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 Post subject: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:14 
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I need to leave for uni in the next 20 mins and Devilman is actually busy at work! Can anyone spare 10 mins and proof read some work for me, just checking spelling, grammer and that it reads right? It's a bit late now to get hold of anyone else so I can get it printed off!

Thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:15 
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i wud butt eye aff 2 get sum food soz.

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:15 
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You should have just posted it here as a new topic and waited ;)

Post it in the review forum and let the sub-eds at it.

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:18 
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What-ho, chaps!

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Chuck it here.

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:25 
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Done it.

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:46 
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baron of techno

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Too late?

Goddess Jasmine wrote:
Last bit of the intro;

As members of the public we put our faith and trust in the police and their colleagues such as forensic scientists.

Social influence, group pressure and majority influence are known to be precursors to attitude change in social situations, but to what extent is unknown, as there can also be many other factors. With the temptations police face today, is it possible that this could spill over into the environment of the Crime Scene Investigator (CSI) or even the laboratory worker?
Police have to deal with maintaining order in a disorderly society with a complex legal code, under-funding and lax sentencing by judges. It is believed that many feel they must go beyond the law to do their jobs but risk harsh discipline when they do, causing morale to fall and possible institutional corruption. Officers’ constant use of "the end justifies the means" rationalisations could lead them to other illegal actions that can be rationalised in the same way. For the maintenance of social relationships, attitudes must be viewed favourably by ones peers (Bowles & Garoupa, 1997).

According to Chesshyre (1990), no workers spend more time in each others company than police officers. They kill time in canteens, spend hours cooped up in cars. They are off duty together due to their shift patterns, they are provided with excellent recreational amenities for them to share, often live side by side in police housing. The concern here is that with so much time together, the societal influence may influence the attitudes of those that who? would have been less likely to notdouble negative? do things ‘by the book’. With attitude influencing behaviour, there is the concern that the urge to ‘do the right thing’ may lead to doing the wrong thing, such as planting evidence or falsifying lab reports. This study will be looking to see if there is a risk that this could spread to other agencies of law enforcement such as CSIs.

Also group discussion can effectively change attitudes and behaviours showing the role of informational social influence (Smith et al 2007) and (Werner et al, 2008). Of concern here is the fact that involvement has long been theoretically specified as a crucial factor determining the persuasive impact of messages (Park et al, 2007). These two factors combined could result in even negative attitude changes. Particularly when people are susceptible to influences, even more so when they have lower self control resources which they need to fend off these influences (Burkley, 2008). Time at university can be a time of extreme stress or pressure for some people; not only academically but trying to fit in socially too. As is already known, expectation of disapproval or approval can be a major incentive in persuasion, more so from reference groups, peers and social groups. For high self monitors the need to fit well into social situation, image is very important. There is still hope however; attitudes formed following majority influence can still be changed back unless they are then further reinforced (Martin et al, 2008).

Also according to Chesshyre (1990) forty years ago – only 188 graduates out of 120,000 officers in the force – today there are more than 10,000 so university students were selected to be the participants.
This study will be looking to see if the knowledge gained while studying a crime related course changes a student’s attitude towards crime or certain aspects of it.

University students studying a forensic science course were asked to fill in questionnaires relating to attitude towards and beliefs about possible causes of violent behaviour, prevention and punishment. Students from both the first and third year were tested so as to ascertain if there were any differences due to the amount of knowledge gained, or if desensitisation to the subject area may occur. Also first and third non-forensics students were tested so as not to attribute a growth of confidence while at university (Preston 2004) to the results.

The three experimental hypotheses are: The attitude towards crime between first and third year students will differ. The attitude towards crime between forensics and non-forensics students will differ. The difference to attitudes to crime between forensic and non-forensic students will differ according to year group.


Ignore at will, and I'll remove it if you don't want it showing up in a google...


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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 13:46 
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What-ho, chaps!

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 2139
:nerd: Oops, my bad. I meant to say 'chuck it into PM', if you didn't want other folks to read it also.

