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The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4631
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Author:  DavPaz [ Sat Sep 29, 2012 8:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

I agree with Dimmers. The clam should remain reserved unless it's being used

Author:  Dimrill [ Sat Sep 29, 2012 8:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Special delivery!

Author:  zaphod79 [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 6:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Hysterical Literature part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEx2zQ_0 ... ure=relmfu
Hysterical Literature part 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUARpT4JJew&feature=plcp

Author:  Grim... [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

@Meaty - I'm sure the last issue of Zoo I bought has Pinder in it. I'll take a look tonight.

Author:  Bear or Bust [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 17:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Its the Sperminator.

Author:  Grim... [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 21:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Boobs! On YouTube!

I'd better not embed it - someone on a Pc sort this out for me:

[edit]FINE I'LL DO IT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2XTEPen0Ow

Author:  ApplePieOfDestiny [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 21:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

zaphod79 wrote:

4 is the weakest of the series. My order of preference would be 2134

Author:  Grim... [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 21:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

4 gets there so quick you might be able to bring her off, Riles.

1 is my favourite.

Author:  sdg [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 22:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Bobbyaro wrote:
Hysterical Literature
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
There’s a video involved. I leave it up to you whether you read or watch first.

I’ve never understood vibrators. I’ve gone on record numerous times saying various versions of “I dislike them all except for Lelo’s Nea which I really only appreciate aesthetically.” I think it’s the buzzing that bothers me. I’ve posed for plenty of photospreads with toys, but I’ve always seen them as a poor substitute for a person and I’ve never had an orgasm from one. Less than a month ago I was on a panel at Exxxotica with some of the adult industry’s most successful female performers. Someone in the audience asked what our favorite vibrator was, and every single one of the other women shouted “Hitachi” in unison. That night I received an email from Clayton asking if I’d be interested in his new project.
He’s filming women sitting at a table reading literature. The twist is the things going on below the table. I like these sorts of things… This Empty Love was the first video work I enjoyed doing, making hardcore work with Digital Playground an interesting option later. I think the interesting parts of sex are in the hints of what can’t be seen. Penetrative sex, after all, is an exploration of something dark, moist, and cavelike.

I’ve chosen a section of Supervert’s “Necrophilia Variations.” I’m fascinated by Supervert and their (his?) body of work. I went with the Necrophilia themed volume because I’m currently in an oddly non-morbid obsession with something triangulated by the way an orgasm affects brain chemistry, the reasons behind the french nickname of la petite mort, and why my mind goes completely blank when I’m at the height of a sexual experience. There’s something in there, death and sex, maybe change or growth, and I’ve been focused on it since shortly before I posted “Touch.” Sometimes I can brush this concept with my fingertips, but I can’t grab hold and inspect it yet. The only way to understand is to wallow in anything that might hold a clue until it all clicks together (or am distracted by something shiny… but it would have to be *really* shiny.) Tl;dr: That’s the book that felt right.

I’ve been told to dress as I would for a date with a man, not a boy. I’m wearing a dress from Vivienne Westwood’s Anglomania collection last year. The cut limits the range of motion of my arms, but ideally I wouldn’t need to open my own doors or feel the desire to talk on my phone while on a date with a man. My makeup is simple, my heels very high but relatively practical, and my panties are both sophisticated and expensive. Also, damp in the gusset. Sexually speaking I really enjoy things that I can’t predict and things that are new to me. This attempting-to-read-aloud-and-maintain-composure while being sexually stimulated game is new. The video camera adds a dash of exhibitionism which I always appreciate. Most interesting, though, is the Hitachi that my vagina is about to be making very good friends with for the first time.

When I tell Clayton’s lovely assistant for the evening that I’ve never experienced the Hitachi, her eyes light up. I’ve obviously gotten myself into the most fun kind of trouble. Lights get set and everyone assumes their positions. My underwear lays on the floor out of frame. As I start reading, my disbelief is suspended. I forget what is about to happen. The first touch on my thigh sends all available blood to my vulva. I continue to enunciate properly, focusing on the text. I’ve broken a sweat. If this goes on for much longer my hair will be plastered to my head with perspiration as though I’ve been working out or engaging in acrobatic man/woman penetrative f**king. I stumble over a word, my concentration breaks as I go back to pronounce it correctly. Neither the Hitachi or the woman wielding it will be denied, but in the interests of art (and because this feels so beautifully filthy I don’t want it to stop yet) I hold out as long as I can. This section of the world that I’m inhabiting slows down, zooms in. Like a stretched rubber band it suddenly contracts, and I am lovingly punched with an orgasm.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQuT-Xfyk3o

I have fallen in love. Or lust. Whatever.

