Zombies

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 16:38

*Starts up silver chainsaw*

THE BASSARDS HAVE GOT TA KALMARRRRR!

Curiosity · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 16:55

Zardoz wrote:

If a Zombie bit a Soul Funk Combo?

Kool & The Gangrene

If a Zombie bit The Pogues...

...nothing would happen.

Actually, the zombie might die.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 17:23

Broins, Broins.... (hic)
\

NervousPete · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 17:27

Every Saturday night in Cardiff is like zombie night. Lurching, pale faced, slurring creatures with red eyes and an unnerving habit of suddenly speeding up and attacking, chanting the words, "Brains! Brains!" over and over again.

myp · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 17:39

I can't wait until I'm stuck in the Telford shopping centre with you guys.

"For some reason, I can only move my camera around with one hand, but my gun around with the other..."

Sheepeh · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 2320

Myoptika, why did you hang up on me? That's very rude!

Myoptika, it looks like CUS is stuck inside SexyFunTime Ltd! You need to rescue him!

Myoptika, how did you manage to drink all that orange juice and not need a wee?

Dimrill · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 18:07

Ah Telford! I forgot I did that one too...

Some Bearded Arse wrote:

For years I've said that the best local shopping centre to evacuate to during the inevitable zombie outbreak is Telford Shopping Centre. It combines easy to block entrances with a goodly supply of food and essentials to cope with the disaster. Perusing the map reveals 7 or 8 entrances, most of which have vehicular access, to block. An Asda for food (although this is outside of the main mall area and would maybe prove a problem to get to), and loads of other shops for entertainment purposes. The only sticking point would be the lack of a firearms shop to the British government's stupid rules about not let everyone shoot each other dead. Tut. Still, there's a BHS and I'm sure Asda would have a few shovels for to whack zombage with. Failing that, some of the tatty jewellery has some vicious pins on the rear which could be driven into z-brains with sufficient force. Except if they're runny vicious zombies. WHICH THEY WON'T BE. From working nearby, Zippy Barnacle Stickle Mr F J Brick Biscuit Pie Unit Sofa 3:16 has started to scope the place out himself for the same purposes. He's noticed a nice inaccessible walkway which could lead to defensible security offices and so forth. Good fucking oh.

The question remains how to block the entrances. A search on google and google maps reveals a haulage firm in Doseley called Je & R Bates Haulage Ltd (postcode TF4 3BD if you want to google map it yourself), which would prove promising for lorries of sufficient size for the task. Getting there would be the problem. Neither of us own a helicopter, and if we did we couldn't drive/fly it. Bums. Still! There should be sufficient supplies in the shopping centre to get us there, surely. Well, no helicopter or plane shops are there, and a distinct lack of car showrooms or such like. The only possible solution I could think of is harnessing the power of the filthy sky rats and balloon sales people that populate the area. A bit of bread from Asda and a goal net from JJB Sports would sort out the pigeon capture, and assuming the balloon sales people hadn't let go of the balloons while being eviscerated, it wouldn't be that difficult to wrestle them off their reanimated corpses. So we're all set to go.

Zippy Barnacle Stickle Mr F J Brick Biscuit Pie Unit Sofa 3:16 can't drive so that would mean I would have to be the one lowered to the trucks. An artist's rendition of this scenario follows. Once dropped, I'd assume a few well aimed rocks would bring him down to drive back to the shopping centre. A few would hit him in the face, true, but it's a sacrifice he must make.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Tue Apr 22, 2008 18:48

myoptika wrote:

I can't wait until I'm stuck in the Telford shopping centre with you guys.

"For some reason, I can only move my camera around with one hand, but my gun around with the other..."

Dear Lord, that place is the closest I have come to murder.

Every time I go home for Xmas I realise I have to pick up a couple of things at the last minute, and that is the place of choice (as opposed to... nowhere else nearby). I just wander around it aimlessly, feeling my IQ drop by association.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25584

Dimrill, your mind is a place of wonder.

Morte · **Posted:** Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:12

I object to the fact that my lovely zombie thread has been classed as 'Daft'. The coming zombie apocalypse is a serious matter. A very serious matter indeed :attitude:

Zardoz · **Posted:** Wed Apr 23, 2008 16:03

I want Left 4 Dead now please.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

Uh-oh, I appear to be performing necromancy on a zombie thread! It's awesome though.