Okie dokie. I've read it. :)

However, if you'll indulge my evil poking, I've monkeyed about with some of the parts that didn't seem to read comfortably to me.

Quote:
Social influence, group pressure and majority influence are known to be precursors to attitude change in social situations, but the extent of this is unknown, and there can also be many other factors. With the temptations police face today, is it possible that this could spill over into the environment of the Crime Scene Investigator (CSI) or even the laboratory worker? Police have to deal with maintaining order in a disorderly society suffering from a complex legal code, under funding and lax sentencing by judges. It is believed that many feel they must go beyond the law to do their jobs, but risk harsh discipline when they do, causing morale to fall and possible institutional corruption. Officers’ constant use of end-justifies-the-means rationalisations could lead them to other illegal actions that could be rationalised in the same way. For the maintenance of social relationships, attitudes must be viewed favourably by one's peers (Bowles & Garoupa, 1997).


I think your final comma at the end of the first sentence was confusing, as it didn't really belong with the rest of the sentence.

You could also use:
and there can also be many other factors.
as there can also be many other factors.

Or if you wanted to discuss the subject of other factors directly, use a full stop.

Quote:
According to Chesshyre (1990), no workers spend more time in each others company than police officers. They kill time in canteens, spend hours couped up in cars. They are off duty together due to their shift patterns, they are provided with excellent recreational amenities for them to share and often live side by side in police housing. The concern here is that with so much time together, the societal influence may influence the attitudes of those that would have been less likely to not do things ‘by the book’. With such behaviour, there is the concern that the urge to ‘do the right thing’ may lead to doing the wrong thing, such as planting evidence or falsifying lab reports. This study will be investigating the possibility of a risk that this could spread to other agencies of law enforcement such as CSIs.


I've fiddled with a comma list with a closing 'and', and made a few different word choices.

Quote:
Also, group discussion can effectively change attitudes and behaviours, showing the role of informational social influence (Smith et al, 2007, and Werner et al, 2008). Of concern here is the fact that involvement has long been theoretically specified as a crucial factor determining the persuasive impact of messages (Park et al, 2007). These two factors combined could result in even negative attitude changes, particularly when people are susceptible to influences, and even more so when they have lower self control resources which they need to fend off these influences (Burkley, 2008). Time at university can be a time of extreme stress or pressure for some people, not only academically, but trying to fit in socially too. As is already known, expectation of disapproval or approval can be a major incentive in persuasion, more so from reference groups, peers and social groups. For high self monitors the need to fit well into social situation, image is very important. There is still hope however: attitudes formed following majority influence can still be changed back unless they are then further reinforced (Martin et al, 2008).


Some different commas. I'm afraid I don't know what you mean with 'For high self monitors...'.

Quote:
Also according to Chesshyre (1990), there were only 188 graduates out of 120,000 officers in the force forty years ago. Today, more than 10,000 university students have been selected [?] to be the participants of this study.
This study will be looking to see if the knowledge gained while studying a crime related course changes a student’s attitude towards crime or certain aspects of it.

University students studying a forensic science course were asked to fill in questionnaires relating to attitude towards and beliefs about possible causes of violent behaviour, prevention and punishment. Students from both the first and third year were tested so as to ascertain if there were any differences due to the amount of knowledge gained, or if desensitisation to the subject area may occur. Also first and third non-forensics students were tested so as not to attribute a growth of confidence while at university (Preston 2004) to the results.

The three experimental hypotheses are:
1) The attitude towards crime between first and third year students will differ.
2) The attitude towards crime between forensics and non-forensics students will differ.
3) The difference to attitudes to crime between forensic and non-forensic students will differ according to year group.


Have the students 'been selected' or have they opted?

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 16:01 
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Cheers for the help guys, you've made some good points. Can I keep you on call as my personal proof readers? ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 16:05 
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You can always call on me to be an eagle-eyed anal bastard in future, also.

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 Post subject: Re: Relp!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 16:45 
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Thank you myoptika, I have a court report to be in next week that I can let you all loose on ;)

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