Author:  Grim... [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 22:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

metalangel wrote:
It's for related reasons that I found Lucy Pinder's continued employment in the "Cover of Nuts" industry staggering as she somehow managed to make a career of NOT showing her tits. I like pretty girls as much as the next man but this raft of magazines that survives on poorly written articles and the "phwoar, mate" aspect of "eight sizzling pages" of bored women naked but not revealing so much as a nipple, especially in the age of Lobstertube, hard to comprehend. Even with the crazed "oh, but I have to see HER bits" feeling, I can't understand how it's lasted so long in the face of proper porn online.

Here she is with her bits out in the most recent Zoo I got:
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/6145310/2012-1 ... .06.41.jpg
NSFW, obviously.

Author:  metalangel [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 22:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Not that cute, tits aren't that great. I don't see the big deal.

She got them out quite a while ago but it was one of those things she was demanding a high price for. Not unlike Gianna Michaels taking it in the can and others like Faye Reagan and Jenna Jameson refusing to (I think we've gone over this whole topic of Pinder before)

Author:  sdg [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 22:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Grim... wrote:
4 gets there so quick you might be able to bring her off, Riles.

1 is my favourite.

1,=4 and 2, 3. The girl in 4 is hot, and imagine how much you could tease her. I need a lie down.

Author:  Zardoz [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 23:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:

Her norks have the same colouring and texture as ET had when they found him in the stream.

Author:  Malc74 [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 0:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

zaphod79 wrote:


At the rate they're speeding up, number 10 will be done before she gets the book open.

Author:  Malc74 [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 0:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Of course, we should be thankful they haven't tried it with a bloke yet. Not least because he'd have to finish off by standing up and spunking all over the front cover of his book.

Author:  TheFireFaerie [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Malc74 wrote:
Of course, we should be thankful they haven't tried it with a bloke yet. Not least because he'd have to finish off by standing up and spunking all over the front cover of his book.


I did in fact suggest to APOD that he should give it a go. He gave similar reasons why it would be a rubbish (note, not bad) idea.

It does make me think of a scene in Swordfish, though. He had some willpower, wonder if any of you guys would... ;)

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

The body! The tits! Someone get this girl a better cameraman with a better camera, some lights and maybe someone who doesn't jam her face down into the pillow for almost the whole thing.

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

TheFireFaerie wrote:
It does make me think of a scene in Swordfish, though. He had some willpower, wonder if any of you guys would... ;)

I have often suggested that the IT department needs a Heidi for motivational reasons.

Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 8:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

sdg wrote:
Grim... wrote:
4 gets there so quick you might be able to bring her off, Riles.

1 is my favourite.

1,=4 and 2, 3. The girl in 4 is hot, and imagine how much you could tease her. I need a lie down.


:this:

Author:  Dimrill [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

mmm.

Author:  Bamba [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 22:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

metalangel wrote:
The body! The tits! Someone get this girl a better cameraman with a better camera, some lights and maybe someone who doesn't jam her face down into the pillow for almost the whole thing.


I saw that one years ago; she really does have magnificent boobs.

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Oct 02, 2012 22:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

If you read the comments there's one or two more of her, but all are filmed on a potato in that badly lit room by a guy with Parkinson's.

http://www.pornyeah.com/videos/homemade ... -9534.html

Kasumi Uehara is also pretty nice and in quite a few videos.

I might also have posted Maho Sawai before, she fucking loves it.

Author:  Cavey [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

In a truth-stranger-than-fiction world, it appears that Chinese boffins have made Roger Mellie's wank-o-matic machine an actual reality, although unlike the Viz version, the device is rather more complex than a manikin's hand connected via springs and a motor to a small box :D

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/gl ... -extractor

Quote:
Researchers at Zhengzhou Central Hospital in China have introduced the latest innovation in sperm donation - a hands free semen getting device.


All I can say is, I hope the machine has washable/disposable 'critical components' in between uses...

Author:  TheVision [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

A semen getting device.. Just think about that line for a moment.

Author:  metalangel [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 16:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Image

Author:  metalangel [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 21:21 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

WOW

Bounce

Fire down below

Split the kipper

Cute 1

Cute 2... wait, her nose!

Cute 3 is gonna get splinters in her flaps

I picked you some strawberries!

Show us everything at the same time!

Lovely! Show us the rest!

Author:  metalangel [ Wed Oct 10, 2012 0:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Exotic beauty!

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a01.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a02.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a03.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a04.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a05.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a06.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a07.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a08.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a09.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a10.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a11.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a12.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a14.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a15.jpg

http://inksmithy.co.uk/wp-content/uploa ... 10/a16.jpg

Author:  metalangel [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 1:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

For Grim... ONLY

Author:  Dimrill [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 1:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

That is the worst chop in history

Author:  Grim... [ Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:21 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

I think I'm going to have nightmares about that.

