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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:32 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 12930
Satsuma wrote:
My dreams are better than yours.


Y’see people, don’t even try and compete with my dreams. You might as well just get blackout drunk before you go to sleep at night, cause my mighty brain is feeding me sweet sweet sexy dreams while wolves chomp down on your delicates.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2018 13:20 
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Paws for thought

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Satsuma wrote:
Y’know how they say that sex dreams are, like, about other things? Well I had a sex dream last night and it seemed entirely about just having great sex.

My dreams are better than yours.

Details left out.
It was with doll, wasn't it.

I had a really weird dream the other night where I suddenly noticed that everyone I knew was actually a hippopotamus,and I've just been very unobservant my entire life.
It was not a sex dream.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:22 
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gooby pls

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I can almost never remember my dreams, but last night I dreamt that for BeEx's 10 year anniversary, Grim... updated the forum software to a spangly new one that ran on Joomla.

I remember feeling very disappointed in the dream, and even calling Jem over to get her to check that I wasn't going mad, and that it was actually running on Joomla.

Apparently my deep-seated hatred of Joomla is now infecting my subconscious too ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:00 
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Also Beex was 10 months ago.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2018 15:33 
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Can't re-member

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Grim... wrote:
Also Beex was 10 months ago.

Feels longer.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 10:43 
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Lord Humongous

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Weird dream snippet just came back to me:

Was walking through Poulton (local town) and stumbled across Markg and Baz* among other people sat outside a pub and a few pints in. On seeing me Mark asked if I wanted a drink and walked into the bar then insisted on buying me Gammon**, Egg & Chips as "it was just a nice thing to do". Didn't have the heart to tell him I would have preferred the steak and ale pie. Woke up before meal arrived. :(


*Tinkers regular

**he must be a leave voter!

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 7:23 
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Paws for thought

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You know how you always wake up in dreams before you die. It's said that this is because your mind doesn't know how to represent it and what comes after.

So I died last night...

What comes after is that Grim... and Craster give you an expensive server*. And then someone breaks into your house and leaves a cake informing you that they've taken your cooking pans.

Frankly, this is not at all what I expected.

I woke up at that point. Death, I sneer at. Stealing my kitchenware, and replacing it with an ugly yellow cake with messy luminous green icing writing on it, that I take offence to.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 7:43 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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I had a nightmare that last night Mr Dave posted an unresolved footnote, but calmed down by convincing myself that would never happen.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 7:52 
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FOR I AM HE

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:04 
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Paws for thought

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* - it was their fault I died, clearly. I was fixing their server** which, because they are apparently bond villains or something, was suspended miles off the ground by a crane in some mountains. For cooling, apparently.

I fell. For quite a time.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:37 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
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Zardoz wrote:

insisted on buying me Gammon**, Egg & Chips as "it was just a nice thing to do".


He's not wrong. If only there were more random acts of ham, this country would be a better place.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 18:10 
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I was on a motor yacht at sea, with about a dozen other people, but the engine failed and we were going to have to be towed back to harbour.

As the tow rope was about to be attached, I advised everyone that they'd be better in the cabin, because if the tow rope broke, it could whip back and cause serious injuries.

No one wanted to go in the cabin, they all said they might be sea sick if they were below deck, so we were all crowded on the deck. A couple of kids sat at the bow, and I was stuck on the port side with my feet only half on the side of the deck, holding on to a rail on top of the cabin and expecting to fall overboard at any moment. Then some dick-head went, 'Boo!' right beside me and I nearly lost my grip. He thought it was hilarious, but I told him I was going to kick the shit out of him when we made land.

Then, we were ashore and had gone into a cafe for a meal that we'd pre-ordered before our pleasure cruise. I was sitting alone, and not really hungry as I'd eaten earlier, but then remembered that I'd ordered scallops as a starter, as I'd never had them before. They arrived, and suddenly I didn't fancy them. Another bloke has joined me at the table, an old friend who I hadn't seen for over 40 years, and I offered him my starter and slid the plate over to him. Then I thought I'd better try one scallop, just to see what it was like. I bit into it, and it was very meaty and quite tough, with a texture like pork. The taste wasn't unpleasant, but it was very chewy and I thought i'd never be able to finish it.

The End.

Some of this has a basis in reality. I have been on a boat recently (the Isle of Wight ferry, which ran aground a few days later), Mrs. W and I were discussing scallops a few days ago when we saw them on some foody programme and neither of us ever have tried them, and I last year I did make contact with an old friend who I hadn’t seen or heard from in around 40 years.


