Be Excellent To Each Other

Needs guitars.

Only if the were Flying V ones, then they could double as weapons. The elephants could carry the amps on their backs.

Er, are we talking about Romero shufflers, 28 days later fasties or Evil Dead type possessed by Candarian Demon Zombies?

Not that it makes any difference to my 'Tooled up Raver' MO, just for clarity like.

*slaps Zardoz hard in the face*
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NONE-ROMERO ZOMBIES!!!!
*carries on slapping, with Z's Stan Laurel head whipping from side to side*

Slaps Dimrill and ties his beard to his love satchel.

"THERE ARE UMPTEEN FLAVOURS"

Rage Zombies are not strictly speaking real zombies, but this distinction is often academic when faced with them at home. Remember that they are not undead, and as such possess no particular srengths or weaknesses, and so can be dealt with in the same manner as you would any violent neighbourhood prick. A sharp blow to an exposed joint or fleshy part of the neck is often sufficient. Also note that as they are infected with rage, they can sometimes be neutralised by a warm and sincere hug, and are easily thwarted by surrendering the machine.

Tropical demon zombies are admittedly more of a pest than the common or 'garden' zombie, and are generally hardier and can breed at a fantastic rate. Fortunately, they are not well suited to the mild British climate, and will only prove a problem during the height of the summer, during which time it is advisable to simply befriend a priest who can bless your garden hose, bestowing you with an excellent repellant that not only reduces the beasts to a pungent sludge, but can also dispose of the resulting mess. Clinical trials have yet to be attempted, but it is generally regarded as unwise to apply tigers to a demon zombie colony.

What happens if:

A Zombie bites a Vampire?
A Zombie bites a Werewolf?
A Vampire bites a Zombie?
A Werewolf bites a Zombie?

Hmm?

Kate Beckinsale makes another shit film.

I'm thinking now of changing my standard Chainsaw to a Silver one and using Garlic flavoured Nail Bombs.

Just to be sure.

Heh. 'Apply tigers liberally to the affected area'.



Kate Beckinsale, which is never a bad thing.

"Lilliputians prepare for the zombie invasion"

Holy shit, Liliputian zombies! I didn't even consider them. The tigers would give them nary a glance!

Damn it, we need a countermeasure.

Golf shoes!

But what about when we're asleep? Sentries might not even spot their tiny shambling figures, and a bite - even a hearty lillizombie feast - could be mistaken for an insect bite or accidental self-slicing during a sleep itch.

But your boot licking tendencies would make you a prime candidate for infection Dimrill!

I think a few buckets of Jayes fluid/Domestos and hot water should sort the little blighters out.

Mosquito nets! While asleep!

Flymo.

Facebook

This.

A well-trained domestic cat?

A bevy of attack mice?

A 'quarantine' room full of killer bees?

Cattle grids.

Needs more frickin' head mounted laser beams.

So we should hole up in an National Trust property then. Sorted.

Just keep an eye on the women running the tea rooms.

Why? Are they hawt?

Invariably, yes.

Which NT places have you been going to? I'd have said they're invariably old, enormous, and hideous. But very nice and make lovely cake.

The tea rooms on Brownsea Island was staffed by hawtness last time I was there.

Somebody's been reading John Christopher's The Death of Grass/John Wyndham's Day of the Triffids/ watching Terry Nation's Survivors.

~ "Oh no! My test tube!"

~ "Yeurgh!"

~ "Don't worry. Only johnny foreigner Chinaman will be affected! Have faith, Britons!"

~ "Good lord! Yeurgh!"

~ "Oh noes! They're all dead!"

~ "Life isn't worth living!"

~ "Hello survivors, I'm George Baker and have a farm. JOIN ME."

~ "Hurray!"

~"But I'm mad with power!"

~ "Oh no! Let's off him sharpish and run off to that valley!"

~ "Yay! Subsistence farming!"

~ "Ook ook!"

~ "Aiee! Zombie monkeys!"

Um, I can't remember what happens next. The zombie monkeys kidnap Charlton Heston and force him to become an ace attorney, is that it?

P.S: Sorry CUS.

Nominate POTW.

YES!!!

If a zombie bit a womble...

Yes, and nice and yummy and stuff. I like the lasses at Stowe.

ZOmbles!?!?! ZOMG!

Yes. They seem to be quite lovely down here in the Brecons too. And I have seen rather nice ladies in the Dales, Lakes & Peak District areas too.

Some fiendishly ace top-trumping of my post there, Dimrill. Thang yew all who who posted appreciation of smilie-story, by the way.

I think we have the beginnings of a new National Trust Guide. I shall try to get up there this weekend and take photos...

Maybe we can convince them to make one of those nude calendars - Babes of National Trust Tearooms.

This is the greatest thread ever.

Did you just draw that on the spot? It is the utterly geniusest thing ever

No, I wrote it when I was 15, drew it probably around this time last year.

With Chainsaws and Shotguns.

Excellent work, Mr Dimrill, though that means I am still in the lead. Ahh! How I coset this fleeting glory!

In the lead? Not 14 years behind?

If a Zombie bit a Soul Funk Combo?

Kool & The Gangrene

Um, ah, yes.

*crestfallen*

But you get to work in a library, so in the end you win by default.

Possibly one of the best places to hide from Zombies too.

I get to work in a building society but one of the tyres is deflated.

Thick glasses FTFY.