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

I'm not sure what's happening here (it's Jap-o-knees) but it seems like the guy enters her house on some pretence of being from a TV show or something (I'm not sure what's written on his sign) and then finds a ridiculous sex toy in her bathroom and blackmails her into sex with it. Worth it for him carrying her up the stairs without interrupting intercourse.

Author:  Bear or Bust [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 16:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Quote:
I'm not sure what's written on his sign

The only bit I can read says mango, and I'm guessing the top bit is attack.
This site I've found useful for working out the other kanji (entirely worksafe)

Author:  metalangel [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 4:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Titfucks!

Siri!
Japanese girl!
Mandy Morbid!

Author:  metalangel [ Sun Oct 28, 2012 17:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

PICS!

GIEV

Surely she has no need to do that

8) (clickable)

Hehe

D'awwwww...

Author:  Dimrill [ Wed Oct 31, 2012 19:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Beware, red hair.

Author:  metalangel [ Fri Nov 02, 2012 16:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

8)

Warning: this link is fucked up. Not poo or piss or vomit or anything like that, just possibly the biggest damned nipples you'll ever see. Be warned.

Author:  Bobbyaro [ Fri Nov 02, 2012 17:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

wtf?

Author:  Dimrill [ Fri Nov 02, 2012 17:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Plastic. Another Zena Fulsom.

Author:  metalangel [ Fri Nov 02, 2012 18:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

They're pretty well attached if they're fake.

Author:  Dimrill [ Fri Nov 02, 2012 18:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

The entire "tit" is fake. Zena Fulsom.

Author:  metalangel [ Sat Nov 10, 2012 16:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Num. Num. Num. Num. Num. Num. (forever)

Homina homina homina

The glasses make it

Tits and pussy

Pinky, perky and perky

and the best for last...

GIRLPILE!!!!!!!

Author:  metalangel [ Wed Nov 21, 2012 23:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

You supplies me in bathhouse!

Author:  metalangel [ Sat Dec 08, 2012 16:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

She's very cute, nice butt, top marks for the guy not having to jack off onto your face.

Anyone for a cuppa?

The director needs to go make some arty films for a while and then come back once it's out of his system. Bad dubbing, moody lighting, too concerned with mise-en-scène to actually show us the woman being rutted (well, except for closeups of her pulling faces at the camera)

Num nums!

The 'set up' to this one is hilarious, as is the description on another site: "Fervent shower anal corruption with brunette whore".

"Taylor is taking a shower and ends ups up with her ass full of cock". Just a typical day?

Author:  metalangel [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 16:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

The video itself is pretty bad (bony woman noshes some dude) but the title, "Itchy bird with a nutritious blood tap smashes pissers with a fella", is nothing short of genius.

In fact, it seems to be a theme. All on Nuvid, some guy is obsessed with the woman's hole being 'itchy' and then writing a ridiculous description.
http://www.nuvid.com/video/249209/delig ... -kuku-bird
http://www.nuvid.com/video/249573/itchy ... -and-water

Oh well. Have some redheads.

Author:  Grim... [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 15:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

sextoys.co.uk has 20% off all weekend.

Author:  Hearthly [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 15:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

We've pretty much given up on new sex toys, I've spent a fortune on the fucking things over the years and nothing works as well as a basic Rampant Rabbit from Ann Summers. (Well actually that's not quite true, since AE Jnr was born we've moved to an, ahem, 'wide-bore' Rabbit......)

Seriously, one of the drawers underneath the bed is full of sex toys that we'll never use again. Really I should just take them down to the charity shop or something.

The Rabbits do break eventually (the motors give up), last time I bought a replacement the rather nice assistant in Ann Summers demonstrated the actions of the shaft to me in the shop by rubbing her hand up and down it, and said how nice one in particular felt.

Needless to say she managed to suggestive-sell me a massively overpriced pack of batteries.

To be quite honest she could have sold me a dog turd in a box at that point.

Author:  Grim... [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 15:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

AtrocityExhibition wrote:
(Well actually that's not quite true, since AE Jnr was born we've moved to an, ahem, 'wide-bore' Rabbit......)

L-LOL

Author:  Hearthly [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 17:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Grim... wrote:
AtrocityExhibition wrote:
(Well actually that's not quite true, since AE Jnr was born we've moved to an, ahem, 'wide-bore' Rabbit......)

L-LOL


When AE Jnr was born the world gained a child and lost a nice tight fanny.

Author:  Trousers [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 21:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

AtrocityExhibition wrote:
Grim... wrote:
AtrocityExhibition wrote:
(Well actually that's not quite true, since AE Jnr was born we've moved to an, ahem, 'wide-bore' Rabbit......)

L-LOL


When AE Jnr was born the world gained a child and lost a nice tight fanny.


The world gained major squirtage as a result of Trousers Jnr's birth. Of Cytheria like magnitude.

GO TROUSER BIRTH

Author:  Grim... [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 23:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

8)

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