Update. My old friend doesn't like scallops.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:35 
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Gogmagog

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I had a dream that I was on on Criminal Dragons Den looking for cash after I had set up an escape room thing which really was a shipping container and then the captured people would work in offshore places laundering money and there was a long discussion about the ethics of killing the lorry drivers used to transport these containers and selling the lorries for more profit.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:08 
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Sleepyhead

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MaliA wrote:
I had a dream that I was on on Criminal Dragons Den looking for cash after I had set up an escape room thing which really was a shipping container and then the captured people would work in offshore places laundering money and there was a long discussion about the ethics of killing the lorry drivers used to transport these containers and selling the lorries for more profit.


I mean, that sounds like something you would plausibly do.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:26 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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WTF killing the lorry drivers is a blatant paper trail to the delivery location. Amateur hour.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:28 
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MaliA wrote:
Criminal Dragons Den


Is that what they're calling re-runs of the original 'Apprentice'?


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:29 
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MaliA wrote:
I had a dream that I was on on Criminal Dragons Den looking for cash after I had set up an escape room thing which really was a shipping container and then the captured people would work in offshore places laundering money


Given the performance of the various teams I've done escape rooms with, this probably isn't the money-spinner you think it is.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:30 
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I had a dream last night that I was in York playing a game with Grim... and JBR. I was on top of the Cathedral, and Grim... was at street level playing some kind of cat and mouse game where he had to run from a starting point with a 15 second headstart to his house (in York) some mile or so away, down twisty lanes, avoiding a pursuer, to reach his house before he was caught. JBR was running in and out of the streets trying to draw the persuer away as a decoy, but he kept stopping as he was getting distracted by antiques and collectibles shops. I was finding routes from the top of the cathedral using binoculars and directing Grim... and JBR using wallow talkies.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:50 
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Run? Bit far fetched.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:54 
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Cras wrote:
Run? Bit far fetched.

He was definitely running!

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:55 
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Mimi wrote:
I had a dream last night that I was in York playing a game with Grim... and JBR. I was on top of the Cathedral, and Grim... was at street level playing some kind of cat and mouse game where he had to run from a starting point with a 15 second headstart to his house (in York) some mile or so away, down twisty lanes, avoiding a pursuer, to reach his house before he was caught. JBR was running in and out of the streets trying to draw the persuer away as a decoy, but he kept stopping as he was getting distracted by antiques and collectibles shops. I was finding routes from the top of the cathedral using binoculars and directing Grim... and JBR using wallow talkies.


That would make an excellent gameshow.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 13:02 
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But ONLY if they could get hold of wallow talkies.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:20 
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Lord Humongous

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Snippets from last nights dreams:

Stopping queue jumping women from getting in front of me to the manky hotel toilet. Once I got through the door the bog was basically a compost bin with a wooden lid.

Struggling to keep up with my fellow riders on a mountain bike ride as for some reason the handlebar on my new bike was a bendy stick.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:54 
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Unpossible!

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Arg! You reminded me about my horrible dream on Sunday night!

Craster came to my Uni to deliver a lecture on using bash scripts to make computers say funny sentences.

It was horrible.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2019 10:05 
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Lord Humongous

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What part reminded you? The compost toilet or the bendy stick?

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2019 11:25 
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Sleepyhead

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DavPaz wrote:
Arg! You reminded me about my horrible dream on Sunday night!

Craster came.

It was horrible.


FTFY

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2019 8:39 
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As I have got older, I have developed a tendency to fall asleep if I am not physically active, e.g. while watching TV, just sitting on the sofa looking out into the garden, or even sitting in my van waiting for a call to be allocated to me. Sometimes, I’m only asleep for a fraction of a second, but in that time I may experience a instant dream, usually involving having a conversation with someone random, or whoever I’m actually with at the time, and I’ll wake up with the last thing I said still in mind. Occasionally, I’ll blurt out something I would have said to continue the conversation and Mrs W will ask me what the hell I’m talking about if it occurred while we’re together, but mostly I just have the last phrase in my head. For your amusement, I will post these in this thread, when I have time to note them, as otherwise I’ll usually have forgotten them within a few seconds.

This morning’s phrase, that popped up as I was just waking up from last night’s sleep, was , “If you only mean a fish, you should ask for it.”

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2019 9:09 
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The best ever one I did was shout, “Shut UP!”, to which my then-wife said, “what?”

Of course I replied with, “Not you—Elton John.”

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2019 12:05 
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Mr Chonks wrote:
The best ever one I did was shout, “Shut UP!”, to which my then-wife said, “what?”

Of course I replied with, “Not you—Elton John.”


Makes perfect sense.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2019 10:22 
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This morning’s waking words, ‘Angels sing this song.’

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 6:25 
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I had a really weird and really long dream about @Grim... last night.

