it a few days later.