Morte wrote:

I object to the fact that my lovely zombie thread has been classed as 'Daft'. The coming zombie apocalypse is a serious matter. A very serious matter indeed :attitude:

You're right, fortunately Gill has a plan more elaborate than Curly-Wurlys to save the chosen few!

Zardoz wrote:

Dudes. Chainsaw and Shotgun.

That said, Zardoz's plan sounds more fun!

I am most likely to run to the sea! Obviously I'm counting on the zombies not having armbands, liferings or enough gas in them to make them buoyant.
It'd be awesome, I could jump about between the Western Isles looking for fresh water, shelter, food (a man can't survive on fish alone) and the uninfected (I reckon the sheepshaggers up North will be the last to get infected, unless shagging sheep is the cause of said zombie apocalypse).

Zardoz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 28, 2009 16:34

Zardoz wrote:

I want Left 4 Dead now please.

1 G0†Z 1T! | G0†Z iT!

Zardoz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 28, 2009 16:41

Slight changes to my survival kit now I've been training:
Torch without batteries (so I don't startle ginger Girls Aloud members)
100 propane gas tanks
Wet wipes

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:28

I thought this was about the Zombies, Run! game that is on the G1 (other phones are available). It fires up your GPS, spawns zombies around you and move them inward. You have to run to your safe house, avoiding zombies on the way. It's aces.
Carry on.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:35

No. This is a serious thread about real Zombies.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

I was in the Arndale Centre at the weekend. Wouldn't want to have to hold that place against the zombie horde. What were the designers thinking? Do they not have a zombie-proofing phase of the design at all, or something?

In related news, whilst in the Arndale Centre I fell right on my fucking arse.

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:43

Craster wrote:

In related news, whilst in the Arndale Centre I fell right on my fucking arse.

LLOL, and I'm not sure why :DD

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:44

Grim... wrote:

I thought this was about the Zombies, Run! game that is on the G1 (other phones are available). It fires up your GPS, spawns zombies around you and move them inward. You have to run to your safe house, avoiding zombies on the way. It's aces.
Carry on.

Wait, what?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:47

Craster wrote:

In related news, whilst in the Arndale Centre I fell right on my fucking arse.

Did you fall over a Chav whilst looking at the ceiling for air vent access panels?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Stepped on a greasy mcdonalds wrapper, did the splits and dropped like a cunt.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16556

That Zombie game sounds ace, this review of it is just about the worst review of anything, ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYTnmDuYlUY

What a conch.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:53

markg wrote:

That Zombie game sounds ace, this review of it is just about the worst review of anything, ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYTnmDuYlUY

What a conch.

Brian, from AndroidApps.com, you're a tool. it sounds aceness.

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:59

MaliA wrote:

Grim... wrote:

I thought this was about the Zombies, Run! game that is on the G1 (other phones are available). It fires up your GPS, spawns zombies around you and move them inward. You have to run to your safe house, avoiding zombies on the way. It's aces.
Carry on.

Wait, what?

It's a game on the G1. It fires up your GPS, spawns zombies around you and moves them inward. You have to run to your safe house, avoiding zombies on the way. It's aces.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhqn1PHMTZY

[edit]Okay, his version is way older than mine. I had Zomies rather than dots, and they make 'uuuurgh' noises in your headphones when they come close to you.

Morte · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:43

By various methods too long and complex to go into here I saw 'Dead Snow' last night. It's well worth a look for any one remotely interested in this sort of thing. It doesn't do anything particularly new but it does what it does very well and it's not bad at all for something that cost tuppence.

I also saw 'Punisher: Warzone' which seems to have swapped any pretext of plot or character development for gags. Gags such as: Shotgun blasts to the face at close range, old ladies with half their heads missing, heads falling off, knife plunges to the top of the head, Rambo style automatic weapon limb removal services and so on and so on. As such I think it's probably truer to the source material than the first one and overall I rather enjoyed it....don't think I'd sit through it again but it entertained my primative monkey brain for the hour and a half I wasted on it.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:45

I ordered World War Z last night.
:metul:

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

Dead Snow looks worth a watch just for zombies that look like this guy.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Morte wrote:

I also saw 'Punisher: Warzone' which seems to have swapped any pretext of plot or character development for gags. Gags such as: Shotgun blasts to the face at close range, old ladies with half their heads missing, heads falling off, knife plunges to the top of the head, Rambo style automatic weapon limb removal services and so on and so on. As such I think it's probably truer to the source material than the first one and overall I rather enjoyed it....don't think I'd sit through it again but it entertained my primative monkey brain for the hour and a half I wasted on it.