I dreamed I was on a road that I semi-recognised, where there was a car. It was a big squarish 1990s car, and it had broken down. I was trying to pull it along the road and it wasn’t budging. Suddenly there was a big hand on my shoulder and it was Grim... He chuckled and said I was doing it all wrong and you were supposed to push the car and someone should be inside it. He had a big car thing, like a Land Rover, and put a rope on it and towed the 90s car. This was great, but he accidentally towed the two of us on holiday to the south of France.

We had nowhere to stay so we ended up finding an Air B&B in the old grape squishing room of a vineyard. Now, we read, they sent their grapes away to be trodden on. It was cool inside, but there were just some raised wooden slats to sleep on so we set about trying to find blankets and something soft for our heads in the land rover car.

It was late and we were tired, so going to sleep, when Grim... was laughing about the absurdity of the situation and I said he could be the Withnail to my I. Then he got serious and said we’d need to keep quiet around all you lot as everyone knew that we’d been briefly together or had a one night stand around uni days and it would raise eyebrows. I panicked a bit but argued that a) nobody would ever think that and b) definitely nothing ever happened between us. But he said yes, he’d realised that I’d somehow blanked it from my mind but everyone knew and were constantly mocking me for forgetting. Then I tried to go to sleep but felt really confused and conflicted, and Grim... put his arm around me and I felt really safe but panicky because PEOOLE WOULD ASSUME. Then I woke up.

I think I must know how Craster feels at the Cottage, or something. Really conflicted! It really was a very big warm cuddle, though. But also, danger!

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 7:33 
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Unpossible!

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Mr Grim..., care to respond to these subconscious allegations?


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 8:40 
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There are three flowers in the vase. The third flower is yellow.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:53 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

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Mimi wrote:
This was great, but he accidentally towed the two of us on holiday to the south of France.


For some reason, this doesn't sound entirely out of the realm of possibility.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:54 
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Lord Humongous

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Wait...

Where was I?

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 15:15 
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In the boot of the range rover type car, bound and gagged and wearing a tutu and tap shoes ........oh, hang on, that's MY nightmare.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 15:22 
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Some more waking thoughts

1. When he pushed me.

2. Don't forget. Fuel at the back exit.

3. We are now , of course, post revolution.

4. Me. "Nice boots

Some bloke, " What?"

Me, " I'm talking about nice oath boots."

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 17:17 
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Skillmeister

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One that I sent to Perkies earlier this year. The "you" in it is him, natch. cba to edit it.

Quote:
Zardoz was lobbying for the immediate release of a (I'm going to use this work because it was in the dream, which of course is completely separate from my own subconscious and everything) retarded man from custody so that he could "roam free" and live like a cow in a field. He did this by making incredibly complex equations proving that he wasn't a threat to anybody, and transcribed them into a Geocities era website using a rented-by-the-hour PC at his local library.


The, ahem, retard had just killed his tiny frail mother, and for some reason you and ("Mrs Perkies" -Ed), Zardoz, and me and my Ma were invited to her funeral. Upon arriving at the venue, Zardoz insisted on going to meet the, oh lordy, retard at his tiny flat where he'd beaten his mother to death. It was like a gorilla enclosure at a zoo. Crap and food scattered all over the floors. He was the size of the Incredible Hulk, and was feasting on endless plates of plain boiled rice while eyeballing us. Upon seeing me, he launched himself onto a piggyback position on me and shit and vomited all over my back between our two bodies. We were like a cack sandwich. Suddenly a load of tiny lady nurses appeared shouting about the "epi pen" they use to calm him down. As I fell to the floor slowly being crushed by the weight of the... retard, they injected ME with the tranq so that I wouldn't be too distressed while they levered him off.


After that I had to be stripped off to my kecks and hosed down of the three inch thick patty of poo and sick that had congealed all down my back, all the while I was high off my tits on tranquillisers. It was at this moment that you appeared from your flight from Canacia for the funeral. You were dressed as a dapper cowboy (probably my RDR2 playthrough sourced that one), and tried to introduce me to ("Mrs Perkies" -Ed) while I was still half covered in shit and being blasted from the hose. My Ma was fretting around me going "don't worry, don't worry, I always carry a spare set of your clothes with me".


We attended the funeral and the.... hnnngh retard was hauled in on a chain to pay his last respects before being took back to his flat. Then you offered me a lift back home in your Morris Minor :D


I'm quite happy with it.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 22:15 
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Lord Humongous

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Did I get him to the field?

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 9:16 
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Bad Girl

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A hat trick of weirdness last night:

I’m at my folks house. I have a sore neck. I’m looking in the mirror and sweep back my gorgeous long black hair (IRL I’ve got short hair) to reveal two giant ticks that have burrowed into my neck. I’m asking my dad to help remove them but he’s just faffing around and eventually goes upstairs. My mum comes down and removes them.

[second dream redacted] - literally forgot what it was as I was typing. Man alive it’s difficult to recall a dream if you don’t latch onto some detail immediately.

I’m on an sunny tropical island. There’s a rumbling in the earth. Myp’s there for some reason and he’s printed an email he intends to send to the “California Earthquake something”. He hands me an envelope with the paper copy of the email and asks me if he should send it. I tell him yes. I leave whatever room I’m in with Myp and outside there’s been huge floods and devastation. The land is cracked and fractured, with areas raised above newly forms water ways. I’m wearing trainers. I need to cross from one raised area to another to reach the jungle beyond.

The End.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 10:51 
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Can't re-member

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I’m the man of your dreams

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 11:02 
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Bad Girl

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Literally metaphorically!


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 11:03 
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Can't re-member

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Literally

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2019 8:17 
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"Countdown" match-fixing.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2019 10:41 
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Lord Humongous

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Last night involved a Tinkers meet, well a drive up to the lakes in various cars. The motorway was just a three lane country road with no hard shoulder just glorious scenery and hedgerows. We came to a stop when the motorway came to a steep incline 70º - 80º! Getting out (now all in Grim...'s Tomcat) we decided we needed to climb up and attached the winch. We laughed at each other when we realised the road surface was a loose material and proceeded to grab handfuls and haul ourselves up like we were climbing a curtain.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:13 
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Isn't that lovely?

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Had a bit of an odd but boring dream this morning, it was very realistic, I was lying in bed listening to my phone play music, when I suddenly got it into my head that Lidl was going bust. Apparently I heard it on the radio, but then I seemed to be 2 people in one mind. There was an argument in my brain with one side saying, I couldn't have heard it on the radio, because I was listening to music, so this must be a dream, and the other side insisting that it was true, and making me remember that I'd googled it and it was all over the internet. Apparently it was supposed to be some sort of project fear rumor that got out of control and actually lead to investors panicking and now they had to close. The other part insisted there was no way such a thing could be true and that it must clearly be a dream, and what about Aldi, surely if Lidl was suffering than Aldi would suffer too? That was all part of Project Fear according to the other half of my brain, without explaining what that meant or anything.

Even though I knew it must be a dream, it was very convincing and I almost thought that Lidl must have gone under, so much so that when I was actually awake properly I did google it!

Bloody Brexit

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 21:43 
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Noob as of 6/8/10

Joined: 6th Aug, 2010
Posts: 3600
Location: , Location, Location.
Very odd one last night.

I was at some sort of staff event at my old government office. I’d left I.T. but my old head of branch, Sarah, approached me and asked if i could delete a lot of users off the office system for her. “Including myself?’ I asked, and she gave me a look that said ‘probably.’ There was more to it, but I can’t remember it now.

Sarah was an odd person. She used to be a quite successful competitive swimmer, but when she was parachuted in to our office, with management responsibility for the IT team, we knew nothing about her until the day she arrived and came to introduce herself. Within about ten minutes she’d told us that she wasn’t married, but was having an on/off affair with a married man who kept promising to leave his wife, but never did. She continually tried to break off this relationship, but couldn’t resist him. She ended up recruiting him as a facilities management consultant when we were having to move out of our office block because our lease was ending and the landlord wanted us out. This guy was also an amateur magician and spent half his time at work trying out new tricks. He was fucking useless as a facilities consultant as well and tried to privately sell off a lot of our assets that we needed to dispose of. He found a supposedly good building and a great deal for us to move, but the whole thing fell through because of his mismanagement and we ended up moving s elsewhere.

Odd that I should dream about her after all this time.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 8:22 
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Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 20764
I had a dream that doctors managed successful heart transplants from sharks into humans, and that heart transplant patients were cleared to complete in world athletics events. People with shark hearts were explosively quick at things like running and could do the 100m in six seconds, but only in very warm countries on account of sharks being cold blooded.

The dream was actually far more than just that snippet, and I promised myself I’d remember it, but of course did not :(

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 7:25 
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Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 25024
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
Another one sent off to Perkies this morning. Again, the "you" is him.

Quote:
I had a dream last night I got a job at a statistical prognostics company that you and Dave worked at. Their business was looking at five inter-woven cog/screws with numbers on them. By setting them at different lengths and rotating they were able to generate reports on what might happen in the future.


It was my first day and I was only given three sheets of printed paper detailing the cogs and alchemical symbols and what they could mean. Everybody worked on old 486 PCs (with Turbo switches!), and you were working on a report entitled "How Group Sex Will Lead to The Downfall of the Human Race". The lady who was supposed to train me in what to do was just staring at the printed instructions and holding her head in her hands, silent. Dave was rattling off reports very quickly, and the entire room went "bong" when a report was completed.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreams and nightmares
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 7:58 
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Can't re-member

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 53493
Location: Liberty City
Dave is a genius, that’s why

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