WHY WAS I NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS?

I was really hoping for a new Punisher film, as the first one was ok but just not violent enough (the cop out with the

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

blow torch in the torture scene is particularly annoying

). But why oh why have they replaced the guy from the first one with a guy who looks like a younger less ginger Ray Winstone?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:06

Oh yeah, saw this in Morrissons for £5.99. Is it any good?

Outpost

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:07

the name rings a bell.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Zardoz wrote:

Oh yeah, saw this in Morrissons for £5.99. Is it any good?[/img]
Outpost

There was some discussion about that on here a while ago. The search function is your friend.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:10

It's ok. I'll wait.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

TA DA

Malabelm · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:14

I enjoyed it. It was okay.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:20

Mr Chris wrote:

TA DA

Ta. So it's entertaining shite, might pick up a copy next time I'm in Mozzers then.

Zardoz wrote:

Get that Outpost and send me a copy please. There could be an SS cardy in it for you.

...Why didn't you do this?

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Zardoz wrote:

Get that Outpost and send me a copy please. There could be an SS cardy in it for you.

...Why didn't you do this?

I spent the money on leather elbow patches for the corduroy jacket.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:24

Dude, get some money back. They're not leather.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Morte · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:46

WullieOoster wrote:

Dead Snow looks worth a watch just for zombies that look like this guy.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Oh it's well worth a watch, the only thing better than killing Nazis is killing Zombie Nazis (COD 5 excepted of course).

Morte · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:48

Mr Chris wrote:

Morte wrote:

I also saw 'Punisher: Warzone' which seems to have swapped any pretext of plot or character development for gags. Gags such as: Shotgun blasts to the face at close range, old ladies with half their heads missing, heads falling off, knife plunges to the top of the head, Rambo style automatic weapon limb removal services and so on and so on. As such I think it's probably truer to the source material than the first one and overall I rather enjoyed it....don't think I'd sit through it again but it entertained my primative monkey brain for the hour and a half I wasted on it.

WHY WAS I NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS?

I was really hoping for a new Punisher film, as the first one was ok but just not violent enough (the cop out with the

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

blow torch in the torture scene is particularly annoying

). But why oh why have they replaced the guy from the first one with a guy who looks like a younger less ginger Ray Winstone?

It's well worth hunting down at you 'local stockists', the leading man works better than the original fella...personally I thought he was about the right age.

Runcle · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:51

Mr Chris wrote:

Morte wrote:

I also saw 'Punisher: Warzone' which seems to have swapped any pretext of plot or character development for gags. Gags such as: Shotgun blasts to the face at close range, old ladies with half their heads missing, heads falling off, knife plunges to the top of the head, Rambo style automatic weapon limb removal services and so on and so on. As such I think it's probably truer to the source material than the first one and overall I rather enjoyed it....don't think I'd sit through it again but it entertained my primative monkey brain for the hour and a half I wasted on it.

WHY WAS I NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS?

I was really hoping for a new Punisher film, as the first one was ok but just not violent enough (the cop out with the

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

blow torch in the torture scene is particularly annoying

). But why oh why have they replaced the guy from the first one with a guy who looks like a younger less ginger Ray Winstone?

I enjoyed it as well, although its quite strange how they've made punisher quite realistic, whilst main villian jigsaw is very comic like.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Apr 21, 2009 13:30

Morte wrote:

...the only thing better than killing Nazis is killing Zombie Nazis (COD 5 excepted of course).

Bugger. I thought that would be a highlight.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

Zardoz wrote:

Bugger. I thought that would be a highlight.

I like it. They're real zombies that shamble towards you slowly, but with just enough pace to put you under pressure.

That said, it is kind of a Tesco Value Horde mode.